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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question.

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

For me it's sexless, but what that guy wanted to do was almost sexual assault .only a prick would film someone without their knowledge

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By *exysam and StuartCouple
over a year ago

over the hills and far away

I'd be blocking that guy straight away. He has zero respect for his other half camming without her knowledge. A big no no from me.

Sam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

Good question, but a bit deep for a Monday morning, I'll get back to you later

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd be blocking that guy straight away. He has zero respect for his other half camming without her knowledge. A big no no from me.

Sam"

Done and done!

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By *kcoupleCouple
over a year ago

.....

There are a huge amount of people here playing without their partner knowledge and it's not our place to judge or ask why. At events we attended in the past we were really surprised at how many attached/singles played and most dudnt care.

But the guy in OPs post is an absolutely animal. What he is proposing to do is also illegal. Imagine a friend coming to you after catching her partner doing that. Lowest of the low

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By *exysam and StuartCouple
over a year ago

over the hills and far away


"I'd be blocking that guy straight away. He has zero respect for his other half camming without her knowledge. A big no no from me.

Sam

Done and done!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

I have been through all these thoughts and feelings, is it right is it wrong etc etc. As I said on another post, many here are lieing about it, pretending to be single. I actually have come to the conclusion is just sex and people have whatever reasons they have I understand it in lots of ways aswell. I was in a relationship where the sex was an issue and being used against me, it was horrible. It lead to all sorts of issues, my drive can be high at times.A guy I was seeing was married and told me he thinks about t me while fucking his wife lol. I think if enhances his deflated sex with his wife and if it is not me he's thinking of its going to be another woman. I try to be good lol but i have to admit him thinking about me kind of turns me on a little the more he says it....

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

Many married women are here doing same thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Generally I don’t judge people for being here, everyone has their reasons but I suppose that last interaction really made me pause and think. I felt really bad for his other half... I’m feeling bad and have done nothing wrong and yet he clearly by his suggestion was willing to betray whatever trust is there with no regard for his other half with whom he obviously has sexual relations with.

Thinking about someone else is I think a very different thing, as everyone is entitled to their little fantasies, they hurt nobody.

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

Honestly bash, that is disgusting and he is afucking idiot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people simply have no empathy or regard for others. The shit these people do to others, even those for whom they may profess love and respect, no longer surprises me.

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By *ussieGMan
over a year ago

Ireland

I’m in a relationship where we are compatible in every way except sexually . I have taken the step to join here as I have exhausted all avenues at home over the past five years . It wasnt an easy decision and to be honest I could easily go to an escort to satisfy the sexual urge, however I really enjoy the reciprocation of intimacy, the flirting and the social connection .I’m not looking to change my situation or anyone else’s for that matter . Some ladies are quite understanding and discretion is fine however there are a few who have messaged ‘I don’t do cheating ‘ and that’s okay . I’m always up front that I’m attached . I can understand why some people market themselves as single because of the larger pool of ladies however I’m happy to be upfront .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

That is a nightmare scenario!

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Filming someone without their knowledge and sharing it with others either live or later should get you locked up for 10 years if you ask me.

I have never been married but I do know people often do it because they are afraid of being alone and the person is as good as they think they can do. So as soon as someone just as good shows interest their head turns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

Attached or not, filming someone without their consent is unacceptable

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By *ergalMan
over a year ago

East Cork


"I’m in a relationship where we are compatible in every way except sexually . I have taken the step to join here as I have exhausted all avenues at home over the past five years . It wasnt an easy decision and to be honest I could easily go to an escort to satisfy the sexual urge, however I really enjoy the reciprocation of intimacy, the flirting and the social connection .I’m not looking to change my situation or anyone else’s for that matter . Some ladies are quite understanding and discretion is fine however there are a few who have messaged ‘I don’t do cheating ‘ and that’s okay . I’m always up front that I’m attached . I can understand why some people market themselves as single because of the larger pool of ladies however I’m happy to be upfront . "

Along the same lines myself, wife not into sex either, no problems in relationship otherwise, but I want to try more than her/me on top.. I'm honest on my profile and I'm sure there are married ladies in a similar position having no strings, discrete fun

The idea of that guy filming is totally wrong!

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

A few married woman I've chatted to here

have said that they're just not getting it at home as hubby has no interest...

