FabSwingers.com forum: One for the lads.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right. Here we go. Opinion time. A five years ago I had a relationship end. Not because I was a shit or she found someone better. No no no. Because I got in the way of her instagramming. She couldn’t understand why I was so upset and angry. I chatted to her yesterday and she still doesn’t get it.

Question for the lads. How would such a situation make you feel.

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

So people are just addicted to things, but if you were not happy then walking away is the best option.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So people are just addicted to things, but if you were not happy then walking away is the best option. "

Walking away was done. I’m asking was being angry justified. Or as she put it. Instagram is more important.

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

I guess if she was spending more time on it then with you or while with you then yes in my opinion you were right to have anger.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Just to play devils advocate... was she what the young people call an 'influencer'.. like does she earn an income from Instagram?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Instagram is more important to her thsn a relationship then her priorities are arse ways...that said over use of a sicial media site wouldnt force a relationship beeak up in my opinion..unless she was cheatong on you through it

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Wouldn't really care.

I have friends, who are female and i give them advice and they ignore it. "hes a shit head", "well he is nice to me so I am going to date him"... few weeks later "yeah hes a shithead"...

"Be careful with him, and dont do anything illegal", "Hes lovely though", few months later "He beat me, made me dress up as a young girl, wanted me to sleep with at risk adults".

To this day they wont take my advice, and I get annoyed with them, but oh well..

But they were never my girlfriend, if they were my girlfriend I would stop advising them, and stop caring. If I advised them to stop instagramming and they didnt and we broke up.

I'd honestly hope the instagramming worked out and they ended up in a good place.

Or if they gave it up, not because of me, but because of something else, then I would hope they didnt get hurt, and ended up in a good place.

I don't care though, like if they end up in a bad place it does not make me happy. If they end up in a good place, it does not make me happy. They are strangers to me basically.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just to play devils advocate... was she what the young people call an 'influencer'.. like does she earn an income from Instagram?"

She does to a small extent.

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By *oft_sexy_sweetWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"Just to play devils advocate... was she what the young people call an 'influencer'.. like does she earn an income from Instagram?

She does to a small extent. "

So it's a career to her? Or wants to make it a career?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just to play devils advocate... was she what the young people call an 'influencer'.. like does she earn an income from Instagram?

She does to a small extent.

So it's a career to her? Or wants to make it a career? "

Not as such. It’s a hobby. Every now and then she gets free stuff. Not much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to play devils advocate... was she what the young people call an 'influencer'.. like does she earn an income from Instagram?

She does to a small extent.

So it's a career to her? Or wants to make it a career?

Not as such. It’s a hobby. Every now and then she gets free stuff. Not much. "

I get the impression that you look down on what she's interested in. Whether it's a hobby or not, if you didn't support her then I think she did the right thing. Especially considering your whinging about it on the Internet 5 years later...

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By *s24u!Couple
over a year ago

Limerick

Your anger is a way of punishing yourself for someone else's mistake. Just move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it broke up a relationship you were invested in then of.course your going to be angry, it doesnt mean you were right or she was wrong, we dont have enough info to decide that, and things are rarely that black and white anyway.

Deciding insta was more important to her than you were must be a relly hard thing to hear but thats her choice at this stage of her life.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Normally the relationship is already broken or has a crack - for what reason whatsoever- when a onesided activity is taking over or is allowed to take over. The activity is just an sign not the reason that a relationship comes to an end. Also it normally takes two to tango, however your anger is understandable and normal because it hurts when your relationship falls apart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Normally the relationship is already broken or has a crack - for what reason whatsoever- when a onesided activity is taking over or is allowed to take over. The activity is just an sign not the reason that a relationship comes to an end. Also it normally takes two to tango, however your anger is understandable and normal because it hurts when your relationship falls apart. "

I agree with most of this, however the activity itself may be an addiction, which is more to do with the individual than the relationship. However, how much Internet activity is "reasonable" is a very subjective thing, as is how much time and attention a partner should be getting vs other activities or hobbies.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

If she was more invested in instagram than your relationship then you were right to walk away. Relationships take work and if she wanted to spend her time online rather than with you then it was never going to work out.

It doesn’t really matter if she agrees with you on it - it was your choice and you made it. Little point in trying to change things now

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

I agree with the 3 female posters above.

Breaking up over an app! What's the world coming to?

There was obviously more than that to it.

Now, has anyone a similar experience with Fab? Cos I can't stay off the feckin thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right. Here we go. Opinion time. A five years ago I had a relationship end. Not because I was a shit or she found someone better. No no no. Because I got in the way of her instagramming. She couldn’t understand why I was so upset and angry. I chatted to her yesterday and she still doesn’t get it.

Question for the lads. How would such a situation make you feel. "

OP, may I please ask you how often did you both talk about your relationship, day to day problems, etc?

Ive been married 15years with a lovely man who had a kink I've discovered when back a day earlier from a business trip. People do not talk honestly with their partners and the communication issue is a main reason for breaking up the relationship.

Sometimes its too late to fix it but I ve promised myself if Ill meet the right guy, he must be honest with me in the same way Im honest with him. There is no harm to talk openly with your partner. We are just humans, everybody has different fantasies, interests and needs but without honest talks you cant have a healthy relationship. It never will work.

Maybe I went too far but sharing is caring and better prevent and learn on other people mistakes...

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