FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

That first message.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You know how guys are always on here asking about how to make that perfect first message? I think I need help too.

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to) but decided to be brave. I got a mind block! No idea what to say!

So go on, tell me how you approach it. Do you have a set way like making sure you reference their profile or wait until they make a forum comment? Are you a copy and paster? Do you try to be witty? Always add a pic? Help!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Hi how are you as the message

Attach a fanny pic

Thank me later

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddyBearBazMan
over a year ago

St Helens

I dont have no secret i just be myself in that 1st message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi how are you as the message

Attach a fanny pic

Thank me later "

What kind of fanny pic though!? From afar? Over a toilet? Pulled open so you can see my insides!?! Should I put something in there, I mean like a toy not something weird like a houseplant.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Just flutter your eyes

D.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read their profile, relate to it, be honest in what you want and send a picture, doesn't have to be naked, face pics will start a convo or end it so good to put it out there at the beginning to save on what could be wasted time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to be witty, reference their profile/photos.

Often we find people don't put in any effort in return so it runs out of steam quickly.

We have done copy paste too, but now we message first way less so tend to do something different each time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"You know how guys are always on here asking about how to make that perfect first message? I think I need help too.

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to) but decided to be brave. I got a mind block! No idea what to say!

So go on, tell me how you approach it. Do you have a set way like making sure you reference their profile or wait until they make a forum comment? Are you a copy and paster? Do you try to be witty? Always add a pic? Help!! "

I must say i'm speechless

You're stumped?

Just use your natural charm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"Hi how are you as the message

Attach a fanny pic

Thank me later

What kind of fanny pic though!? From afar? Over a toilet? Pulled open so you can see my insides!?! Should I put something in there, I mean like a toy not something weird like a houseplant. "

Over a dirty toilet with a sky remote obviously thank me later

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

So I was all set for helping you out with your epic struggle to lure in a penis but then I read this...


"I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to)"

and I sighed a bit. I'm glad you're going to start sending them out though! I don't have a set formula, normally I just respond off the back of a post or a status or some other thing. If you want to lure them in you should send that fisting photo - guaranteed action.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

All incumbent of everything

Profile, pictures, their forum personality

But its different guys vs gals as you can say "hi" and watch guys swoon

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

F.A.F is the easy answer!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

If they are on the forum, I’ll try and make a witty comment if reference to something they have said.

A general profile on here- I’ll again try to say something witty but, reference something on their profile or a pic.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"Hi how are you as the message

Attach a fanny pic

Thank me later

What kind of fanny pic though!? From afar? Over a toilet? Pulled open so you can see my insides!?! Should I put something in there, I mean like a toy not something weird like a houseplant. "

Any will do but it needs to be a black and white one so it looks like some thought has gone into it.

I’ll get you this cock you desire sister. I’m with you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I usually compliment them on their cock. Men love that

Plus they then send another 25 pics of their cock so it’s a win/win situation for me! I loves a cock pic i do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I message a guy first that I fancy I just say ‘lush’ here’s me and I attach some pictures. 100% success rate in 9 years!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I message first it's because I really like their profile and pictures. I never do copy and paste because I delete them straightaway. I'm just honest and talk about why I think we could get on well. I don't add pictures because if they're interested they can look at my photos and I can send a face pic later on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

glasgow


"You know how guys are always on here asking about how to make that perfect first message? I think I need help too.

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to) but decided to be brave. I got a mind block! No idea what to say!

So go on, tell me how you approach it. Do you have a set way like making sure you reference their profile or wait until they make a forum comment? Are you a copy and paster? Do you try to be witty? Always add a pic? Help!! "

What you could write and what you need to write are two different things IMHO

All you need to say is ‘Hi, I like you. Have a look at my pics and get back to me”

If he isn’t back to you within 45 seconds he’s a knob.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi how are you as the message

Attach a fanny pic

Thank me later

What kind of fanny pic though!? From afar? Over a toilet? Pulled open so you can see my insides!?! Should I put something in there, I mean like a toy not something weird like a houseplant. "

There’s probably no wrong answer, but to give a good idea of depth and width, either a Sky remote, as mentioned, deodorant can, or Pringles tube.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I was all set for helping you out with your epic struggle to lure in a penis but then I read this...

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to)

and I sighed a bit. I'm glad you're going to start sending them out though! I don't have a set formula, normally I just respond off the back of a post or a status or some other thing. If you want to lure them in you should send that fisting photo - guaranteed action."

You know it was tongue in cheek!

I normally save that pic for my second message, I don't want to peak too soon

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Any will do but it needs to be a black and white one so it looks like some thought has gone into it.

I’ll get you this cock you desire sister. I’m with you "

I'm gonna call you my wangman

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Just send them a picture of your tits

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"You know how guys are always on here asking about how to make that perfect first message? I think I need help too.

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to) but decided to be brave. I got a mind block! No idea what to say!

So go on, tell me how you approach it. Do you have a set way like making sure you reference their profile or wait until they make a forum comment? Are you a copy and paster? Do you try to be witty? Always add a pic? Help!! "

Most of my message are like me "simple" if you can't pass pleasantries in a message or be civil or try to show who you are not that it gets notice on here which just makes you doubt yourself or get judge by others action.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whenever I message a guy first that I fancy I just say ‘lush’ here’s me and I attach some pictures. 100% success rate in 9 years! "

If I looked like you I'd probably do the same

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"Whenever I message a guy first that I fancy I just say ‘lush’ here’s me and I attach some pictures. 100% success rate in 9 years!

If I looked like you I'd probably do the same "

And if Iooked like you then I'd do the same too Rubi

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r B.Man
over a year ago

Durham


"You know how guys are always on here asking about how to make that perfect first message? I think I need help too.

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to) but decided to be brave. I got a mind block! No idea what to say!

So go on, tell me how you approach it. Do you have a set way like making sure you reference their profile or wait until they make a forum comment? Are you a copy and paster? Do you try to be witty? Always add a pic? Help!! "

Just be you...the rest speaks for itself x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you put floccinaucinihilipilification in the message it guarantees a reply from me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whenever I message a guy first that I fancy I just say ‘lush’ here’s me and I attach some pictures. 100% success rate in 9 years!

If I looked like you I'd probably do the same

And if Iooked like you then I'd do the same too Rubi "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you put floccinaucinihilipilification in the message it guarantees a reply from me "

Oh I like the irony. The effort of writing it explains itself!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"If you want to lure them in you should send that fisting photo - guaranteed action.

You know it was tongue in cheek!

I normally save that pic for my second message, I don't want to peak too soon "

Shush, let me have my indignation for a couple of minutes!

Honestly, even hi would do it. A lot of men are... thirsty right now clearly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you put floccinaucinihilipilification in the message it guarantees a reply from me

Oh I like the irony. The effort of writing it explains itself!

"

Yep.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Go with your gut reaction, just let your words flow naturally from whatever caught your eye

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"If you want to lure them in you should send that fisting photo - guaranteed action.

You know it was tongue in cheek!

I normally save that pic for my second message, I don't want to peak too soon

Shush, let me have my indignation for a couple of minutes!

Honestly, even hi would do it. A lot of men are... thirsty right now clearly. "

You women always say you don't want a one word message but us men only need two "fuck me"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *X Mr Kipling XxMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I like to add a cheeky bum pic plus I'm always nice and polite

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just send a compliment as they must have something about them for me to message them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Wtf only you Rubi. A houseplant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wtf only you Rubi. A houseplant "

I'd go for a spiderwort plant and ask if they want to see my genital worts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere


"Wtf only you Rubi. A houseplant

I'd go for a spiderwort plant and ask if they want to see my genital worts "

I'm still laughing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bradford

[Removed by poster at 05/04/20 11:44:33]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"[Removed by poster at 05/04/20 11:44:33]"
let's face it rubi you could send a blank message with no pic an get a reply

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a bit more serious now. I think any message that suggests they fancy me, enjoyed reading my profile, like what I post on the forum or liked particular pictures I have uploaded, is highly likely to get a response. Unless it’s a bloke looking for a quick bj meet or similar or couples looking for an immediate meet. If they don’t interest me on either a social or sexual level the conversations tend be very short.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first message to my current meet would've read something along the lines of 'hey I've been stood up in this place, I remember from the forums that you live near there, are you free for a social?'

This was sent at almost 10pm and worked well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know how guys are always on here asking about how to make that perfect first message? I think I need help too.

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to) but decided to be brave. I got a mind block! No idea what to say!

So go on, tell me how you approach it. Do you have a set way like making sure you reference their profile or wait until they make a forum comment? Are you a copy and paster? Do you try to be witty? Always add a pic? Help!! "

First one you sent me was plenty good enough

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"So I was all set for helping you out with your epic struggle to lure in a penis but then I read this...

I don't normally send the first one (let's face it, I'm female I don't have to)

and I sighed a bit. I'm glad you're going to start sending them out though! I don't have a set formula, normally I just respond off the back of a post or a status or some other thing. If you want to lure them in you should send that fisting photo - guaranteed action."

I would not reply or be attracted to "that" photo nor a pussy pic first pic

I would require effort and a demonstration of insight x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually waiting for a comment to inspire me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"All incumbent of everything

Profile, pictures, their forum personality

But its different guys vs gals as you can say "hi" and watch guys swoon"

No seriously they cant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t overthink it would be my 2p.

I’ve sent some messages where I’ve able to work in a fair bit of humour as the person’s profile has given me both an idea of what their sense of humour is like and material that I can play off.

Others I’ve tried to inject humour from scratch in the hope they get it. Sometimes they will, sometimes they won’t. If it’s the latter, seems reasonable to assume we wouldn’t get on massively well if there was a meet, so potentially no loss.

Other times it’s a simple “Hi, love your pics/post about .....”.

Go with what flows at the time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read their profile and relate to it either attach a picture of your face and more if you really wish to grab some attention ha ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Most of the messages I send and receive (to/from people I've not messaged before) are off the back of forum posts and so tend to be geared around that and then just flow (or not) from there.

On the extremely rare occasions (the last was 3 years ago) that I send an unsolicited message I usually introduce myself, pick out something from their profile that interested me to comment on, tell them why I am writing and invite them to take a look at my profile and get back to me if they'd like to chat more - never mention meeting or sex - has got me a response in all but one instance.

You, and most other women, however could just send a message consisting of "." and be guaranteed a reply 95% of the time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top