FabSwingers.com forum: Mad Fab: Beyond Covid-19

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now that the panic has well and truly set in, it's time I planted my flag;

I am not an especially moral nor decent man. I am neither talented, intelligent or attractive. My genitalia is a study in mediocrity.

I have no defining positive attributes.

What I do have though.... Is toilet roll.

Bales upon beautiful two ply bales of stuff. Some of it even stored in a fridge.

I will happily exhange this commodity for sexual favours, the more depraved the act, the more squares one can earn.

LET THE BIDDING WAR COMMENCE!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can have me anyway ya like for 6 pack of double tissue toilet roll

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You can have me anyway ya like for 6 pack of double tissue toilet roll

No dice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahh ffs...5 rolls then??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've loads of corona beer.

It's going really cheap for some reason lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahh ffs...5 rolls then??"

Sold.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I will flash half a boob and a bit of leg for a 6 pack. Don't need it yet tho so can you hold onto it for a bit until I run out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I will flash half a boob and a bit of leg for a 6 pack. Don't need it yet tho so can you hold onto it for a bit until I run out.

I will require some aereole as a deposit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I will flash half a boob and a bit of leg for a 6 pack. Don't need it yet tho so can you hold onto it for a bit until I run out.

I will require some aereole as a deposit.

You drive a hard bargain but in these desperate times I guess it's fair enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id have thought someone 10 posts in might have contradicted how terrible a person you are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Id have thought someone 10 posts in might have contradicted how terrible a person you are

We live in terrible times my friend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

Its Armageddon Goddamit!

A green hoop is a small price to pay

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

Its Armageddon Goddamit!

A green hoop is a small price to pay

Green or brown.... They all wind up the same colour in the end!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olm_irishMan
over a year ago

Clonee

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This gave me the best laugh of my whole day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olm_irishMan
over a year ago

Clonee

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

"Now that the panic has well and truly set in, it's time I planted my flag;

I am not an especially moral nor decent man. I am neither talented, intelligent or attractive. My genitalia is a study in mediocrity.

I have no defining positive attributes.

What I do have though.... Is toilet roll.

Bales upon beautiful two ply bales of stuff. Some of it even stored in a fridge.

I will happily exhange this commodity for sexual favours, the more depraved the act, the more squares one can earn.

LET THE BIDDING WAR COMMENCE!

Thanks OP!

I have brought my own with aloe vera extract as Smokey told me all gone in Cork

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

Its Armageddon Goddamit!

A green hoop is a small price to pay

If you were Spanish we could call you Grassy Ass

I'll get my coat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Kaizer ain't no comie!

The Manbeast is enlightening the people to use our planets natural resources

You are all most welcome (insert one finger emoji)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

Its Armageddon Goddamit!

A green hoop is a small price to pay

If you were Spanish we could call you Grassy Ass

I'll get my coat"

Did you discover the meaning of P yet?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ant111Man
over a year ago

Dublin 6

We're all atleti now..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Kaizer ain't no comie!

The Manbeast is enlightening the people to use our planets natural resources

You are all most welcome (insert one finger emoji)

I will beat your firm ass until super red, Kaizer! Ill find ya man! Wherever you are hidden!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Kaizer ain't no comie!

The Manbeast is enlightening the people to use our planets natural resources

You are all most welcome (insert one finger emoji)

I will beat your firm ass until super red, Kaizer! Ill find ya man! Wherever you are hidden!

Ooooh Kinkaaaay

Come looking, Kaizer ain't hard to find he's the most beautiful specimen on this godforsaken island

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herieWoman
over a year ago

The Burbs

Only if its kitten soft and made with real kittens!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Only if its kitten soft and made with real kittens!"

I personally skin all the kittens killed when a lady plays the little man in the canoe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

"Now that the panic has well and truly set in, it's time I planted my flag;

I am not an especially moral nor decent man. I am neither talented, intelligent or attractive. My genitalia is a study in mediocrity.

I have no defining positive attributes.

What I do have though.... Is toilet roll.

Bales upon beautiful two ply bales of stuff. Some of it even stored in a fridge.

I will happily exhange this commodity for sexual favours, the more depraved the act, the more squares one can earn.

LET THE BIDDING WAR COMMENCE!

Make it 3ply and I ll even take my dentures out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your the bull

Some might get the lines......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your the bull

Your the bull

Some might get the lines......"

You're *

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do I have to do for a role of Aloe Vera kittensoft?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do I have to do for a role of Aloe Vera kittensoft?

Something you definitely don't want to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do I have to do for a role of Aloe Vera kittensoft?

Something you definitely don't want to

Would it be worse than resorting to doc leaves?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mokey and the bandit 1Couple
over a year ago

Dublin

While everyone else was out panic buying toilet rolls and bread I was out buying more ammo so keep your supplies while you can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do I have to do for a role of Aloe Vera kittensoft?

