FabSwingers.com forum: YOUR CONFIDENCE

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello everyone,a little question for all here ...if you send or have sent a message to someone and let's say it didn't get the response you hoped it would as in your adcances were rejected in whatever form ,a block,a no reply ,a no thanks etc ..how did you feel and did it effect your confidence or how did you deal with it..and was it made worse by seeing that the person you were messaging was after meeting others and you felt the " what's wrong with me " vibe..so l suppose basically l'm asking fabbers if their personal confidence has been hurt or damaged here on this site ?

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By *ergalMan
over a year ago

East Cork

Take no notice of it...

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

Wouldn't phase us as we cant expect to be everyone's type

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By *hoosyhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

any

I've been rejected, I've rejected others. I'm sure they had their reasons as I had mine. Not a problem, this place is only a bit of fun, best not to take it seriously

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Dosent bother me i wouldn't read to much into it im obvious not there type or what there looking for but generally id have a glance of there profile first to see what there looking for

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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Happens both ways all the time. We can't expect mutual attraction all the time. It's not a bad thing it's just a thing. I don't let it bother me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have become more confident since joining Fab. I accept my imperfections and I look in the mirror and like what I see now. At first it was hurtful to get nasty messages calling me fat ugly or a slut for being on this site. I used to cry reading some of the messages. But I just kept dusting myself off and learnt to get stronger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have to have a fairly thick skin to be on a site like this.

Nobody likes rejection but we all experience some form of it.

After a while you won't notice and just move on to the next one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have become more confident since joining Fab. I accept my imperfections and I look in the mirror and like what I see now. At first it was hurtful to get nasty messages calling me fat ugly or a slut for being on this site. I used to cry reading some of the messages. But I just kept dusting myself off and learnt to get stronger."

Jeez...no guy is worth one tear from your eyes lady...good to hear you say you've got stronger.

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By *he MickMan
over a year ago

southside

If I hear nothing back , I just block them so I don't message them again .

, As I don't want to pester them but I also think their loss so I can't say it affects my confidence but completely understand how it could .

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By *he MickMan
over a year ago

southside

So sorry to hear that , truly I am some men don't realise words can hurt .

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By *an For YouMan
over a year ago

belfast/holywood

No- it’s their loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gotta have thick skin round these parts! All about choice.. Choose to give someone time or not. Choose to engage or not. Choose to take words on board or not.

Choose block button or not.

But always choose to be true to yourself....oh and sunscreen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear that , truly I am some men don't realise words can hurt . "

Oh I am grand now it's a foolish person who trys to put me down. They get it with both barrels! But I feel sorry for the people that can't handle the rejection or the abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have types same as you me or anyone else. Rejection isnt nice no matter what form it is whether that be on here work etc so I can understand you been a little hit by hit. Firstly that's perfectly normal your human you have feelings but it doesn't really mean anything more than it is.

You simply just aren't that persons type. This doesn't mean anything other than what it says you could be fantastic in every aspect and still not be someones type. My advice take it on the chin you will be somebody else's type. Respect the decision too if it's a no it's a no dont ask why or message any further end the conversation with a friendly adult reply.

As far as confidence goes the only person that should effect that is yourself nobody in this forsaken Earth should ever let you think differently of yourself. I have been rejected a few times its not nice but I accepted it like we all should moved on and forgot about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I message someone a don't get a reply, a second message may follow incase of it being bulk deleted, after that it's a no no.

However an instant block for one message kind of bugs me a tiny bit..but we all have our reasons, that I understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't worry me one bit.fab is just a bit of fun and shouldn't be taken to seriously.thats my view on the whole thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if your a person for whom not getting replies or being turned down on here greatly affects your confidence then it may not be the healtiest enviorment for you, and I dont mean that in a nasty way.

Rejection is part of life but I guess because of the nature of the site it is more frequent on here, so if that is going to negatively affect you it might be best to remove yourself from it or just stop sending messages and enjoy the forum and maybe get to a meet and greet instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to post one last thing I didnt want my original post to be too big lol. Think of time as your source of everything on this planet. You only have a limited amount at the end of the day you give time to work time to family time to hobbies like pets etc. This isnt free to you as your physically giving a portion of your life you never get back.

Now this is how you should think about everything in life is that moment that person or that activity worth giving away my time. Your time is your time you need to respect what others do with theirs. If your giving away your time cost less then you need to make sure its benefits you aswell.

So in these situations think of it that way. Most of us have jobs outside lives families etc the little free time we have is precious and valuable we are not just going to waste it on someone we do not like or get along with. We want that time to be used well as that exact time and date will never occur for you again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats just awful to reaf that they made you cry Rosy. Sorry to hear that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i get a no reply or chat goes no where

It dosent bother me i move on

Its only a bit of fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to post one last thing I didnt want my original post to be too big lol. Think of time as your source of everything on this planet. You only have a limited amount at the end of the day you give time to work time to family time to hobbies like pets etc. This isnt free to you as your physically giving a portion of your life you never get back.

Time is our most valuable asset and currency of today.

The CEO of Netflix lists sleep as a company competitor.

Everyone simply desires your attention and time. That's yours to give or not.

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By *angtasticallyMan
over a year ago

Drogheda

Definitely don't take it personal

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

A straight no is fine.

But I usually get told yes they will meet me when they have time. Then I chat with them as they tell me they are too busy to meet me, but they want to.. as they get veri from another person after other person.

It's happened me so much that it has affected me. I'm not annoyed, I'm not angry, I have just stopped asking for meets, and assume new people I chat to will not have time to meet me.

I dont think it's someones loss if they don't meet me, they might have gained by not meeting me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to say to ourselves " whats wrong with us no one is interested" but now we just get on with it and dont take it too serious. We are not everyone's choice as not everyone is our choice too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats just awful to reaf that they made you cry Rosy. Sorry to hear that "

I wasn't long seperated when I joined Fab. So I had lead a very sheltered life. I was 42 before I saw a unsolicited dick pic! So I wasn't used to keyboard warriors thinking it's ok to say what they like.

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By *r tayt2Man
over a year ago

Trim

Never take it personal

Ignore the Muppets if you are respectful things will happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks to previous Internet experience and tough life experiences over the preceding decade, I arrived on fab with the same pragmatic approach with which I now take life in general - people behave in the way they do because of themselves, not because of me. It's never personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined fab I answered all messages even if I had to say a polite no thanks..the replying abuse from some was horrendous..so I stopped replying to any messages and still don't reply unless I'm genuinely interested..

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I joined first got quite a shock lol but I've learnt to take everything with a pinch of salt, too many false promises, have been called quite nasty names when I've politely declined, even got random guys message me saying nasty stuff but I've learnt to ignore, report and block. That's their issue not mine.

Confidence has improved by been here, if someone had told me 3 yrs ago I'd have no issue posting sexy pics I'd have laughed and it's definitely opened my mind to erotic fiction which I can share here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I joined late one night last year and woke up to 402 messages next morning. Obviously you can't reply to all so I started deleting. I didn't know people would know I deleted. I was shocked by the nasty messages for deleting or replying I wasn't interested

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By *ames in LaoisMan
over a year ago

portloaise

Doesn't impact my confidence. As others have said, if I'm not their type I'm not their type. Move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats just awful to reaf that they made you cry Rosy. Sorry to hear that

No matter if you were seperated or not, no one should be mean to others, or be picking on them. Its a trait i dislike in people.

Im glad you've come a long way since then.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Don't take it to heart OP, you're only 2 weeks on the site, so a LOT of the rejection you're currently experiencing comes simply from being 'too new' for most people. As someone else already advised, maybe take a break from sending messages for a little while and don't focus on getting a meet ASAP. Sit back, observe, join in the forums and chatrooms, and you might find that like-minded people will gravitate to you anyway without you having to approach them directly through cold-mailing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never

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By *omripleyMan
over a year ago

blackrock

Mate, I'll be honest. As a single guy verified here I could get one curious message a week if I do nothing.

A single girl here can get 100 a day. That's each girl here when they start and even when here a while they get not far off that.

I get where you're coming from but seriously you need to understand from day one that the odds are very much not in your favour. Make your profile appealing, get involved in chats discussions. Do a meet&greet.

"Hello everyone,a little question for all here ...if you send or have sent a message to someone and let's say it didn't get the response you hoped it would as in your adcances were rejected in whatever form ,a block,a no reply ,a no thanks etc ..how did you feel and did it effect your confidence or how did you deal with it..and was it made worse by seeing that the person you were messaging was after meeting others and you felt the " what's wrong with me " vibe..so l suppose basically l'm asking fabbers if their personal confidence has been hurt or damaged here on this site ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I hear nothing back , I just block them so I don't message them again .

, As I don't want to pester them but I also think their loss so I can't say it affects my confidence but completely understand how it could . "

I wish more guys did this. I constantly get messages from guys who've messaged me before, and it's really frustrating. Good man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly wouldn't bother me at all. As others have said we cant all be everyone's type. Thankfully I am some guys type so i focus on them.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

-----------------

My confidence doesn't get dented if my message is deleted, rejected or if she sleeps with everyone here

...except me

because simply put, my Fab charactor is just that, a sarcastic, cheeky charactor and not the real me

(except for any of the well endowed references obviously

)

Anyway, thing is for any single male here, FAB should be just simple fun and not taken too seriously... you send out 30 replies, 24 are unread, 6 opened and 1 might reply. You win some, you lose a lot here, simple as

...

So, with each delete, just shout "Next" and move on!

Just, chat, have fun, be polite

and you'll enjoy this mad Fab place more

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mate, I'll be honest. As a single guy verified here I could get one curious message a week if I do nothing.

A single girl here can get 100 a day. That's each girl here when they start and even when here a while they get not far off that.

Thank you for the kind advice my friend but my question was a " just in general " question asking has any fabbers had their confidence in anyway been effected here on fab ..it is not me saying mine has ( and yes it was tbh over timewasters ) or how to get meets etc..and l'm very happy with the play meets that l have had here on fab with some amazing ladies.and l have ALWAYS realised what the ratio between ladies/ gents is here ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't take it to heart OP, you're only 2 weeks on the site, so a LOT of the rejection you're currently experiencing comes simply from being 'too new' for most people. As someone else already advised, maybe take a break from sending messages for a little while and don't focus on getting a meet ASAP. Sit back, observe, join in the forums and chatrooms, and you might find that like-minded people will gravitate to you anyway without you having to approach them directly through cold-mailing.

I'm not taking it to heart in the slightest...it's just a general question across the board ,l'm well aware of the amount of timewasters here and l Absolutely know that not every shoe fits ,my profile says 2 weeks but l deleted previous one instead of taking a break so that's why it just says two weeks..and l've had fantastic meets with ladies here ...so my question was just to ask if fabbers confidence was dented here in any way and how did they feel or deal with it ?... It has Absolutely nothin' to do with my state of feelings here...thank you for your reply and advice ,happy fabbing.

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