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Virginity - if you knew then what you know now

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By *urydiceRising OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be a bit more clued up on what the hell I was supposed to do lol

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By *undubguy100Man
over a year ago

Dublin

As above Eurydice....and maybe with someone else...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is losing your virginity a planned event, yes lads hope to lose it, but when least expected it happens, well mine did anyway... & the plans, thoughts went out the window ... now if your talking 1st Fab meet Virginity, well yes I would like to have done that differently, but inhind sight I did enjoy the event & you learn from every experience ... so different...well maybe not ... itd the journey not the destination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing really, it's not a huge deal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just do it in doors, the side of a field isn't as classy now looking back on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t change anything really, well perhaps that it wasn’t on a made up bed on the floor of a friends house (but equally I’m not a rose petals and candles type of woman!) but it was part of one of the best weekends of fun with friends as a student and with the man I married and with whom I’ve had endless fun with since

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By *urydiceRising OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"is losing your virginity a planned event, yes lads hope to lose it, but when least expected it happens, well mine did anyway... & the plans, thoughts went out the window ... now if your talking 1st Fab meet Virginity, well yes I would like to have done that differently, but inhind sight I did enjoy the event & you learn from every experience ... so different...well maybe not ... itd the journey not the destination "

Planning wasn't mentioned in my question. What would you DO differently. Not rush? Not be afraid of what you didn't know or understand? Let your body find its own way and get out of your thoughts? Be more focused on the other person and less afraid or self conscious? Did you miss anything that you only figured out later and thought - 'Fuck, I wish I had known that all along' - and if you could apply that, what would that be?

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By *urydiceRising OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"I wouldn’t change anything really, well perhaps that it wasn’t on a made up bed on the floor of a friends house (but equally I’m not a rose petals and candles type of woman!) but it was part of one of the best weekends of fun with friends as a student and with the man I married and with whom I’ve had endless fun with since "

That is beautiful! Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luckily Kaizers is still intact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change the person and the location for someone and somewhere a lot better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn’t change anything really, well perhaps that it wasn’t on a made up bed on the floor of a friends house (but equally I’m not a rose petals and candles type of woman!) but it was part of one of the best weekends of fun with friends as a student and with the man I married and with whom I’ve had endless fun with since "

Now THAT is AWESOME !!! and may l Sincerely wish you both many many more endless fun times...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?"

In hindsight...if l knew back then what l was to discover throughout my life ...a different lady...and maybe 4 years earlier...

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By *urydiceRising OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?

In hindsight...if l knew back then what l was to discover throughout my life ...a different lady...and maybe 4 years earlier..."

Now that I find fascinating. Why did you wait? Had you wanted to earlier and held off because of...morality? I'm not trying to pry, I'm terribly curious.

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By *ildmovementMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?"

I would have mastrubated before hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm personally waited until I found the right lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?"

Still waiting to get rid of my pen virginity done plenty of oral but none of the good stuff

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By *elfastDMan
over a year ago

belfast

I’d have done it earlier

It opened a whole new fantastic world to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?

In hindsight...if l knew back then what l was to discover throughout my life ...a different lady...and maybe 4 years earlier...

Now that I find fascinating. Why did you wait? Had you wanted to earlier and held off because of...morality? I'm not trying to pry, I'm terribly curious. "

Yup..correct on both counts...was fierce shy & quite..still a lot to this day to be honest but wayyyyyyyyyy more relaxed regards Everything now ..all going through life l suppose..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Planning wasn't mentioned in my question. What would you DO differently. Not rush? Not be afraid of what you didn't know or understand? Let your body find its own way and get out of your thoughts? Be more focused on the other person and less afraid or self conscious? Did you miss anything that you only figured out later and thought - 'Fuck, I wish I had known that all along' - and if you could apply that, what would that be? "

as a young lads you are always hoping for that 1st ride, the losing of your cherry, their is always a plan ... but best laid plans

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Wouldn't change anything.

It was kinda perfect.

Swapped rather than lost it.

Double bed and a free house, so lots of time for everything and the second time same night was much better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?"

Nothing. Mine was perfect (excl pain).

I think our first time should be done with the person we love and trust and planned not just a quick shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife who i married earlier this year is still a virgin i reckon...kinda worried about popping her and what her reaction will be during and after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in the boyfriends dads car at that back of the industrial estate

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown


"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?"

--------------------------

Strong christian upbringing with hang ups around sex made my first experience a nerve wracking one

As bad as it was, do you know what?

I wouldn't change it at all now ...as it inspire me to go and study more about tantra and better sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I hadn't been so shy,I'd have taken one of the surprisingly obvious offers from two or three more mature ladies!(not all together I hasten to add!)..and by more mature I.mean late 20s to early 40s,..I was only a teenager!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/19 23:19:17]

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

My first time was a bit pornoish, hotel room, face down, ass up, stepping over her, fucking her till she squirted all over my balls.

It turned her into a bit of a slut, so if i could have done it without making her a cock addict it would have been good.

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By *irishladMan
over a year ago

Malahide

I wouldn’t rip my banjo string

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By *B 2001Man
over a year ago

Donegal

Nothing lovely girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would have done it in a classier place, in a toilet under the stairs doesn't scream romance

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

Not give it to someone that doesn't deserve it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was with my first love, on a rug, in front of a fire.

Seriously, it was.

First time for both of us.

I’d be more aware of her pleasure if I did it again

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

Had no clue what we where doing but all these years later we re still married and still shagging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would do it again as I did , wasn't the best sex ever , I was 14 she was 13 , then a few days later had the cops at my door , took me away cause she was a runaway and underage , my luck was that I was underage too , scared the hell out of me about sex but now at distance I laugh at it cause the story involves much more

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By *ickNamelessMan
over a year ago

Valencia, Spain, Dublin, Cork

Eurydice, thanks for providing us with an opportunity to think, reminisce and reflect. It has been interesting to read other people’s thoughts, and here are some based on my experiences. It made me think of virginity in a wider sense than just the first penetrative sex. I remembered the first kiss, mutual fondling, the first oral and anal sex, the first threesome, the first foursome, the first time with a man. I also regretfully remembered the firsts that didn’t happen. Thinking back, there are few regrets and many sweet memories. The main thread that runs through most of the firsts and missed opportunities is a wish to have understood the other party/parties’ signals better, to have been braver, more giving and more communicative.

With the first exhilarating kiss, I would have returned it and repeated it. She was brave, I wasn’t. With the first girl who touched me, I would have gone further than just rubbing her crotch through her jeans. But we did have full intercourse two months later, and although it felt like a triumph, the quality of the sex was not great for either of us. I would have spent longer in her arms after the fact. We never did it again, moved to different places for study. I wish we had done more together and spoken more. We were nervous, fumbling and too shy and inexperienced to communicate well.

The first threesome started fantastically and ended in a tense situation between the couple I was visiting. What I should have done differently was not to let her ride me while he went to the bathroom. She had done the same earlier, and he and I had continued playing, and that hadn’t been a problem. What had been great ended up in an argument between them and my hurried departure. It must also have been a lesson for them to make their rules of engagement clear. I ran into her in a supermarket months later, we exchanged glances and smiles, but we never met again.

The first foursome was amazing, but some things would be done differently in hindsight. It happened spontaneously in a club. Well, spontaneously in the sense that we went with the intention of playing with another couple or my then girlfriend playing with a woman or more. But we didn’t know what would happen – if anything – and with whom. If I were to do it again, it would be in a different environment, either a hotel or the home of one of the couples. I would have liked to spend more time after/between sexual contact. It happened rather quickly and we left shortly after some very exciting play, feeling simultaneously awkward and on a high. I wish we had stayed, talked and enjoyed their company on a more personal level.

As for firsts that didn’t happen and may therefore be considered “nevers” was the teacher who hit on me. I was 18, she was 26, and at that time in my life it seemed like a generational difference. The day I passed her oral exam (sic.) with flying colours and she stopped being my teacher, we ended up early in the evening drinking wine in a café. When my friend left, she asked what my plans for the evening were, and I said I was just going home. She touched my thigh and said “B (her journalist boyfriend and later husband) is abroad, I want you to stay with me tonight.” I panicked when she tried to kiss me and left. A couple of decades later I wish I had had the courage to spend the night with her. I had technically ceased to be her student, I was legally an adult and free to pursue my desires. I hadn’t felt any sexual desire for her until then, but I did the moment I knew she wanted me. The breaking of a taboo was alluring.

Another first that wasn’t was “the Indian dormitory incident.” A young Frenchwoman and I were the only guests in a guesthouse in India and slept in the same dormitory-style room. We had chatted the evening before and gone to beds facing each other, with me perceiving no sign that she might be interested in me, although I found her attractive. When I woke up the next morning, she was awake. She smiled and looked at me, took her knickers off and started to masturbate and touch her breasts, looking me into the eye. As with the teacher, this sudden eruption of female sexuality made me panic. I quickly went to the bathroom. She felt very embarrassed and got dressed, and it was awkward and unpleasant. In this case, I would retrospectively have responded to her invitation and gone wherever it would have led us.

We learn from our experiences, and the main lesson for me is to be more confident, to be more attuned to sexual semiotics and to interpret signals correctly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Eurydice, thanks for providing us with an opportunity to think, reminisce and reflect. It has been interesting to read other people’s thoughts, and here are some based on my experiences. It made me think of virginity in a wider sense than just the first penetrative sex. I remembered the first kiss, mutual fondling, the first oral and anal sex, the first threesome, the first foursome, the first time with a man. I also regretfully remembered the firsts that didn’t happen. Thinking back, there are few regrets and many sweet memories. The main thread that runs through most of the firsts and missed opportunities is a wish to have understood the other party/parties’ signals better, to have been braver, more giving and more communicative.

With the first exhilarating kiss, I would have returned it and repeated it. She was brave, I wasn’t. With the first girl who touched me, I would have gone further than just rubbing her crotch through her jeans. But we did have full intercourse two months later, and although it felt like a triumph, the quality of the sex was not great for either of us. I would have spent longer in her arms after the fact. We never did it again, moved to different places for study. I wish we had done more together and spoken more. We were nervous, fumbling and too shy and inexperienced to communicate well.

The first threesome started fantastically and ended in a tense situation between the couple I was visiting. What I should have done differently was not to let her ride me while he went to the bathroom. She had done the same earlier, and he and I had continued playing, and that hadn’t been a problem. What had been great ended up in an argument between them and my hurried departure. It must also have been a lesson for them to make their rules of engagement clear. I ran into her in a supermarket months later, we exchanged glances and smiles, but we never met again.

The first foursome was amazing, but some things would be done differently in hindsight. It happened spontaneously in a club. Well, spontaneously in the sense that we went with the intention of playing with another couple or my then girlfriend playing with a woman or more. But we didn’t know what would happen – if anything – and with whom. If I were to do it again, it would be in a different environment, either a hotel or the home of one of the couples. I would have liked to spend more time after/between sexual contact. It happened rather quickly and we left shortly after some very exciting play, feeling simultaneously awkward and on a high. I wish we had stayed, talked and enjoyed their company on a more personal level.

As for firsts that didn’t happen and may therefore be considered “nevers” was the teacher who hit on me. I was 18, she was 26, and at that time in my life it seemed like a generational difference. The day I passed her oral exam (sic.) with flying colours and she stopped being my teacher, we ended up early in the evening drinking wine in a café. When my friend left, she asked what my plans for the evening were, and I said I was just going home. She touched my thigh and said “B (her journalist boyfriend and later husband) is abroad, I want you to stay with me tonight.” I panicked when she tried to kiss me and left. A couple of decades later I wish I had had the courage to spend the night with her. I had technically ceased to be her student, I was legally an adult and free to pursue my desires. I hadn’t felt any sexual desire for her until then, but I did the moment I knew she wanted me. The breaking of a taboo was alluring.

Another first that wasn’t was “the Indian dormitory incident.” A young Frenchwoman and I were the only guests in a guesthouse in India and slept in the same dormitory-style room. We had chatted the evening before and gone to beds facing each other, with me perceiving no sign that she might be interested in me, although I found her attractive. When I woke up the next morning, she was awake. She smiled and looked at me, took her knickers off and started to masturbate and touch her breasts, looking me into the eye. As with the teacher, this sudden eruption of female sexuality made me panic. I quickly went to the bathroom. She felt very embarrassed and got dressed, and it was awkward and unpleasant. In this case, I would retrospectively have responded to her invitation and gone wherever it would have led us.

We learn from our experiences, and the main lesson for me is to be more confident, to be more attuned to sexual semiotics and to interpret signals correctly.

"

Hey... AWESOME post..thank you so much for sharing... Brilliant read my friend...can't lie there were times also I my life that a lady was maybe " more interested " in me than l could see...and tell you the truth ..at the age l was ..it was the music that l was really into ...so much so l suppose l didn't notice anything else ...happy to say that today ..the two things that keep my life moving ...sex & music ...thanks again for writing a brilliant piece ..

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By *urydiceRising OP   Woman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Eurydice, thanks for providing us with an opportunity to think, reminisce and reflect. It has been interesting to read other people’s thoughts, and here are some based on my experiences. It made me think of virginity in a wider sense than just the first penetrative sex. I remembered the first kiss, mutual fondling, the first oral and anal sex, the first threesome, the first foursome, the first time with a man. I also regretfully remembered the firsts that didn’t happen. Thinking back, there are few regrets and many sweet memories. The main thread that runs through most of the firsts and missed opportunities is a wish to have understood the other party/parties’ signals better, to have been braver, more giving and more communicative.

With the first exhilarating kiss, I would have returned it and repeated it. She was brave, I wasn’t. With the first girl who touched me, I would have gone further than just rubbing her crotch through her jeans. But we did have full intercourse two months later, and although it felt like a triumph, the quality of the sex was not great for either of us. I would have spent longer in her arms after the fact. We never did it again, moved to different places for study. I wish we had done more together and spoken more. We were nervous, fumbling and too shy and inexperienced to communicate well.

The first threesome started fantastically and ended in a tense situation between the couple I was visiting. What I should have done differently was not to let her ride me while he went to the bathroom. She had done the same earlier, and he and I had continued playing, and that hadn’t been a problem. What had been great ended up in an argument between them and my hurried departure. It must also have been a lesson for them to make their rules of engagement clear. I ran into her in a supermarket months later, we exchanged glances and smiles, but we never met again.

The first foursome was amazing, but some things would be done differently in hindsight. It happened spontaneously in a club. Well, spontaneously in the sense that we went with the intention of playing with another couple or my then girlfriend playing with a woman or more. But we didn’t know what would happen – if anything – and with whom. If I were to do it again, it would be in a different environment, either a hotel or the home of one of the couples. I would have liked to spend more time after/between sexual contact. It happened rather quickly and we left shortly after some very exciting play, feeling simultaneously awkward and on a high. I wish we had stayed, talked and enjoyed their company on a more personal level.

As for firsts that didn’t happen and may therefore be considered “nevers” was the teacher who hit on me. I was 18, she was 26, and at that time in my life it seemed like a generational difference. The day I passed her oral exam (sic.) with flying colours and she stopped being my teacher, we ended up early in the evening drinking wine in a café. When my friend left, she asked what my plans for the evening were, and I said I was just going home. She touched my thigh and said “B (her journalist boyfriend and later husband) is abroad, I want you to stay with me tonight.” I panicked when she tried to kiss me and left. A couple of decades later I wish I had had the courage to spend the night with her. I had technically ceased to be her student, I was legally an adult and free to pursue my desires. I hadn’t felt any sexual desire for her until then, but I did the moment I knew she wanted me. The breaking of a taboo was alluring.

Another first that wasn’t was “the Indian dormitory incident.” A young Frenchwoman and I were the only guests in a guesthouse in India and slept in the same dormitory-style room. We had chatted the evening before and gone to beds facing each other, with me perceiving no sign that she might be interested in me, although I found her attractive. When I woke up the next morning, she was awake. She smiled and looked at me, took her knickers off and started to masturbate and touch her breasts, looking me into the eye. As with the teacher, this sudden eruption of female sexuality made me panic. I quickly went to the bathroom. She felt very embarrassed and got dressed, and it was awkward and unpleasant. In this case, I would retrospectively have responded to her invitation and gone wherever it would have led us.

We learn from our experiences, and the main lesson for me is to be more confident, to be more attuned to sexual semiotics and to interpret signals correctly.

"

Thank you for this - the writing, the revealing, the intimate sharing. It's beautiful. The teacher part of me is in awe of the teacher that took the chance with you - irrespective of the outcome.

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By *ickNamelessMan
over a year ago

Valencia, Spain, Dublin, Cork

The teacher is now in another profession, divorced. When her by then ex-husband turned from journalism to politics, it became public knowledge that they had been swingers and he an alcoholic. In this Internet age, information is easy to find. I sometimes think about emailing her.

On the idea of virginity, I remember how in some times and places it means vaginal penetration. I had a North African friend who was happy when his 25 year old girlfriend married a 50 year old man: finally, he could graduate from oral and anal sex. What mattered was the hymen and propriety. My friend thought the husband knew and accepted what was going on, the marriage was about family politics not sex.

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