FabSwingers.com forum: Face Pic demands

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Increasingly you see on women’s and couples profiles; no face pic no reply . Do any guys on here just fire off their face pic with their first message in the hope of getting a reply. I certainly do not . I send face pics when a sort of chat has been established and a possible meet may be on the cards as a result of the banter.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I've had face pics sent in first message ,but I would never ask for one. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

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By *ondalingerMan
over a year ago

City center

Tbh i did yea. I havent sent a msg in a couple of weeks so i havent very recently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, I get plenty of requests for a face pic, but it's only polite to send a face pic when you send a request for a face pic.

I think there are too many wasters on here to be flogging off face pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone makes their profile work for them, not anyone else.

Preferences, requests/demands etc are no different to any other filter.

So, for example, if you're not comfortable to send such a pic with no expectation in return then you're not who that person would be looking for anyway and vice versa

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I have noticed a big increase in couples or women actively asking me for a face pic in first message, and then never ever talking to me again after I send it.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"I've had face pics sent in first message ,but I would never ask for one. Different strokes for different folks I guess."

This

I only share face pics with those I'm comfortable sharing with. And it's annoying when someone sends you a face pic right off the bat and expects one back in return. I didn't ask for one and don't feel obliged to return one.

Besides... Some folk use face pics that aren't their own. Someone on Fab sent my face pic to someone I know once. He reported it straight away and told me, but God only knows how many people she had used it to dupe before that (if it actually was a she).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i was a single guy here id send one in the first message. never expected one back either. didnt really care who saw it. hell had it as my profile avatar at one stage. never bothered me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of profiles demanding that. I avoud them. Where's the discretion and thought for others privacy. I see it as a bit selfish. So i stay away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv sent a pic in first reply, doesn't mean I'm any less discrete, I'm single with nothing to hide, don't just send it to every profile either. it's meeting others and respecting there privacy that's important to me. I don't like endless chit chat I prefare a quick social to get to know someone in person not weeks of txting I get bored very quick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never ask for face pics, but lots of guys send them with a first message.

People can demand whatever they like, you are under no obligation to comply.

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

It's more annoying when the demand is coming from a profile with not even one pic on it. I think it should be up to the person when and if they share a face pic. That's what a social coffee is used for. I never have or ever will demand a face pic. I've gone to coffee meets many a time having not seen their face...

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By *hoknows82Man
over a year ago

Nenagh / South Dublin

I always open with a face pic.

Or cuts to the chase if they find you attractive or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually prefer not to get a face pic in the first message, cos then it gives me a chance to figure out if I'm interested without looks clouding my judgement. I can think of a lot of guys that didn't send me a face pic until really good banter was established. And honestly, if they had sent me a pic in their first message I might not have replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never send them now.. kik video call.. if you don’t like it I don’t even care..

sick of people who get to see you and don’t send one back.. quite annoying.

Besides the amount of filters put on pictures these days would put a small coffee shop to shame.. be yourself people

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

"We never ask for face pics, but lots of guys send them with a first message.

People can demand whatever they like, you are under no obligation to comply. "

^This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont mind sending them.....

I am bit more weary if I havent seen them on the forums or they seem a bit off.

Someones face is a key to attraction for me so I like to swap early in an interaction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will send one as I feel I’m already on the backfoot by virtue of being male!!! The women on here have their pick regardless of what they look like or what kind of person they are. Trying to give myself every chance I suppose!

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By *rsmiley69Man
over a year ago

Cavan Monaghan

Used to send but bit more reluctant now unless we’ve been chatting an they ask, also they need to have some pics on their profile.

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By *rinibooWoman
over a year ago

clare

I don’t mind being asked for one if I have been chatting . I do like to see a face as some men have little or no pics on profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always open with a face pic.

Or cuts to the chase if they find you attractive or not."

I prefer this approach

Saves on endless chat only to find out you're not attracted to the person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Increasingly you see on women’s and couples profiles; no face pic no reply . Do any guys on here just fire off their face pic with their first message in the hope of getting a reply. I certainly do not . I send face pics when a sort of chat has been established and a possible meet may be on the cards as a result of the banter. "

I wouldn’t do it or expect anyone to do it I got my cousins face and not face pic sent to me last time around lol there is somethings you can’t unsee ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless it's something forum related, I'm one of those people who refuse to reply to any messages without a face pic.

If it doesn't suit someone - they don't have to message in a first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say I don't have a face pic and send them

and say 'I look like him!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like a blind meet for a coffee, it's exciting to see if you will like who you meet

After all it's only a coffee so no harm done if your not for each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

I wouldn’t do it or expect anyone to do it I got my cousins face and not face pic sent to me last time around lol there is somethings you can’t unsee ha "

Well did you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite like a blind meet for a coffee, it's exciting to see if you will like who you meet

After all it's only a coffee so no harm done if your not for each other

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda. "

It's got nothing to do with egos or stuck-upness. You've just admitted yourself about the number of mails any woman can receive on here. So imagine if any woman is mailing back and forth with for a number of times with every man messaging her before swapping any face pics. Imagine how many more mails there would be and how much time that would take. Where would some of them even find the time?

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic."

One man who understands the solid reason behind it all.

I applaud you kind sir, thank you for bothering to spell it out for yet another moaner x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic."

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic."

Naive.

But also with a large severing of "look at me ladies Im a gent" crap you see a lot of these here.

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

"I have noticed a big increase in couples or women actively asking me for a face pic in first message, and then never ever talking to me again after I send it."

Ur hot as fuck so they must have forgot to go to specsavers

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By *eankaren88Couple
over a year ago

By the sea

We have had face pics of couples sent to us and thought they are not for us, but they get invited as it's a party and wow they are so much better in real life, so pics ain't the best, mutual meet or cam chat is the only way for us. Pics can be fake, cam chat is so much tougher to fake and it's instant. And it's about the connection not the physical attraction for us.

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic.

Naive.

But also with a large severing of "look at me ladies Im a gent" crap you see a lot of these here.

Naive? I've been on Fab long enough to know how it operates. I was once also part of a couple profile on here so I seen the kinds of messages women can receive on here as well as the amounts. It has nothing to do with white knighting or "Look at me, I'm a gent". I call it as I see it.

I could have summarised my above post by simply saying "I sense bitterness".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic."

Ur right. No one is obligated to send face pics. But there is a thing called manners . And a thing called rudeness. And a thing called being so up their own arseholes. And the fact is that some women fit those to a tee. No face pic no reply . Lol. Who the fuck do u think u are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would someone waste their time talking to someone they don't find attractive in the first place

If it says that on their profile and I want to message them, of course I'll send a pic.

If they message me first and tell me to send them a face pic without sending one to me, they can bugger off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of stuck up people.

Just the nature of it. Million guys to every one woman. Even a self-conscious midly attractive women would get an ego with the amount of men mailing her.

So all the stuckupness comes out. Don't mail me unless then. Don't mail me unless they. Yadda Yadda.

Receiving a face pic in the first message allows the woman to see right away if she finds the guy attractive or not. If not then it saves from not only wasting her time but the other guy's also.

Everyone has their own set format for their profile and can use it as a filter of sorts. Nobody has to abide by it and nobody is obligated to send a face pic.

Naive.

But also with a large severing of "look at me ladies Im a gent" crap you see a lot of these here.

"
someone hasnt had there snickers bar today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn you, now I want a snickers bar :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I see there's a pic attached, I read the profile first & then guess if it's going to be a cock or a face...its usually a cock.

I don't mind having a bit of a chat before the face pics come out. If the banter is good then I'll probably ask for one early. There's no point wasting either of our time if there is no physical attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"someone hasnt had there snickers bar today

Or I'm not an idiot. Why don't you stop being one too?

Not saying everyone does this but you see a lot of guys play the white knight on these forums. Then to hit women or couples up in a direct message using that as a way in. A tactic.

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

The ops post is about face pics been demanded in a first message not about those that choose to send a face pic with the first message. There is a big difference. An opinion don't have to mean white knighting. Can't we just debate on these topics minus the personal attacks. No wonder the Irish forums are dying off...

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By *igress69Woman
over a year ago

belfast

I think it's up to the individual to decide if they send a face pic in the first message. Looks arnt everything and as said before u can filter ur pic. Webcam or a social meet is best.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"I quite like a blind meet for a coffee, it's exciting to see if you will like who you meet

After all it's only a coffee so no harm done if your not for each other

Not for me. If I find that I'm not interested in someone, I don't particularly want them knowing who I am. Some don't take rejection terribly well. Even though I don't meet locally, I have run into other swingers at non-swinging social events such as weddings and being hounded by someone you don't fancy while you're with friends and family isn't pleasant, especially when they've a few drinks on them and you don't know what they're going to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only send fac picd once ive chatted for a while and im comfortable enough with person and think we click ok. Ive had plenty of first messages with face pics attached, and thats fine but dont expect the same in return!!!

I had a man the other day i was chatting to for a few days send me a face pic, he was yummy so i returned face pic, in next message he told me that wasnt him it was his mate and here was his real pic. So devious, blocked straight away!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"someone hasnt had there snickers bar today

Or I'm not an idiot. Why don't you stop being one too?

Not saying everyone does this but you see a lot of guys play the white knight on these forums. Then to hit women or couples up in a direct message using that as a way in. A tactic.

"
its just the way I am some like me lots don't, do I care no lol, and even tho I hate to admit it but I do see what your saying here I see it myself and violently throw up a little bit, but what I don't get is the way other guys try running others down for it if that's how they get meets fair play to them, maybe why I don't get any I must change my tactics lol

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

" Ur right. No one is obligated to send face pics. But there is a thing called manners . And a thing called rudeness. And a thing called being so up their own arseholes. And the fact is that some women fit those to a tee. No face pic no reply . Lol. Who the fuck do u think u are?"

OP I noticed you mentioning on another thread about how some people's profiles are so long so I'm going to tie that in along with your posts here.

I totally understand your perspective and agree that there are SOME women who fit the descriptions you just mentioned, but it isn't always a clear cut case of the other person having no manners or being rude or being so up their own arseholes.

Now I can only speak from my own experience of having been part of a couple profile but having known others on here I am sure there are plenty who can relate.

Whenever we first started out her and I both agreed that we would do our best to be polite and courteous by giving every person at least some kind of reply. It seemed like the decent thing to do. But holy fuck, how that soon had to change.

One guy would have started messaging back and forth with her and there would be countless messages without any face pics having been exchanged.

Meanwhile another guy would start messaging, and another.

Before we knew it there were so many messages coming through from so many different guys and therefore so many chats going on simultaneously that we just simply couldn't keep up.

So then of course when guys weren't getting replies from us fast enough they would then send more messages asking if we got their previous messages or that if we weren't interested we should have just said so, being told we were rude for not replying, when we just genuinely hadn't had enough time to get back to them (as if they were the only guys we were talking to or we didn't have lives outside of Fab).

The amount of mails became impossible to manage so we then decided we would just have to start filtering the guys messaging us.

We then stated on our profile that to avoid wasting each other's time we'd appreciate if the person could attach a face pic in their first message.

We found this cut out the endless messaging before exchanging face pics and then realising there was no attraction.

However, if someone sent a face pic and she sent one back saying "Sorry you're not my type but saying as you sent one it's only fair I do the same" we'd then get further floods of messages saying things along the lines of "Aww pity, you're so hot" and continuously trying to convince her or change her mind.

So we then stated on our profile if they didn't get a face pic or a reply to just take it as a sign that we weren't interested because we just genuinely didn't have time to reply.

After that, when she would send replies giving a polite "No thanks" or "Sorry but you're not my type" there were many people who just couldn't take a polite no for an answer and would send further messages asking us to explain what our type was and why they weren't our type or why we weren't interested.

We even had some who would just keep messaging all the time thinking that if they chatted enough to show how nice they were that it might somehow convince us or change our minds, and just couldn't take the hints or firm but polite no's.

We had some who would then lose track of who all they had messaged and every so many days or weeks we'd hear from the same persons all over again and have to politely refresh their memory and remind them that we weren't interested.

The worst though was when people got nasty or abusive despite being giving polite refusals and wished good luck in finding what they were after.

Things like "Well I was just trying to do you a favour anyway. You look like you need all the help you can get. Someone has to take pity on a fatty like you" (Funny, you were telling her five minutes before how hot she was).

Or "Attraction shouldn't come into it. It's a sex site. A slut like you should be grateful for the attention and interest". (Sorry we had standards).

I could spend all day writing a long list of the kind of insults that were thrown our way. And as if all this wasn't bad enough, after filtering through all the crap I just mentioned and arranging meets with those we thought were nice, we'd get a lot of people who simply didn't show up (without any explanation whatsoever or any kind of apology).

Try going through that rigmarole a number of times then maybe you'd start to understand.

After a time we developed a zero tolerance for all the hassle and bullshit and had to write out a lengthy profile stating our preferences and procedure.

And still we got people sending unsolicited cock pics or not attaching a face pic or whatever. We got the impression that a lot of guys would simply look at our pics thinking "Aye, she'll do, I fancy a go at that" and then would just message as if we were some kind of dial a ride looking to meet anyone who showed any kind of interest.

When we would ask for a face pic in response to a first message or if we stated we weren't interested because they didn't bother to read the profile we'd then receive dogs abuse being told things like:

"Your profile is way too long"

"Your profile is full of ridiculous demands"

"You guys seem full of it"

"You guys are up your own arse"

"Why should I read that book when all I want to do is fuck a slut?"

"Sure there's no need to bother with all that, we're all here for the same thing"

and yadda yadda yadda.

The way we looked at it was if someone couldn't give us just two minutes of his time to read our profile then why should we have given any of our time be it to chat, or meet up, or even to respond?

Eventually it just reached a point where if C didn't find the person attractive we'd either not reply (if too busy) or give a quick polite refusal and after that any further messages were ignored.

If people became pushy or abusive we just blocked them straight away.

So OP having explained it all in detail I hope you can see and understand why some profiles are so long and why some demand face pics up front or right away.

It was a case of this is our profile, it states what we are after and these are our terms. Nobody was ever obligated to read our profile and nobody was ever obligated to send a face pic first or meet our demands but then people shouldn't have been surprised when they didn't get far with us.

It's not a case of people having no manners or being rude or up their own arseholes but it all became a necessity for us to avoid all the hassles, bullshit, stress and insults. As Fab rules state "No reply means no interest".

By doing so, it allowed us enough time to actually chat to those we were genuinely interested in rather than wasting the time of, or giving false hope, to those we weren't interested in.

In doing that we found that the ones who didn't mind putting in the effort and going through the procedure we'd laid out turned out to be the kind of nice persons that we wanted to meet.

We ended up meeting quite a few nice fellas though sadly, because of the attitudes of so many others we probably also missed out on meeting other nice persons.

The attitudes of so many on here really do ruin it for others but that's just the way things go; gotta take the rough with the smooth.

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"someone hasnt had there snickers bar today

Or I'm not an idiot. Why don't you stop being one too?

Not saying everyone does this but you see a lot of guys play the white knight on these forums. Then to hit women or couples up in a direct message using that as a way in. A tactic.

You seem to have it all sussed out? How's that faring for you so far on here?

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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago

wherever

I’m curious what is considered a ridiculous demand when it comes to choosing who you want to have sex with?