FabSwingers.com forum: Judging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you think you are judged by your appearance? I don’t mean whether you are pretty or handsome or whatever but more your dress choice, hair, make up etc. I had a very important work meeting this week so wore my usual office attire but painted over my lovely bright nails with a muted neutral tone (which I normally wear) because I didn’t want the people I was meeting to get the “wrong impression”. Now I feel mad but I’m not sure at who... probably myself for feeling like I needed to do that. I’m interested in everyone’s views.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtyglintWoman
over a year ago

Any

Never feel you have to tone yourself down whether that be your nails or anything else for someone else. Be you. Life is much easier when you accept all the parts of yourself and live true to yourself. Only persons opinion of you that matters is your own. Big hugs. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think you are judged by your appearance? I don’t mean whether you are pretty or handsome or whatever but more your dress choice, hair, make up etc. I had a very important work meeting this week so wore my usual office attire but painted over my lovely bright nails with a muted neutral tone (which I normally wear) because I didn’t want the people I was meeting to get the “wrong impression”. Now I feel mad but I’m not sure at who... probably myself for feeling like I needed to do that. I’m interested in everyone’s views."

People will always judge others, be yourself and don't worry about they are thinking. There was a time where I used to look at myself and what I was wearing that day, trying to imagine what someone would think if they looked at me.

I wear what I feel comfortable in, if you're comfortable with your hair/nails a certain way or the clothes you're wearing, you're going to give off a more confident vibe and people will see that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

I'm always judged on my appearance.

Both in professional and personal life.

I've long hair and a beard. I've turned down employment due to being asked would I cut my hair. I wouldn't mind but they were the one who wanted me. But they were afraid their clients wouldn't like it.

I've also been judged on fab because of it not everyone is into the Celtic/Viking look. I know this, and I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

Besides I'd rather be a shot of whiskey (goes down easy leaves a warm feeling inside

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are 100% judged by your appearance in all contexts op .. attire and makeup are a form of communication, so maybe a more positive way to think about it is that you did the right thing by controlling the message you wanted to send to those people on that day

it doesn't change you or your style though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackk25Man
over a year ago

Kilkenny

There's a time and a place for everything and work scenarios are all about blending in, you're not representing yourself at meetings, you're representing an organisation...there are plenty of other opportunities for personal expression... Having said that nails are not going to make or break it,....now I need to lie down, these serious and thoughtful posts are tougher than I thought!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Yeah sure I got stopped by the police all the time because of how I looked. They even told me so.

If they treat a black person how they used to treat me, then it would be called racial profiling.

I remember I was stopped with a friend from Blackrock, we got searched, held up, after they confirmed his idenity they said "sorry about the hold up, and any delays".

They turned to me and poked me in the chest and said "you behave yourself".

And this was based purely on looks, I have no criminal history at all, not even penalty points.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Everyone judges people by their appearance whether they realise it or not. First impressions really do last so for a work meeting it's sensible enough to look neutral so that your look doesn't distract from your work.

Having said that, if you are your own boss then it doesn't matter as much but if you have a niche look then you always run the risk of limiting your appeal.

That all sounded sensible in my head but I'm not sure it typed out the way I wanted it to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course we are judged and we judge.

If I went to a meeting for work I wpuld expect everyone to be dressed appropriatly for it.

Its why we have fashion and style to set us apart and set the right tone for the setting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course we are judged and we judge.

If I went to a meeting for work I wpuld expect everyone to be dressed appropriatly for it.

Its why we have fashion and style to set us apart and set the right tone for the setting"

Ah I just imagine you topless the whole time #dreamsshattered

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it ok for a man to wear shorts to a wedding? Or a funeral?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Is it ok for a man to wear shorts to a wedding? Or a funeral?

I once saw a death notice in the paper for a woman aged 103,mourned by her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren. At the end it said "appropriate funeral dress only"

I would have thought that would at least involve shorts if not a grass skirt!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I think we all do consciously or unconsciously judge people by their appearance. I normally choose different attire for different occasions. For business I dress accordingly, not too short dresses or belly button cleavages as the focus should be on business and not on my arse or tits.

I have to confess though I was devious enough in the past to dress up to achieve the result I wanted to achieve in situations that seemed hopeless and it worked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Absolutely! Particularly in our professional lives. I think unless you've already proven yourself to be a Musk-level genius with billions in the bank, your instinct is always going to be to inspire an air of confidence and professionalism in those we are meeting, in our style of dress and appearance as much as demeanour. Like you, I would always 'tone' my appearance in accordance with the type of meeting I was attending or who it was with. My job and clientele is very varied. I could be meeting an artist in the morning to discuss an upcoming exhibition, an entrepreneur at lunchtime to put forward candidates for mentoring or sponsorship, musicians in the afternoon to plan a tour, or even giving a talk at a school or club to students, parents or teachers... I try to plan my wardrobe appropriately... But I have ended up climbing farm gates in heels and a suit AND wound up at an board meeting in jeans and wellies and wondered what kind of impression I left

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Of course we are judged and we judge.

If I went to a meeting for work I wpuld expect everyone to be dressed appropriatly for it.

Its why we have fashion and style to set us apart and set the right tone for the setting"

Actually that is just a preconceived notion you hold due to it always being done that way.

If people turned up in jeans and nike air max, or whatever comfortable casual clothes they have for the business meeting, you would get more done. This is proven.

Banks dont fall apart on casual friday.

The whole IT sector would fall apart if they were suddenly expected to wear suits, and the other sectors would do better if they didnt have to wear them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

ladies you should never change to suit somebody else . If you like wearing nice colour nails and lipstick and mini skirts . Do not change cos you think you might be put down bye someone . You are your own boss .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oreignaffairKKMan
over a year ago

Between CW and KK

"Never feel you have to tone yourself down whether that be your nails or anything else for someone else. Be you. Life is much easier when you accept all the parts of yourself and live true to yourself. Only persons opinion of you that matters is your own. Big hugs. Xx"

Recommended literature: Better Call Saul (on Netflix)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i know people judge me on my appearance. doesn't bother me as i don't know them and they don't know me. their opinion of me doesn't come into it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course we are judged and we judge.

If I went to a meeting for work I wpuld expect everyone to be dressed appropriatly for it.

Its why we have fashion and style to set us apart and set the right tone for the setting

Actually that is just a preconceived notion you hold due to it always being done that way.

If people turned up in jeans and nike air max, or whatever comfortable casual clothes they have for the business meeting, you would get more done. This is proven.

Banks dont fall apart on casual friday.

The whole IT sector would fall apart if they were suddenly expected to wear suits, and the other sectors would do better if they didnt have to wear them."

I agree with you.

But the question wasnt about productivity it was about peoples judgement.

My poibt was that we all (or at least for the vast majority of us) do judge people on their appearance.

I kbow for me personally I make snap judgements on people who come for interviews dependant on how they are dressed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"ladies you should never change to suit somebody else . If you like wearing nice colour nails and lipstick and mini skirts . Do not change cos you think you might be put down bye someone . You are your own boss . "

I love that you went straight to mini skirts... Like it's all any of us ever want to wear

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"I kbow for me personally I make snap judgements on people who come for interviews dependant on how they are dressed"

This

First impressions count.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

"You are 100% judged by your appearance in all contexts op .. attire and makeup are a form of communication, so maybe a more positive way to think about it is that you did the right thing by controlling the message you wanted to send to those people on that day

it doesn't change you or your style though

I concur

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I love that you went straight to mini skirts... Like it's all any of us ever want to wear

Yes, but for pity's sake, don't drive!

https://youtu.be/BDtVJiK8Lws

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eanbelfastMan
over a year ago

Belfast

People are often judged on appearance even on a subconscious level. You should dress on a way you are comfortable in for the situation if it’s work and you feel dressing professionally portrays the image and message you want then so be it. You can still be casual at times. That said I’m mostly in a suit but went to work on the motorbike the other week as I’d no meetings was in jeans and casual shirt but half way through the day was asked to stand in at a high level meeting. Luckily it was cancelled as I wouldn’t have felt properly dressed but still would have carried it off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ineapple_PrincessWoman
over a year ago

in the waves

Like it or not people make snap judgements. Ive spent the last two days interviewing people and you do judge people when you first meet them.

If you feel more comfortable portraying yourself in a certain way for work then do what you feel is best. It doesn't change who you are at a fundamental level.

Personally id be more bothered by someone who is late or looks dishevelled then by bright nails or makeup.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread