FabSwingers.com forum: I feel sick

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As a border line self rigteous know it all, and high/strong opinioned on men's rights (for real men that can step up and be responsible for themselves and their "house"), have just a few hours ago, received a call from family member, to tell me my younger brother, has chinned two bottles of whisky, got border line physically violent with his wife infront of my nephew. Sister in law took boy to my sisters, and in meantime, dick of a brother falls down stairs and now in A&E with split skull and probably fractures to face.

FFS, only two weeks into to lockdown!! I try on socual media to point out rises in domestic abuse diring these times, and as mentioned before, get on my high horse about it. But littlr picks like this for some reason can't take/stand being at home with family.

Apologies for ranting on here like this, but been bit of a blow, especially when my siblings and I grew up in an abusive household. Just hope to god it's not something that becomes common place..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah sorry to hear this. I think it is quite a worry for a lot of organisations that people are in lockdown in unsafe homes

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Sorry to hear this. Hope you are ok. Be there for them all even in these difficult times.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can really empathise... Best wishes xx

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

My family is having similarish (though less violent) issues during lockdown. Though nobody has ended up in hospital, i'm not ruling it out as a possibility. It's difficult when you can't really physically be there to help. Are your sister in law and nephew OK?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm okay, just knocked me over. As metioned, he should really know better.

It's nephew and sister in law i feel for.

Wouldn't normally post something so personal, just want to hopefully try make people aware and hopefully think twice before "popping".

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think in the coming weeks it’s going to happen a lot.....however if people gave real thought to the reason for lockdown and maybe keep their angry feelings in check.....difficult thought.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I think these issues will become more apparent the longer this goes on, yes.

I hope all of your family, including your brother, get the help they need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My family is having similarish (though less violent) issues during lockdown. Though nobody has ended up in hospital, i'm not ruling it out as a possibility. It's difficult when you can't really physically be there to help. Are your sister in law and nephew OK? "

There at home, bag packed ready to go to my sisters incase, he turns up. (He can be a heed the baw at times).

Don't get me wrong, it hard at times families being on house arrest essentially, I've lost my temper couple times wuth partner, and her daughter, but never like that.

Don't know whether want to shake him and give him good talking to... Or as hairy lairy bikers say "Smash him in the foolin face!!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to you all, just hope more men see this and take heed..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thanks to you all, just hope more men see this and take heed..

I'm not usually this person, but I hope people take heed, not just men. (I know roughly the DV stats and I'm not minimising the usual gender dynamics, but it can go both ways)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey bad news man..hope all pans out..I often highlight mental health issues as I have a lot of issues due to hard forms of abuse as a child. There is a serious mental health problem riding on the back of corvid..so the more people recognise this maybe the more it can be reduced. Take care man

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks to you all, just hope more men see this and take heed..

I'm not usually this person, but I hope people take heed, not just men. (I know roughly the DV stats and I'm not minimising the usual gender dynamics, but it can go both ways)"

That what was getting at when metinoning about men's rights in original post, statistically, not actually much between going both ways, but depends on reporting and other factors. But this a bit too close to home..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey bad news man..hope all pans out..I often highlight mental health issues as I have a lot of issues due to hard forms of abuse as a child. There is a serious mental health problem riding on the back of corvid..so the more people recognise this maybe the more it can be reduced. Take care man

Thanks mate, as mentioned, grew up with this kind of thing, that why so pissed at the little shite. And as mentioned, just hope people see this and take heed. (broken record i know)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm okay, just knocked me over. As metioned, he should really know better.

It's nephew and sister in law i feel for.

Wouldn't normally post something so personal, just want to hopefully try make people aware and hopefully think twice before "popping". "

He should know better and no way am I defending him but is he violent without alchohol? Is it a catalyst?

Having had chronic alchoholics in the family and lived with an alchohol dependent I know how much it can alter someone, especially when there are other mental health issues

My husband is alchohol dependant, he is lovely off it and while he isn't physically abuse he is emotionally and verbally.

No excuse I know but your brother will need help and support himself.

In the meantime be there for his family. I hope everyone concerned is ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks to you all, just hope more men see this and take heed..

I'm not usually this person, but I hope people take heed, not just men. (I know roughly the DV stats and I'm not minimising the usual gender dynamics, but it can go both ways)"

It certainly can.

I lived for too many years in a violent relationship.

Stay safe and stay tolerant people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 5 yrs free from domestic abuse/violence yet suffered 5 yrs post separation abuse.

I hope lady n kids are strong enough with support to be kept safe.

Hard when family.

30% rise.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thanks to you all, just hope more men see this and take heed..

I'm not usually this person, but I hope people take heed, not just men. (I know roughly the DV stats and I'm not minimising the usual gender dynamics, but it can go both ways)

It's a complicated issue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm okay, just knocked me over. As metioned, he should really know better.

It's nephew and sister in law i feel for.

Wouldn't normally post something so personal, just want to hopefully try make people aware and hopefully think twice before "popping".

He should know better and no way am I defending him but is he violent without alchohol? Is it a catalyst?

Having had chronic alchoholics in the family and lived with an alchohol dependent I know how much it can alter someone, especially when there are other mental health issues

My husband is alchohol dependant, he is lovely off it and while he isn't physically abuse he is emotionally and verbally.

No excuse I know but your brother will need help and support himself.

In the meantime be there for his family. I hope everyone concerned is ok

No, i don't think he gets violent when sober, and I understand it can change people drastically, but he is a very deep person, and definitely has issues.

My sister and brother are quite close aged, and experienced the same upbringing - alcoholic abusive father (he did manage to stop drinkning for nearly a decade), but is part reason I've got so hung up about it. Yeah he needs help and support, but help only works if person needing it actually engages with help and support around him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks to you all, just hope more men see this and take heed..

I'm not usually this person, but I hope people take heed, not just men. (I know roughly the DV stats and I'm not minimising the usual gender dynamics, but it can go both ways)

It's a complicated issue. "

Very complicated, as with all social issues. Will have a very long conversation with him tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm okay, just knocked me over. As metioned, he should really know better.

It's nephew and sister in law i feel for.

Wouldn't normally post something so personal, just want to hopefully try make people aware and hopefully think twice before "popping".

He should know better and no way am I defending him but is he violent without alchohol? Is it a catalyst?

Having had chronic alchoholics in the family and lived with an alchohol dependent I know how much it can alter someone, especially when there are other mental health issues

My husband is alchohol dependant, he is lovely off it and while he isn't physically abuse he is emotionally and verbally.

No excuse I know but your brother will need help and support himself.

In the meantime be there for his family. I hope everyone concerned is ok

No, i don't think he gets violent when sober, and I understand it can change people drastically, but he is a very deep person, and definitely has issues.

I completely understand what you say about engagement and support. You are right

I sincerely hope you can all find a way through.

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