One or two might have a fantasy that they want fulfilled.

Everyone has their own uniquereasons to swing I guess

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By *aidRXTV/TS
over a year ago

ashbourne

I never lie about who or what I am...

My Mrs knows all about this side of my life and at one time she was heavily involved, setting up meets for me and all however it simply wasnt her cuppa tea.

She tried all this for me and it wasnt for her so she allows me to play as Roxy because she knows thats who I am and what I need but she doesnt get involved anymore.

Sexually were what you call 'boring' now compared to the way we were but she also allows me here to get all that out of my system as Roxy.

So I am attached, I do play alone however I dont hide anything from my partner!!!

Roxy

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By *adrarfjordr VoyeurMan
over a year ago

Waterford


"

So I am attached, I do play alone however I dont hide anything from my partner!!!

Roxy "

The perfect scenario

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By *oguish1Man
over a year ago

Carrigrohane


"I’m in a relationship where we are compatible in every way except sexually . I have taken the step to join here as I have exhausted all avenues at home over the past five years . It wasnt an easy decision and to be honest I could easily go to an escort to satisfy the sexual urge, however I really enjoy the reciprocation of intimacy, the flirting and the social connection .I’m not looking to change my situation or anyone else’s for that matter . Some ladies are quite understanding and discretion is fine however there are a few who have messaged ‘I don’t do cheating ‘ and that’s okay . I’m always up front that I’m attached . I can understand why some people market themselves as single because of the larger pool of ladies however I’m happy to be upfront . "

Well said

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By *ittyMissKittyWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

People have their own reasons for joining here, I cant judge but I would tend to avoid married or attached men as it doesn't sit comfortably with me!

But filming an unknowing partner us just showing what absolute disregard and little respect he has for her. It's disgusting. I think any one of us would hate to have it done to us.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

This is going slightly off on a tangent, as it's nothing to do with the OP's original question, but more to do with points raised by several posters in relation to the incident in question.

As many have said above, filming or camming someone without their knowledge or permission is heinous, and I'm not at all surprised by people's reactions... But lots of people are in photos on here without their knowledge or permission... Fwbs, ex partners, hook ups... People who may (or may not) have allowed photos to be taken for their own private use but never gave permission for them to be used or shared publicly. If Fab allowed videos to be uploaded, how many would also include ex partners, etc., without their knowledge? Or how many have met someone on Fab or another site who have given permission for mutual photos to be used on that particular site, but their meet may decide that that also gives them the right to use those photos across other sites too, and even on porn channels... When attending parties where photos were allowed, was everyone from the same site (some parties and events are multi-site advertised), and did each person in those photos give permission for the photos to be used on other sites than the one they are members of? As a Fabber, how would you feel if you knew someone you had met and agreed to take some mutual pics for your Fab profiles with, was also using them across other sites and channels? Or sharing them in kik, viber, Snapchat or WhatsApp groups?

It's a slippery slope... Is any of it acceptable? Do we just assume that everything we see on here has been done or shown with expressed permission, or do we care? Is it only when someone actually admits that permission wasn't given in a specific instance, that it even crosses our mind that it may not always have been?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is going slightly off on a tangent, as it's nothing to do with the OP's original question, but more to do with points raised by several posters in relation to the incident in question.

As many have said above, filming or camming someone without their knowledge or permission is heinous, and I'm not at all surprised by people's reactions... But lots of people are in photos on here without their knowledge or permission... Fwbs, ex partners, hook ups... People who may (or may not) have allowed photos to be taken for their own private use but never gave permission for them to be used or shared publicly. If Fab allowed videos to be uploaded, how many would also include ex partners, etc., without their knowledge? Or how many have met someone on Fab or another site who have given permission for mutual photos to be used on that particular site, but their meet may decide that that also gives them the right to use those photos across other sites too, and even on porn channels... When attending parties where photos were allowed, was everyone from the same site (some parties and events are multi-site advertised), and did each person in those photos give permission for the photos to be used on other sites than the one they are members of? As a Fabber, how would you feel if you knew someone you had met and agreed to take some mutual pics for your Fab profiles with, was also using them across other sites and channels? Or sharing them in kik, viber, Snapchat or WhatsApp groups?

It's a slippery slope... Is any of it acceptable? Do we just assume that everything we see on here has been done or shown with expressed permission, or do we care? Is it only when someone actually admits that permission wasn't given in a specific instance, that it even crosses our mind that it may not always have been? "

We prefer to avoid those whose pics are an array of other people, not only because of the issue of consent, but because we want to see the body we might be meeting, not a bunch of randoms.

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By *ltered EgoMan
over a year ago

not a million miles from the airport.


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

So, I’m attached- play alone without wife’s knowledge or consent.

For me it’s a sexless marriage- has been for many years.

I’ll won't leave the marriage as I love my kids too much.

I don’t hide the fact that I’m married and playing offside, that’s unfair to potential fab mates.

That bloke you mentioned is a scumbag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am married,I am just looking for that thrill,the excitment.I look for NSA but find no women are interested and feel here it is a big NO NO.Even been honest them them here.We all have our reasons.Iwould never want my wofe to know I am here or hurt her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

Weve not met a guy on here when we MMF that eventually admitted to being attached. There choice not our problem we say. Were married and on here together.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

The whole attached scenarios on fab playing without overhalfs knowledge is not going to change anytime soon. Where its wrong and looked upon as cheating which I know it is, but outside of fab most people wouldn't grasp the swinging scene and would class the couples cheating even with knowledge....I guess my attitude is let people make own choices if not for you move on .

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

I'd say if you sat down with alot of people who are in vanilla relationships, the norm shall we say, they would frown upon swingers. I'd still say most couples just have one another and that's it. More people probably swing but don't think it will take off altogether.

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By *ork fellaMan
over a year ago

Macroom

[Removed by poster at 09/07/19 19:40:39]

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By *ork fellaMan
over a year ago

Macroom

Told my girlfriend more or less straight away that I had a profile on here when I met her first.Didn't know what her reaction would be but she's intrigued by it, but is shy about joining. For me I wanted our relationship to go somewhere at the start so didn't want it starting off on a lie.I think telling her back then has helped our relationship. Trust is key.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Told my girlfriend more or less straight away that I had a profile on here when I met her first.Didn't know what her reaction would be but she's intrigued by it, but is shy about joining. For me I wanted our relationship to go somewhere at the start so didn't want it starting off on a lie.I think telling her back then has helped our relationship. Trust is key. "
you were open and honest and told her from the off. What would you of done if she said she's not interested in you while you're on here when you told her?

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By *ork fellaMan
over a year ago

Macroom


"Told my girlfriend more or less straight away that I had a profile on here when I met her first.Didn't know what her reaction would be but she's intrigued by it, but is shy about joining. For me I wanted our relationship to go somewhere at the start so didn't want it starting off on a lie.I think telling her back then has helped our relationship. Trust is key. you were open and honest and told her from the off. What would you of done if she said she's not interested in you while you're on here when you told her?"
I guess we'll never know now

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Told my girlfriend more or less straight away that I had a profile on here when I met her first.Didn't know what her reaction would be but she's intrigued by it, but is shy about joining. For me I wanted our relationship to go somewhere at the start so didn't want it starting off on a lie.I think telling her back then has helped our relationship. Trust is key. you were open and honest and told her from the off. What would you of done if she said she's not interested in you while you're on here when you told her? I guess we'll never know now "
see that's the carrot that's dangling. If you get serious with a girl, do you tell her you're staying on here or do u leave. The risk worked out well for you. I have always said I'd never be here if in a serious relationship and I stand by that but also know you have to be open and honest also if you want to remain here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldnt care less if someones attached married single or whatever, only backround check i do is verification check not personal life checks as its a sex site im here to have sex with like minded people.

If in a relationship and having sex without partners consent then good do whats best for you because lets be honest your not on a dating site looking for love we are all human and joining a sex site specifically for sex alone nothing more shows that yea you actually do love your wife/husband and want to stay in a relationship even though they dont want you having sex because they dont/cant/wont we are only here once enjoy life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been in sexless relationship for 10 years or so, (she has her reasons that i wont air to everyone) but told me to go ahead and try find fun but not to pay for it, i meet the odd lady in my line of work at the weekends but then a friend introduced me to fab, the only other thing she ask me to do was get the snip as she didnt want me having a pile of children round the country, (we already have a grown up son) which i did get done for her, she never asks for details about who or where as long as i come home afterwards

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By *ork fellaMan
over a year ago

Macroom


"Told my girlfriend more or less straight away that I had a profile on here when I met her first.Didn't know what her reaction would be but she's intrigued by it, but is shy about joining. For me I wanted our relationship to go somewhere at the start so didn't want it starting off on a lie.I think telling her back then has helped our relationship. Trust is key. you were open and honest and told her from the off. What would you of done if she said she's not interested in you while you're on here when you told her? I guess we'll never know now see that's the carrot that's dangling. If you get serious with a girl, do you tell her you're staying on here or do u leave. The risk worked out well for you. I have always said I'd never be here if in a serious relationship and I stand by that but also know you have to be open and honest also if you want to remain here. "
I suppose for me, before I told her I knew she enjoyed sex and she had been the one to suggest we watch porn together,She asked in bed one night what was the craziest experience I had and I told her about being on here

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By *ttached70Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Im attached myself and on here with wifes knowledge and permission. Definitely not in a sexless marriage. We were both in the scene up to a couple of years ago. Wife not so much now but she knows how much we both enjoyed it she allows me to continue in the scene. The hardest part is trying to convience someone that open relationships do exsist.

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By *ornyone30Man
over a year ago

ABERDEEN

Myself and wife have always had different sex drives and different ideas of fantasies. Over the last few years sex has dwindled to every couple months and very routine at that. I'd love us both to be on here but she just isn't into anything other than a quickie, but like one of those ones whete she either fakes it or is thinking about the shopping during it lol. I want to stayed married but also still want a sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

I’m attached but it’s not because I’m in a sexless relationship or the risk or excitement that I’m on this, I’ve asked my other half if she would up for having other people join us for some fun and she’s not and never will be up for something like that, so it’s on my own without her knowing, I really like to experience mmf or mff fun Bi Curious or Straight, I’m just up for experiencing it to see what’s it like that’s all, also I’m kinda curious which she doesn’t know and can’t let her find out, I joked about it one day with her and her didn’t seem to impressed with it lol

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question."

The fact that he thought that was okay makes me shudder. What a Sicko.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are lots of attached people who play alone on fab. I’m curious as to motivation. Is it a sexless marriage or a marriage of convenience or just the added risk/excitement or maybe it’s a combination? An attached man asked me if I wanted to watch him on cam play with his other half unbeknownst to her the thought of which tbh horrified me and I have been thinking about it since which I guess has prompted the question.

The fact that he thought that was okay makes me shudder. What a Sicko."

To be honest it probably would have ended uo being him on his own and it was a ploy....

I too have an imaginary friend if anyone wants to see them on cam or enjoys a mf(i)m

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People take it far to serious what's said on fab.Its just words on a screen.

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By *ocko123Man
over a year ago

Derry

Absolute prick! Probably a criminal act?

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By *uv2bnude3Man
over a year ago

Thurles

For me its a combination. In a sexless relationship. I love sex and the thrill and excitement of the chase and then when the meet happens the adrenalin really flows. Then when its time for the fun ...... well that feeling is just awesome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it was variety that brought me to fab. It was easier than trying to pull some random girl when out clubbing occasionally. I was always upfront on or offline and maybe surprised offline how many women didn’t care.

The sex life has improved because I have stepped back from this and put the effort in. Swinging together was mentioned a long time ago and given the red card so that wasn’t an option.

I can understand when people won’t meet, shall we say, players because when you think about it, it is wrong, it is disrespectful, but that’s on the “player”. It’s when people are openly judgmental and refer to cheaters that you think... hang on a sec, swinging is an alternative lifestyle..... live and let live.

I love steak but I’ll have fish on occasion because that tastes good too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me it was variety that brought me to fab. It was easier than trying to pull some random girl when out clubbing occasionally. I was always upfront on or offline and maybe surprised offline how many women didn’t care.

The sex life has improved because I have stepped back from this and put the effort in. Swinging together was mentioned a long time ago and given the red card so that wasn’t an option.

I can understand when people won’t meet, shall we say, players because when you think about it, it is wrong, it is disrespectful, but that’s on the “player”. It’s when people are openly judgmental and refer to cheaters that you think... hang on a sec, swinging is an alternative lifestyle..... live and let live.

I love steak but I’ll have fish on occasion because that tastes good too "

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me it was variety that brought me to fab. It was easier than trying to pull some random girl when out clubbing occasionally. I was always upfront on or offline and maybe surprised offline how many women didn’t care.

The sex life has improved because I have stepped back from this and put the effort in. Swinging together was mentioned a long time ago and given the red card so that wasn’t an option.

I can understand when people won’t meet, shall we say, players because when you think about it, it is wrong, it is disrespectful, but that’s on the “player”. It’s when people are openly judgmental and refer to cheaters that you think... hang on a sec, swinging is an alternative lifestyle..... live and let live.

I love steak but I’ll have fish on occasion because that tastes good too

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing"
Trust and respect must have taken on a whole new meaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me it was variety that brought me to fab. It was easier than trying to pull some random girl when out clubbing occasionally. I was always upfront on or offline and maybe surprised offline how many women didn’t care.

The sex life has improved because I have stepped back from this and put the effort in. Swinging together was mentioned a long time ago and given the red card so that wasn’t an option.

I can understand when people won’t meet, shall we say, players because when you think about it, it is wrong, it is disrespectful, but that’s on the “player”. It’s when people are openly judgmental and refer to cheaters that you think... hang on a sec, swinging is an alternative lifestyle..... live and let live.

I love steak but I’ll have fish on occasion because that tastes good too

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing"

Nailed it

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"For me it was variety that brought me to fab. It was easier than trying to pull some random girl when out clubbing occasionally. I was always upfront on or offline and maybe surprised offline how many women didn’t care.

The sex life has improved because I have stepped back from this and put the effort in. Swinging together was mentioned a long time ago and given the red card so that wasn’t an option.

I can understand when people won’t meet, shall we say, players because when you think about it, it is wrong, it is disrespectful, but that’s on the “player”. It’s when people are openly judgmental and refer to cheaters that you think... hang on a sec, swinging is an alternative lifestyle..... live and let live.

I love steak but I’ll have fish on occasion because that tastes good too

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing"
true, but id still say most mainstream couples out there only want each other and nobody else and even if one or both parties did want to get into the swinging world, it's not an easy topic to bring up. I have said here numerous times I'm just here for my fun. I'd have no interest joining with a girlfriend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing"

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

"

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other..."

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater. "
I would imagine there is many reasons why a person cheats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater. "

Thats really cherry picking DH. Yes both acts can be defined as adultery. But they really are very different.

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

"

That is your opinion and I don’t agree with you. I understand that people do feel that way and I’m not expecting that to change. However, a bit less of the overt ‘judgyness’ please

Ultimately, while opportunities were missed it never really impacted my fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

That is your opinion and I don’t agree with you. I understand that people do feel that way and I’m not expecting that to change. However, a bit less of the overt ‘judgyness’ please

Ultimately, while opportunities were missed it never really impacted my fun."

Whether or not people are judgy isnt really the point I was making. Its the fact you assume swingers should automatically be more understanding is what I was pointing out as wrong.

Swinging is not infidelity amd visa versa. Its not the sleeping with someone else they are judging its the dishonesty towards the persons other half. Hence it not being hypocritical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whether or not people are judgy isnt really the point I was making. "

But it was the point I was making


"Its the fact you assume swingers should automatically be more understanding is what I was pointing out as wrong."

Did I actually say that?


"Swinging is not infidelity amd visa versa. Its not the sleeping with someone else they are judging its the dishonesty towards the persons other half. Hence it not being hypocritical

"

Is that a fact? Or maybe just your opinion...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whether or not people are judgy isnt really the point I was making.

But it was the point I was making

Its the fact you assume swingers should automatically be more understanding is what I was pointing out as wrong.

Did I actually say that?

Swinging is not infidelity amd visa versa. Its not the sleeping with someone else they are judging its the dishonesty towards the persons other half. Hence it not being hypocritical

Is that a fact? Or maybe just your opinion..."

In relation to point 1 and 2:

"It’s when people are openly judgmental and refer to cheaters that you think... hang on a sec, swinging is an alternative lifestyle..... live and let live."

This followed by calling people hypocritical for judging clearly shows a belief that swingers should be less judgemental that others.

As for point 3 if you believe that people who swing with each others consent are being unfaithful, I refer to my original post.. you really missunderstand the lifestyle you are referencing

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater.

Thats really cherry picking DH. Yes both acts can be defined as adultery. But they really are very different.

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

"

I'm simply looking at the act itself. Most of us are here because we have a high sex drive and love great sex. Some are lucky to share that with their partners others aren't but still seek/want/need some sexual joy in their life. Can you blame/judge them for that? Not saying it makes it right. It's in their conscience not yours. Our culture and society promotes monogamy and partner ownership, here on a swingers site that concept of sexual ownership is liberated yet you allow the liberation only to the one group while judging the others, not knowing their circumstances.

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By *undubguy100Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater.

Thats really cherry picking DH. Yes both acts can be defined as adultery. But they really are very different.

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

I'm simply looking at the act itself. Most of us are here because we have a high sex drive and love great sex. Some are lucky to share that with their partners others aren't but still seek/want/need some sexual joy in their life. Can you blame/judge them for that? Not saying it makes it right. It's in their conscience not yours. Our culture and society promotes monogamy and partner ownership, here on a swingers site that concept of sexual ownership is liberated yet you allow the liberation only to the one group while judging the others, not knowing their circumstances. "

Honestly Doghunter....that's it...in a nutshell. Well said. Nothing more to add

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater.

Thats really cherry picking DH. Yes both acts can be defined as adultery. But they really are very different.

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

I'm simply looking at the act itself. Most of us are here because we have a high sex drive and love great sex. Some are lucky to share that with their partners others aren't but still seek/want/need some sexual joy in their life. Can you blame/judge them for that? Not saying it makes it right. It's in their conscience not yours. Our culture and society promotes monogamy and partner ownership, here on a swingers site that concept of sexual ownership is liberated yet you allow the liberation only to the one group while judging the others, not knowing their circumstances. "

But you cant just take the act itself if you want to view it as hypocrisy because thats not the part that other swingers are judging. Whether or not anyone should judge is up to them really, but I dont see why someone who swings would be more inderstanding of dishonesty than someone who does not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe because being in the lifestyle for most people requires a degree of dishonesty..hiding it from family friends and colleagues.. As society sees it as something of a morally corrupt subculture..maybe that's where the assumption comes from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples on fab that have sex with others with or without their partners consent are cheating.

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By *undubguy100Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Couples on fab that have sex with others with or without their partners consent are cheating. "

Well why are you here? Hounds the mormons then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couples on fab that have sex with others with or without their partners consent are cheating.

Well why are you here? Hounds the mormons then lol"
Lots of single female's without bothered with the cheating couples.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"

I dont really care what others get up to personally but the argument that swingers should be more understanding of attached people playing away is just so off the mark.

It takes huge trust and mutual respect to swing with a partner which is the complete opposite of playing away.

We can live and let live but that mindset shows a misunderstanding of the lifestyle your referencing

I’m not looking for more understanding, far from it, I get what the problem is and was quite clear on that. All I was actually saying that some of the overt judgmental statements are somewhat hypocritical

Why would swingers being judgmental of someone cheating be hypocritical though? Unless they too are cheating? One is not the same as the other...

The hypocrisy lies in the distinguishing of good adultery and bad one. One is entitled to debauchery and the other one isn't, just because one has the perfect sexual relationship while the other hasn't, one is labelled a swinger and the other a cheater.

Thats really cherry picking DH. Yes both acts can be defined as adultery. But they really are very different.

Someone who sleeps with others with their partners consent and/or participation would not be a hypocrite for viewing someone that sleeps with others behind their partners back as wrong

I'm simply looking at the act itself. Most of us are here because we have a high sex drive and love great sex. Some are lucky to share that with their partners others aren't but still seek/want/need some sexual joy in their life. Can you blame/judge them for that? Not saying it makes it right. It's in their conscience not yours. Our culture and society promotes monogamy and partner ownership, here on a swingers site that concept of sexual ownership is liberated yet you allow the liberation only to the one group while judging the others, not knowing their circumstances.

But you cant just take the act itself if you want to view it as hypocrisy because thats not the part that other swingers are judging. Whether or not anyone should judge is up to them really, but I dont see why someone who swings would be more inderstanding of dishonesty than someone who does not"

It's the same principle swingers in general are frowned/judged upon by the vanilla world and have to hide their promiscuous sex life.

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