FabSwingers.com forum: Virus jokes

By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

**Breaking News**

Due to the rise in panic buying, Aldi have announced that they’re in talks to possibly open Till Number 3

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to cough to cover my farts, now I fart to cover my coughs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I like my women like I like my Covid... 19 and easily spread!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

I'm waiting for all the inevitable references in future rap songs

Bitch, get over here, and get on your knees

You can spit, you can swallow, but you better not sneeze

I'ma give it to ya hard girl, I see that you're keen

I'ma leave you breathless, like COVID-19

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I'm waiting for all the inevitable references in future rap songs

Bitch, get over here, and get on your knees

You can spit, you can swallow, but you better not sneeze

I'ma give it to ya hard girl, I see that you're keen

I'ma leave you breathless, like COVID-19"

love it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

Great profile pic OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andydevineMan
over a year ago

sligo

"I like my women like I like my Covid... 19 and easily spread!

Brilliant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustjon1950Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

I have a 24 pack of Aldi toilet rolls

Looking to swap for a 3 bedroom house

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Germans are getting so worries they’ve started putting towels down on hospital beds

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Germans are getting so worries they’ve started putting towels down on hospital beds

I don't get this?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

***BREAKING NEWS***..... Reports suggest that Snow White has now only got 6 dwarves.....

Sneezy has been put into quarantine....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"The Germans are getting so worries they’ve started putting towels down on hospital beds

I don't get this? "

It's a play on the idea that German tourists always get out early and claim the best loungers by the pool by placing their towels on them, then feck off for breakfast.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Germans are getting so worries they’ve started putting towels down on hospital beds

I don't get this?

It's a play on the idea that German tourists always get out early and claim the best loungers by the pool by placing their towels on them, then feck off for breakfast. "

Fuck the Germans!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat less, use less toilet roll.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"***BREAKING NEWS***..... Reports suggest that Snow White has now only got 6 dwarves.....

Sneezy has been put into quarantine....

I like that lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting for all the inevitable references in future rap songs

Bitch, get over here, and get on your knees

You can spit, you can swallow, but you better not sneeze

I'ma give it to ya hard girl, I see that you're keen

I'ma leave you breathless, like COVID-19"

Make a video and send it please to me.

I knew you are talented

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"***BREAKING NEWS***..... Reports suggest that Snow White has now only got 6 dwarves.....

Sneezy has been put into quarantine....

That did actually make me laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like my women like I like my Covid... 19 and easily spread!

Oh my God

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop worrying about covid19, it was made in china so wont last long

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"I like my women like I like my Covid... 19 and easily spread!

Oh my God

Sorry about that! Kinda..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndrew1972Man
over a year ago

Roscrea

"I like my women like I like my Covid... 19 and easily spread!

Oh my God

Sorry about that! Kinda..

No you're not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndrew1972Man
over a year ago

Roscrea

Those who think Corona virus is bad obviously never had diarrhea after a bad pint of Guinness....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Liverpool 18 covid 19

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atherjackhackettMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

Some people are not shaking hands because of the virus but I'm not shaking hands because half the country have no toilet paper

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Cruise Deal* Buy 1 week, get 2 FREE! Promo Code - Corona

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"I like my women like I like my Covid... 19 and easily spread!

Oh my God

Sorry about that! Kinda..

No you're not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy and Mick were having a chat over the phone about the virus...

Paddy; its fucked everything up, all the GAA cancelled, soccer, rugby, it's a complete balls!

Mick; I think its fu*kin mighty, the wife doesnt want to go on holidays, she wont go shopping for fear she'll catch it, wont buy online coz everything is made in China and best of all she goes around all day and night with her mouth covered! Bliss!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

A little paper bag went to the doctor because he was feeling ill and was afraid he had the virus

The doctor have him the bad news and told him he had to trace any contacts so he could pass the info to the HSE

Did you go to the shops

No I'm just a little paper bag

Did you go to the pub

No I'm just a little paper bag

Did you go on a plane

No I'm just a little paper bag

Did you have any meets with swingers on fab

No I'm just a little paper bag

I'm stumped as to how you got it so....what have you been doing

I've just been in the house with my mammy

That's it so ....she must be a carrier

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

"Liverpool 18 covid 19"

There will be a banner of this in every Premier League ground when Liverpool are the visitors next season

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"Liverpool 18 covid 19

There will be a banner of this in every Premier League ground when Liverpool are the visitors next season

Why ...sure liverpool are going to offically win the league. I thought utd supporters dont count the 18 because it was before the league changed its name to the premier league

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

Hey OP your profile pic is all over WhatsApp, your famous

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It won't be a joke 9 months from now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anFromMarsMan
over a year ago

North

Back in the day, the only time we started panic buying was when the barman called last orders

I got in touch with my inner self today.....that's the last time I but toilet roll from Aldi

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

There's hope people.

Breaking News: Chuck Norris has been exposed to the virus. COVID-19 is now in 2 weeks self isolation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's hope people.

Breaking News: Chuck Norris has been exposed to the virus. COVID-19 is now in 2 weeks self isolation."

Lol... Covid-19 is dead now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"And fuck the chinkeys as well they started this

"The Chinkeys" I asked for jokes not racism

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

QUARANTINE DIARY

Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see out this pandemic.

....Day 1: I am in the supermarket because I wanted a Twix.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anFromMarsMan
over a year ago

North

Doing my weekly shop in Tesco this morning, I was horrified to find they had no toilet paper at all. Reluctantly I headed to the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm NO was the answer. Walking back to the toilet with my pants and trousers around my ankles was a walk of shame, not to mention the hell to pay when the wife notices my missing sock...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

A case of Covid-19 has been confirmed in a man in County Cavan.

The HSE says there's no cause for concern as they believe there's not the slightest chance of him giving it to anyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

As a result of recent panic buying, various supermarkets have implemented purchase limits..

Tesco... 2 kg pasta, 1 kg rice, 2 hand sanitisers and 24 toilet rolls.

Supervalu... 2 sliced pans, 12 toilet rolls and 5kg potatoes

Eurospar... 4 jars of curry sauce, 2kg rice, 9 toilet rolls and one hand sanitiser.

Lidl... Two trumpets, one diving suit and a MIG welder.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ehallMan
over a year ago

dublin 24

Friend of mine has drivin notthin but toyota he now has corolla virus

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ehallMan
over a year ago

dublin 24

So fuck the Germans is ok is it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

"Hey OP your profile pic is all over WhatsApp, your famous

Had it sent to me earlier from one of my mates

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rSlickMan
over a year ago

Dublin

What will babies conceived at this time be called after a year- the coronials

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New Nightingale Hospital in Glasgow to be called

ICU Jimmy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting for all the inevitable references in future rap songs

Bitch, get over here, and get on your knees

You can spit, you can swallow, but you better not sneeze

I'ma give it to ya hard girl, I see that you're keen

I'ma leave you breathless, like COVID-19"

Cant breath from laughing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread