FabSwingers.com forum: Serious question

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call the samaritans. They are more equipped for this kind of thing. I really hope you get better and wish you all the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's always someone to talk to,try the Samaritans first and hang on in there.hope things improve soon for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a big line wrote out for wot u shud do , but thn i deleted it , as u prob heard it all before , the first step is the hardest , but there is options , there is always help , , stay strong

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to"

Hey dude I really hope this helps. Whenever I feel like the walls are closing in and I have that heaviness inside I accept the moment for what it is and remind myself that it will pass. Every time in my life when I felt out of control has come and go and I can look back at them and accept that they were not as important as I felt "in the moment" chin up dude the day always follows the night.

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Lows are part and parcel of life but remember you have been loe before and came out of it.Dont dwell on it,try to go for a walk,and if you dont feel like it that's ok too.I have suffered from this before and still do sometimes but when your feeling down or tired its the bodies way of saying slow down,take a day of rest.There is a great book called the power of now that helped me understand things abit better.I also rang Samaritans before and you WILL feel better after talking it it.They just listen and sometimes that's all it takes.Stay strong and if you need any help just pm any one of us on this thread.We may not know you but we are there to help.

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By *lassy lady 216Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Op I am going through something similar at the minute my no is getting me down I want to make a fresh start but don't know where to start every time I think I'm getting somewhere another hurdle gets in the way just try and stay strong I always find talking to someone no connected to me helps just take one day at a time it may seem like a big deal now but trust me in a week's time it won't 2yrs ago I lost my job and was out of work for a while I thought I was going to lose everything especially my home as I couldn't afford the mortgage but I didn't eventually got a new job and was able to keep my home at the time it felt like the end of the world but now I realise it wasn't I was very lucky that I had a good family behind me please please talk to someone and get help things will and do get better you can pm me anytime you wish hope you find the hel0 you need x

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to"

talk to anyone, been there and know what it's like. simetimes its bestto talk to stranger than somebody you know

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By *ildmovementMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I think everyone hits this wall at sometime in their life. It’s a natural feeling and it’s only when you talk to people you find out your not the only one. The hard stuff is hard to deal with but you need to concentrate on what is good a person, an activity that makes you feel good and the start figuring a way of removing the negative things or people out of your life. But that’s the hard one to do if you feel you will be letting them down.

But first step is all ways talking to someone OP

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

go to a councler get help . here is not the place .

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

"go to a councler get help . here is not the place . "

Why is it not? You do realise that members on here are actual people who may be able to help the OP?

Telling him to 'go to a councler' is dismissive and unrealistic in terms of the time it may take for them to source one and indeed get an appointment.

Perhaps the OP just needs to know that there are people they can talk to today.

Take a few mins to choose your words..it could make all the difference sometimes.

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By *arbiegirl19Woman
over a year ago

Hollymount

"go to a councler get help . here is not the place .

Why is it not? You do realise that members on here are actual people who may be able to help the OP?

Telling him to 'go to a councler' is dismissive and unrealistic in terms of the time it may take for them to source one and indeed get an appointment.

Perhaps the OP just needs to know that there are people they can talk to today.

Take a few mins to choose your words..it could make all the difference sometimes."

Everyone has had bad times...and it might look like it's not going to get any better ..baby steps...u rant away here if u want...its easier at times to talk to a pure stranger than a family member...

Hope it feeling better soon OP...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"go to a councler get help . here is not the place .

Why is it not? You do realise that members on here are actual people who may be able to help the OP?

Telling him to 'go to a councler' is dismissive and unrealistic in terms of the time it may take for them to source one and indeed get an appointment.

Perhaps the OP just needs to know that there are people they can talk to today.

Take a few mins to choose your words..it could make all the difference sometimes."

True

OP everyone has sometimes a bad day or even all week.

If you really need help please contact Samaritans or pm me.

People do not realise how we can help each other.

I'm thankful for having twin sister who understands me better than anybody else but sometimes we just need to talk with someone whom might help because see the whole picture of all the situation, sometimes in our opinion helpless.

Never give up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get an appointment to see your GP ASAP. In the mean time call the Samaritans. They don’t care who you are or what’s going on. They just want to make sure you are okay. Talk to them. Don’t hold back. The more open you are the more they can help. God speed and safe home sir.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"go to a councler get help . here is not the place . "

And the dickhead of the day award goes to you...well done

Wanker

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By *oft_sexy_sweetWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Hey OP, there's literally no wrong place or time to talk about how you're feeling so good on you for reaching out here. The Samaritans even have a text and online chat service if you don't feel able to speak about things. Your GP will also be able to support you if you feel up to speaking with them. So so many people feel the way you do , you're not alone, and there's tons of help out there. The first time you talk about it will be a massive weight off, so I hope you can use some of the resources people mentioned and that you feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont mean to simplify anything or liken your situation to mine or anything like that.

