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May I remind people (esp women and couples) here that FAB is not a free escort service for gigolos

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

All,

One of this weeks most hotly debated topics in this London forum was titled:

"Anyone else struggle to meet people? Or is it just me?"

and unfortunately it turned into a rather seriously pathetic slanging match - flaming the OP and becoming rather nasty.

We(all of us), should be ashamed of ourselves, that our community acts in such a way.

There seems to be a tendency around here to treat single guys (especially those who are middle aged, white and straight) as ten-a-penny.

Going back to my subject, with the barriers that some people put up to contact or their extortionately high barrier to eve respond to a well written message, it seems to me that there are a number of people that are trying to use FabSwingers as a free escort service for gigolos.

Some of the attitudes shown in that previous thread were quite appalling and downright rude - I notice some were even removed by the site admin.

We are all here for a bit of fun, but I think some folks need reminding that although, alot of this is NSA or an equivalent, we all have feelings and that playing with someones emotions, whether intentionally or not(or by not even realising), is never a good thing to do, especially in a community such as ours.

All of this creates not only a bad feeling with single guys here, but do you not all realise the consequences of this?

In the other thread, a number of folks complained about both the number of messages they get(especially duplicated ones) and the number of meets where they are stood up (6 guys all cancelling for a GB in a hotel for example).

Because meets for single guys are so very few and far between, most will say yes to anything that comes along, even if they have no intentions of going OR they have a personal life clash that they might have problems moving.

They will also start sending one-liners, copy/paste messages and maybe even being a bit nasty, not because they ever had any intent to be so, but because of the way that they are treated here.

Full disclosure - I have never done any of the above, but have been tempted.

So, folks, its genuinely up to you all about how you want to treat your fellow swingers.

Note I said swingers, not hookers, gigolos, prostitutes or otherwise.

Happy Fabbing....

Steve

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By *ndianchocolateMan
over a year ago

Pinner

Well said and nicely put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you read that other thread all wrong mate. The only person that left that thread was the original poster. He obviously expected Fab to be easier than he expected. People gave him sound advice which he chose to ignore and blame everything on women with high expectations. It was only then that things got a bit heated, then he flounced a bit, threw his toys out the pram, blamed more women and threatened to leave a few times before eventually leaving

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you read that other thread all wrong mate. The only person that left that thread was the original poster. He obviously expected Fab to be easier than he expected. People gave him sound advice which he chose to ignore and blame everything on women with high expectations. It was only then that things got a bit heated, then he flounced a bit, threw his toys out the pram, blamed more women and threatened to leave a few times before eventually leaving"

Im afraid that none of that should matter - this is a swingers club, not a free adult work type site and the OP was not complaining about anything other than exactly what I outline above.

This is not a continuation or discussion of that previous thread, but an observation of the way that we treat people here within this community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you read that other thread all wrong mate. The only person that left that thread was the original poster. He obviously expected Fab to be easier than he expected. People gave him sound advice which he chose to ignore and blame everything on women with high expectations. It was only then that things got a bit heated, then he flounced a bit, threw his toys out the pram, blamed more women and threatened to leave a few times before eventually leaving

Im afraid that none of that should matter - this is a swingers club, not a free adult work type site and the OP was not complaining about anything other than exactly what I outline above.

This is not a continuation or discussion of that previous thread, but an observation of the way that we treat people here within this community.

"

The OP was complaining about the fact that some women have high expectations i.e looking for gym fit black males etc. He was dwelling on these profiles instead of looking for someone who is looking for something different. He was bemoaning the fact that an average white male doesn't get a look in on this site. Which is probably true in some cases, but the site is what you make it I guess. No point moaning that certain profiles aren't looking for the type of person that you are, you just move on and look for someone who is

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Mike,

As a protagonist on the other thread, you are always going to try and defend yourself and your actions.

As a reminder, this is NOT a discussion relating to that other thread, but an observation about how we treat people within this community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mike,

As a protagonist on the other thread, you are always going to try and defend yourself and your actions.

As a reminder, this is NOT a discussion relating to that other thread, but an observation about how we treat people within this community."

You brought the other thread up in your original post. I'm just explaining how it is as you got a couple of things wrong (admins removed people, which they didn't

bring one of them). I am not defending my actions, I admit I could have said some things differently, as I'm sure the original poster could have also. Nobody is perfect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" (admins removed people, which they didn't "

Sorry Mike, you must have missed some of the worst comments - but there were at least 3 posts removed - you will not see these or any trace of them due to the way these forums work.

Again, this is a general discussion of how we treat people in this community, not a discussion of a different thread - the thread was mentioned as an example of how we are treating people here and if this is really how we want our community to be ?

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"All,

One of this weeks most hotly debated topics in this London forum was titled:

"Anyone else struggle to meet people? Or is it just me?"

and unfortunately it turned into a rather seriously pathetic slanging match - flaming the OP and becoming rather nasty.

We(all of us), should be ashamed of ourselves, that our community acts in such a way.

There seems to be a tendency around here to treat single guys (especially those who are middle aged, white and straight) as ten-a-penny.

Going back to my subject, with the barriers that some people put up to contact or their extortionately high barrier to eve respond to a well written message, it seems to me that there are a number of people that are trying to use FabSwingers as a free escort service for gigolos.

Some of the attitudes shown in that previous thread were quite appalling and downright rude - I notice some were even removed by the site admin.

We are all here for a bit of fun, but I think some folks need reminding that although, alot of this is NSA or an equivalent, we all have feelings and that playing with someones emotions, whether intentionally or not(or by not even realising), is never a good thing to do, especially in a community such as ours.

All of this creates not only a bad feeling with single guys here, but do you not all realise the consequences of this?

In the other thread, a number of folks complained about both the number of messages they get(especially duplicated ones) and the number of meets where they are stood up (6 guys all cancelling for a GB in a hotel for example).

Because meets for single guys are so very few and far between, most will say yes to anything that comes along, even if they have no intentions of going OR they have a personal life clash that they might have problems moving.

They will also start sending one-liners, copy/paste messages and maybe even being a bit nasty, not because they ever had any intent to be so, but because of the way that they are treated here.

Full disclosure - I have never done any of the above, but have been tempted.

So, folks, its genuinely up to you all about how you want to treat your fellow swingers.

Note I said swingers, not hookers, gigolos, prostitutes or otherwise.

Happy Fabbing....

Steve

"
. You are correct we should treat each other with respect however the OP on the thread you are referring to seemed to be a bit too much expecting a reply to his polite messages when on Fabs if someone deletes your message without replying If doesn’t necessarily mean they are rude it means that for whatever reason they choose not to reply to you it!s their right.I gave him 3-4 pieces of advice with regards to putting his name down for two upcoming socials one of which is on his doorstep instead he started talking on the forum about his personal situation.In the end I wished him good luck with whatever he decides to do.I don’t believe I was ever rude to him I gave him what I consider to be good helpful advice but my thoughts were with regards to what he posted on the forums about his personal life perhaps at this moment of his life Fabs is not for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" (admins removed people, which they didn't

Sorry Mike, you must have missed some of the worst comments - but there were at least 3 posts removed - you will not see these or any trace of them due to the way these forums work.

Again, this is a general discussion of how we treat people in this community, not a discussion of a different thread - the thread was mentioned as an example of how we are treating people here and if this is really how we want our community to be ?"

Ah OK sorry I understand now. I wasn't aware of any comments being removed at the time.

Yeah I think everyone could be nicer. I do try to get along with everyone I meet, but people take to different folk for different reasons. It would be a nice but strange world if everyone was nice to each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you read that other thread all wrong mate. The only person that left that thread was the original poster. He obviously expected Fab to be easier than he expected. People gave him sound advice which he chose to ignore and blame everything on women with high expectations. It was only then that things got a bit heated, then he flounced a bit, threw his toys out the pram, blamed more women and threatened to leave a few times before eventually leaving"

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By *hycurious32Man
over a year ago

East midlands

[Removed by poster at 17/08/19 22:32:39]

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By *ougarsandcubsWoman
over a year ago

Medway

I thought you're original post was well put and made some great observations until I got to the bottom line and then I felt this??

QUOTE

Note I said swingers, not hookers, gigolos, prostitutes or otherwise.

UNQUOTE

Surely This is a lifestyle choice and the people who use this site could be ALL OR NONE OF THE ABOVE.

The beginning was about the treatment of a certain group of users and their treatment under stereotype.. Yet the last line then sterotyped and alienated several user groups

Does that not show Just how easy it is without even thinking or trying to we all have built in judgements rightfully or wrongly?

This is Just an observation and maybe food for thought?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

This is Just an observation and maybe food for thought?

"

Context is everything:


"

So, folks, its genuinely up to you all about how you want to treat your fellow swingers.

Note I said swingers, not hookers, gigolos, prostitutes or otherwise.

"

The point here is that this is a swingers community- we are here for fun not to judge or treat folks in the same shopping basket way as people do when they are spending money on something.

If you are a hooker in your professional life - all is well, just leave the request for money at the door and pick it up again when you leave as this is not the place for that.

If you are a “John”, again all is well, just don’t treat the place like a menu!

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I was one who posted on the other thread, the OP expected a reply to his messages and refused to accept that the fact that a reply wasn't obligatory.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Play nicely people, life really is too short

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By *oir_desireMan
over a year ago

London/Slough

The fact that most of us here are for nsa doesn’t mean we can forget we deal with real people with their emotions, thoughts and hopes. Whoever it takes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we all take a moment to admire the fact that someone still uses the word 'Jiggalo' in the year of our lord 2019?

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By *cd and scruffCouple
over a year ago

Rochester

But surely this site is a menu.

You look for what you like.

You message the people who interest you.

You hope for a reply.

Couples don't always get replies to their messages, I know we don't, but I do not complain about being mistreated or abused. That's life.

As for replying to messages, do you reply to every flyer that comes through your door for double glazing/House insurance/Indian takeaway? Or maybe every email you get for a bigger penis or your accident claim for the car crash you had? No you don't and it is the same here and it is unfortunate but again that's life.

Enjoy the site, use its facilities/menu and have fun but stop moaning about being unfairly treated it does you no favours.

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By *ennis4funCouple
over a year ago

belfast

Very interesting thread.

We tend to attract a lot of single guys purely due to the fact that we have a verification posted from a single guy.

Try to treat everyone with respect and try to reply to anyone who has read our profile and adhered to our stipulated guide, however so many guys respond to a "rejection" with a variation the following :

Thanks for the kind reply, can i ask why you don't feel we would get on......

Now, this is a totally reasonable response to a knock back but we feel that by responding to say, not her type or too far away should be a reasonable response to this response but invariably at least half of the replies would be so foul mouthed we wouldn't want to repeat them here.

We will try to keep our replies polite but the Lady is getting very frustrated and its starting to put us off the site altogether.

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By *DNKitty11Woman
over a year ago

London


"But surely this site is a menu.

You look for what you like.

You message the people who interest you.

You hope for a reply.

Couples don't always get replies to their messages, I know we don't, but I do not complain about being mistreated or abused. That's life.

As for replying to messages, do you reply to every flyer that comes through your door for double glazing/House insurance/Indian takeaway? Or maybe every email you get for a bigger penis or your accident claim for the car crash you had? No you don't and it is the same here and it is unfortunate but again that's life.

Enjoy the site, use its facilities/menu and have fun but stop moaning about being unfairly treated it does you no favours. "

Nailed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just a market place. Those rules apply

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