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Shy at first. How long is too long?

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By *un4too OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cork

[Removed by poster at 29/07/19 23:56:22]

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By *un4too OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cork

A sentence that gets said often enough on here. "I'm shy at first".

A lot of couples on here have limited time due to family life and so on so when they do get the chance of a night away they like to make the most of it. Reading a topic on an English thread and there was a couple who managed to get away for a night and decided on going to a party in liverpool. Chatted to a couple there and it took him 3 hours to bring the female of the other couple out of her "shyness".

To me, that is just too much work. He has a wife, she has a hubby.

How long is too long? Bringing someone out of their shyness to me would feel like I'm trying to convince them into doing something they don't want to be doing. We all like the flirt and the chase but is that taking the piss?

Does it put you off a meet?

Noel.

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By *ig Red300Woman
over a year ago

limerick

Yeah I gotta say if it was taking that much time to get someone to open up/loosen up I’d just move on,like u said everyone has busy lives,gotta make the most of a rare nite off!especially in a party or social,plenty more people to go chat to! If someone seemed that shy I’d take it as they are not interested or don’t really wanna be there,perhaps pressured by other partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you OP. Half way through that I would of taken it as a message that this couple are either just not into me or are just not in the right place in their relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree if it takes someone 3 hours then they definitely didn't want it.

Maybe they should have meet in a bar and chatted and flirted and if there's a connection move on to the fun

You need a bit of chemistry too

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

They were at swingers party if it took three hrs Id tell them it was nice meeting them and move on to the next victim i mean couple after an hr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dissagree.

I never let anyone pressure me into having sex with them.

If a person and chemistry is right - they will not count the hours until they can get their dick wet.

We all have our busy lives and limited time.

Different people are into different things. Some like to just meet and fuck without taking names, others enjoy the build up and the right amout of flirting to make the sparks fly.

Taking a piss? The only person who's taking a piss - one who's moaning about not meeting someone's criteria, pushing for it anyway then moan some more when things don't go their way.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Dissagree.

I never let anyone pressure me into having sex with them.

If a person and chemistry is right - they will not count the hours until they can get their dick wet.

We all have our busy lives and limited time.

Different people are into different things. Some like to just meet and fuck without taking names, others enjoy the build up and the right amout of flirting to make the sparks fly.

Taking a piss? The only person who's taking a piss - one who's moaning about not meeting someone's criteria, pushing for it anyway then moan some more when things don't go their way. "

I get all that but the op had them at a swingers party where playing was happening and i understand e ven at a party would u nog pug them out of their missery and tell them sorry ur not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dissagree.

I never let anyone pressure me into having sex with them.

If a person and chemistry is right - they will not count the hours until they can get their dick wet.

We all have our busy lives and limited time.

Different people are into different things. Some like to just meet and fuck without taking names, others enjoy the build up and the right amout of flirting to make the sparks fly.

Taking a piss? The only person who's taking a piss - one who's moaning about not meeting someone's criteria, pushing for it anyway then moan some more when things don't go their way.

I get all that but the op had them at a swingers party where playing was happening and i understand e ven at a party would u nog pug them out of their missery and tell them sorry ur not for me"

So if you attend a swingers party where play is happening, your genitals suddenly become public property?

As I said - with a right person and right chemistry one doesn't count the time. If a man's only goal was to get sex- he was free to move on and find someone else, who would have done it with him a lot quicker and didn't require all that "hard work"

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Never met a shy girl. I think its just something women do to men they are unsure of, not prime alpha males like me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dissagree.

I never let anyone pressure me into having sex with them.

If a person and chemistry is right - they will not count the hours until they can get their dick wet.

We all have our busy lives and limited time.

Different people are into different things. Some like to just meet and fuck without taking names, others enjoy the build up and the right amout of flirting to make the sparks fly.

Taking a piss? The only person who's taking a piss - one who's moaning about not meeting someone's criteria, pushing for it anyway then moan some more when things don't go their way.

I get all that but the op had them at a swingers party where playing was happening and i understand e ven at a party would u nog pug them out of their missery and tell them sorry ur not for me

So if you attend a swingers party where play is happening, your genitals suddenly become public property?

As I said - with a right person and right chemistry one doesn't count the time. If a man's only goal was to get sex- he was free to move on and find someone else, who would have done it with him a lot quicker and didn't require all that "hard work" "

Fuck now don't think anyone is thinking that.

No matter where you are if it's right it will feel right.

Everyone is different and some only go to the parties to look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wording of this post is a little troublesome......

Maybe its just because it is a second hand post.

So did they end up playing after the 3 hours, if so the Orininal Poster obviously didnt find it too much work, he must have been getting some satisfaction out of the conversation?

Is it taking the piss? No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinger party or no swinger party if the couple were that anxious to move on and have fun they would have

How long it takes someone to get comfortable shouldnt come into it.no one but the people there know the circumstances. After all the lady might be new to the party scene.it might take her longer to feel confortable in a play situation and there is nothing wrong with that.for some it's about enjoying the person they with not hi and straight down to action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't put a time limit on these thing's.just go with the flow and if it happens mighty and if not you still have a good night's craic.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"Swinger party or no swinger party if the couple were that anxious to move on and have fun they would have

How long it takes someone to get comfortable shouldnt come into it.no one but the people there know the circumstances. After all the lady might be new to the party scene.it might take her longer to feel confortable in a play situation and there is nothing wrong with that.for some it's about enjoying the person they with not hi and straight down to action."

Exactly this.......my first party I sat at the kitchen table talking all night. Nerves got the better of me. I hope I wasn't classed as a waste of time

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Dissagree.

I never let anyone pressure me into having sex with them.

If a person and chemistry is right - they will not count the hours until they can get their dick wet.

We all have our busy lives and limited time.

Different people are into different things. Some like to just meet and fuck without taking names, others enjoy the build up and the right amout of flirting to make the sparks fly.

Taking a piss? The only person who's taking a piss - one who's moaning about not meeting someone's criteria, pushing for it anyway then moan some more when things don't go their way.

I get all that but the op had them at a swingers party where playing was happening and i understand e ven at a party would u nog pug them out of their missery and tell them sorry ur not for me

So if you attend a swingers party where play is happening, your genitals suddenly become public property?

As I said - with a right person and right chemistry one doesn't count the time. If a man's only goal was to get sex- he was free to move on and find someone else, who would have done it with him a lot quicker and didn't require all that "hard work" "

Thats not what i am saying at all in fact its the oppisite why take three hrs to convince someone to have sex in an envoirment where there are multiple people open and willing to do so. Basicly we are agreeing in vanilla land chatting a person up for three hrs is the norm but u change that to something like a party where every one is open to having sex with strangers and you can take away alot of the chat. Even at a swingers party its your choice who u have sex with or not but surely if a guy was spending a lot of time chatting u up u would tell him early on ur not interested or would u leave him work away just to keep u occupied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

That is not what i am saying at all in fact its the oppisite why take three hrs to convince someone to have sex in an envoirment where there are multiple people open and willing to do so. Basicly we are agreeing in vanilla land chatting a person up for three hrs is the norm but u change that to something like a party where every one is open to having sex with strangers and you can take away alot of the chat. Even at a swingers party its your choice who u have sex with or not but surely if a guy was spending a lot of time chatting u up u would tell him early on ur not interested or would u leave him work away just to keep u occupied "

As none of us know what was amd wasnt said we cant be sure the lady in question didnt say she wasnt really interested.

But if you are at a party and willing to invest 3 hours chatting to someone instead of deciding that this woman may not be for you then accept that and dont post on a public forum after about it.

I do understand what you mean, but surely the male in the story can decide himself how much time he wants to stat chatting without the other party needing to state her intentions.

Granted I am no expert on swing parties but from being on here and chatting to people the best ones seem to be those with no pressure to play attached

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

she was shy it was her first time, so what if it took 24 hrs, was she still comfortable watching her hubby, sounds like yes as she didnt walk out.

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By *un4too OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cork

From my own point of view here.

I think they were both wasting each others time. I'll hazard a guess and say 99% of people who attend such parties are there to play. Me personally, I wouldnt spend 3 hours talking to someone.

I go to parties to play. I do always go say hello to people sitting alone and who look shy, don't know is that looked at as reassuring to them or condescending? I have met a few women at parties where there was very little talk and we clicked and had great fun. I prefer little talk and from my own experiences, women don't seem to interested in chit chat and like to get straight to the point.

Noel.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"From my own point of view here.

I think they were both wasting each others time. I'll hazard a guess and say 99% of people who attend such parties are there to play. Me personally, I wouldnt spend 3 hours talking to someone.

I go to parties to play. I do always go say hello to people sitting alone and who look shy, don't know is that looked at as reassuring to them or condescending? I have met a few women at parties where there was very little talk and we clicked and had great fun. I prefer little talk and from my own experiences, women don't seem to interested in chit chat and like to get straight to the point.

Noel.

"

Yet your profile say

"Love the social side of this lifestyle and have no problem going to parties purely for a good night in good company. If it ends up with us having filthy fun then that's a bonus. No expectations."

Maybe she misread your profile

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By *un4too OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cork


"From my own point of view here.

I think they were both wasting each others time. I'll hazard a guess and say 99% of people who attend such parties are there to play. Me personally, I wouldnt spend 3 hours talking to someone.

I go to parties to play. I do always go say hello to people sitting alone and who look shy, don't know is that looked at as reassuring to them or condescending? I have met a few women at parties where there was very little talk and we clicked and had great fun. I prefer little talk and from my own experiences, women don't seem to interested in chit chat and like to get straight to the point.

Noel.

Yet your profile say

"Love the social side of this lifestyle and have no problem going to parties purely for a good night in good company. If it ends up with us having filthy fun then that's a bonus. No expectations."

Maybe she misread your profile "

Or maybe you read the opening post wrong? I'm not talking about me in the thread personally.

And yes, eve goes to parties and more often than not doesn't play. Is she shy? Not exactly.

Would she like some fella to comfort her for hours on end to bring her out of being shy? No.

I like to state my intentions early on.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

First of all nobody is obliged to play or have sex on a swingers party.

But also as far as I know nobody was/is obliged to chat x-amount of hours on a swinger party with the same person. If your intention was to have as much fun as possible but you end up chatting for hours with the same person trying to convince him/her to fancy you, not able to read signs that it's not going to happen and waste your own time, let me tell you: it's your own fault!

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By *un4too OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cork


"First of all nobody is obliged to play or have sex on a swingers party.

But also as far as I know nobody was/is obliged to chat x-amount of hours on a swinger party with the same person. If your intention was to have as much fun as possible but you end up chatting for hours with the same person trying to convince him/her to fancy you, not able to read signs that it's not going to happen and waste your own time, let me tell you: it's your own fault! "

Spot on.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"From my own point of view here.

I think they were both wasting each others time. I'll hazard a guess and say 99% of people who attend such parties are there to play. Me personally, I wouldnt spend 3 hours talking to someone.

I go to parties to play. I do always go say hello to people sitting alone and who look shy, don't know is that looked at as reassuring to them or condescending? I have met a few women at parties where there was very little talk and we clicked and had great fun. I prefer little talk and from my own experiences, women don't seem to interested in chit chat and like to get straight to the point.

Noel.

Yet your profile say

"Love the social side of this lifestyle and have no problem going to parties purely for a good night in good company. If it ends up with us having filthy fun then that's a bonus. No expectations."

Maybe she misread your profile

Or maybe you read the opening post wrong? I'm not talking about me in the thread personally.

And yes, eve goes to parties and more often than not doesn't play. Is she shy? Not exactly.

Would she like some fella to comfort her for hours on end to bring her out of being shy? No.

I like to state my intentions early on. "

So why is it all right for Eve to go to a party and not play but not this couple? If the couple in question didnt pick up the signs that she wasnt going to play but still chose to spend 3 hours in their company then surely it's their problem not hers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have a link to the original forum post?

Its hard to make out what part of the OP in this thread was your opinion and what was from the original post

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

From my point of view......I go to socials, clubs and parties for the social aspect. To meet new friends and old. If ever I felt under pressure to play I wouldnt go to them. If I click with someone and end up playing then its bonus. I dont go with the intention to play with just anyone just because I'm their......but that's just me

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"From my point of view......I go to socials, clubs and parties for the social aspect. To meet new friends and old. If ever I felt under pressure to play I wouldnt go to them. If I click with someone and end up playing then its bonus. I dont go with the intention to play with just anyone just because I'm their......but that's just me "

So maybe I'm wasting peoples times attending

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By *un4too OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cork


"Do you have a link to the original forum post?

Its hard to make out what part of the OP in this thread was your opinion and what was from the original post"

The majority of it are my own words on it. His own comment was basically "we were at a party recently on the rare occasion we can get to one, i chatted to a woman who told me straight away that she's very shy to begin with but not to let it fool me. I spent 3 hours chatting to her to get past the shyness and by then the party was coming to an end".

He never actually said if he played with her or not.

Ill root out the link there.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I normally dont do this. But...

If a girl tells you she is shy, then you reply "that's okay, you can take things at your own pace, only go as far as you want, and there is no pressure here... would you be comfortable with a kiss?"

It does not mean, "hey, want to spend 3 hours in awkward chat with me, and I will be too shy to stop the chat?"

Shy people dont want 5 hours of chat, they want the cute guy across the room they keep breaking eye contact with to come over and lean in and say he would like to kiss her, in a way that is discreet, and comfortable for them.

They want to be in the bedroom fucking the shit out of the guy, their nerves are just getting in the way. Just dont take their awkward replies and stuff to heart, a lot of the time they say stuff then embarrass themselves.

Cause trust me, if a girl says "I'm shy but dont let that put you off" and you lean in and ask for a kiss their heart will be pounding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I normally dont do this. But...

If a girl tells you she is shy, then you reply "that's okay, you can take things at your own pace, only go as far as you want, and there is no pressure here... would you be comfortable with a kiss?"

It does not mean, "hey, want to spend 3 hours in awkward chat with me, and I will be too shy to stop the chat?"

Shy people dont want 5 hours of chat, they want the cute guy across the room they keep breaking eye contact with to come over and lean in and say he would like to kiss her, in a way that is discreet, and comfortable for them.

They want to be in the bedroom fucking the shit out of the guy, their nerves are just getting in the way. Just dont take their awkward replies and stuff to heart, a lot of the time they say stuff then embarrass themselves.

Cause trust me, if a girl says "I'm shy but dont let that put you off" and you lean in and ask for a kiss their heart will be pounding."

I wish I knew all that stuff when I was a teenager ffs lol. But yes.. the quiet ones are always the best !!

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