But for me, when ever im down or things are getting a bit much i find running very benificial in terms of how i think about things. I find after a good run i can think about things much clearer after.

I dont know whats going on in your life but just throwing out something thats helped me a lot over the last few years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dude we are all strangers but im sure everyone that commented has done sincerely!

Remember everything passes!

I always say the different between happiness and sadness is that happiness requires effort and sadness well you need to do nothing!

get put of the house , for a walk, call a friend tell them how you feel , people dont read minds! you never know you might find that now a days maybe that friend needs someone to talk too!

chin up mate, remember dont give up and go out there be happy !

if it is of any use you can always message me ill always reply

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By *ublinGirl92Woman
over a year ago

Hell

"go to a councler get help . here is not the place . "

Absolute bullshit. Asking for help is a difficult and seriously brave thing to do. Clearly the OP feels that this is the right place for him to express himself with the bonus of anonymity making it just that bit easier to talk about how he is feeling.

What this isn't the place for is shunning a person who needs support.

Suicide is one of the biggest killers of men under 45. How many more men have to die in silence before people like you realise that it is okay to talk about how you feel wherever and wherever you damn well please.

If you have nothing nice or constructive to say then say fucking nothing.

OP I'm so sorry you feel this way. Clearly you are not alone and we have your back.

Please check in soon and let us know if you're okay.

My inbox is open if you need to vent.

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By *ary-JaneWoman
over a year ago

mid ulster

Life line ...ring them guys and have a good chat...They link you up with help in your area..It's good to talk

I hope you get the help you need.Life can be hard but sometimes we just need to reprogram our minds into being more positive.peace

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By *aughtylovers.Couple
over a year ago

Ashbourne

Dont despair there is always someone to talk to...there are lots of online supports ..samaritans ...inspire is another one ...or you can even talk to people close to you ...even support officers in the garda ...hope this helps ...just dont give up trying...brave first steps done askimg for help xxxx

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By *aughtylovers.Couple
over a year ago

Ashbourne

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to"

man up and take control back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"go to a councler get help . here is not the place .

And the dickhead of the day award goes to you...well done

Wanker"

He voiced his opinion. And your post would put me off sharing any concerns or issues on here more than his.

There was nothing insulting in his post I am not sure why you feel the need to be so aggressive in your response, its hardly fostering a welcoming supportive atmosphere.

Read the post a few above yours to show how you can disagree with someone without creating animosity...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op there is always someone to talk to. As the suggestions above show. Ypur local priest/reverend/iman or even your local TD might point you in the right direction. The main thing is talk to someone

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By *ysteryman2009Man
over a year ago

Ireland

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to"

Talk is the option, whether family, friends or councilor. Its your choice but always believe in one way up.Never loose hope as their is always help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its possible I get up. Get dressed. If I can even get that far then it's a plus. It's about small things. Even something as simple as just getting a shower. Maybe eventually meet with some friends to chat to.

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By *onedbodMan
over a year ago

co Galway

Just say fuck it and hot the gym if yah can op! Great place to turn off from the outside world and its great for a person both mentally and physically! Keep strong bro...

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By *niffs VerbottenMan
over a year ago

Blue Town by the Rolling Breakers

"Telling him to 'go to a councler' is dismissive and unrealistic in terms of the time it may take for them to source one and indeed get an appointment."

100%. Possibly speak to doctor first - they (may or may not) prescribe you something in mean time. Everyone has cycles of low to high of some sort, frequencies can change due to other stressors or issues...yes, every bastard, man-jack, shithouse door one of us!! Tend to agree with other posters..to recognise it, rationalise it where possible. If not so already, being proactive with some extended, moderate physical exercise routines can work wonders for stress reduction. "Mind Your Head" mister.

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By *niffs VerbottenMan
over a year ago

Blue Town by the Rolling Breakers

aye, what poster above said!

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to

man up and take control back

“Man up” ??

Not helpful my friend - not helpful at all. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under fifty in the UK.

You need to think before you post

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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to

man up and take control back

Seriously, if you have nothing positive to say, say fucking nothing.

OP talk to someone, it's hard to do, especially for men, but you would be surprised how helpful and non-judgemental people are. Always remember things are rarely as bad as they seem right now.

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By *iHung50Man
over a year ago

Near You

Time will heal you eventually but not time alone.

I cannot stress how vital it is to talk about your feelings and issues and for this it has to be a counsellor. A lot of employers now have an EAP in place, that's an employee assistance program. If your employer does then check it out as you can access counselling through that. Your employer will never know it was you who accessed this as the company will just assign you a number and that is all that will be on invoice sent to company. If this is not available to you then samaritans are a good starting point as are Pieta house. These can assist you to get a counsellor too.

Secondly once you have had a couple of sessions then the next step is exercise. A walk or run for 15 to 30 mins. Just get outside and breathe.

Thirdly is company. Do not alienate friends or family. Feelings of isolation are possibly the worst of all that you will go through and once you start to feel a little brighter and positive you will need them.

Only other advice I can give you is try to sleep regular even if you dont stay asleep all night. Avoid alcohol for a few weeks and try to eat normally. All these things will seem like a mountain to climb right now but do one thing now and go see a counsellor. Talking out loud makes things clearer in your head and allows you to process the situation better.

If you need a chat I am here and will gladly give you my number.

All the best

Jon

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Op always someone to talk to if not a friend many helplines available and once you start talking you will receive a sence of relief... I wish you well x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a Suicide Survivor.

Please contact the the Samaritans.

But you already took the first step,by coming on here.

Yes it is overwhelming and frightening as you probably feel like you have nothing to be down over that you shouldn't be like that , that you feel like a fraud.

but you will get there eventuall.

We all deal with the same game,just on different levels,dealing with different devil's.

I don't know much about your background. Reach out.

You are not alone, no matter what the voices tell you in yourself.

You do matter

You are worthy

You have purpose

You can get it wrong

Nothing is 100%

perfect

Best of luck with your journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well when I'm down I just whacks on few tunes that for me is my place a bit of me time helps a lot

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By *hocoholicWoman
over a year ago

The big D

In the throes of an episode I close my eyes & concentrate solely on my deep breathing for 10breathes only (otherwise I start getting distracted), I then open my eyes & do my list of ‘4’s’ :4 things I can see (& really look & describe them, colour/shape/size etc), 3things I can touch (again describe how they feel, soft/hard/smooth etc), 2things I can hear (wind, birds, cars etc) & 1thing I can smell (this can be harder). After that I go outside & make myself walk, even if it’s just end of driveway but I do aim to walk for 10mins at least.

I’m good at recognising when my moods are low enuf to being a depression period so I do visit my doctor. Same old advice of healthier diet (less alcohol & more fruit/veg), more exercise, less social media but more social interacting etc really does help.

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"What to do when you are losing control of life and really feel like there is no one there to talk to"

What to do? Firstly, I genuinely want to say I feel so sorry you are feeling that way. Really do. I've been there before in the past, lost control and felt like I've had nobody to turn to. But I would never pretend by saying I know exactly what you're feeling. Everybody has their battles and things to go through but that doesn't mean you or me or anybody else doesn't have a right to feel aggrieved or sad or even depressed. Being sad or angry, those are emotions that can be addressed in some kind of matter, or counteracted, but depression is a completely different case.

Buddy, it's ok to not feel ok. I'm glad that you created this post. We're right here.

You want somebody to talk to then there are plenty of us here.

For me to promise that things will get better for you would not be the right thing to do. I don't know the circumstances. One thing I can promise is that if you want someone to talk to, I'm right here as are many others.

I want you you to be ok. I want you to be happy.

I've been in that deep dark space of depression and came out the other side (more than once).

I can only talk through my own experience but that doesn't mean your situation is the exact same (would be wrong of me to pretend otherwise). What works for one person may not be the same for another.

But there are similarities.

Go visit your GP. Initially this worked for me. Meds aren't neccesarily the solution but there are also other forms of treatment. Counsellors etc. They aren't always the solution either. Sometimes we don't want to go down that route. Sometimes we just want to talk, and that's ok too. Sometimes we don't want to feel like we are a burden on family or friends. Sometimes it's good to talk to a stranger that can give an unbiased opinion and sometimes it's good to be heard. And sometimes it is nice to know that somebody genuinely cares. Well.... we do and we're glad you shared. There are quite a few of us here that GENUINELY give a shit, and we want you to be ok. I want you to be. I created a support group on here for persons in situations like yourself. If you ever want that shoulder, PM me.

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