FabSwingers.com forum: Homophobia

By *urvay OP Woman
over a year ago

A Town

Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?"

Block forever my dear

I'm bisexual as well and have zero tolerance for eejits.

Some people should have learnt manners from kids in pre-school

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By *urvay OP Woman
over a year ago

A Town

I’ve no tolerance for it at all! I wish the report feature actually worked though....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had homophobic messages/replies from both men and women over being bi-curious. So I really hope that report button works too

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By *urvay OP Woman
over a year ago

A Town

"I've had homophobic messages/replies from both men and women over being bi-curious. So I really hope that report button works too "

Well it did nothing when I reported that a guy was physically abusive to me at pride

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Some people are just small/narrow minded or brain washed. Just stuff they have had drilled into their own minds growing up or fears they harbour which have never been dealt with. Educate them and when education no longer works then distance them or block them.

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By *eltic CplCouple
over a year ago

Kildare

Whilst we have a preference not to meet bi men , we are far from homophobic , for us that's just a sexual preference, we have good friends in our town ( small Irish town) and we go out of our way to make them welcome in our local , so much so they now come in every week.

We go to a swing club in Barcelona which is owned by 2 gay men but they run a good club and we love it there.

So we get accused of being homophobic as we wont meet bi men but we are far from that , we do believe there is something here for everybody regardless of sexual preference , not everybody can like the same thing.

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By *olm_irishMan
over a year ago

Clonee

"Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?

Block forever my dear

I'm bisexual as well and have zero tolerance for eejits.

Some people should have learnt manners from kids in pre-school

This

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By *urvay OP Woman
over a year ago

A Town

Each to their own but this particular guy was very rude and disrespectful.

People seem to believe that bi and gay men are riddled with STDs which is just ridiculous to be honest!

Think I’ll just block in future and forget the educating part

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"Each to their own but this particular guy was very rude and disrespectful.

People seem to believe that bi and gay men are riddled with STDs which is just ridiculous to be honest!

Think I’ll just block in future and forget the educating part

"
No of course not but statistically they are much more likely to have a STI.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Homophobia is alive and well in ireland, and dont let anyone tell you differently, my block list grows daily from guys messaging to meet, and getting abusive when I refuse, I have had random messages of abuse, why someone takes time out to abuse someone is beyond my, but hey ho , such is the life we chose

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

There are more people on here into gay/bi stuff than not.

So much so "straight" for a single man has become a joke, as 99% of the time they are not.

Of course we can all focus on the negatives that the one person we wanted to be with, didnt want to cause of our sexuality, or we can just see there is something for everyone and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. Where to begin. Previously I have listened to it from 'straight' guys I have turned down.

Where I have worked, bi guys are treated like scum.

As for couples that don't play with I guys, I can play straight and control myself. Not all men are attractive to Me. Does that make sense? There's a bit of a stigma on here. Straight couples can look down on us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus Christ it's 2020 and ppl still get bothered about someone else's sexual orientation. They deserve to be blocked. What ever happened to minding you own bidnes

Mind yourself & keep smiling

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

Its a mind field especially on here, I tried previously to explain why straight couples are cautious, i got accused of being homophobic, i was only stating absolute facts and being honest,

Secondly, the absolute soundest, sexiest, coolest ride of a man on this site is bi-curious. That is also a fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People's sexual preferences are often misunderstood as judgement or phobias here sadly

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By *adrarfjordr VoyeurMan
over a year ago

Waterford

Strangely I've seen more anti bi sentiment than straight out homophobia on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Strangely I've seen more anti bi sentiment than straight out homophobia on this site"

But is it anti bi sentiment or just not their preference?

There's plenty of people on this site with preferences for every sexual orientation

If someone says no, or something negative, just move on

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By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

"Hmmm. Where to begin. Previously I have listened to it from 'straight' guys I have turned down.

Where I have worked, bi guys are treated like scum.

There are lots of bi sexual or bi curious couples on the South of Europe

Move your ass here!

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Genuinely believe that main root of homophobia is that straight men are afraid of other men treating them the same way they treat women.

Mrs

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By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

"Homophobia is alive and well in ireland, and dont let anyone tell you differently, my block list grows daily from guys messaging to meet, and getting abusive when I refuse, I have had random messages of abuse, why someone takes time out to abuse someone is beyond my, but hey ho , such is the life we chose "

Definitely only here! And we have XXI century

As a "swinger shark" I have noticed some cases in the UK, a bit in France but Ireland is number one on the list.

"Straight people" are scared of bi curious or bi sexual. Yes, there is higher risk for everybody to catch StI for God sake and being straight or bi have nothing with it. Its your ignorance and lack of respect to yourself, maybe stupidity too.

We all adults and should know that only regular checks are only way to avoid and spread the infections, especially having many sexual partners.

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

"Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?"

You did the right thing.

Block and continue enjoying Fab.

Most Fab people are open minded, though not 99% bicurious, as one poster said

We're just happy to live and let live and keep on smiling

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By *urvay OP Woman
over a year ago

A Town

""Straight people" are scared of bi curious or bi sexual. Yes, there is higher risk for everybody to catch StI for God sake and being straight or bi have nothing with it. Its your ignorance and lack of respect to yourself, maybe stupidity too.

We all adults and should know that only regular checks are only way to avoid and spread the infections, especially having many sexual partners. "

This

sexuality has nothing to do with it It’s ignorant to think otherwise. Young people 15-24 are the most likely in Ireland to have an STI then yes MSWM but this is all due to a lack of education and embarrassment of getting checked. Not because of their sexuality

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By *urvay OP Woman
over a year ago

A Town

Thanks I’ve had a few people message me privately because of this forum post so I’ve been using my block button generously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I think being bisexual is much more fun

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

[Removed by poster at 17/01/20 10:10:03]

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"Thanks I’ve had a few people message me privately because of this forum post so I’ve been using my block button generously

"
Just to be clear I was talking about a specific STI, Should have mentioned that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People's sexual preferences are often misunderstood as judgement or phobias here sadly"

This and it's very evident by many comments in this post aimed at straight guys. Demonstrates a how much judgement is wrongly levelled at single guys because of their preferences.

It would appear there's entitlement amongst some.

The amount of bi guys and this includes amongst couples that have contacted me asking demonstrates too the disrespect to preferences.

Maybe the bi community especially on fab showed more respect towards those with a non bi preference then it may go a long way to helping.

People get too defensive and personalise preferences and turn them into something they clearly are not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?"

Doesn't help when Sinn Fein councillors encourage homophobic (and racist) attitudes

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By *eltic CplCouple
over a year ago

Kildare

"People's sexual preferences are often misunderstood as judgement or phobias here sadly

This and it's very evident by many comments in this post aimed at straight guys. Demonstrates a how much judgement is wrongly levelled at single guys because of their preferences.

It would appear there's entitlement amongst some.

The amount of bi guys and this includes amongst couples that have contacted me asking demonstrates too the disrespect to preferences.

Maybe the bi community especially on fab showed more respect towards those with a non bi preference then it may go a long way to helping.

People get too defensive and personalise preferences and turn them into something they clearly are not."

At last an actual intelligent and educated post on this topic.

Hope people will actually read it properly before throwing the rattle out of the pram.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Doesn't help when Sinn Fein councillors encourage homophobic (and racist) attitudes"

Can't be a party wide policy, they are one of the biggest wishy washy hippy parties in my area.

They are almost violently in favour of migration where I am. Which is actually a problem for me cause there are not enough homes where I live and I know too many people sharing bedrooms cause they cant afford an apartment, nevermind a house.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

Im not homophobic but end up having to insult gay men who message me ..i dont want to block men because i dont mind talking to people but when i get offers of sick sex acts i nearly get sick..they must be extremely ignorant or just cant read im not sure which is it

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Im not homophobic but end up having to insult gay men who message me ..i dont want to block men because i dont mind talking to people but when i get offers of sick sex acts i nearly get sick..they must be extremely ignorant or just cant read im not sure which is it

Sadly this happens a lot. If you have your filters open to men they can hound you for sex, however it does die down after a while. Also it does not help that so many "straight" men will meet them, so some of them dont mean any harm by asking.

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"People's sexual preferences are often misunderstood as judgement or phobias here sadly

This and it's very evident by many comments in this post aimed at straight guys. Demonstrates a how much judgement is wrongly levelled at single guys because of their preferences.

It would appear there's entitlement amongst some.

The amount of bi guys and this includes amongst couples that have contacted me asking demonstrates too the disrespect to preferences.

Maybe the bi community especially on fab showed more respect towards those with a non bi preference then it may go a long way to helping.

People get too defensive and personalise preferences and turn them into something they clearly are not.

At last an actual intelligent and educated post on this topic.

Hope people will actually read it properly before throwing the rattle out of the pram."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same as most guys don't mean any harm by cut and paste messages, or reply to a lady who has just fabbed his pic, or even simply asking why they didn't like their profile or message. Most cases it's to improve and help move forward, not to cause trouble. Simple courtious polite asking and conversation.

Maybe so many 'straight' men meet them because they can't get women too. (Not implying it's true, just a possibility), or they're not straight but bi-curious or closet bi, neither being honest, which causes so many assumptions rightly or wrongly.

Then there's some couples or women who will only meet bi guys, so some pretend in order to get a meet.

My point is straight single guys get a bad rep but most of it I believe has little to do with them, but lies, misinformation bandished around and some made up because they offended someone because of a preference and personalised something said that didn't align with their own view point.

It's a skill to differ on a subject without taking it personal.

Anyway that's my take, like it or not doesn't matter to me.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?

Doesn't help when Sinn Fein councillors encourage homophobic (and racist) attitudes"

In fairness his comment about preferring to see a "family man" as Taoiseach could be more easily interpreted as a slur against childless men than against gay people but sure where's the gain in that.

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By *unshine05Man
over a year ago

Sherborne

I'm not homophobic I'm not afraid of my house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not homophobic I'm not afraid of my house"

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By *eltic CplCouple
over a year ago

Kildare

"I'm not homophobic I'm not afraid of my house

Just as well as its time for bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has come across homophobic people who have sent you messages?!

A guy messaged me and said some ridiculous things about bisexual men. I’m a bisexual woman and he earned himself a block!

Anyone else come across this? How do you deal with it?"

Yes just a few minutes ago some idiot posted a couple of homophobic comments on another thread. You know the sort of jokes that unfunny undereducated bigots use. Got himself reported but given its wanker o'clock I dont suppose it will be dealt with till the morning. Funny thing is he claims not to be homophobic.

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By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

Then there's some couples or women who will only meet bi guys, so some pretend in order to get a meet.

It's a skill to differ on a subject without taking it personal.

Anyway that's my take, like it or not doesn't matter to me."

Well said but if a bicurious or bisexual get abusive message?

It happened not only to me on this website.

Its everywhere.

People have preferences and as we all are adults we should respect them.

I completely understand straight men when they are sick of getting sexual propositions from bi or gay men.

There should be understanding and respect in both ways: no means no. Move on. And try to find another person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get them on occasions. I’m bi sexual but in context I’m very much into woman. But i appreciate people have preferences. And we need to respect that.

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