FabSwingers.com forum: Rejection Hurts - How do you handle rejection on Fab

By *oreThanOnce OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

I was chatting to someone few days ago and the person was laughing at the fact, that they had several coffee meets, back to back with three people, the same day during lunch. It was more of a game for them.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

The worst case scenario, is when you meet for a coffee, the chemistry is there (at least in your mind), the chats are very intense before and after the coffee meet, but then the moment of truth comes and the play meet never actually happens due to all sorts of excuses.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

I went to the Paul Young gig last night, it was surprisingly good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to the Paul Young gig last night, it was surprisingly good. "

Fuck Off !

I had such a crush on him 25yrs ago !

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

"I went to the Paul Young gig last night, it was surprisingly good.

Fuck Off !

I had such a crush on him 25yrs ago ! "

I won't lie LW he's aged well and he's still got the moves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

People should just respect each other both on Fab and in real life.

This should work both ways. People here need to respect no means no and no explanation is necessary but lining people up and going yes no is low in my opinion.

I think though to be on Fab you do need to be fairly thick skinned.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

"Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

it's tough. But you have to move with the wind, good days and bad days. It's good to have some vanilla friends to hang out with after a rejection like this, and maybe some old fashioned moaning with the lads and a pint. But remember, for every man you know, they have sisters, daughters... And a mother... Who might be a match for you... Dozens of em. It's just a case of letting them see you. Fab is only one way of finding a mate. There are many others.

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By *andytownMan
over a year ago

Gods Own Country

Usually have a Thomas the Tank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

Well said sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take it personal.. Men are ten a penny and women are spoilt for choice online.

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By *oreThanOnce OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Don't take it personal.. Men are ten a penny and women are spoilt for choice online.

I don't

, it is a forum post for everyone to share their opinions and experiences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't b arse holes just a yes or no at the start will b fine don't waste people's time...ffs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

Rejection hurts if you let it. Also if that is happening alot then you must try something else. Find a solution/plan rather than feeling hurt over it. Go to partys socials or clubs are good, you will get loads of verifications at them. There you go solution right there.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My personal experience of this site so far is that women are ghosts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

Well, it hurts only if you allow...

Please don't think about it as a something bad. It's really hard to find the right person. I'm here over 8 months and I wanted to delete the account because of receiving of plenty abusive messages. Profile was hidden for a while. I'm glad that didn't delete it because after New Year I met few really great people with whom I can honestly say it will be an honour to have them as my friends. So what that with extras?!

Every small thing matters! Grab everything what has been given to you and enjoy it! Life is too short to think about bad things. Change your approach and have a joy in your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know I don't get any mail or match what anyone is interested not had anyone near me look at me in weeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I joined I was actively looking for meets on here but there had to be something very interesting shinning through on the profile of any woman I wanted to meet. I met and enjoyed the chat and banter with far more than I ended up playing with.

I think if you enjoy the social aspects of Fab and see it predominantly as society of like minded sexually liberal people, with the occasional opportunity of clicking on both a personality and chemistry level, then you have realistic and healthy expectations of it.

It would be a far bigger deal to be met with a lot of rejection on a dating site, but for all their similarities, both kinds of sites are very different things.

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By *andydevineMan
over a year ago

sligo

It's a numbers game. If its a no be nice have manners and go again. It's a fuck I'm after not a life long commitment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have done a lot of social meets where they weren't interested.

Have mailed people where there been no reply

Have been ignored

Have been dropped for other meets

Have been been blocked by guys for saying no

Fab is only a very small part of ur life

If u going get upset and feel rejected u need to grow a thicker skin or decide fab aint for ya.

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By *oreThanOnce OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Have done a lot of social meets where they weren't interested.

Have mailed people where there been no reply

Have been ignored

Have been dropped for other meets

Have been been blocked by guys for saying no

Fab is only a very small part of ur life

If u going get upset and feel rejected u need to grow a thicker skin or decide fab aint for ya.

We grow as individuals from our experiences and getting upset and feeling rejected is a normal human reaction, nothing to be ashamed of.

Hopefully in time, we become immune and accept it as a normal occurrence.

I personally block someone if they aren't interested, just to make sure I don't contact them again, so I don't waste their time, nothing personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick around long enough u will get immune to it

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By *hiaboutMan
over a year ago

johnstown

Correct hotsy it takes a thick skin to survive lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection ?.... their loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep certainly is hurtful, but it's worth it as you move along

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

Totally agree.

Well said.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

How do I handle rejection?

To the person who rejects me: 'oh OK... Erm right... No problem... Nothing ventured...' with a forced cheery smile.

To myself in my head: 'what the fuck were you thinking??' while frantically looking about for a rock to crawl under or crevasse to open in the ground.

If I get to the point where I'm risking rejection, I've already built up a connection and rapport and really really fancy someone... They're not just a whim or chancing my arm... So yeah, of course it will sting. That's life though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strangely enough I've not had to handle a whole lot of rejection here, I guess mostly because I'm very choosey about who I play with but in saying that I've had my fair share both here and IRL

Rejection though is something you'll face throughout life be it for a job or a realtionship, you just have to deal with this an accept you can't be everyone's ideal candidate.

People who can't face rejection are really going to find the real world difficult

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

It hurts yes but if we think long enough, we will realise that we might have done it to others as well.

Just find another one who accept you and have fun to forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had far more hurtful experiences in the "real" world, being turned down or - as is more likely to happen here - just "ghosted" by virtual acquaintances is not something that troubles me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv got to a stage on here where I'd be surprised if I wasn't rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surprisingly I got rejected by my French neighbour

My heart is bleeding.

I bet he can't live in shame being a total loser in badminton and Makao

Hmm men don't like competition with women, especially when they arses are beaten. Too proud to congratulate that the best won

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By *oreThanOnce OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Iv got to a stage on here where I'd be surprised if I wasn't rejected "

Pleasantly surprised, I am sure

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I'm fairly happy to be rejected. I would rather they be happy with someone they like than settle for me.

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
over a year ago

Magical Forrest

Rejection is not nice.

Accept it and move on.

Dwelling on it wastes time.

But if you want to waste time go ahead.

I for one have been rejected,meets not shown up,last minute or not even a text about not making it to coffee,regular fuck buddy who ghosted me from one day to the next,real life date who got cold feet when it came to sex....

Thicker skin and move on.

Timewasters everywhere.

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By *undubguy100Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Have done a lot of social meets where they weren't interested.

Have mailed people where there been no reply

Have been ignored

Have been dropped for other meets

Have been been blocked by guys for saying no

Fab is only a very small part of ur life

If u going get upset and feel rejected u need to grow a thicker skin or decide fab aint for ya.

Well said hotsy...very true...I never not reply...just good manners

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"Rejection is hard and it always hurts. It usually hurts more than expected.

When you finally get a message back and start chatting, you might even get to move to a Kik chat.

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

But more often then not, the chat doesn't take off, you try to put some effort into your messages but all you get is yes or no, maybe or not sure, one word messages back.

Finally you ask them if you are wasting their time.

We are all adults and we should learn from every experience good or bad, learn how to figure out if someone wants to meet or if it won't go beyond the chat stage.

Wouldn't stress about rejection on here it's not really equatable to reality,get rejected here get onto someone else and get over it

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

It's hardly rejection Op as let's face it...

THEY DON"T KNOW THE REAL YOU

You chat online, a convo starts

they

or she

asks for a pic

and then...

"SORRY, YOU"RE NOT MY TYPE"

Believe it or not...

...they're the one's I respect as

- they've been upfront with you and

-they're are not going to waste any more

of your precious time

So, delete message... and "NEXT!"

A defeastest attitude ends more potential meets

than any "rejections" dished out here...

So, start focusing on your good points

and best start believing in yourself!

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By *oreThanOnce OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"How do I handle rejection?

To the person who rejects me: 'oh OK... Erm right... No problem... Nothing ventured...' with a forced cheery smile.

To myself in my head: 'what the fuck were you thinking??' while frantically looking about for a rock to crawl under or crevasse to open in the ground.

I've been there, done that so many times... Yeah it does sting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

same way we handle it in the vanilla world. we get up dust ourselves off and move on. may feel like someone kicked you in the gut but no point dwelling on it. life is too short

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By *omripleyMan
over a year ago

blackrock

there must be 20 if not more guys for every one girl here. buyers market. I was on here with my ex as a couple and zero effort needed. As a single guy you have to try crazy hard becasue of all the weirdos. so dont take it to heart its not personal. When i was park of a couple we could get 15 messages a day and well if we were only doing one meet a month...... you get the point

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By *iscreet_guy_wcMan
over a year ago

City Centre

I accept it, it's not me to try and pick apart reasons why I'm not someone's type. Accept, wish them well and move on. Should be a no brainer

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"I accept it, it's not me to try and pick apart reasons why I'm not someone's type. Accept, wish them well and move on. Should be a no brainer

--------------------

Suppose it depends on how you interpret it

For one guy who gets no replies and no meets, it's "rejection"

...whereas if it's another guy who chats to twice as many women

and gets a few meets, just means "not interested" or "not to be" so don't analyse & move on fast

All about perspective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

Have yet to get that far.

I get a lot of rejection in terms of messages being ignored. I don’t take it personally, the ladies here are swamped in messages.

But that raises the question of do you take that as rejection and move on, or do you try again in case she never saw your first message?

I’ve had replies saying “sorry, not for me”, and while it’s disappointing, it’s good to know where I stand, and won’t bother her again.

I know the ladies can’t reply to every message, but I’m grateful to those who do, even those who say “no thank you”.

But the lady who said “fuck off cunt” to my polite message, that was a bit much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then you exchange face pics, even meet for a coffee.

Have yet to get that far.

I get a lot of rejection in terms of messages being ignored. I don’t take it personally, the ladies here are swamped in messages.

But that raises the question of do you take that as rejection and move on, or do you try again in case she never saw your first message?

I’ve had replies saying “sorry, not for me”, and while it’s disappointing, it’s good to know where I stand, and won’t bother her again.

I know the ladies can’t reply to every message, but I’m grateful to those who do, even those who say “no thank you”.

But the lady who said “fuck off cunt” to my polite message, that was a bit much

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