FabSwingers.com forum: Impaired ejaculation

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else understand this a bit more...

Im struggling with it now for the last few years and getting worse as time goes... i understand im getting older but can maintain erection, libido is okay but can never finish usually, might sound great and funny that i can fuck for hours and not cum but its draining for me and person im with

mainly by myself which is fustrating for me and who I am with that night.

whether im sober or d*unk its the same effect...

i get so close then just when i am close it disappears. Got a blood test by Gp just to discount underlying issues and feel it could be just a mental thing

any advice or help or point in the right direction would be grateful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if you got checked and physically there is no issue then its all on your mind , relax and stop thinking you can't do it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a tug with the intentions of just enjoying it, dont worry about having to finish. Once you enjoy it and just let it blow free you will cum in no length

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thxs guys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *crumtasticMan
over a year ago

D14

If you masturbate with porn then give that up. Take a break from masturbating for a week or two and give up looking at porn altogether. Desensitizes the real thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anorgasmia. Frustrating for both ( or all ??) now that medical stuff is ruled out it's time to examine your habits...do you masturbate 'dry', if so add whatever liquid suits you even if it's your spit as dry is kinda desensitizing you. Stop the porn. Reconnect with yourself. Yes really, stop the porn, stop the flicking onto the 'good bits' or ever more extreme stuff. Maybe you don't watch porn though, if so then the final advice is to sensualise more. A lot of guys end up having to be rougher and rougher with themselves to achieve orgasm.

If you are wanking dry and hard to porn - you need to recondition. It's not an overnight cure but not forever either .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you watched a lot of porn? Have you watched a lot of porn whilst wanking?

Without knowing your answers I know that porn is responsible for many guys experiencing exactly what you have described.

It seems to not be a physiological thing.... So the other thing you would benefit from exploring is if it is a psychological thing.

If you become used to having more of a stimulus (i.e. porn) during wanking then your head can get used to this and NEEDS some similar stimulus during sex too.

Give porn a break.... Cold turkey

.... No porn of ANY kind for a few months - yes, even during wanking and then see if your "condition" improves. I would recommend a break from self pleasure for a while too.

There are sex therapists out there that you could see to discuss all of this and if it continues to be an issue then I would recommend meeting one.

Hope this helps?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else understand this a bit more...

mainly by myself which is fustrating for me and who I am with that night.

whether im sober or d*unk its the same effect...

i get so close then just when i am close it disappears. Got a blood test by Gp just to discount underlying issues and feel it could be just a mental thing

any advice or help or point in the right direction would be grateful "

i've suffered from this in the past and while it's all great shagging for hours it does begin to get you down as you feel something is wrong. you did right by going to the doctor about it and get the physical side of it checked.

i got through by simply abstaining from wanking and trying not to let it play on my mind too much during sex. it is easier said then done however.

just remember to have fun during sex and you will eventually get over it. if you see someone regularly for sex suggest that you try different thing such as positions and dirty talk etc

there's no hard and fast rules. you just need to find what will help you so to speak. just remember it's all in our head. good luck OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommando4Man
over a year ago

South Co. Dublin

[Removed by poster at 18/06/19 17:49:55]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommando4Man
over a year ago

South Co. Dublin

I'm experiencing something similar but personally I see it as a plus ...do some cardio in the gym so that your fitness matches your sexual stamina and give your partner's something to scream about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t masturbate or use porn anymore but this did happen to me before when I was a compulsive self lover and porn addict. I never let it bother me and I don’t believe it ever had an adverse impact on a playmate.

It happened once since the abstinence when I just got “in the zone” after having to curl my toes early enough in the session. She loved it and maybe if I’d focused a bit more on letting go I might have cum but no biggie...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting topic op and one I think we have or will all have suffered from at some stage., refocusing by cutting down on porn I would say is a major one, as one poster said it desensitises especially from over use, and we can all be guilty of that..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

south side

"Interesting topic op and one I think we have or will all have suffered from at some stage., refocusing by cutting down on porn I would say is a major one, as one poster said it desensitises especially from over use, and we can all be guilty of that.. "

