FabSwingers.com forum: Dom and Sub query

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I have a question.....obviously.

If a Dom has a Sub and they are supposed to obey any and all commands. If the sub was 100% straight and had no interest in the same sex and maybe even were turned off the idea about it. But their Dom demanded it of them, would they have to do it?

Or would maybe that be a rule that was set at the start of the agreement/relationship what would be ok and not ok....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard and soft limits should always be discussed and agreed at the start of any D/s relationship..good communication is key throughout the relationship ..Remember a real dominant is not a bully..

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By *cottybear74Man
over a year ago

kilkenny

Yes hard limits should be set, bullying and getting you to do things that are way outside your comfort zone is not domination it's bullying.

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By *igress69Woman
over a year ago

belfast

Boundaries are set before the dom sub relationship starts. Making a sub do something that you know is outside the boundaries is a definately no no and if u do then y are not a dom but a bully

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

A real Dom would know the soft and hard limits of their submissive, and wouldn't force something that was inappropriate. A Dom who forces this is abusive and won't have a sub very long.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is great guys, thanks learning so much here....bullying is a no no of course just seeing how the dynamic works, ha

So it would be hard to imagine it wouldn't have been brought up in discussing the terms but say it wasn't whether it was being with the same sex or anything else for that matter, even something that happens during a play that wasn't discussed? There can be an amendment to the rules? Or just there and then the Sub can say "no, not into that" maybe this is where a safe word comes in? And then continue on as you were?

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"This is great guys, thanks learning so much here....bullying is a no no of course just seeing how the dynamic works, ha

Exactly while the orignal contract is the outline whos to say things and events help to shape and mould the relationship but as they do a discussion on the changes has to be had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic"

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

Safe words exsist for a reason.

A Dom cannot force a Sub to do anything. If they do, well that's not a D/S dynamic that is a different situation altogether.

Communication is Key, a D/S dynamic cannot be built in one play session, nor can trust this can take months.

Also depends on what type of Sub/ Dom each other requires as D/S covers so many different areas of kink.

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By *upidsbowkissWoman
over a year ago

City Center

"A real Dom would know the soft and hard limits of their submissive, and wouldn't force something that was inappropriate. A Dom who forces this is abusive and won't have a sub very long. "

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By *uckoldDesiresMan
over a year ago

Dublin

[Removed by poster at 02/08/19 19:19:45]

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By *uckoldDesiresMan
over a year ago

Dublin

[Removed by poster at 02/08/19 19:19:37]

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By *uckoldDesiresMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I spent years exploring all kinds of various scenes with my Domme in a previous cuckold relationship.

Some of which I'd never have envisaged doing but because of that I had never foreseen them as a hard No.

Such wonderful experiences to look back on however, and possibly do again as a submissive.

But also something I would never consider in every day life.

I think the lines can get blurred at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you think yourself OP? As I know your not submissive at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Submission is a gift, with trust, communication, and its the Dom's responsibility to keep sub safe. No hard limit should be forced. This is not a D/s or bdsm as everthing has to be consented to. Other wise its abuse.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Its called forced bisexuality. Its more common for women to do this to men than men to do it to women, although it happens both ways.

Normally its not really "forced", the guy might be straight but might be open to sucking a dick, and the woman telling him he has to do it, he has no choice, is a turn on for him in a way.

Saying that, kinky, violent, and consent blurring stuff should be kept for people you trust and not casual encounters. It will mess you up.

Keep the casual stuff to passionate, not kinky/fetish.

Also, you set hard limits at the start, some submissive women might refuse something like cum in their mouth, and as the dominant then that is off the table for the entire relationship, you shouldnt even try to renegotiate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

Exactly.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

No, the Sub has no control at all. They just trust that the dominant wont hurt them and do things to them that they really find hurtful.

It happens all the time that submissive people have their limits ignored, their normal reaction to this is to say nothing and to freeze up. It even happens in fetish clubs in front of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good Daddy/Dom will care for the well being of his little/sub.

He will be honest as she will be with him. If a limit is hard it is hard.

If the Daddy is dishonest and/or breaks a hard limit the dynamic is gone and the sub/littles love of the Daddy/Dom is broken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

No, the Sub has no control at all. They just trust that the dominant wont hurt them and do things to them that they really find hurtful.

It happens all the time that submissive people have their limits ignored, their normal reaction to this is to say nothing and to freeze up. It even happens in fetish clubs in front of people."

It comes down to trust between the two. Ultimately the sub has control, if they safeword then the Dom has to honour that and stop the session. If he doesn’t then it was never a genuine d/s dynamic to begin with

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

No, the Sub has no control at all. They just trust that the dominant wont hurt them and do things to them that they really find hurtful.

It happens all the time that submissive people have their limits ignored, their normal reaction to this is to say nothing and to freeze up. It even happens in fetish clubs in front of people.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic

I'm liking the sound of this, so in a way the Dom has the illusion of control and the Sub controls what can and can't go on

No, the Sub has no control at all. They just trust that the dominant wont hurt them and do things to them that they really find hurtful.

It happens all the time that submissive people have their limits ignored, their normal reaction to this is to say nothing and to freeze up. It even happens in fetish clubs in front of people.

Control means they can stop play whenever they want. They cant, they need someone to honour their wishes, they need the person in control to honour them.

They have power, but very little control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sub and I have agreed on our limits before I ever agreed to be her domme.

Limits are as important as having a SAFE word during play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My sub and I have agreed on our limits before I ever agreed to be her domme.

Limits are as important as having a SAFE word during play"

Wowsers

24th July photo is

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"My sub and I have agreed on our limits before I ever agreed to be her domme.

Limits are as important as having a SAFE word during play

Wowsers

24th July photo is

30th July is better . Better on XNXX.COM

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"My sub and I have agreed on our limits before I ever agreed to be her domme.

Limits are as important as having a SAFE word during play"

FYI

Domme..... Female

Dom..... Male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My sub and I have agreed on our limits before I ever agreed to be her domme.

Limits are as important as having a SAFE word during play

FYI

Domme..... Female

Dom..... Male"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No dom worth their salt would force their sub to do something they didn't want to. That's not what the dynamic is about. I'd suggest watching less 50 shades and joining fetlife dot com instead.

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

"No dom worth their salt would force their sub to do something they didn't want to. That's not what the dynamic is about. I'd suggest watching less 50 shades and joining fetlife dot com instead.

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This has developed a mind of its own, intriguing, ha

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

I also give my sub(s) safe signals to use in case they cannot use their safe word because..... well you know..... they might be gagged or have their mouth full and well..... I have taught my sub that it is rude to speak with her mouth full.

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By *_Curious_DuoCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"You have to remember the sub ultimately has the power as they agree to what the limits are. Just because they are sub they don't have to do things that they don't want to.

It's all about trust and pushing their boundaries in a respectful way. Communication is key to a good Dom/sub dynamic"

This x 100!

Trust. Respect. Communication.

As a couple who have begun exploring the D/s dynamic between ourselves and with others over the last year or so, we couldn’t have put it more beautifully ourselves

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/19 06:00:49]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Think the question's been answered......numerous times, haha, thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

Only one guy ever brought up to me about other ways to safeword when unable to speak.. I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it before

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

Only one guy ever brought up to me about other ways to safeword when unable to speak.. I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it before

Yep I first encountered this scenario years back when I was less experienced in the BDSM scene and as a Dom.

I had the person all tied up and gagged (as she had requested) and it was during play that I realised "Hang on, how is she supposed to say her safe word if she can't speak?"

I stopped play and temporarily removed her gag to talk to her and suggest to her how she could signal to me if she wanted to stop.

Ever since then it's always a safe signal as well as a safe word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great to see some of the answers on here and then the misconception that subs don’t have the ultimate control/power.

If they are true dom/sub All play is meticulously discussed and agreed and while things may change along the way it’s always after conversation.

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

"OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

Only one guy ever brought up to me about other ways to safeword when unable to speak.. I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it before

Yep I first encountered this scenario years back when I was less experienced in the BDSM scene and as a Dom.

I had the person all tied up and gagged (as she had requested) and it was during play that I realised "Hang on, how is she supposed to say her safe word if she can't speak?"

I stopped play and temporarily removed her gag to talk to her and suggest to her how she could signal to me if she wanted to stop.

Ever since then it's always a safe signal as well as a safe word."

Had the same experience myself. And remember the safe word is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

Only one guy ever brought up to me about other ways to safeword when unable to speak.. I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it before

Yep I first encountered this scenario years back when I was less experienced in the BDSM scene and as a Dom.

I had the person all tied up and gagged (as she had requested) and it was during play that I realised "Hang on, how is she supposed to say her safe word if she can't speak?"

I stopped play and temporarily removed her gag to talk to her and suggest to her how she could signal to me if she wanted to stop.

Ever since then it's always a safe signal as well as a safe word.

Had the same experience myself. And remember the safe word is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

And they have to spell it letter by letter to stop not just say the word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

Only one guy ever brought up to me about other ways to safeword when unable to speak.. I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it before

Yep I first encountered this scenario years back when I was less experienced in the BDSM scene and as a Dom.

I had the person all tied up and gagged (as she had requested) and it was during play that I realised "Hang on, how is she supposed to say her safe word if she can't speak?"

I stopped play and temporarily removed her gag to talk to her and suggest to her how she could signal to me if she wanted to stop.

Ever since then it's always a safe signal as well as a safe word."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, if you want to better understand the dynamics of a D/S relationship then try Googling and reading the Submissive Creed and the Dominant Creed.

Also, I noticed a number of people mentioning having a safe word which is a good thing.

Only one guy ever brought up to me about other ways to safeword when unable to speak.. I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it before

Yep I first encountered this scenario years back when I was less experienced in the BDSM scene and as a Dom.

I had the person all tied up and gagged (as she had requested) and it was during play that I realised "Hang on, how is she supposed to say her safe word if she can't speak?"

I stopped play and temporarily removed her gag to talk to her and suggest to her how she could signal to me if she wanted to stop.

Ever since then it's always a safe signal as well as a safe word."

it's shocking how many people who have people in the same or similar position would never actually think of this. even the so called experienced dim Doms (or Dommes) would never consider something so simple.