FabSwingers.com forum: Prep work!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the difference in wardrobe standards would imply a difference in other standards and chemistry down the line... probably best to 'call out' from the offset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie

underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

Well men are men so not great at reading between the lines and didn’t realise this person was actually going to turn up all dressed to the nines as spoken which I also really love by the way

You actually need to tell men you are actually following through on the sexy thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone doesn't make some basic effort to impress for a coffee meet it tells me exactly the kind of effort they'll make in the bedroom

I'd always pick a suit or shirt that i feel is somewhat special and gives me my best chance to impress...

In that situation, i wouldnt call someone out on it...(different people have different standards).... i'd simply steer clear thereafter

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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

Had a similar situation last year...kinda.

Arranged to meet a guy for a drink at a hotel. We don't get out too often so went to the effort....hair, makeup, nice dress, nice underwear just in case

He rocked up in a tshirt, off-white, stained slazenger shorts and flip flops.

We politely had 1 drink and left.

We sometimes regret not calling him out on it

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

I'd like to think I can pick up on hints so if a fondness for a certain outfit was expressed to me I would wear it for a meet.

Well.....within reason. I wouldn't be rocking up dressed as a cowboy or anything.

I'd bring that in a bag to change into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a similar situation last year...kinda.

Arranged to meet a guy for a drink at a hotel. We don't get out too often so went to the effort....hair, makeup, nice dress, nice underwear just in case

He rocked up in a tshirt, off-white, stained slazenger shorts and flip flops.

We politely had 1 drink and left.

We sometimes regret not calling him out on it"

That’s absolutely disgraceful turning up to a meet like that

I’m a guy and I’d go all out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Training gear is for training. Period!

The only exception is when it's old, and you're gardening or painting the living room.

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By *Sparkie.Man
over a year ago

Ratoath

Fail to prepare....prepare to fail.

If it's been spoken about and a lady told me she liked men wearing garden gnomes outfits, I'd have turned up to Coffee with the White Face Paint and Rosey Red cheeks and one of those silly hats to boot.

I think you get out of this what you put into it, like most things, so unless he was working in the Gym around the corner and was meeting her on his lunch as explained that in advance its be a red card from me.

Dress to impress I say, and if they cant manage that it's unlikely they'll impress in other areas

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie

underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

Well men are men so not great at reading between the lines and didn’t realise this person was actually going to turn up all dressed to the nines as spoken which I also really love by the way

You actually need to tell men you are actually following through on the sexy thoughts "

Personally I’m not one to beat around the bush, I’m very direct and forthcoming with wants or desires. So if he’s been told of my likes and expects his met then surly he should get the finger out.

Men aren’t that naive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wanna hear more horror stories?

I presume smart casual should be a minumim for any meet, treat it as a date or interview, would you show up for a date or interview in shorts or tracksuit bottoms?

First impressions are everything, gotta take yourself seriously for others to take you seriously

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

Putting preferences aside, shouldn't it be a given that people make an effort with appearance and hygiene when going on a first meet! Lack of effort equates to a lack of respect as far as I am concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Putting preferences aside, shouldn't it be a given that people make an effort with appearance and hygiene when going on a first meet! Lack of effort equates to a lack of respect as far as I am concerned"

You've hit the nail on the head Madam

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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago

Waterford City

Couldn’t agree more. I don’t expect people to go all out for a coffee meet but at least make a little effort to look smart casual even. How would they like it if we showed up in tracksuit bottoms, a T-shirt and no make up. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s much to expect that someone doesn’t turn up in a trackie u less it’s a fantasy that some have (dreaded grey cotton bottoms)

But I know you and you’re definitely very explicit about what you like and for him to half ass it says a lot I would Deffo have called him on it and left politely after one drink/coffee and told him as much why I was leaving

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I had a guy turn up in a pair of old shorts flip flops and an old t-shirt all of which I may have overlooked (well probably not) but he absolutely stank of sweat as well. Yet he had tried to tell me what I should wear.

To be fair most guys I have met have looked well and smelt well. I don't mind guys turning up in jeans etc I certainly wouldn't expect someone to be wearing suit etc just to meet me. But clean and not stinking is something I do expect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a T-shirt and no make up. Lol"

Some T-shirts, tracksuit bottoms and trainers are worth more than a cheap dress, pair of knickers and hold-ups from Primark to be fair..... it appears to me that everyone has imagined the presumed Male in a Slazenger kit but maybe it was a designer Gucci get up?..... just putting that out there :p

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By *reddieRaeCouple
over a year ago

Banbridge

Yeah... I only ever leave the house in tracksuit stuff when I'm going to the gym!

Spend all week at work in a suit, so don't feel comfortable in less than a shirt at least for a social ocassion...

But maybe he felt he wasn't putting pressure, or expectation on the situation....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a guy turn up in a pair of old shorts flip flops and an old t-shirt all of which I may have overlooked (well probably not) but he absolutely stank of sweat as well. Yet he had tried to tell me what I should wear.

Kind of find your name being Justbo and your comment of him smelling of sweat a little funny

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Kind of find your name being Justbo and your comment of him smelling of sweat a little funny

Oh god now you make me want to change my name lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of find your name being Justbo and your comment of him smelling of sweat a little funny

Oh god now you make me want to change my name lol

I bet she’s just sniffed under her arms!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s much to expect that someone doesn’t turn up in a trackie u less it’s a fantasy that some have (dreaded grey cotton bottoms)

Subtlety is not my forte!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

I am always dressed to nines even for a coffee meet. First Fab meet I looked amazing black pencil skirt sexy blouse beautiful lingerie and fuck me heels. He rocked up in surfer shorts craggy old shirt and flip flops. He was sent packing after a brief coffee

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Kind of find your name being Justbo and your comment of him smelling of sweat a little funny

Oh god now you make me want to change my name lol

I bet she’s just sniffed under her arms!!!

Lol no I did not I know I don't smell

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By *ynchsimonMan
over a year ago

North county Dublin Meath

You should have walked away immediately!!! If no effort on your first meeting what direction was it going?

Out of pure respect (putting fantasies aside) both parties should make a good effort to look smart, fresh and well presented!!!

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By *ustyboyMan
over a year ago

Greater Dublin & Belfast now onwards

I would definitely go properly dressed up except Cillian Murphy’s hat from Peaky Blinders . ????

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By *aptorman160Man
over a year ago

navan

Ok. Well not a fan of that look. My self. But here’s the point we all have lives outside of here and this is just for that extra bit of fun very discreetly. Now if a person. Man woman r couple is good enough to give you there time. If only for a nsa quickie. That person deserves ur full attention and respect. And all parties should make efforts. I for one if meeting a woman r couple make every effort to look my best and also do my very best for the ppl I meet.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I experienced both the tracksuit and the flip flop short trousers tshirt man and me in dress and stockings etc, both first meets but in private settings. Both were/are excellent meets and repeated over and over. As long as they're freshly showered, I don't mind, it's just clothes and the advantage of those clothes they come off quickly.

However I understand if discussed and meeting in public you might expect that they make some sort of effort unless it's 30degrees in the shadow.

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By *hysoserious2012Man
over a year ago

meath louth border

I'd like to think everyone puts in an effort. Basic jeans and nice t-shirt jacket jumper etc washed smelling nice hair done. The suited and booted fantasy if yous chatted before hand absolutely he should of went through with it or you call him out on it.

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By *reland8Man
over a year ago

sandyford

"Training gear is for training. Period!

The only exception is when it's old, and you're gardening or painting the living room. "

Training or just lounging around the house! I totally agree! Tells you something about the person if that’s how they dress for a meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you have to make an effort when you're meeting for the first time?

..Depending on the surroundings of course,but first impressions and all that!...I want a woman to look at what I'm wearing and have to restrain herself from ripping my clothes off on the spot!

..(well I can dream can't I?

)

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By *avidc2019Man
over a year ago

dublin

I really can’t believe this still happens I mean if you have asked the woman to dress up and wear lingerie surely to FOOK you are going to show you looking sharp and smelling good this is basic stuff even for a coffee meet surely

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By *Sparkie.Man
over a year ago

Ratoath

It's a kin to a job interview.

You would think a person would make an effort.

Also single guys outnumber females at least 20/1 so I'd be trying to hold onto the lead I built up on the other guys and not come out after half time having tied my boots together in the dressing room and falling flat on my face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would very much depend on where the meet was, pub or restaurant you would expect a nice jean's and shirt.A suit would be a bit over dressed but that's me personally. If in my/their home, a tracksuit bottoms/ Tshirt or short's would not bother me once they were clean /showered and smelling nice etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie

underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

Well men are men so not great at reading between the lines and didn’t realise this person was actually going to turn up all dressed to the nines as spoken which I also really love by the way

You actually need to tell men you are actually following through on the sexy thoughts "

Men are men is a reason for turning up to meet someone you want to impress in tracksuit and a hoodie?

She doesn't need to tell 'men' that, but apparently she may need to tell you that.

Men are men, yes, but some men are very different to other men.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"Training gear is for training. Period!

The only exception is when it's old, and you're gardening or painting the living room. "

U do believe in getting the best out of meet dont you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should have walked away immediately!!! If no effort on your first meeting what direction was it going?

Out of pure respect (putting fantasies aside) both parties should make a good effort to look smart, fresh and well presented!!!"

Agree, it’s only showing respect to have made an effort,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was in that situation I'd immediately be turned off. Not because I don't like tracksuits (a man in a nice pair of sweatpants can be very sexy) but because I want to know that when we're chatting, he's taking notes, keen to impress me, paying attention to the details. Because I am. If he can't remember I said I like suits, how is he gonna remember I like having fingers in my mouth or whatever else I mentioned? Those small subtle details are what takes sex from a 6/10 to a 10/10 so if I get a vibe that he's just gonna think sticking his dick in me is enough... Hard pass.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

If he agreed to making the effort, dressing up sharp and then reneged,

you should 100% call him out on it

However, if you talked about a fantasy that you desired to be fulfilled,

he simply might not have taken the hint

(..."I know, men sure they never listen Nuala"

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless it was a Gucci velour tracksuit then call him out. And tell him to nip down the fancy dress shop. I’m sure they will have a peaky blinders get up. If not chimney sweep is close enough right?

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Am wondering if this is a

hypothetical "he" and "she" Op

...or did this happen?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Am wondering if this is a

hypothetical "he" and "she" Op

...or did this happen?

Well now wouldn’t you like to know! Lol

But be under no illusion that in a case such as this I’d say my piece and make my exit as I leave no man in any doubt about what I or they can expect from a meet, social or otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

If he couldn't make an effort to look good for a first meet then for me it would be a no no ..

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By *ysteryman2009Man
over a year ago

Ireland

"Training gear is for training. Period!

The only exception is when it's old, and you're gardening or painting the living room. "

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By *an For YouMan
over a year ago

belfast/holywood

Yeah it happened to me . I am always immaculate , squeaky clean, fresh, smelling divine but I have met women with greasy hair , slippers, baggy clothes, looking like a bag of shite ( in their house), and no , I couldnt fuck them - made my excuses and left

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

[Removed by poster at 06/11/19 22:53:39]

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Am wondering if this is a

hypothetical "he" and "she" Op

...or did this happen?

Well now wouldn’t you like to know! Lol

But be under no illusion that in a case such as this I’d say my piece and make my exit as I leave no man in any doubt about what I or they can expect from a meet, social or otherwise

. "

-----------------

Well, would actually love to know!

Seriously though...

SOME MEN

here need to be told with venn diagrams,

pictures, hints, reminders and repetition for 6 months

to realise that it's not just the poetic utterance of a woman engaged and longing to stay within the internal confines of a classy fantasy

...then there's lads that are just thick

and won't get it

...or those who are just too fecking lazy

to stick on a suit

So, I guess that leaves you with about 2 or 3 Fabbers

who'll make that fantasy become reality!

So best click those heels Dorothy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Expressing a fondness is very different from an actual statement of what you are agreeing to. If I'm going to facilitate dress-up fantasies, I directly ask the guy what he might like, I don't expect a man to be anything other than clean and socially presentable. Clarity is always good in my book. As for dolling myself up for a social meet, eh, no thanks.

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By *iwh01Man
over a year ago

mullingar

If I was you I would have left and told him the reason why

I would always make an effort. Except once on old profile I was chatting a lady and we were in contact by whatapp. Told her I was at Diy and in snickers trousers and she told me to come meet her straight away as I was.

"Had a similar situation last year...kinda.

Arranged to meet a guy for a drink at a hotel. We don't get out too often so went to the effort....hair, makeup, nice dress, nice underwear just in case

He rocked up in a tshirt, off-white, stained slazenger shorts and flip flops.

We politely had 1 drink and left.

We sometimes regret not calling him out on it"

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I see updates looking for people looking to meet "Scumbag trackie lads".

That tells you all you need to know about a guy who turns up without even putting on a pair of trousers or jeans.

There is a double standard though, if a girl wants to meet me in yoga pants, I am very happy for that to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Picture the situation.. woman and man start chatting and things are going very well. Great sexual chemistry and general great banter.

A meet is organised. He has expressed his fondness of lingerie, heels with a nice dress and she has expressed an fondness of a sharply dressed man, think Peaky Blinders.

So meet day arrives and she turns up in a nice dress, heels, some very nice lingerie underneath cos ya never know where things could lead, hair, make up, nails etc all looking well.

He walks in wearing tracksuit trousers and a hoodie!!

So question is.. do you be polite or call him out on it?

End of the day this is all a fantasy for all of us so why should one party put in the effort if others don’t?!

Footnote.. I’m definitely not painting all guys with the same brush here. I’m sure it happens in reverse also.

Out the door straight away ...not a hope if I'd made a huge effort would l accept anything less... if you had met all the requirements of his " fondness for " and he turned up in a track suit and hoodie ...not a hope should he get within a mile of you ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would have thought the form of the meet be arranged in advance, its the only way to get a fantasy completed. Lets face it, without that as soon as (or if) the clothes are off we lads tend to lose blood supply to the memory.

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