FabSwingers.com forum: How far ahead...

By *ro_boner_publico OP Man
over a year ago

North County

do couples here typically plan their meets?

As exciting as the idea may be, last minute meets seem super dodgy.

I'm a single guy (I like my freedom to roam

) and I generally plan my social life around work plans a couple of weeks in advance to do it right.

This fit well with the now defunct site where I got some experience years ago but fab seems to work at a much faster pace. Not a complaint; I just need to adjust.

Couples: Is this observation consistent with your behaviour?

Have people who stuck with the scene over the last 5 years noticed this too?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

"do couples here typically plan their meets?

As exciting as the idea may be, last minute meets seem super dodgy.

I'm a single guy (I like my freedom to roam

) and I generally plan my social life around work plans a couple of weeks in advance to do it right.

This fit well with the now defunct site where I got some experience years ago but fab seems to work at a much faster pace. Not a complaint; I just need to adjust.

Couples: Is this observation consistent with your behaviour?

Have people who stuck with the scene over the last 5 years noticed this too?"

We have no option but to plan our meets as we have children. Also we prefer to get to know our potential meet a bit and then have a social. I wouldnt do a last minute meet with someone i didnt know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually a couple of weeks in advance for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubcouple35Couple
over a year ago

North Dublin

We like to plan our meets in advance too . Meet for a drink first and all going well organise a play meet next .

We did 1 spur of the moment meet NEVER again lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single Mammy mines a few weeks in advance and I always schedule in a coffee or drinks social first. Pushy people are my pet hate so I only meet with people that understand I am a lone parent and have to schedule around my kids.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ro_boner_publico OP Man
over a year ago

North County

Oh, cool. Thanks for the feedback so far. I guess the update stream isn't representative of everyone!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

We prefer to plan ahead mostly but a spontaneous meet once in a while is pretty exciting also !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adrarfjordr VoyeurMan
over a year ago

Waterford

If anything most of the complaints I see here are people moaning how long it takes to set up a meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, cool. Thanks for the feedback so far. I guess the update stream isn't representative of everyone!"

Well I also get people who think I am something off the JustEat.ie menu for immediate delivery. No I won't be popping around at 9 to fuck your hubby

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If anything most of the complaints I see here are people moaning how long it takes to set up a meet"

Reverse psychology. Anyone pops head above the parapet is book marked

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single Mammy mines a few weeks in advance and I always schedule in a coffee or drinks social first. Pushy people are my pet hate so I only meet with people that understand I am a lone parent and have to schedule around my kids."

What she says.. Plus I like to know I'm worth a little effort of consistent chat and banter..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What she says.. Plus I like to know I'm worth a little effort of consistent chat and banter..

Noted

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What she says.. Plus I like to know I'm worth a little effort of consistent chat and banter..

Noted

You're in there like swimwear

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

What she says.. Plus I like to know I'm worth a little effort of consistent chat and banter..

Noted

You're in there like swimwear

He likes making notes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only add that for me it may take even up to a year to meet for a social

but no one complaint so far

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What she says.. Plus I like to know I'm worth a little effort of consistent chat and banter..

Noted

You're in there like swimwear

He likes making notes

Its good to be prepared B

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of weeks in advance for us, we have lives that don't involve hanging around just waiting for someone to suggest "meet now"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A meet now option means that the planned meet has cancelled. Only occasionally available these days so need to get stuff organised

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

If you work difficult hours such as a garda or barman i totally get it.

I am alway curious as to why a single lad doesn’t have time to meet at reasonable short notice if they have a 9-5 job.

I mean what are you doing in your spare time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

Couple of weeks for us too - work, college, kids all takes its toll.

We have gambled with random, last minute "see who's near" meets once or twice whilst staying away and it worked out quite well for us. That's when a deep dive on verifications is conducted though lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"Couple of weeks for us too - work, college, kids all takes its toll.