Something you definitely don't want to

Would it be worse than resorting to doc leaves?

Almost definitely!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

you won't see it, just like fab bi close your eyes and it's grand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

They would leave an awful green mark tho after Kaizer

you won't see it, just like fab bi close your eyes and it's grand"

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Deal. Human female only though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Deal. Human female only though.

Ugh so fussy

puts on hazmat suit before venturing out. right who can lend me a few pubes so I can get loo roll

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Deal. Human female only though.

Ugh so fussy

puts on hazmat suit before venturing out. right who can lend me a few pubes so I can get loo roll

I have a few in my lab

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Deal. Human female only though.

Ugh so fussy

puts on hazmat suit before venturing out. right who can lend me a few pubes so I can get loo roll

I have a few in my lab

Ohhh can I get some and are they female.

Hold on you have a lab

Backs away from mad scientist

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Deal. Human female only though.

Ugh so fussy

puts on hazmat suit before venturing out. right who can lend me a few pubes so I can get loo roll

I have a few in my lab

Ohhh can I get some and are they female.

Hold on you have a lab

Backs away from mad scientist

I traded some handgel for them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Good point I'm going to go get me some doc leaves

Send me a pube and I'll pick them for ya

Well you're going to have to wait for them to grow.

Can I send someone else's instead

Deal. Human female only though.

Ugh so fussy

puts on hazmat suit before venturing out. right who can lend me a few pubes so I can get loo roll

I have a few in my lab

Ohhh can I get some and are they female.

Hold on you have a lab

Backs away from mad scientist

I traded some handgel for them

I've hand gel

Well lube but I'll mix it with some dettol it will be fine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've hand gel

Well lube but I'll mix it with some dettol it will be fine

Throw in some spit and we're cooking...

(though that would nullify the point of rhe sanitiser...

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahh ffs...5 rolls then??

Sold. "
Ahh fair play to ya. Im on me way up the M7 in a white van, Haz mat suit and baseball cap. Ya Cant miss me!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've hand gel

Well lube but I'll mix it with some dettol it will be fine

Throw in some spit and we're cooking...

(though that would nullify the point of rhe sanitiser...

) "

Back to hazmat suit so

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Kaizer ain't no comie!

The Manbeast is enlightening the people to use our planets natural resources

You are all most welcome (insert one finger emoji)

I will beat your firm ass until super red, Kaizer! Ill find ya man! Wherever you are hidden!

Ooooh Kinkaaaay

Come looking, Kaizer ain't hard to find he's the most beautiful specimen on this godforsaken island

If Ill be you Kaizer... Ill think a few times what Am wishing for, especially if you are dealing with Petite Rosy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have my fav aloe vera toilet paper bought today at the local shop. I do not need to worry for apocalypse.

And nope, I wouldn't exchange it. Any person in need will get a roll for free

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have my fav aloe vera toilet paper bought today at the local shop. I do not need to worry for apocalypse.

And nope, I wouldn't exchange it. Any person in need will get a roll for free

Gimme.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have my fav aloe vera toilet paper bought today at the local shop. I do not need to worry for apocalypse.

And nope, I wouldn't exchange it. Any person in need will get a roll for free

Gimme. "

You forgot your manners, you wouldnt get it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Kaizer ain't no comie!

The Manbeast is enlightening the people to use our planets natural resources

You are all most welcome (insert one finger emoji)

I will beat your firm ass until super red, Kaizer! Ill find ya man! Wherever you are hidden!

Ooooh Kinkaaaay

Come looking, Kaizer ain't hard to find he's the most beautiful specimen on this godforsaken island

If Ill be you Kaizer... Ill think a few times what Am wishing for, especially if you are dealing with Petite Rosy

Fuck it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kaizer has the answer to all your toilet paper prayers

Doc Leaves

Oooh ta K, I was about to offer to become op's bitch!! Lol

Kaizer you damned communist!!!

Kaizer if you are the c...st Im cutting the cord with you!

Kaizer ain't no comie!

The Manbeast is enlightening the people to use our planets natural resources

You are all most welcome (insert one finger emoji)

I will beat your firm ass until super red, Kaizer! Ill find ya man! Wherever you are hidden!

Ooooh Kinkaaaay

Come looking, Kaizer ain't hard to find he's the most beautiful specimen on this godforsaken island

If Ill be you Kaizer... Ill think a few times what Am wishing for, especially if you are dealing with Petite Rosy

Fuck it

Hahahaha i sent her the snip with your answer

Her reply to you: you will beg me to stop, Kaizer!

She is in West Cork now and soon will be here.

Hahahaha I wish to be there and watch!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread