FabSwingers.com forum: Slapping

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is not a kink question but a way of getting some advice on how best to advise a colleague. She is ably 10 yrs younger than me and told me recently that she asked her long term partner for some time to herself recently as she had been going through a particularly stressful time at work and really just wanted a weekend to herself..... Nothing major. Just the bed to herself and the chance to chill out completely. So she asked him to move home for the weekend (he lives up country and was due a visit home soon anyway).

He then slapped her in the face.

I have given her my advice and told her my views on it but would love to see how everyone else feels.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

She calls to the local station reports it and gets him out.

If she needs help she gets her friends/brothers/his family to get him out.

The next time he might do more than slap her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really you're gonna post that here? Why not be a true friend and call the cops instead of posting something that isn't your business on a seingers site very shallow and very low you are.

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By *hris toperMan
over a year ago

roscommon sligo mayo

Those days are gone . Fuck him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Really you're gonna post that here? Why not be a true friend and call the cops instead of posting something that isn't your business on a seingers site very shallow and very low you are."

Really!!!

You are an ape. Yes I posted it here asking for advice. If you don't want to give advice then jog on. It isn't hurting anyone my posting it here...... So what concern is it of yours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her to move on from that scumbag and if she doesn't, well then you give her a slap for being an idiot.

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By *cerlass321Couple
over a year ago

kilkenny

first all the fact that he slapped her in the face says it all

get out now before its to late

the dark ages are long gone

everyone is entitled to their space for whatever reason

do herself a mighty favour and get out file a report

and above all

Stay Out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/11/19 21:31:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really you're gonna post that here? Why not be a true friend and call the cops instead of posting something that isn't your business on a seingers site very shallow and very low you are."

If its none of his business to post it on here, well then it's none of his business to call the Garda, by your logic. BTW who says "Cops" or did I accidentally click on the American forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She needs to get the fuck away from him ASAP. Sadly, that's not how domestic abuse works and the vast majority of victims take months or even years to walk away.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

so did she have a problem with the slap?

You dont say if she did or not, some girls like a slap. There are loads who wont date guys that wont slap them about. They think they are pussy modern men bitches.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Absolutely no excuse for hitting your partner under any circumstances. The guards need to be informed. It will get worse not better

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

Shes just one of them useless women that will become a battered housewife while telling everyone they dont know him like she does, cause he cries after smacking the shit out of her, and hugs her and holds her, and she will think the aftercare guy is the real him, that the the other guy isnt him.

After a while of that shit she will be broken and end up on fetish sites looking for guys online to smack her about because she wont be able to admit she was stupid in her head, and instead will keep the lie up, that it means he loves her that he did it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/11/19 22:53:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She needs to get out now!! It starts out as once and once only never to happen again but in his mind there will always be another reason to do it again,in his mind she stayed so she must have accepted his behaviour as being normal. As for you getting involved even though it wasnt by choice because she asked your advice inevitably if you say leave and she doesnt you will become the one who wanted them to split up all along,you become the villain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She needs to get out; call the Gardai -end of...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a kink question but a way of getting some advice on how best to advise a colleague. She is ably 10 yrs younger than me and told me recently that she asked her long term partner for some time to herself recently as she had been going through a particularly stressful time at work and really just wanted a weekend to herself..... Nothing major. Just the bed to herself and the chance to chill out completely. So she asked him to move home for the weekend (he lives up country and was due a visit home soon anyway).

He then slapped her in the face.

I have given her my advice and told her my views on it but would love to see how everyone else feels. "

Kick out him asap. Calling the police and report him.

It started from slap. What will be next?

I have allergy for these kinda guys and they need to work on their anger management. No one has rights to hurts anyone.

Arshole not a man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never an excuse to hit a lady no matter what

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice to her would be to confide in a family member so that even if she chooses to make excuses herself for his behaviour, someone close who cares about her is now aware of the incident.

As for you calling the Gardaí, OP, that would most likely be not just a waste of time, but actually counter-productive, she's already decided he "didn't mean it", and would most likely deny that it ever happened, being left with an angry partner who could well take it out on her,and placing you directly to blame if she admits you called them.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

None of us know the circumstances

and what exactly happened...

But no, it's not acceptable to slap your partner

across the face. If he did it once (and it was allowed)

he'll most likely do it again. Factor in alcohol and a heated argument and it might be worse the next time around...

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

Holy Fuck!

Talk about trying to get a reaction!

If that's what you truly believe and is your attitude to people in similar situations, without offering a hand of friendship and compassion, I feel really sorry for you.

You've obviously a hardened heart from something in your past and don't understand the concept of compassion and the human soul.

Be well in whatever you do but I genuinely think that this post will completely kill your Fab life, for anyone who reads it.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Talk about trying to get a reaction!

If that's what you truly believe and is your attitude to people in similar situations, without offering a hand of friendship and compassion, I feel really sorry for you.

You've obviously a hardened heart from something in your past and don't understand the concept of compassion and the human soul.

Be well in whatever you do but I genuinely think that this post will completely kill your Fab life, for anyone who reads it."

It's just the truth.

When she is ready to get rid of them for good, when she has ran out of excuses for him, she will search out someone like me who gave her the cold truth at the start.

While they are with the guy, making excuses, other people can give them emotional support and compassion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP There's no point stepping in, if she took it once and goes back, there's nothing you can say to change her mind. Calling the Garda is waste of time,because she'll downplay it. My sister got her jaw broken by her fella, she was back with him straight away, and years went on she got more beatings, Garda called, barring orders given out but always ended up back together, and through all that time,family and friends were telling her to get away, those peoples words had no effect, it was only when she truly seen the light that she could walk away, and I know another two cases similar to that story. Men who hit women are bitches, bullies and there's fuck all excuse for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all for going the legal way but usually in these situations not much will happen and he will continue to attempt to manipulate and abuse her for his benefit and to ruin her life. Jealous angry men are dangerous so yes I would report it but also the low life himself might need a visit off a man or two that will teach him how to respect a woman if you get me.

I wouldn't tolerate any man hitting a female nor should a female be allowed to hit a man. If your colleague is afraid to report it then you should yourself.Also if your intimidating enough I d approach the man not on her behalf but in general let him know what he does to her he gets ten fold back.

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By *ublinGirl92Woman
over a year ago

Hell

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

Why do you write things like this? Are you just looking for reactions or is this actually how you think?

You have no consideration for how your words impact other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

Why do you write things like this? Are you just looking for reactions or is this actually how you think?

You have no consideration for how your words impact other people.

I'm pretty sure he's just looking for a response, if you don't respond you cut oxygen from the fire.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Why do you write things like this? Are you just looking for reactions or is this actually how you think?

You have no consideration for how your words impact other people.

Disagree, my words will help someone reading this thread more than any other persons words.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"I'm pretty sure he's just looking for a response, if you don't respond you cut oxygen from the fire. "

Your advice is the same as mine? you said that once she makes excuses there is nothing the op can do and he should forget about it.

So are you just saying stuff for a reaction too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm pretty sure he's just looking for a response, if you don't respond you cut oxygen from the fire.

Your advice is the same as mine? you said that once she makes excuses there is nothing the op can do and he should forget about it.

So are you just saying stuff for a reaction too?"

No my bad, I just read your last paragraph saying she'll end up on fetish sites, that's bull, the rest you where pretty bang on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The usual bull from the experts on the forums given advice when they don't even know the facts.jumping to conclusions because some random person says another random person got a slap.Some people here would have this random guy hanged drawn and quartered without having a clue what happened.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

[Removed by poster at 16/11/19 08:03:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

Holy Fuck!

Talk about trying to get a reaction!

If that's what you truly believe and is your attitude to people in similar situations, without offering a hand of friendship and compassion, I feel really sorry for you.

You've obviously a hardened heart from something in your past and don't understand the concept of compassion and the human soul.

Be well in whatever you do but I genuinely think that this post will completely kill your Fab life, for anyone who reads it."

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Is it ok to hit your partner - no.

Yet I don't feel I could take a stance or give advice on the little info given. This doesn't mean I condone that he slapped her.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

"Really you're gonna post that here? Why not be a true friend and call the cops instead of posting something that isn't your business on a seingers site very shallow and very low you are."

So posting it here is none of his business, but calling the cops is?

Are you not contradicting yourself there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/19 13:24:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any person who raises a hand against their partner is scum.

OP you are in a tricky position there , I had a similar experience before with a friend. Just a suggestion but Google - wikihow , and search for understanding domestic violence. It's a hard article to read. But understanding a problem fully is the first step in coming up with a solution.

Feel free to PM if you have any questions.

Hopefully she sees sence and prints him off a P45

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Just as a thought- let's say they're 10 years together (op said longterm partner) and there was never a hint of such incident before - how would you judge the situation then?

Now again I'm not saying it makes it right, all I'm saying there's not enough context.

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By *ifeisforliving2016Man
over a year ago

waterford

I was mentally & physically abused by my ex-wife ,I left it go on for years,living with it,I hid it from my kids when they were young & from family. I started as just verbal but escalated as the years went by . I'm 6'2 & physically strong,I have played hurling all my life but never did I feel the pain on a field like I felt at home ! I thought in the early days ,it was all my fault, not doing enough etc ..... it's all in the past now,my now grown up kids ,have huge admiration for me ,as they knew as they got older what she was like.

If anyone wants to talk ,I don't know if I can sort out your problems but I'll listen & talk to you,there is a way out !

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If anyone wants to talk ,I don't know if I can sort out your problems but I'll listen & talk to you,there is a way out !

Well done on getting out. Domestic violence doesn't just happen to women. You can see even from this thread alone that people see it as black and white. It usually doesn't start with violence it usually starts with mental abuse then gets violent. It's not that easy to leave as some make out and it certainly doesn't make you useless or stupid like some have said.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

I'm really glad you got out and that you can live the life you should have been living. Hopefully your story can help someone else. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She didn't like the slap. She also sends to be defending him now too - said that he won't do it again as he got more of a fright than she did!!

Dont talk to her again about it, just leave her to being slapped about. She will turn on you if you keep up about it, call you jealous.

he's looking for a reaction. it's not the only place he does it.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"wtf is wrong with you.. Donestic violence and bdsm are utterly separate "

The only difference is consent, and in the original post they did not say if she consented to it or not.

I could write a post saying my friend asked me for advice, her fuck buddy put out a cigarette on her and whipped her black and blue with electrical cord while spitting on her, and its only not domestic abuse because she consented.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

This type of subject is not allowed on the forum for the reasons set out in the rules

https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules

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