Good suggestions from people here. If you Google "retarded ejaculation" you will come across the work of Carl Jung, Wilhelm Reich, and Alexander Lowen. They all write about this subject and all seem to come to the same conclusion about its likely cause. One method of allowing your body to feel more pleasure is to re programme your erotic mind... A few ways,.. Stop watching porn... Stop masturbating, for 30days..have a very erotic massage, with no happy ending... After 30 days, recommence masturbating.. Standing up, outdoors, or in places and positions very different from the past. Enjoy the adventure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks guys i really appreciate the help and some great things there for me to take away

good to know I am not alone

Porn isnt over kill as i can only cum once maybe every 2/3rd day but i will stop watching and touching myself

i got into some dark humilation videos and felt i needed to be shamed into cumming so feel i do need a step back

my issue started when i was young when fixating not cumming first or too early and making the female orgasm id lose focus on my enjoyment maybe i need to find that fun again somehow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Try sticking stuff up your bum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try sticking stuff up your bum."

sure

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The simple fact of using porn impairs your ability to appreciate the real thing. Whether you cum or edge is irrelevant. Seriously, give it up completely and you’ll be amazed at how the body reacts.

"thanks guys i really appreciate the help and some great things there for me to take away

good to know I am not alone

Porn isnt over kill as i can only cum once maybe every 2/3rd day but i will stop watching and touching myself

i got into some dark humilation videos and felt i needed to be shamed into cumming so feel i do need a step back

my issue started when i was young when fixating not cumming first or too early and making the female orgasm id lose focus on my enjoyment maybe i need to find that fun again somehow"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

im gonna stop the porn and stay away from wanking for a while

also ive taken some other good advice and going to speak to someone with possibly reconnecting with my body

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourierdatfuckswifesMan
over a year ago

the mirror

Try fuck sum 1 ur attracted 2, rather Dan anything with a pulse...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try fuck sum 1 ur attracted 2, rather Dan anything with a pulse..."

I was so impressed with the intelligent and mature responses up until this one..... There is ALWAYS one gobshite isn't there??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrodMan
over a year ago

moira

"Try fuck sum 1 ur attracted 2, rather Dan anything with a pulse..."

Who let the 13 year old play with the phone huh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try fuck sum 1 ur attracted 2, rather Dan anything with a pulse...

I was so impressed with the intelligent and mature responses up until this one..... There is ALWAYS one gobshite isn't there??

nice to see there a good people in here and the messages i have gotten a=have helped so much

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try fuck sum 1 ur attracted 2, rather Dan anything with a pulse...

Who let the 13 year old play with the phone huh? "

there is always one childish remark

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrodMan
over a year ago

moira

This is an issue I'm more aware of than most I'd say. I guess it's equivalent to turning vegetarian. In that case you'd need to take the focus off meat being the centre of the meal and view the veg as more than just a side.

For me, I changed how I view sex away being a lot of fun stuff leading up to an orgasm and ejaculation (and repeat as required). Now I'm viewing foreplay as a goal or end result in its own right. Not just a preamble to me blowing my load and not even necessarily leading to full sex. I also got used to not having a climax to a night of fun, no big sign-off to signal an end to the night.

Doing this let me explore other things that turned me on and really broadened my horizons of what sex means to me.

Doing this may take away the mental pressure to ejaculate and with that freedom maybe it'll return anyway. And when it does it'll be a smaller issue as the other parts of sex will have greater importance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you masturbate often?

Do you think about sex often?

Do you take any supplements?

Do you see porn of naked ladies often?

Do you do sports often?

Do you seat in front of a computer often?

Do you easy get stressed or worried?

Do you have anxiety issues?

Do you have any past mental/family trauma?

If you said yes to one or a few of those, than they must be rid of... Simple as...

I used to have a natural vitamin combined with another muscle gain supplement, plus a super healthy based on almost no meat of any type, and I lasted forever without cumming (I could control it easily, sometimes I didn't cum because I didn't want to on purpose, the lady had to rest at times...)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnrodMan
over a year ago

moira

Do you easy get stressed or worried?

Do you have anxiety issues?

Do you have any past mental/family trauma?

If you said yes to one or a few of those, than they must be rid of... Simple as...

Stressed/suffering from anxiety? Past family trauma?

Aye, sure just get rid of them, it'll help you cum.

People suffering from these issues wouldn't find this remedy as easy as your flippant comment would make it seem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you easy get stressed or worried?

Do you have anxiety issues?

Do you have any past mental/family trauma?

If you said yes to one or a few of those, than they must be rid of... Simple as...

Stressed/suffering from anxiety? Past family trauma?

Aye, sure just get rid of them, it'll help you cum.

People suffering from these issues wouldn't find this remedy as easy as your flippant comment would make it seem. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you easy get stressed or worried?

Do you have anxiety issues?

Do you have any past mental/family trauma?

If you said yes to one or a few of those, than they must be rid of... Simple as...

Stressed/suffering from anxiety? Past family trauma?

Aye, sure just get rid of them, it'll help you cum.

People suffering from these issues wouldn't find this remedy as easy as your flippant comment would make it seem. "

Reminds about my past flatmate on my last house. My GF was about to stay over in my place for the long bank holiday (she wanted to stay in bed for two days straight) I was throwing hints every week for three weeks before the long bank holidays week a few months ago. As he was never at home on weekends and I thought that he would be away on that weekend too(after knowing my gf was here). For the fck and sake, the dude stayed in his room beside mine the entire bank holiday (I wanted to "kill him") and the house has a very poor sound proof, so we had to mind the noise management, and I was so stress that willie wasn't working as he supposed to work... But the week after I passed a few nights in her house without the stress and with the all peace of mind possible, booooy willie didn't disappoint us even after a good hike, he was stiff as fck...

the other few weekends after the Fckr stayed away as usual... Thanks God I am not there anymore...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you easy get stressed or worried?

Do you have anxiety issues?

Do you have any past mental/family trauma?

If you said yes to one or a few of those, than they must be rid of... Simple as...

Stressed/suffering from anxiety? Past family trauma?

Aye, sure just get rid of them, it'll help you cum.

People suffering from these issues wouldn't find this remedy as easy as your flippant comment would make it seem.

the other few weekends after the Fckr stayed away as usual... Thanks God I am not there anymore..."

Have a look at "David Goggins" (whatever excuse you wanna give)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is an issue I'm more aware of than most I'd say. I guess it's equivalent to turning vegetarian. In that case you'd need to take the focus off meat being the centre of the meal and view the veg as more than just a side.

Doing this let me explore other things that turned me on and really broadened my horizons of what sex means to me.

thanks... im working on it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocoholicWoman
over a year ago

The big D

When I read d op post I thought fair play for d honesty & my 2nd thought was this prob won’t go down well butttttt apart from 1 or 2 really stupid replies that show d immaturity of d posters, everyone else replies were decent & helpful, some topics are hard to talk abt, kinda like mental health back then & men’s stuff is one of them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Try sticking stuff up your bum.

sure "

Well, how did it go? trying stuff you see as taboo can help a lot.

I know a girl who had an orgasm block, being tied to a tree, fucked in the ass bareback, anal cream pied, and then rimmed made her cum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try sticking stuff up your bum.

sure

Well, how did it go? trying stuff you see as taboo can help a lot.

I know a girl who had an orgasm block, being tied to a tree, fucked in the ass bareback, anal cream pied, and then rimmed made her cum."

What type of tree?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"Try sticking stuff up your bum.

sure

Well, how did it go? trying stuff you see as taboo can help a lot.

I know a girl who had an orgasm block, being tied to a tree, fucked in the ass bareback, anal cream pied, and then rimmed made her cum.

What type of tree?"

Christmas tree, Well it was in the Dublin mountains so i think one of them christmas trees. I wasn't there though she just told me about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Try sticking stuff up your bum.

sure

Well, how did it go? trying stuff you see as taboo can help a lot.

I know a girl who had an orgasm block, being tied to a tree, fucked in the ass bareback, anal cream pied, and then rimmed made her cum.

What type of tree?

Christmas tree, Well it was in the Dublin mountains so i think one of them christmas trees. I wasn't there though she just told me about it."

Was there baubles on it? That's a sure sign.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

4weeks in no porn is working a treat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4weeks in no porn is working a treat"

Delighted to hear that.... Fair dues for sharing your part in the first place. Can't have been easy knowing the level of immaturity on here on a GOOD day!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oreThanOnceMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"4weeks in no porn is working a treat"

We should make this post a "sticky"... pun intended.

On another nope, well done OP!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

south side

"4weeks in no porn is working a treat"

Great. Your nervous system is rewiring itself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

sounds like dehydration to me..drink a pint and a half of hot water upon wakening up every morning..youll be shooting out massive loads in no time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allyWally19Woman
over a year ago

The Road to Nowhere

"4weeks in no porn is working a treat"

Fair play OP. Similar situation with my ex (not the reason for break up I might add). And it became disheartening for me also.

We abstained completely for almost the 4 weeks (extreeeeemly difficult) and it seemed to right itself

Best of luck!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4weeks in no porn is working a treat"

Well done!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certain medications can also screw up your ability to climax. painkillers such as tramadol, some antidepressants and Also certain anxiolytics.

Glad to hear it’s improving for you OP..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread