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Most embarrassing sexual experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

This made me laugh. A lot.

Please note...I wasn't there!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This made me laugh. A lot.

Please note...I wasn't there!"

No she didn't hang around long afterwards either..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This made me laugh. A lot.

Please note...I wasn't there!

No she didn't hang around long afterwards either.."

What's the matter with her! I'd of been bouncing up and down squealing at you to do it again!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No I was mortified.. did not expect it at all. Was very intense orgasm and just let rip

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Had you met her before?

We need details!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Nope. Was a 1 night stand. Didn't exchange numbers or anything... after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No I was mortified.. did not expect it at all. Was very intense orgasm and just let rip"

()

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Nope. Was a 1 night stand. Didn't exchange numbers or anything... after that"

I wonder if she's ever started a thread on a forum....once I was in a 69 with a bloke and.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Wow. You win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Jesus Chris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Hahaha my kinda gal ()

I rem_mber once, the guy I had a crazy night with set out for work & left me asleep at his. I got up & went to make the bed & there was this huge shit stain on the mattress, quite fresh Now he did ultimately pound my ass that night but I also fingered his ass whilst sucking him off so I'm still unsure who was the culprit.

If it was me I'd have had a shitty arse though surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink.

Hahaha my kinda gal ()

I rem_mber once, the guy I had a crazy night with set out for work & left me asleep at his. I got up & went to make the bed & there was this huge shit stain on the mattress, quite fresh Now he did ultimately pound my ass that night but I also fingered his ass whilst sucking him off so I'm still unsure who was the culprit.

If it was me I'd have had a shitty arse though surely "

Yeah you’d have some clinkers at least.

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By *illerpinsMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink.

Hahaha my kinda gal ()

I rem_mber once, the guy I had a crazy night with set out for work & left me asleep at his. I got up & went to make the bed & there was this huge shit stain on the mattress, quite fresh Now he did ultimately pound my ass that night but I also fingered his ass whilst sucking him off so I'm still unsure who was the culprit.

If it was me I'd have had a shitty arse though surely "

Was it a good night though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went back to someone's house after a night out and went down on her, this was all in the dark and finished went to the bathroom and looked it the mirror and my face was covered in blood I cleaned up and got a taxi and never went back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart "

gave me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went back to someone's house after a night out and went down on her, this was all in the dark and finished went to the bathroom and looked it the mirror and my face was covered in blood I cleaned up and got a taxi and never went back"

Why never go back, not the birds fault.

Plus every guys needs to earn his red wings and his brown wings.

Man card - revoked!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This makes my fanny farts feel like childsplay!

Keep going!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Dying reading this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went back to someone's house after a night out and went down on her, this was all in the dark and finished went to the bathroom and looked it the mirror and my face was covered in blood I cleaned up and got a taxi and never went back

Why never go back, not the birds fault.

Plus every guys needs to earn his red wings and his brown wings.

Man card - revoked!!"

I just fealt embarrassed and didn't know how to deal with the situation. I'm sorry if this story came across bad I didn't intend it to.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart "

Were you still crouched down with your arse near her face, or had you raised your arse up a bit?

I’m weak laughing. This has made my night

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By *ecks74Woman
over a year ago

wrexham

One of the funniest thing ever ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart

Were you still crouched down with your arse near her face, or had you raised your arse up a bit?

I’m weak laughing. This has made my night "

No she was on top.. And was going for it as she knew I was getting close... her nose couldn't have been closer to my ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cum as soon as she pulled my pants down

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart

Were you still crouched down with your arse near her face, or had you raised your arse up a bit?

I’m weak laughing. This has made my night

No she was on top.. And was going for it as she knew I was getting close... her nose couldn't have been closer to my ass "

oh my days.

She’ll never forget you!

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By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

In my twenties I was thrusting in and out of my current gf doggy style , after a few minutes she asked, is it in yet ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart

Were you still crouched down with your arse near her face, or had you raised your arse up a bit?

I’m weak laughing. This has made my night

No she was on top.. And was going for it as she knew I was getting close... her nose couldn't have been closer to my ass

oh my days.

She’ll never forget you! "

She was quite surprised with a big mouthful of jizz at the same time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had a fart in my mouth before. Wasn’t the guys fault though, was my own fault. Happily having a lick of this dudes arsehole whilst he was asleep and then I had a blowback.

Haven’t let it deter me from my passions though.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I was attempting to peg a fella i’d met on here and had been seeing for awhile.

I put a lot of lube on as he was a bit tight. I positioned myself and as i thrust in, i missed the hole and the strap on (with me attached) slid up his back.

I got the giggles and that was that....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve had a fart in my mouth before. Wasn’t the guys fault though, was my own fault. Happily having a lick of this dudes arsehole whilst he was asleep and then I had a blowback.

Haven’t let it deter me from my passions though. "

Haha you sound like fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Beautiful

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Pmsl.......reminds me of a certain lady i dated that used to squirt uncontrollably and on many occassion number 2 used to let go as well......she was always mortified and spend rest of the night apologising...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went back to someone's house after a night out and went down on her, this was all in the dark and finished went to the bathroom and looked it the mirror and my face was covered in blood I cleaned up and got a taxi and never went back"

Virgin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was attempting to peg a fella i’d met on here and had been seeing for awhile.

I put a lot of lube on as he was a bit tight. I positioned myself and as i thrust in, i missed the hole and the strap on (with me attached) slid up his back.

I got the giggles and that was that....

"

Love imagining you sliding all the way up his back whilst saying "weeeeeeeee"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Farted once in the other halfs face after he got me over relaxed while rimming me, wasn't the usual fart noise either but more of a 'pfffft' . Also farted during an orgasm, that completely ruins everything and another time I experimented with a ribbed butt plug but when he pulled it out he discreetly disappeared to the toilet. Turned out every rib was covered with poop he's a wee gem tho, sparing my blushes bless him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a massage parlour saw 3 beautifull ladies lost my viagra and could not get it up and they all laughed at me and called me ugly which is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread has made my day. Absolutely brilliant. Comedy gold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went to a massage parlour saw 3 beautifull ladies lost my viagra and could not get it up and they all laughed at me and called me ugly which is true"

You really don’t like yourself do you.

I doubt they would laugh at you or call you ugly as they’d want your custom.

Be kinder to yourself, and get a haircut when all this virus stuff is over.

For now buy one of those garnier face masks, have a nice bath and relax and pamper yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went to a massage parlour saw 3 beautifull ladies lost my viagra and could not get it up and they all laughed at me and called me ugly which is true

You really don’t like yourself do you.

I doubt they would laugh at you or call you ugly as they’d want your custom.

Be kinder to yourself, and get a haircut when all this virus stuff is over.

For now buy one of those garnier face masks, have a nice bath and relax and pamper yourself. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went to a massage parlour saw 3 beautifull ladies lost my viagra and could not get it up and they all laughed at me and called me ugly which is true

You really don’t like yourself do you.

I doubt they would laugh at you or call you ugly as they’d want your custom.

Be kinder to yourself, and get a haircut when all this virus stuff is over.

For now buy one of those garner face masks, have a nice bath and relax and pamper yourself. "
thanks for the advice any haircut you could recommend x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went to a massage parlour saw 3 beautifull ladies lost my viagra and could not get it up and they all laughed at me and called me ugly which is true

You really don’t like yourself do you.

I doubt they would laugh at you or call you ugly as they’d want your custom.

Be kinder to yourself, and get a haircut when all this virus stuff is over.

For now buy one of those garnier face masks, have a nice bath and relax and pamper yourself. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There's a haircut thread at the moment

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By *NACONDA1000Man
over a year ago

buncrana

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By *ubeeStarrXoXTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart "

Haha made me laugh reading that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so embarrassing but painful.. A lady I once knew told me her sister melted chocolate and poured the boiling liquid over her boyfriends bits and he ended up going to the hospital.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ouch

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By *hrissycox66TV/TS
over a year ago

watford


"At the end of a 69 I shot my load.. Just as I did I let out a 5 second machine gun fart "

I think they call that extra thrusters lol

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Mr friend once lost her butt plug after a hard session and had to sit on the loo and wait for it to come back out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink.

Hahaha my kinda gal ()

I rem_mber once, the guy I had a crazy night with set out for work & left me asleep at his. I got up & went to make the bed & there was this huge shit stain on the mattress, quite fresh Now he did ultimately pound my ass that night but I also fingered his ass whilst sucking him off so I'm still unsure who was the culprit.

If it was me I'd have had a shitty arse though surely

Yeah you’d have some clinkers at least.

"

Don’t you need hair there for clinkers? I’m not suggesting anything btw

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By *ungscotsman26Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Jesus Christ some of these stories hahaha

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By *cooby5555Man
over a year ago

galway


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "
something about this is horny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re talking a while back but I was once forced to walk a mile home bollock naked in just my socks. Was seeing some girl, her mum came home.. found me hiding under her bed. She literally dragged me out from under the bed and through me out the house without my clothes. Best day of my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting caught by the girls mum at the wrong time have to say was a different cumming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Getting caught by the girls mum at the wrong time have to say was a different cumming "
worse part is we didn’t even fuck that night, her mum came home minutes after I’d stripped off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Getting caught by the girls mum at the wrong time have to say was a different cumming worse part is we didn’t even fuck that night, her mum came home minutes after I’d stripped off"

She might have joined in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/04/20 12:43:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Getting caught by the girls mum at the wrong time have to say was a different cumming worse part is we didn’t even fuck that night, her mum came home minutes after I’d stripped off

She might have joined in "

Nah she was a beast she single handedly dragged me from under the bed, and through me out. I was lucky it was early hours or I would of got more beeps than I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

You're going to have to do more than that to put guys off haha. You're a beaut x

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

That happened to me in a club once the bloke was so big I told him stop I'm shitting myself he didn't and I DID!!! How embarrassing had to go wash in the loo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much bad sexual experience but trying to escape from a one night stand once and got caught by his flat mates who grilled me so I gave them a fake number and told them to pass it on to him when he wakes up. Then ran out the door forgetting my shoes (clearly I was still d*unk!) then had no idea where I was had to call a taxi to come find me. Then to top it off bumped into him at the gym a few weeks later. Awkward.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"Not so much bad sexual experience but trying to escape from a one night stand once and got caught by his flat mates who grilled me so I gave them a fake number and told them to pass it on to him when he wakes up. Then ran out the door forgetting my shoes (clearly I was still d*unk!) then had no idea where I was had to call a taxi to come find me. Then to top it off bumped into him at the gym a few weeks later. Awkward. "

very

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By *andj4fungamesCouple
over a year ago

Los Alcazares

I used to date a girl that loved to be spanked. Honestly, so hard it hurt my hand but really turned her on. When we finished the relationship, shortly after I started another girl. The first time we had sex, we ended up doing it doggy style. Completely without thinking, I swung back and slapped her quite hard on the bum. She shot forward like a bullet and gave me such a filthy look while hanging on to the headboard. Difficult to apologise and explain the previous girlfriend used to love it. Funny enough that was the first and last time we had sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Hahahahaha I ended up with a little nugget of sweet corn right on the end of my cock, after s similar experience.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

How often do you get to read the expression "unplanned anal"? That post was a treat in multiple ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also was shagging a ex girlfriend in her parents house, when I was a teenager. I was allowed to stay over but in separate rooms. I sneaked I’m in the night and we were going at it hammer and tongs doggie style, when suddenly I hear the door open behind me. I turned round still inside and it was her father. All he said was ‘OUT’ I left quietly and in the morning he insisted on giving me a lift home. The only words uttered in the car were by him. He told me ‘I don’t appreciate dog shows in my house, especially if my daughter is involved’. And that was that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

I absolutely love this

We've all done it. Surely....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One guy I played with shit the bed. On purpose!

I initially thought it was an accident at first. I was sucking him off and playing with his arse when I got a very shitty waft. I pulled away and said "I'm popping to the bathroom" (assuming he would also). I washed my hands in the bathroom on the landing and expected him to be in the shower in his room. I went back in to grab my clothes and he's lying there, wanking himself off in his own shit.

I threw my clothes on and got out of there. He ran down the stairs after me. Naked. It was like a scene from American Psycho, but with shit. Lots of shit. I couldn't drive away quick enough.

He messaged me afterwards to tell me I was frigid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most embarrassing sexual experience for me would have to be...

Few years ago myself and girlfriend at the time not long been together balls deep in the honeymoon period as you would say so you can imagine sex was high on the priority list during that period. Anyhoo sunny Saturday afternoon been drinking Friday night/Saturday horny as hell eventually gave in and we got at it on the living coffee table like wild rabbits

Unknown to us though the bloody window cleaner and his 15 year old son were out on their ladders and seen absolutely everything my partner was mortified to say the least but you could clearly see she definitely made the young lads Saturday shift one to rem_mber he couldn’t wipe the smile of hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought my gf at the time had started her period as my nob was covered in blood... Turns out I snapped my banjo. I went white as a sheet and nearly fainted at the thought of going to A&E

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One guy I played with shit the bed. On purpose!

I initially thought it was an accident at first. I was sucking him off and playing with his arse when I got a very shitty waft. I pulled away and said "I'm popping to the bathroom" (assuming he would also). I washed my hands in the bathroom on the landing and expected him to be in the shower in his room. I went back in to grab my clothes and he's lying there, wanking himself off in his own shit.

I threw my clothes on and got out of there. He ran down the stairs after me. Naked. It was like a scene from American Psycho, but with shit. Lots of shit. I couldn't drive away quick enough.

He messaged me afterwards to tell me I was frigid. "

I've lead a sheltered life haha it must be funny to look back on though haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two stand out

First one - she licked my balls, they're very ticklish, I kneed her in the face involuntarily and she fell off the bed

Second one- I got naked, she pointed and laughed at my cock, that was fucking embarrassing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much embarrassing but definitely awkward was the guy who kept roaring like a tiger. On purpose, he made clawing motions with his hands too.

He seemed disappointed I didn't roar back.

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By *usthere4uMan
over a year ago

North East

[Removed by poster at 02/04/20 23:32:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much embarrassing but definitely awkward was the guy who kept roaring like a tiger. On purpose, he made clawing motions with his hands too.

He seemed disappointed I didn't roar back. "

That’s made my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much embarrassing but definitely awkward was the guy who kept roaring like a tiger. On purpose, he made clawing motions with his hands too.

He seemed disappointed I didn't roar back. "

Love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much embarrassing but definitely awkward was the guy who kept roaring like a tiger. On purpose, he made clawing motions with his hands too.

He seemed disappointed I didn't roar back. "

Bloody hell lol

It wasn’t by any chance that tiger king from Netflix was it hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two stand out

First one - she licked my balls, they're very ticklish, I kneed her in the face involuntarily and she fell off the bed

Second one- I got naked, she pointed and laughed at my cock, that was fucking embarrassing "

I love your stories!!!

I thought mine was funny... i had a social with this guy on here and then we agreed to have a proper meet. I gave him a tit wank with lots of oil. Then we had sex so he out a condom on. We changed position and the condon had "vanished". Couldnt find it anywhere...that's right it was stuck inside me. I couldnt get it out. He left and in the end my partner fished it out. What a hero!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much embarrassing but definitely awkward was the guy who kept roaring like a tiger. On purpose, he made clawing motions with his hands too.

He seemed disappointed I didn't roar back.

Bloody hell lol

It wasn’t by any chance that tiger king from Netflix was it hahahahaha "

No but he did look a lot like Jim Carey, he pulled faces like him too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much embarrassing but definitely awkward was the guy who kept roaring like a tiger. On purpose, he made clawing motions with his hands too.

He seemed disappointed I didn't roar back.

Bloody hell lol

It wasn’t by any chance that tiger king from Netflix was it hahahahaha

No but he did look a lot like Jim Carey, he pulled faces like him too. "

Oh wow well aren’t you just the luckiest lady ever hahahaha

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

Left my wallet at home when I went to the local whore house , had to sign a i owe yiu

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By *eachyqueen2019Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink.

Hahaha my kinda gal ()

I rem_mber once, the guy I had a crazy night with set out for work & left me asleep at his. I got up & went to make the bed & there was this huge shit stain on the mattress, quite fresh Now he did ultimately pound my ass that night but I also fingered his ass whilst sucking him off so I'm still unsure who was the culprit.

If it was me I'd have had a shitty arse though surely "

It was all on the sheets? Did he gain a lot of enjoyment from rimming too? Spooning could have passed the buck.

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By *hampagne_Supernova_91Man
over a year ago

Manchester

In bed with a partner and had her sat on my face. Both a bit d*unk from a night out anyway, having a great time and she goes "Whoops". As I go to ask, She tumbles off of me and squits all over the floor, spent the night trying to clean it up between heaving and sobering up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright "

Cringe! Lol

You've reminded of another meet....

Went back to his after a social. Up to his room. Midway through fucking I can hear someone shouting from the front garden "Katie! Katie you fucking slag.". So he opens the window and some fella is stood in his front garden shouting up. Claiming that he's been listening to him have sex with his cheating GF. The neighbours are out too all nosing. In the end, I had to pop my head out the window and prove I wasn't his girlfriend. He just shouted up "Sorry about that Queen. Carry on!". Kinda killed the mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright

Cringe! Lol

You've reminded of another meet....

Went back to his after a social. Up to his room. Midway through fucking I can hear someone shouting from the front garden "Katie! Katie you fucking slag.". So he opens the window and some fella is stood in his front garden shouting up. Claiming that he's been listening to him have sex with his cheating GF. The neighbours are out too all nosing. In the end, I had to pop my head out the window and prove I wasn't his girlfriend. He just shouted up "Sorry about that Queen. Carry on!". Kinda killed the mood"

Freddy Mercury cos play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright

Cringe! Lol

You've reminded of another meet....

Went back to his after a social. Up to his room. Midway through fucking I can hear someone shouting from the front garden "Katie! Katie you fucking slag.". So he opens the window and some fella is stood in his front garden shouting up. Claiming that he's been listening to him have sex with his cheating GF. The neighbours are out too all nosing. In the end, I had to pop my head out the window and prove I wasn't his girlfriend. He just shouted up "Sorry about that Queen. Carry on!". Kinda killed the mood

Freddy Mercury cos play?"

I wish! Would've been more fun...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright

Cringe! Lol

You've reminded of another meet....

Went back to his after a social. Up to his room. Midway through fucking I can hear someone shouting from the front garden "Katie! Katie you fucking slag.". So he opens the window and some fella is stood in his front garden shouting up. Claiming that he's been listening to him have sex with his cheating GF. The neighbours are out too all nosing. In the end, I had to pop my head out the window and prove I wasn't his girlfriend. He just shouted up "Sorry about that Queen. Carry on!". Kinda killed the mood

Freddy Mercury cos play?

I wish! Would've been more fun..."

You'd look good with a moustache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright

Cringe! Lol

You've reminded of another meet....

Went back to his after a social. Up to his room. Midway through fucking I can hear someone shouting from the front garden "Katie! Katie you fucking slag.". So he opens the window and some fella is stood in his front garden shouting up. Claiming that he's been listening to him have sex with his cheating GF. The neighbours are out too all nosing. In the end, I had to pop my head out the window and prove I wasn't his girlfriend. He just shouted up "Sorry about that Queen. Carry on!". Kinda killed the mood

Freddy Mercury cos play?

I wish! Would've been more fun...

You'd look good with a moustache."

Currently growing one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last summer mid heatwave I’d opened the bedroom windows before we went to sleep, come morning we’d forgotten, we were getting down to it when someone started banging at the door and shouted up to see if everything was okay, it was old couple from down the road out walking the dog. They made me come downstairs and open the door to prove I was alright

Cringe! Lol

You've reminded of another meet....

Went back to his after a social. Up to his room. Midway through fucking I can hear someone shouting from the front garden "Katie! Katie you fucking slag.". So he opens the window and some fella is stood in his front garden shouting up. Claiming that he's been listening to him have sex with his cheating GF. The neighbours are out too all nosing. In the end, I had to pop my head out the window and prove I wasn't his girlfriend. He just shouted up "Sorry about that Queen. Carry on!". Kinda killed the mood

Freddy Mercury cos play?

I wish! Would've been more fun...

You'd look good with a moustache.

Currently growing one "

Sing ay-o, and I'll repeat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first ever boyfriend was my first for alot of things.

Not only did he have to be d*unk to have sex with me but he was grew a little obsessed with anal.

One of our early attempts was at his parents house and midway through his younger brother bursts in, he reacted by swinging me into a set of drawers, knocking me out and leaving me naked on the floor.

I am still not amused over 15 years later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This pales in comparison to some of the above, and is funny rather than embarrassing.

But I was with a boyfriend once at a house party at his friend's dad's place while the parents were away. We were staying over and had a lovely guest room and after some drinks and games etc, we went to bed and one thing led to another.

So my boyfriend is fucking me up against the wall and he decides to carry me over to the sofa. Except he trips and drops me and I hit my head pretty hard.

So we go downstairs for some ice and it turns out his friends heard everything.

Oops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ann Wilkes.... I've done same? Do we know each other??? Was it langland by any chance???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't compete with all these stories...

Most embarrassing thing has to be, me and my Mrs got home from great night out, and we couldn't wait to get to bedroom, so as she sat on kitchen stool, I knelt down, head up her skirt and knickers pulled to side. After a good 10 mins or so of her not even bothering to stiffle her moans, kitchen door flew open, and to her daughters disgust (she's an adult) went absolutely mental and kicked me in ribs!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ann Wilkes.... I've done same? Do we know each other??? Was it langland by any chance???

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

Shit happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That post has made my day. That’s the winner!


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I can't beleive I am going to admit this but here goes.

So I'm on a meet and the guy is fingering me going for the gush. He was quite forceful.

I felt something and as the guy looked towards the floor at what I thought was gonna be a wet patch and there to my absolute horror was a bit pf poo

Turns out it had happened to him on other occasions. It has never happened before or since.

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By *unonly10Man
over a year ago

liverpool


"I rem_mber having unplanned anal and after a few pumps could smell poop and by the end I didn’t want him to pull out, so kind of manoeuvred out the bed with him holding his dick in place, we human centipede shuffled to the bathroom, he slipped out and I sat on the toilet farting with spunk and shit mash dribbling out of me whilst washing his willy in the sink. "
this is the real life anal that porn doenst show us haha

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