FabSwingers.com forum: The sins of your friends.

By *evil_u_know OP Man
over a year ago

city

Someone is a bit of a cunt to you, calls you some names, harasses you. Finds reasons to argue with you. Lets say in work.

Someone else out of the blue is nice to you, you have a few chats, etc in the canteen when no one else is around etc.

Then you find out they are great friends with the person who goes out of their way to annoy you.

What do you do?

a) Judge them harshly for it and no longer be friends with them.

b) Don't judge them, but distance yourself from being friends with them, while staying polite.

c) Continue to be friends with them and don't judge them at all.

d) something else I cant think of.

I am a B, I wont judge them, but the chances of me and them being friends are now zero.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone is a bit of a cunt to you, calls you some names, harasses you. Finds reasons to argue with you. Lets say in work.

Someone else out of the blue is nice to you, you have a few chats, etc in the canteen when no one else is around etc.

Then you find out they are great friends with the person who goes out of their way to annoy you.

What do you do?

a) Judge them harshly for it and no longer be friends with them.

b) Don't judge them, but distance yourself from being friends with them, while staying polite.

c) Continue to be friends with them and don't judge them at all.

d) something else I cant think of.

I am a B, I wont judge them, but the chances of me and them being friends are now zero."
I'd be B too just keep them at arm's length but be nice enough can't say anything bad about ya

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

None of the above but I'd sort out the original person first and foremost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take people as they come so C.

Also it might soften the forsr persons view to you

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By *ohng69Man
over a year ago

athenry

"None of the above but I'd sort out the original person first and foremost. "

This exactly. If something like this happens in work, then it needs to be sorted first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would assume they've decided that's the best way to deal with the the other person and continue being civil.

I don't do "friends" or "enemies" at work, I'm there to do a job.

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By *an For YouMan
over a year ago

belfast/holywood

I always lived by the rule ; keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

Box clever

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

C because it would piss the other person off to see it doesn't bother you and it's unfair to judge someone else on another's behavior. Besides they night just be friends with said people due to being friendly to all.

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By *evil_u_know OP Man
over a year ago

city

"I take people as they come so C.

Also it might soften the forsr persons view to you"

B and C people are both taking them as they come.

B are just taking their wider social interactions into account, and C are taking their personal one on one interactions into account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take people as they come so C.

Also it might soften the forsr persons view to you

B and C people are both taking them as they come.

B are just taking their wider social interactions into account, and C are taking their personal one on one interactions into account."

Fair point still C for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C. Treat the people as they treat me. They can't impact the rest. And if they become good friends with you, maybe they might

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None of the above but I'd sort out the original person first and foremost.

This exactly. If something like this happens in work, then it needs to be sorted first "

What if you can't sort it? Some people are just natural see you next Tuesdays.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"None of the above but I'd sort out the original person first and foremost.

This exactly. If something like this happens in work, then it needs to be sorted first

What if you can't sort it? Some people are just natural see you next Tuesdays.

Synts?

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By *xperimental CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Fab

Don't tar them with the same brush.

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

"None of the above but I'd sort out the original person first and foremost.

This exactly. If something like this happens in work, then it needs to be sorted first

What if you can't sort it? Some people are just natural see you next Tuesdays.

Synts?"

The robots are taking over?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone is a bit of a cunt to you, calls you some names, harasses you. Finds reasons to argue with you. Lets say in work.

Someone else out of the blue is nice to you, you have a few chats, etc in the canteen when no one else is around etc.

Then you find out they are great friends with the person who goes out of their way to annoy you.

What do you do?

a) Judge them harshly for it and no longer be friends with them.

b) Don't judge them, but distance yourself from being friends with them, while staying polite.

c) Continue to be friends with them and don't judge them at all.

d) something else I cant think of.

I am a B, I wont judge them, but the chances of me and them being friends are now zero."

I would pick C as they may have a completely different experience of the person you do. They are being friendly to you and until they give you reason not to trust them then just live and let live.

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By *an For YouMan
over a year ago

belfast/holywood

Imagine this in families . If you had a brother/ sister and you really didn’t like their partner , what would you do. I can think of several people in my immediate family I literally can’t stand but I don’t fall out with their partner/ my relative

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

C... While I get to the bottom of the problem with the first person and sort it out.

I've only ever come across 2 people in my entire working life who were simply cunts for no other reason than that is who they are. Both were female. One later lost her job for physically assaulting an apprentice (she dragged him out of the office by his ear when he brought her the wrong thing to 'show him' which one she actually wanted), and the other was an older woman who refused to up-skill or use new software because she was 'too old for all that' (she was 50) and doubled her own section staff's workload by forcing them to do everything manually for her as well as digitally per the organisation's policy. She too eventually lost her job for bullying. Anyone else who acted the cunt, I was able to resolve issues with, they were usually just stupid misunderstandings or resentments.

If your first colleague however did turn out to be a confirmed cunt, and there was no hope of changing that, I would have reservations about someone who would ignore, tolerate or worse, encourage, that kind of behaviour, so I would probably end up distancing myself from them too over time.

Same with swinging actually... I tend to take folk as I find them, and if there's an issue try to straighten it out.... But if someone is an irredeemable cunt and others tolerate or support it, I'll just distance myself and get on with doing what's right for me.

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

A mix of B and C. If they’re just a cunt to me then that’s just between us. If they’re a general cunt then it would influence how I saw anyone who was good friends with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a tricky one but overall I think C. I wouldn’t expect anyone to not speak or be friendly with someone on my account but I guess at a level I’d would be conscious of the relationship they might have and temper what I say around them as a result.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

Dublin and midlands

Office politics!! Remain aloof, with both of them.

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By *lippery-when-wet-180Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

"This is a tricky one but overall I think C. I wouldn’t expect anyone to not speak or be friendly with someone on my account but I guess at a level I’d would be conscious of the relationship they might have and temper what I say around them as a result."

This for me too, you never know what they will say back about you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone is a bit of a cunt to you, calls you some names, harasses you. Finds reasons to argue with you. Lets say in work.

Someone else out of the blue is nice to you, you have a few chats, etc in the canteen when no one else is around etc.

Then you find out they are great friends with the person who goes out of their way to annoy you.

What do you do?

a) Judge them harshly for it and no longer be friends with them.

b) Don't judge them, but distance yourself from being friends with them, while staying polite.

c) Continue to be friends with them and don't judge them at all.

d) something else I cant think of.

I am a B, I wont judge them, but the chances of me and them being friends are now zero."

I'm definitely ( B ) I would definitely be polite but keep my distance. I couldn't see myself being friends with them.

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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

C for me. I take people as I find them. We all have different things we see in others.

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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"Someone is a bit of a cunt to you, calls you some names, harasses you. Finds reasons to argue with you. Lets say in work.

Someone else out of the blue is nice to you, you have a few chats, etc in the canteen when no one else is around etc.

Then you find out they are great friends with the person who goes out of their way to annoy you.

What do you do?

a) Judge them harshly for it and no longer be friends with them.

b) Don't judge them, but distance yourself from being friends with them, while staying polite.

c) Continue to be friends with them and don't judge them at all.

d) something else I cant think of.

I am a B, I wont judge them, but the chances of me and them being friends are now zero.

I'm definitely ( B ) I would definitely be polite but keep my distance. I couldn't see myself being friends with them. "

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