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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? " You and a riding crop to my room  | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? " you and everything on the menu | |||
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"The first thing I'd order is an increase on my credit card before I call roomservice" Good evening sir this is SDR from guest relations here I can see that you are a return customer to the Fab hotel, I have extended your credit limit and recommended you for our loyalty scheme. Enjoy your stay and I do hope our room service menu meets with your requirements | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? You and a riding crop to my room "Good evening Sir I can see from your guest profile that you purchased this item from the menu on your previous stay. We here at the fab hotel recommend a varied diet. Perhaps try something new this stay, all feedback is greatly appreciated, we are always looking for ideas to help improve our menu Enjoy your stay | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? you and everything on the menu" Could I interest you in a side of fries also? | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? You and a riding crop to my room
Good evening Sir
I can see from your guest profile that you purchased this item from the menu on your previous stay. We here at the fab hotel recommend a varied diet. Perhaps try something new this stay, all feedback is greatly appreciated, we are always looking for ideas to help improve our menu
Enjoy your stay" cheeky | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? " World peace  | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? World peace "I’m afraid Mr Thunderkiss we have run out of that dish this evening. I have brought it to the attention of management and we will endeavour to have it on the menu on your next stay with us. Could I interest you in anything else this evening? all of our produce is locally sourced | |||
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"I think before ordering anything naughty I'd start with a meal, for a balanced varied diet of course Something hot & spicy to start, perhaps the wings, I love birds, followed by something steamy, maybe muscles, i would have to think carefully about the desert then" We do have a particularly tempting Coq au Vin on special this evening. For dessert I would highly recommend the Strawberries and cream, handpicked locally and the cream is whipped to stiff peaks Delectable! | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? World peace
I’m afraid Mr Thunderkiss we have run out of that dish this evening. I have brought it to the attention of management and we will endeavour to have it on the menu on your next stay with us.
Could I interest you in anything else this evening? all of our produce is locally sourced "World peace can wait! Any chance of some hot sex and a gallon of cold beer? Maybe some roasted nuts | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? World peace
I’m afraid Mr Thunderkiss we have run out of that dish this evening. I have brought it to the attention of management and we will endeavour to have it on the menu on your next stay with us.
Could I interest you in anything else this evening? all of our produce is locally sourced
World peace can wait!
Any chance of some hot sex and a gallon of cold beer?
Maybe some roasted nuts "Certainly sir I have set up a portable bar outside your room with a chilled keg attached it to. You’ll find the unit is on wheels and can be easily moved to inside your room for ease of service. I have sent up a guest relations employee to assist you in your Hot Sex request. I hope you will find her most enjoyable she is only with the company six weeks but seems very eager to please. Enjoy your stay and should you require anything else please do not hesitate to contact me  | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? World peace
I’m afraid Mr Thunderkiss we have run out of that dish this evening. I have brought it to the attention of management and we will endeavour to have it on the menu on your next stay with us.
Could I interest you in anything else this evening? all of our produce is locally sourced
World peace can wait!
Any chance of some hot sex and a gallon of cold beer?
Maybe some roasted nuts
Certainly sir
I have set up a portable bar outside your room with a chilled keg attached it to. You’ll find the unit is on wheels and can be easily moved to inside your room for ease of service.
I have sent up a guest relations employee to assist you in your Hot Sex request. I hope you will find her most enjoyable she is only with the company six weeks but seems very eager to please.
Enjoy your stay and should you require anything else please do not hesitate to contact me "This is a fantastic establishment. Kaizer shall give you an exceptional write-up on Trip Advisor | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? " A lady called ....megently  | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? A lady called ....megently "Thank you for your order sir, we are experiencing a high volume of requests within our room service department currently. Your order should be with you within the next 30-40mins. In the mean time I have sent up some drinks and nibbles to your room while you wait | |||
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"I think before ordering anything naughty I'd start with a meal, for a balanced varied diet of course Something hot & spicy to start, perhaps the wings, I love birds, followed by something steamy, maybe muscles, i would have to think carefully about the desert then We do have a particularly tempting Coq au Vin on special this evening. For dessert I would highly recommend the Strawberries and cream, handpicked locally and the cream is whipped to stiff peaks Delectable! " On what might this be served on? | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? A lady called ....megently
Thank you for your order sir, we are experiencing a high volume of requests within our room service department currently. Your order should be with you within the next 30-40mins.
In the mean time I have sent up some drinks and nibbles to your room while you wait "mmm thank you kind lady,I will await your beautiful presence. | |||
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"I think before ordering anything naughty I'd start with a meal, for a balanced varied diet of course Something hot & spicy to start, perhaps the wings, I love birds, followed by something steamy, maybe muscles, i would have to think carefully about the desert then We do have a particularly tempting Coq au Vin on special this evening. For dessert I would highly recommend the Strawberries and cream, handpicked locally and the cream is whipped to stiff peaks Delectable! On what might this be served on?" Sir it is served in our signature Vilroy and Boch crockery however if I may assume you were asking about who it will be served by? The answer would be Greta she is an exchange student from Sweden who is currently studying the intricacies of intimate massage. I do believe you will find her most enjoyable If you incur and issues please do not hesitate to contact me directly | |||
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"A main course of you... followed by a sweet dessert... You again.. And a side order of sexy you please xx" I’m afraid due to the unexpected high level of demand I’m forced to outsource my services this evening. Would you accept a replacement dish and we will put you in for a complimentary upgrade on your next stay? | |||
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"Hello, Reception? Hi, I'll be staying overnight and would very much like to sample a MMF dish if I may. I've heard the choices are many and that sampling come highly recommended. Can you cater? " Thank you for your enquiry. At this late stage I only have an F available I am currently looking for a suitable M. Perhaps one of our many barmen? If you would like to pop into our bar upon arrival and take a look at our selection I’m sure we can find someone that will meet your tastes. Our barmen have a wide range of skills and can please even the most discerning guest. | |||
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"Ice cream " Certainly sir! Might i suggest some chocolate sauce and sprinkles to accompany the ice cream! | |||
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"Hello, Reception? Hi, I'll be staying overnight and would very much like to sample a MMF dish if I may. I've heard the choices are many and that sampling come highly recommended. Can you cater? Thank you for your enquiry. At this late stage I only have an F available I am currently looking for a suitable M. Perhaps one of our many barmen? If you would like to pop into our bar upon arrival and take a look at our selection I’m sure we can find someone that will meet your tastes. Our barmen have a wide range of skills and can please even the most discerning guest." Please have your F select whoever she desires and I'll gladly sample | |||
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"Hello, Reception? Hi, I'll be staying overnight and would very much like to sample a MMF dish if I may. I've heard the choices are many and that sampling come highly recommended. Can you cater? Thank you for your enquiry. At this late stage I only have an F available I am currently looking for a suitable M. Perhaps one of our many barmen? If you would like to pop into our bar upon arrival and take a look at our selection I’m sure we can find someone that will meet your tastes. Our barmen have a wide range of skills and can please even the most discerning guest. Please have your F select whoever she desires and I'll gladly sample " Certainly sir, have you an estimated time of arrival so I can have your order ready for you? | |||
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""Room service?" "Room service?"  "Mr Thunderkiss if you could keep it down please , we have received a number of noise complaints regarding your room. | |||
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""Room service?" "Room service?"
Mr Thunderkiss if you could keep it down please , we have received a number of noise complaints regarding your room. "That's because Kaizer has just walked into a war zone! What star is this hotel? There are a number of issues  | |||
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""Room service?" "Room service?"
Mr Thunderkiss if you could keep it down please , we have received a number of noise complaints regarding your room.
That's because Kaizer has just walked into a war zone!
What star is this hotel?
There are a number of issues "A war zone? I assure you Mr Thunderkiss this hotel does not resemble a war zone in any way shape or form. We are a reputable establishment! What seems to be the issue? | |||
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"Hello, Reception? Hi, I'll be staying overnight and would very much like to sample a MMF dish if I may. I've heard the choices are many and that sampling come highly recommended. Can you cater? Thank you for your enquiry. At this late stage I only have an F available I am currently looking for a suitable M. Perhaps one of our many barmen? If you would like to pop into our bar upon arrival and take a look at our selection I’m sure we can find someone that will meet your tastes. Our barmen have a wide range of skills and can please even the most discerning guest. Please have your F select whoever she desires and I'll gladly sample Certainly sir, have you an estimated time of arrival so I can have your order ready for you?" Thank you. Eta 9am, same day check out 5pm | |||
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""Room service?" "Room service?"
Mr Thunderkiss if you could keep it down please , we have received a number of noise complaints regarding your room.
That's because Kaizer has just walked into a war zone!
What star is this hotel?
There are a number of issues
A war zone? I assure you Mr Thunderkiss this hotel does not resemble a war zone in any way shape or form. We are a reputable establishment! What seems to be the issue?"Where to start? 1. The room smells like gone off cabbage. 2. The bed sheets haven't been changed, these look like a Brontosaurus' jiz rag. 3. The previous guest also left a floater the size of watermelon in the goddam jacks 4. Why are all the channels showing German shizer porn. 5. Booking.com said room with a view... Theres no windows here! 6. The phone is glued, actually glued to the ceiling. 7. If you remove the painting over the bed you are looking through a hole into the next room. 8. Wheres the bed??? 9. The carpet seems soaked,theres a constant squelch. Kaizer suspects this is dog urine. 10. There's a dog in the bath. 11. Someone defacated in the bible! 12. The mini bar is full of cans of dog food and petrol. 13. Some wrote in the suggestion book. "Please blow up this something something hotel". 14. There appears to be someone locked in the wardrobe! This is more like Fawlty Towers than Trump Towers | |||
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"Champagne an strawberrys and plenty of extra towels please xx" We do have a special offer on at the moment of complimentary box of Butlers chocolates with every bottle of Moët bought! I will send them up with the extra towels straight away! Enjoy your stay  | |||
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""Room service?" "Room service?"
Mr Thunderkiss if you could keep it down please , we have received a number of noise complaints regarding your room.
That's because Kaizer has just walked into a war zone!
What star is this hotel?
There are a number of issues
A war zone? I assure you Mr Thunderkiss this hotel does not resemble a war zone in any way shape or form. We are a reputable establishment! What seems to be the issue?
Where to start?
1. The room smells like gone off cabbage.
2. The bed sheets haven't been changed, these look like a Brontosaurus' jiz rag.
3. The previous guest also left a floater the size of watermelon in the goddam jacks
4. Why are all the channels showing German shizer porn.
5. Booking.com said room with a view... Theres no windows here!
6. The phone is glued, actually glued to the ceiling.
7. If you remove the painting over the bed you are looking through a hole into the next room.
8. Wheres the bed???
9. The carpet seems soaked,theres a constant squelch. Kaizer suspects this is dog urine.
10. There's a dog in the bath.
11. Someone defacated in the bible!
12. The mini bar is full of cans of dog food and petrol.
13. Some wrote in the suggestion book. "Please blow up this something something hotel".
14. There appears to be someone locked in the wardrobe!
This is more like Fawlty Towers than Trump Towers "Mr Thunderkiss The room smells of Vera Wang room scent flown in from LA it is NOT cabbage! The bed sheets have been used only by you, where you wipe your jizz is your own issue The floater in the toilet was left by yourself after consuming the full keg I delivered earlier to you! Should I continue???? | |||
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"I think before ordering anything naughty I'd start with a meal, for a balanced varied diet of course Something hot & spicy to start, perhaps the wings, I love birds, followed by something steamy, maybe muscles, i would have to think carefully about the desert then We do have a particularly tempting Coq au Vin on special this evening. For dessert I would highly recommend the Strawberries and cream, handpicked locally and the cream is whipped to stiff peaks Delectable! On what might this be served on? Sir it is served in our signature Vilroy and Boch crockery however if I may assume you were asking about who it will be served by? The answer would be Greta she is an exchange student from Sweden who is currently studying the intricacies of intimate massage. I do believe you will find her most enjoyable If you incur and issues please do not hesitate to contact me directly " I would like to proceed with desert,I'm not one for signature crockery, I find it cold to touch, instead, I'd like Greta laid on her back, on a wheeled table, with hand picked strawberries and cream placed in such a way as to preserve her modesty, I would like her wheeled to my room by a curvey brunette who will assist me in eating my dessert and I will decide what to do with both of them then | |||
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""Room service?" "Room service?"
Mr Thunderkiss if you could keep it down please , we have received a number of noise complaints regarding your room.
That's because Kaizer has just walked into a war zone!
What star is this hotel?
There are a number of issues
A war zone? I assure you Mr Thunderkiss this hotel does not resemble a war zone in any way shape or form. We are a reputable establishment! What seems to be the issue?
Where to start?
1. The room smells like gone off cabbage.
2. The bed sheets haven't been changed, these look like a Brontosaurus' jiz rag.
3. The previous guest also left a floater the size of watermelon in the goddam jacks
4. Why are all the channels showing German shizer porn.
5. Booking.com said room with a view... Theres no windows here!
6. The phone is glued, actually glued to the ceiling.
7. If you remove the painting over the bed you are looking through a hole into the next room.
8. Wheres the bed???
9. The carpet seems soaked,theres a constant squelch. Kaizer suspects this is dog urine.
10. There's a dog in the bath.
11. Someone defacated in the bible!
12. The mini bar is full of cans of dog food and petrol.
13. Some wrote in the suggestion book. "Please blow up this something something hotel".
14. There appears to be someone locked in the wardrobe!
This is more like Fawlty Towers than Trump Towers
Mr Thunderkiss
The room smells of Vera Wang room scent flown in from LA it is NOT cabbage!
The bed sheets have been used only by you, where you wipe your jizz is your own issue
The floater in the toilet was left by yourself after consuming the full keg I delivered earlier to you!
Should I continue????"What day is it? | |||
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"I think before ordering anything naughty I'd start with a meal, for a balanced varied diet of course Something hot & spicy to start, perhaps the wings, I love birds, followed by something steamy, maybe muscles, i would have to think carefully about the desert then We do have a particularly tempting Coq au Vin on special this evening. For dessert I would highly recommend the Strawberries and cream, handpicked locally and the cream is whipped to stiff peaks Delectable! On what might this be served on? Sir it is served in our signature Vilroy and Boch crockery however if I may assume you were asking about who it will be served by? The answer would be Greta she is an exchange student from Sweden who is currently studying the intricacies of intimate massage. I do believe you will find her most enjoyable If you incur and issues please do not hesitate to contact me directly I would like to proceed with desert,I'm not one for signature crockery, I find it cold to touch, instead, I'd like Greta laid on her back, on a wheeled table, with hand picked strawberries and cream placed in such a way as to preserve her modesty, I would like her wheeled to my room by a curvey brunette who will assist me in eating my dessert and I will decide what to do with both of them then" Certainly sir I know just the person to assist you with this task! She is also fond of dessert and whipped cream so I think you will both get along swimmingly! Should you need any “utenstils” to assist you please do let me know as we do carry a wide variety | |||
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 I didn't order this  | |||
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"Just a simple ask. Could you please send Kate beckinsale and Jennifer Lawrence to my room please "Sir with all due respect I’m not God and if I were they’d both be staying in my room  | |||
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"Erm, there is a guy holding a brown bible and a dog looking at me through a hole in the wall from next door. There also seems to be a German gangbang going on behind him, and the smell, oh my god the smell I didn't order this "Hotel security have been alerted to a vagrant on the fifth floor sir! I assure you it’s all in hand! Give it ten minutes and the German gangbang will call to you for your turn. | |||
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"I think before ordering anything naughty I'd start with a meal, for a balanced varied diet of course Something hot & spicy to start, perhaps the wings, I love birds, followed by something steamy, maybe muscles, i would have to think carefully about the desert then We do have a particularly tempting Coq au Vin on special this evening. For dessert I would highly recommend the Strawberries and cream, handpicked locally and the cream is whipped to stiff peaks Delectable! On what might this be served on? Sir it is served in our signature Vilroy and Boch crockery however if I may assume you were asking about who it will be served by? The answer would be Greta she is an exchange student from Sweden who is currently studying the intricacies of intimate massage. I do believe you will find her most enjoyable If you incur and issues please do not hesitate to contact me directly I would like to proceed with desert,I'm not one for signature crockery, I find it cold to touch, instead, I'd like Greta laid on her back, on a wheeled table, with hand picked strawberries and cream placed in such a way as to preserve her modesty, I would like her wheeled to my room by a curvey brunette who will assist me in eating my dessert and I will decide what to do with both of them then Certainly sir I know just the person to assist you with this task! She is also fond of dessert and whipped cream so I think you will both get along swimmingly! Should you need any “utenstils” to assist you please do let me know as we do carry a wide variety " I dont believe any will be required for desert | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? You and a riding crop to my room
Good evening Sir
I can see from your guest profile that you purchased this item from the menu on your previous stay. We here at the fab hotel recommend a varied diet. Perhaps try something new this stay, all feedback is greatly appreciated, we are always looking for ideas to help improve our menu
Enjoy your stay"We should be friends. | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? You and a riding crop to my room
Good evening Sir
I can see from your guest profile that you purchased this item from the menu on your previous stay. We here at the fab hotel recommend a varied diet. Perhaps try something new this stay, all feedback is greatly appreciated, we are always looking for ideas to help improve our menu
Enjoy your stay
We should be friends. "Thank you for contacting the Room Service department with your recent query. Unfortunately we have been unable to message you directly due to your filters. We will try and catch you before check out tomorrow. Breakfast is served until 10.30am and check out is at 12 but I have requested a delayed check out for you | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? " Hello Reception , I would be very grateful if you could send someone with an " all that you can eat " product ,one that contains Absolutely no calories what so ever so as much of it can be eaten and not put on an ounce ,thank you. | |||
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Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit "What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? You and a riding crop to my room
Good evening Sir
I can see from your guest profile that you purchased this item from the menu on your previous stay. We here at the fab hotel recommend a varied diet. Perhaps try something new this stay, all feedback is greatly appreciated, we are always looking for ideas to help improve our menu
Enjoy your stay
We should be friends.
Thank you for contacting the Room Service department with your recent query. Unfortunately we have been unable to message you directly due to your filters. We will try and catch you before check out tomorrow. Breakfast is served until 10.30am and check out is at 12 but I have requested a delayed check out for you "Hmmm... Maybe you could just pop up to the room for a visit... | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab "Long story! But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab "I highly doubt a single heart has been broken. | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe "Bahahahaha | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
"Shhhhh say nuthin | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin "I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe AGAIN | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN "Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole  | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN
Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole "Midget Elf Same difference | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN
Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole
Midget
Elf
Same difference "Hey Kids wanna go see Santa and his midgets this year? 
Not the same really is it | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? Hello Reception , I would be very grateful if you could send someone with an " all that you can eat " product ,one that contains Absolutely no calories what so ever so as much of it can be eaten and not put on an ounce ,thank you." I hate having to repeat myself but how’s ever I’ll saw it again I’m not God, and if I was and I had this product I’d be a millionaire and not stuck running this debaucherous hotel | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? You and a riding crop to my room
Good evening Sir
I can see from your guest profile that you purchased this item from the menu on your previous stay. We here at the fab hotel recommend a varied diet. Perhaps try something new this stay, all feedback is greatly appreciated, we are always looking for ideas to help improve our menu
Enjoy your stay
We should be friends.
Thank you for contacting the Room Service department with your recent query. Unfortunately we have been unable to message you directly due to your filters. We will try and catch you before check out tomorrow. Breakfast is served until 10.30am and check out is at 12 but I have requested a delayed check out for you
Hmmm... Maybe you could just pop up to the room for a visit... "Due to unforeseen circumstances with some midgets I’m just dealing with a situation at the moment. Why don’t you draw yourself a nice bath I left some Prosecco in the room for you and I’ll be up to scrub your back shortly | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN
Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole "Mr Thunderkiss I think it’s time you left the Fab hotel, you’ve caused nothing but mayhem since you checked in yesterday. I have revoked your gold status and black listed you amongst all other Fab hotels. You can appeal this decision within 21 days however this process is long and gruelling and requires a man with stamina and a particular skill set to get back into the manageress good graces. You have an outstanding bill of €12k between damages and copious amounts of room service. I have left an itemised bill for you at reception. I would recommend steering clear of such forums as tripadvisor least I remind you that we have video footage of what took place in the elevator with you and three miniature people last evening. If you require any help with your luggage please dial 0 where you’ll be politely laughed at Should you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact me directly | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN
Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole
Mr Thunderkiss
I think it’s time you left the Fab hotel, you’ve caused nothing but mayhem since you checked in yesterday. I have revoked your gold status and black listed you amongst all other Fab hotels. You can appeal this decision within 21 days however this process is long and gruelling and requires a man with stamina and a particular skill set to get back into the manageress good graces. You have an outstanding bill of €12k between damages and copious amounts of room service. I have left an itemised bill for you at reception.
I would recommend steering clear of such forums as tripadvisor least I remind you that we have video footage of what took place in the elevator with you and three miniature people last evening.
If you require any help with your luggage please dial 0 where you’ll be politely laughed at
Should you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact me directly "Shiver me timbers
Well Kaizer just found footage on his phone of you Miss OP having the craic in the room with a load of Germanz, a midget and a Manbeast. 
That explains why your fingers are glued to your face | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN
Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole
Mr Thunderkiss
I think it’s time you left the Fab hotel, you’ve caused nothing but mayhem since you checked in yesterday. I have revoked your gold status and black listed you amongst all other Fab hotels. You can appeal this decision within 21 days however this process is long and gruelling and requires a man with stamina and a particular skill set to get back into the manageress good graces. You have an outstanding bill of €12k between damages and copious amounts of room service. I have left an itemised bill for you at reception.
I would recommend steering clear of such forums as tripadvisor least I remind you that we have video footage of what took place in the elevator with you and three miniature people last evening.
If you require any help with your luggage please dial 0 where you’ll be politely laughed at
Should you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact me directly
Shiver me timbers
Well Kaizer just found footage on his phone of you Miss OP having the craic in the room with a load of Germanz, a midget and a Manbeast.
That explains why your fingers are glued to your face "Mr Kaizer If you’d like to follow me into my office I believe we may be able to come to some agreement! Greta if you could hold all my calls and make sure I’m not disturbed I should be done with Mr Thunderkiss in 30-40mins | |||
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"Thank you for a wonderful stay
Presumably you will be keeping Kaizer's room deposit
What did you break Kaizer?? Apart from the hearts of every lady on Fab
Long story!
But it was one heck of a bank holiday weekend
PS there's someone still in the wardrobe
Bahahahaha
Shhhhh say nuthin
I’m sure the manager of this fine establishment can look after your minor indiscretion of leaving a midget in the wardrobe
AGAIN
Midget
She said she was an Elf from the North Pole
Mr Thunderkiss
I think it’s time you left the Fab hotel, you’ve caused nothing but mayhem since you checked in yesterday. I have revoked your gold status and black listed you amongst all other Fab hotels. You can appeal this decision within 21 days however this process is long and gruelling and requires a man with stamina and a particular skill set to get back into the manageress good graces. You have an outstanding bill of €12k between damages and copious amounts of room service. I have left an itemised bill for you at reception.
I would recommend steering clear of such forums as tripadvisor least I remind you that we have video footage of what took place in the elevator with you and three miniature people last evening.
If you require any help with your luggage please dial 0 where you’ll be politely laughed at
Should you require any further assistance please do not hesitate to contact me directly
Shiver me timbers
Well Kaizer just found footage on his phone of you Miss OP having the craic in the room with a load of Germanz, a midget and a Manbeast.
That explains why your fingers are glued to your face
Mr Kaizer
If you’d like to follow me into my office I believe we may be able to come to some agreement!
Greta if you could hold all my calls and make sure I’m not disturbed I should be done with Mr Thunderkiss in 30-40mins "Better make that an hour Greta | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? " A few bottles of bombay saphire gin, tonic, ice, lemon and a few sexy guys please as Im here with 2 my best female friends | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? A few bottles of bombay saphire gin, tonic, ice, lemon and a few sexy guys please as Im here with 2 my best female friends "Certainly Madam, I have a set of Dutch triplets on my books that I will send up to the room for you. Tall, well built and very eager to please. All equally as handsome as the next, and when you tire of one you’ve got two more on back up! Also you get triple points on your reward card so it’s win win Enjoy your stay! | |||
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"You’re staying in a hotel where EVERYTHING is on the menu What would you order? A few bottles of bombay saphire gin, tonic, ice, lemon and a few sexy guys please as Im here with 2 my best female friends
Certainly Madam, I have a set of Dutch triplets on my books that I will send up to the room for you. Tall, well built and very eager to please. All equally as handsome as the next, and when you tire of one you’ve got two more on back up!
Also you get triple points on your reward card so it’s win win
Enjoy your stay!"We love it! | |||
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"I’m about to order room service and I really wish I had the choice of anything right now!" Sir I understand this is your first stay with us here at the Fab hotel. As such there is nothing ‘off’ the menu. We do aim to please, multiple times in fact! Please let us know how we can assist you this evening | |||
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