FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosting

By *laymates30 OP Couple
over a year ago

The West

Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude."

Totally agree

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By *hoknows82Man
over a year ago

Nenagh / South Dublin

Couldn't agree more. It takes nearly no effort to just let someone that you're not available/interested.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Hu? What's ghosting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's when suddenly, with no explanation, somebody you've been chatting to just stops. It's so fucking cowardly I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Especially when it's like constant message to and fro then bang nothing

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Happened me this morning messaging for two hrs back and forth then gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Especially when it's like constant message to and fro then bang nothing "

Yep. Happened me very recently and it felt shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously people are busy, but nice to have a constant chat with someone regardless of the topic and then to have it stopped suddenly without warning isn't great but sure it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah I don't need constant chat. There's v few people I could have constant chat with. But consistency is important. Flat out texting all day long for a week, and then 3 texts in the next week, followed by absolutely nothing at all. No thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah I don't need constant chat. There's v few people I could have constant chat with. But consistency is important. Flat out texting all day long for a week, and then 3 texts in the next week, followed by absolutely nothing at all. No thanks! "

Yeah probably consistent chat more so than constant is what I meant

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By *laymates30 OP Couple
over a year ago

The West

"It's when suddenly, with no explanation, somebody you've been chatting to just stops. It's so fucking cowardly I think. "

Cowardly is the perfect word.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I don't mind it, if i did I would have to stop using the internet it happens me so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude."

On Fab? Or in general?

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By *laymates30 OP Couple
over a year ago

The West

"Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude.

On Fab? Or in general? "

On Fab - we’re all adults here, honestly it’s better to have the balls to say so if you’re not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude.

On Fab? Or in general?

On Fab - we’re all adults here, honestly it’s better to have the balls to say so if you’re not interested."

Think a lot get carried away in chat and when they actually realize you might want it to happen panic and disappear. Some just get better offers (in their minds). Lucky escapes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get it a lot here, I put it down to the volumes of messages girls get and how hard it is to keep track of conversations but maybe they just move in to something more interesting....that's life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"submarining" is equally as annoying is when someone you've been seeing/talking to vanishes without a trace (much like a submarine when it sinks to the depths of the ocean), then without warning, they "resurface" and slide back into your inbox like nothing ever happened. It's like the ghost of fucks past coming back to haunt you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""submarining" is equally as annoying is when someone you've been seeing/talking to vanishes without a trace (much like a submarine when it sinks to the depths of the ocean), then without warning, they "resurface" and slide back into your inbox like nothing ever happened. It's like the ghost of fucks past coming back to haunt you "

id say I’m accused of that a lot here

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Yeah... I've a few submariners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ghost of fucks past." Brilliant!

I think that would get a swift middle finger reaction from me.

Ghosting by an online persona wouldn't bother me but ghosting by someone I've actually met and connected with would.

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By *rsmiley69Man
over a year ago

Cavan Monaghan

Even when the chat’s going really well an you think you’re in with a chance, swap pics an suddenly your blocked

a well their loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hu? What's ghosting? "
I my thoughts too, thought it was some kinky stuff i hadnt heard of before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happened me this morning messaging for two hrs back and forth then gone

He must have not seen ur profile pic ! No man could possibly ghost that ass on purpose....

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By *laymates30 OP Couple
over a year ago

The West

Oh I love this!!

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

"Happened me this morning messaging for two hrs back and forth then gone

He must have not seen ur profile pic ! No man could possibly ghost that ass on purpose...."

Cheers but ye be surprised went to answer his message he was gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happened me this morning messaging for two hrs back and forth then gone

He must have not seen ur profile pic ! No man could possibly ghost that ass on purpose....

Cheers but ye be surprised went to answer his message he was gone

Obviously a mad man, photos are stunning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya seems to be quite a common thing and submarining too.

Recently met a guy who had messaged for months on end. Finally agreed to meet, broke one of my rules, had fun and whoosh not a word since. One of the "genuine' ones too!!

Not looking for constant chat but as someone else posted, flat out chatting for days, than it slows down completely and than nothing.

Grow a pair boys of your not interested just say so. We are all big girls here we will get over it.

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By *laymates30 OP Couple
over a year ago

The West

We just find it so disrespectful, particularly after meeting someone and chatting for ages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ya seems to be quite a common thing and submarining too.

Recently met a guy who had messaged for months on end. Finally agreed to meet, broke one of my rules, had fun and whoosh not a word since. One of the "genuine' ones too!!

Not looking for constant chat but as someone else posted, flat out chatting for days, than it slows down completely and than nothing.

Grow a pair boys of your not interested just say so. We are all big girls here we will get over it."

Tut tut tut....and all the giving out ye do be doing about the word genuine LMAO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ya seems to be quite a common thing and submarining too.

Recently met a guy who had messaged for months on end. Finally agreed to meet, broke one of my rules, had fun and whoosh not a word since. One of the "genuine' ones too!!

Not looking for constant chat but as someone else posted, flat out chatting for days, than it slows down completely and than nothing.

Grow a pair boys of your not interested just say so. We are all big girls here we will get over it.

Tut tut tut....and all the giving out ye do be doing about the word genuine LMAO "

Famous last word is "genuine" because the majority here that use it haven't a genuine bone in their body.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"Ya seems to be quite a common thing and submarining too.

Recently met a guy who had messaged for months on end. Finally agreed to meet, broke one of my rules, had fun and whoosh not a word since. One of the "genuine' ones too!!

Not looking for constant chat but as someone else posted, flat out chatting for days, than it slows down completely and than nothing.

Grow a pair boys of your not interested just say so. We are all big girls here we will get over it.

Tut tut tut....and all the giving out ye do be doing about the word genuine LMAO

Famous last word is "genuine" because the majority here that use it haven't a genuine bone in their body."

Just a boner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ya seems to be quite a common thing and submarining too.

Recently met a guy who had messaged for months on end. Finally agreed to meet, broke one of my rules, had fun and whoosh not a word since. One of the "genuine' ones too!!

Not looking for constant chat but as someone else posted, flat out chatting for days, than it slows down completely and than nothing.

Grow a pair boys of your not interested just say so. We are all big girls here we will get over it.

Tut tut tut....and all the giving out ye do be doing about the word genuine LMAO

Famous last word is "genuine" because the majority here that use it haven't a genuine bone in their body.

Just a boner

Some obviously don't have that either

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"Ya seems to be quite a common thing and submarining too.

Recently met a guy who had messaged for months on end. Finally agreed to meet, broke one of my rules, had fun and whoosh not a word since. One of the "genuine' ones too!!

Not looking for constant chat but as someone else posted, flat out chatting for days, than it slows down completely and than nothing.

Grow a pair boys of your not interested just say so. We are all big girls here we will get over it.

Tut tut tut....and all the giving out ye do be doing about the word genuine LMAO

Famous last word is "genuine" because the majority here that use it haven't a genuine bone in their body.

Just a boner

Some obviously don't have that either"

Not the genuine ones surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to be honest, Im guilty of this. Had been speaking to a lady on this thread for quite a while. Just everyday stuff , then stopped. I think I realised that we were never going to meet and I gave up. Not proud of myself for doing it, but there you go. Apologies to the lady involved, she knows who she is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is also "breadcrumbing"

You meet online but never actually get to the stage of organising a meet. Whatever the reason breadcrumbers always act the same way: sending you an occasional message ie the breadcrumbs , keeping your interest, and then disappearing again before ever committing to a meet. I call this the ghosts of future fucks coming to haunt you

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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago

wherever

Out of curiosity so what do ye do then if the chat just gets boring?

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I probably could be accused of al those diving for breadcrumbs stuff.

Seriously I'm just polite answering to my messages, so there might be a short exchange and then I move on because I simply can't chat 24/7, i don't even do that with my meets. It's nsa fun after all .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of curiosity so what do ye do then if the chat just gets boring? "

Usually this is where people do the "slow fade"

A first cousin to ghosting, this is a more drawn-out version, it's where someone you are chatting to or meeting slowly cuts you off, making less and less effort with being in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was seeing a guy (not fab related) for exactly three weeks.

All seemed perfect, sex was amazing, got along like we've known each other for years.

One day boom - no response.

Wonder if he's okay as it was completely out of character, leave him alone tho as have my own stuff to do, check in the evening- nothing.

Two days later - Sorry, I'm just not well.

No problem - giz a shout when you're okay.

A week later - Sorry, busy.

No worries, just let me know if you want me to delete your number.

"No no, all okay just had family issues"

Two weeks later- Facebook relationship status update "in relationship" (obviously not with me)

At that time I wasn't looking for a relationship and made it clear very early on so obviously he didn't take out little affair seriously... still not nice to be ghosted like that

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

You can simply run out of things to say.

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area

Ghosting... breadcrumbing... submarining... ghost of fucks past...

FFS i was ignorant of all these things until i started reading this thread: its like the Fab Urban Dictionary on here tonight..!!

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Ghosting basically tells you all you need to know about the other person's maturity levels and communication skills. When someone ghosts you they are thinking more about themselves

than what they are are about you. As some others have already said here, it is just plain cowardly.

Rather than get annoyed or angry at someone ghosting you, you should be thankful that you had a lucky escape.

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area

So ghosting is just not responding..??

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"Ghosting basically tells you all you need to know about the other person's maturity levels and communication skills. When someone ghosts you they are thinking more about themselves

than what they are are about you. As some others have already said here, it is just plain cowardly.

Rather than get annoyed or angry at someone ghosting you, you should be thankful that you had a lucky escape."

I don't agree with you 100%. I've politely told someone there was no point in continuing a chat and was called all the names under the sun. Sometimes it's best to let It run it's course and fizzle out. Damned if you do ,damned if you don't. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People also have lives though and may just not have time to reply and then too much time has passed

I couldn't care less to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't bother me that much unless there's a meet planned and they disappear the night before and reappear few weeks later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No excuse for ignorance.....drives me nuts but will continue to happen

Happens me regularly

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Ghosting basically tells you all you need to know about the other person's maturity levels and communication skills. When someone ghosts you they are thinking more about themselves

than what they are are about you. As some others have already said here, it is just plain cowardly.

Rather than get annoyed or angry at someone ghosting you, you should be thankful that you had a lucky escape.

Well, I see your point. In a case of not being interested that's completely understandable but I'm talking generally about cases where the other person has been chatting back and forth and showing interest only to suddenly cease all contact.

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"People also have lives though and may just not have time to reply and then too much time has passed

I couldn't care less to be honest "

It's true that people can have busy lives but people can always make time to reply to someone if they really want to. It takes just 30 seconds or a minute to type out a quick message even if it's just to say you're busy. This can even be done while sitting on the loo which we all have to do at some point of the day.

It's just a case of where you lay on the other person's list of priorities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People also have lives though and may just not have time to reply and then too much time has passed

I couldn't care less to be honest "

Yes we all have busy lives but when they are online numerous times during day and your message remains unread.

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By *eanbelfastMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I was seeing a guy (not fab related) for exactly three weeks.

All seemed perfect, sex was amazing, got along like we've known each other for years.

One day boom - no response.

Wonder if he's okay as it was completely out of character, leave him alone tho as have my own stuff to do, check in the evening- nothing.

Two days later - Sorry, I'm just not well.

No problem - giz a shout when you're okay.

A week later - Sorry, busy.

No worries, just let me know if you want me to delete your number.

"No no, all okay just had family issues"

Two weeks later- Facebook relationship status update "in relationship" (obviously not with me)

At that time I wasn't looking for a relationship and made it clear very early on so obviously he didn't take out little affair seriously... still not nice to be ghosted like that

That’s just disrespectful and dishonest on his part though at the end of the day it’s better finding out early as says a lot about his character.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's now married to the same girl, so feelings might have been strong...

Still a bit shit being on a side who was left to hang without notice

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

they get a chance to meet but just disappear. bloody he'll. they give nice guys a bad name .

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By *eanbelfastMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"He's now married to the same girl, so feelings might have been strong...

Still a bit shit being on a side who was left to hang without notice "

It wouldn’t have taken a lot to just say and at the end of the day it’s his loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He's now married to the same girl, so feelings might have been strong...

Still a bit shit being on a side who was left to hang without notice

It wouldn’t have taken a lot to just say and at the end of the day it’s his loss "

True. All it would have taken was one word.

Don't think it's a loss as we were both looking for completely different things.

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"He's now married to the same girl, so feelings might have been strong...

Still a bit shit being on a side who was left to hang without notice "

He maybe didn't want to hurt your feelings. I know that a lot of people try to avoid the conversation because they don't know what to say or how to say it.

Still though, kinda shitty. I always believe in being up front and honest with a person (in a delicate or tactful manner though) rather than just leaving a person sitting scratching their head wondering what they did wrong. To not do so just shows a lack of courtesy or respect.

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

happens alot here.. fecking pain the hole tho

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By *eanbelfastMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"He's now married to the same girl, so feelings might have been strong...

Still a bit shit being on a side who was left to hang without notice

It wouldn’t have taken a lot to just say and at the end of the day it’s his loss

True. All it would have taken was one word.

Don't think it's a loss as we were both looking for completely different things. "

His loss for not doing the right thing. But at least you were honest with him in what you were looking for

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"happens alot here.. fecking pain the hole tho"

Pain in the hole? That would be the anal thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ha this happens me.... at least I know im not alone , and it has a name lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People also have lives though and may just not have time to reply and then too much time has passed

I couldn't care less to be honest "

I 100% agree. Myself and dorian work shift and after a week of nights the last thing i want to do is small talk ( It’s hard enough to make time for each other, friends and family as it is!!) , people can click on and look at fab, doesn’t take much brain power to scroll down a news feed and look at the visuals . I think people need to be less offended and insecure, it’s hardly a relationship (esp if you’ve never even met), nobody has made any commitment. Lola

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By *rbubbleMan
over a year ago

wild west

Ah that’s life people lose interest texting back and forth or maybe they’ve found somebody else. Only issue i have is when when you’ve arranged to meet after all the chat is out of way then day comes to meet in hotel which is booked and it’s excuses why can’t meet etc then give them another chance and it’s the same come day of meet

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By *c90Man
over a year ago

Noiseville

I live for the day i will be ghosted or submarined - it means someone engaged with me lol. Roll on those happy days!!!

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By *lassicpMan
over a year ago

Kerry

"Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude."

So true, wish more people we're just honest here,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people just need to get over it and not take everything so personally all the time. There are bigger issues.

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"People also have lives though and may just not have time to reply and then too much time has passed

I couldn't care less to be honest

Yes we all have busy lives but when they are online numerous times during day and your message remains unread. "

This is me but sometimes i just pop on for a nosy on the hot pics or forums and no real time to spend chatting..

Also ppl get ghosted on fab all the time it goes hand in hand with the site it's no biggie. Stop focusing on the negatives move on and enjoy what fab has to offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah that’s life people lose interest texting back and forth or maybe they’ve found somebody else. Only issue i have is when when you’ve arranged to meet after all the chat is out of way then day comes to meet in hotel which is booked and it’s excuses why can’t meet etc then give them another chance and it’s the same come day of meet

Now that’s a totally different story!! That’s just awful and deceptive!!!

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By *BelfastGuyMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I hate it. Nothing but rudeness.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

No point trying to work out people's behaviour on here..its the internet..people get twisted kicks, ego inflation etc etc from messing around with others.

Gems are very rare...fake imitation tat will always flood the market.

Ghosting used to annoy me as I have spent my precious time chatting/mailing etc ... now I just ignore.

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By *ookwhoitishaMan
over a year ago

Border Town

I've had my fair share of submarining and ghosting I thought it was just me

Anyone want a hug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People also have lives though and may just not have time to reply and then too much time has passed

I couldn't care less to be honest

Yes we all have busy lives but when they are online numerous times during day and your message remains unread.

This is me but sometimes i just pop on for a nosy on the hot pics or forums and no real time to spend chatting..

Also ppl get ghosted on fab all the time it goes hand in hand with the site it's no biggie. Stop focusing on the negatives move on and enjoy what fab has to offer. "

So you don't answer your messages if you have some?

But than guys don't get 100's a day so I can't see why they don't reply. After a few days if I don't get a reply I do "move on" but than a week later in pops a "hi, been busy sorry".

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By *unnyfookMan
over a year ago

Naas

"happens alot here.. fecking pain the hole tho

Pain in the hole? That would be the anal thread.

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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago

wherever

I think sometimes ghosting can be confused with the natural end to conversation. It’s differebt if you have met someone and are in regular contact though, but if you have exchanged a few mails not feeling the convo then what’s the point just take the hint and move on

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By *niffs VerbottenMan
over a year ago

Blue Town by the Rolling Breakers

well well, glad someone raised this koont of a topic! ghosting....un-nice. First ta admit it's sometimes self-deserved, yep get blithely carried along in a positive manner then other times seems like an ignorant act of power trippy, fuck-youism. Ghosting..ta fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly is there anything worse? Just say you’re not interested and nobody minds. Ghosting is just rude."

It tells you more about the ghoster than it says about you.

It's the absolute height of ignorance and I view it as a lucky escape.

Manners cost nothing and a simple I'm not interested can save so much of the "is it going to happen or not"

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