We have gambled with random, last minute "see who's near" meets once or twice whilst staying away and it worked out quite well for us. That's when a deep dive on verifications is conducted though lol

"
Or as Gemma calls them “Nuisances” as in the kids

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

"Couple of weeks for us too - work, college, kids all takes its toll.

We have gambled with random, last minute "see who's near" meets once or twice whilst staying away and it worked out quite well for us. That's when a deep dive on verifications is conducted though lol

Or as Gemma calls them “Nuisances” as in the kids

Yes, many a meet has been rescheduled due to nuisances lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you work difficult hours such as a garda or barman i totally get it.

I am alway curious as to why a single lad doesn’t have time to meet at reasonable short notice if they have a 9-5 job.

I mean what are you doing in your spare time"

Probably with the wife and kids.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

If a need and occasion arises it has to go quick but that's what regulars are for. And just to be clear by quick I mean arranging it and not the meet itself, the latter has to last, so has the guy I'm meeting

New meets need to be planned more carefully however I couldn't fix a date 5weeks ahead, my planning stretches normally max 2 weeks into the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"If you work difficult hours such as a garda or barman i totally get it.

I am alway curious as to why a single lad doesn’t have time to meet at reasonable short notice if they have a 9-5 job.

I mean what are you doing in your spare time

Probably with the wife and kids.

"
Spot on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ro_boner_publico OP Man
over a year ago

North County

I haven't worked shifts in years.

I much prefer project based work, which is often characterised by extended periods of intense exhausting work with insufficient sleep interspersed with relatively relaxed times of lots of sleep.

That, combined with a decent exercise schedule means I would not expect to perform to my standards at short notice.

By planning ahead, I can make sure my mind is well rested and not filled with maths and code and only do a bit of yoga or cardio so my body isn't exhausted.

If I am entrusted by a couple to guest in their sex lives, the least I can do is my very best.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am fed up with being asked to call now and if you can't call now you are a time waster.

Some people in here just think because they are a couple they can demand and you have to jump.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you work difficult hours such as a garda or barman i totally get it.

I am alway curious as to why a single lad doesn’t have time to meet at reasonable short notice if they have a 9-5 job.

I mean what are you doing in your spare time

Probably with the wife and kids.

Spot on

Or they also may have a life and responsibilities and terrible to say other interests.

It's comments like this that don't give true representation, but perpetuate the theory that all single guys who can't meet at drop of a hat for couples must be married.

For me it takes a few weeks to fit in a meet from time if arranging it with my interests, commitments, clubs, training or catching up with good friends etc etc. And just because I'm free a particular evening doesn't necessarily mean they are free the same time. And I'm self employed so technically could rearrange work, but that could be seen as unprofessional and might result in loss of said work too. For a weekend meet it could be a month or more as I use them for time with one of the kids.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you work difficult hours such as a garda or barman i totally get it.

I am alway curious as to why a single lad doesn’t have time to meet at reasonable short notice if they have a 9-5 job.

I mean what are you doing in your spare time"

People can do many things. Im a single mum. Kids away for a weekend but Ive decided to meet up with my female friends instead of having sex.

It is all about priorities. The most important thing is "don't judge" approach.

How much do we really know about the person we want to meet? If she or he is our FwB definitely lots has been shared with each other about private life: hobbies, responsibilities, interests, etc.

I have met a guy last year in San Francisco. He asked me for a last minute coffee and chat. I was free anyway and just pop in to cafeteria for a tea so said yes. When he appeared he said sorry for his outfit (he was clean and well shaved, nothing to be worry about) but he told me he has to take care about his sister and a 30 mins break and chat with me was kind of like winning in lotto for him.

People have their lives and their reasons why some can and some cannot meet asap.

Maybe that guy has to take care of an illness person or after hours works as a volunteer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

Dont be so naive, most of the lads on here just couldnt be bothered.

Unless they are gonna get the ride.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yeCandyDublinCouple
over a year ago

Lucan

"Dont be so naive, most of the lads on here just couldnt be bothered.

Unless they are gonna get the ride.

Ouch ...bit harsh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont be so naive, most of the lads on here just couldnt be bothered.

Unless they are gonna get the ride.

I aint naive. Im positive and have understanding that other people have more interests than sex

And it sounds bitter Mrs. We all have bad and good experiences here, me too but I still do not judge anyone because I have no idea whats going on.

You may be right saying one or another is married and thats the reason but it is a minority.

Stay positive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ro_boner_publico OP Man
over a year ago

North County

There may be a selection bias here, PeterGemma.

If you tend to expect guys to be available at short notice, a lot of them will either

a) be exceptionally lucky that everything worked out (Gemma is an extremely sexy woman) or

b) not have many responsibilities or be less concerned with preparation

While I haven't met any couples from fab yet (I plan on having more free time from next week), in my previous swinging life I would make sure to get a good night's sleep, not to drink coffee (which I usually guzzle) the day of a meet so that my breath would be fresh, not eat too much or too little to prepare for vigorous activity, prepare a change of clothes and hygiene kit to bring with me, make sure I'm stocked up on the my preferred brand of condoms etc.

It's a lot of little things but I believe this attention to detail matters.

That said, thanks to everyone who is contributing to this thread. It's been informative to me - if only in finding out who'd scheduling is compatible with mine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ro_boner_publico OP Man
over a year ago

North County

Oh, and have a wank that afternoon to take the edge off and so I can think straight. That's an important one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"Dont be so naive, most of the lads on here just couldnt be bothered.

Unless they are gonna get the ride.

Ouch ...bit harsh

Shut it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

"There may be a selection bias here, PeterGemma.

If you tend to expect guys to be available at short notice, a lot of them will either

a) be exceptionally lucky that everything worked out (Gemma is an extremely sexy woman) or

b) not have many responsibilities or be less concerned with preparation

It's a lot of little things but I believe this attention to detail matters.

That said, thanks to everyone who is contributing to this thread. It's been informative to me - if only in finding out who'd scheduling is compatible with mine

Not short notice though, its the lack of commitment, the vagueness. Completely understandable if a date doesnt suit. Does that make sense, if I didnt explain that before, my bad!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r_mrs_studmuffinCouple
over a year ago

narnia

It has to be a couple of weeks notice for us. As a married couple with kids and jobs its like a military operation to arrange and meet people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ro_boner_publico OP Man
over a year ago

North County

OK. Also sorry if I misunderstood.

Yeah that's completely reasonable.

I think we can all agree that an important part of this role is to be able to commit hard to a date, and there's very likely something shady happening if a guy won't do that.

The privilidge comes with responsibilities

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nowy007Woman
over a year ago

Near Enough

What she says.. Plus I like to know I'm worth a little effort of consistent chat and banter..

What both of the ladies say. Can't stand pushy people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes people change their minds last minute, something crops up. Could be something negative the others said on the forum about how unreliable single guys are that was a turn off.

Many reasons and we all tend to point the finger and blame others when we can't see the reason. It's life and it happens to every group on here. There's 50x as many single guys here so proportionally it'll reflect worse.

Women and couples are more likely to have plan A, B or "preferred" (if their suddenly free last minute) and guys get dropped quickly too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a couple of weeks due to work and family. last minute doesn't work for us as too many factors to consider it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both, some take a few weeks of chatting and planning. But we have also done spontaneous meets, always worked well for us so far, adds a bit of excitement

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"Oh, cool. Thanks for the feedback so far. I guess the update stream isn't representative of everyone!

Well I also get people who think I am something off the JustEat.ie menu for immediate delivery. No I won't be popping around at 9 to fuck your hubby

Do u do kebabs as well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, cool. Thanks for the feedback so far. I guess the update stream isn't representative of everyone!

Well I also get people who think I am something off the JustEat.ie menu for immediate delivery. No I won't be popping around at 9 to fuck your hubby

Do u do kebabs as well

Yes spit roasts followed by Sunday Roast

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

A week or so at least. We are mostly constrained by babysitting,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread