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How Do You Close Pandora's Box Once It’s Opened?

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

This is a question aimed to couples.

So you've opened a Fab couple account, both of you were excited about the new world of swinging and casual sex, trying to spice things up a bit ... But few months have passed and one of you, is not interested in this lifestyle as much, whereas the other half can't have enough of it !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a couple was prepared, they would of had this chat before they started. And likely agreed that without the consent of both they wouldn't do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a couple was prepared, they would of had this chat before they started. And likely agreed that without the consent of both they wouldn't do it. "

Exactly this the lifestyle is only part of a couple's life and yes there are some that it takes over their life which might then be an issue should one want to stop. For us it's just something we do now and again so it doesn't take over what we had before we got into the lifestyle. Swinging thou is definitely Hotel California very few stay away forever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a couple was prepared, they would of had this chat before they started. And likely agreed that without the consent of both they wouldn't do it. "

Or agree that one can pursue without the participation of the other. If that's not possible to sustain, then the relationship is done for really, isn't it?

Be careful what you wish for.

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Be careful what you wish for."

... if only they knew!

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a question aimed to couples.

So you've opened a Fab couple account, both of you were excited about the new world of swinging and casual sex, trying to spice things up a bit ... But few months have passed and one of you, is not interested in this lifestyle as much, whereas the other half can't have enough of it !

"

I guess you decide which is most important, the swinging... or the relationship..and take it from there.

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"I guess you decide which is most important, the swinging... or the relationship..and take it from there."

For myself, the relationship is the most important, there is no doubt about it.

But it isn't that simple for everyone, as for some, this lifestyle, becomes addictive.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship. "

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

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By *kcoupleCouple
over a year ago

.....


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

"

I have to agree with you here. Swinging is a tiny part of any relationship in the greater scheme of things. Most couples on the scene will go through stages where one just isn't feeling it and the other wants to peruse it. It's only an deal breaker if one does it anyway without the consent of another. To say that a relationship is in need of review if a bit over the top. If you actually have a respectful relationship then a conversation is all that's needed

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Swinging is a tiny part of any relationship in the greater scheme of things. Most couples on the scene will go through stages where one just isn't feeling it and the other wants to peruse it. "

For some couples, swinging and casual sex, is just another way to spark some passion and excitement back into their sex life.

For others, their sex drive is so high, that what they have at home, is just not enough and constantly need to meet others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

I have to agree with you here. Swinging is a tiny part of any relationship in the greater scheme of things. Most couples on the scene will go through stages where one just isn't feeling it and the other wants to peruse it. It's only an deal breaker if one does it anyway without the consent of another. To say that a relationship is in need of review if a bit over the top. If you actually have a respectful relationship then a conversation is all that's needed "

Obviously not part of a couple so not on firm footing here, but I think it is safe to say not all couples that swing are as strong as others. And to be fair to the above poster I think thats what he was referencing.

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By *kcoupleCouple
over a year ago

.....


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

I have to agree with you here. Swinging is a tiny part of any relationship in the greater scheme of things. Most couples on the scene will go through stages where one just isn't feeling it and the other wants to peruse it. It's only an deal breaker if one does it anyway without the consent of another. To say that a relationship is in need of review if a bit over the top. If you actually have a respectful relationship then a conversation is all that's needed

Obviously not part of a couple so not on firm footing here, but I think it is safe to say not all couples that swing are as strong as others. And to be fair to the above poster I think thats what he was referencing."

Yeah totally get where you are coming from. We haven't been around long enough to comment on the finer details of other couple's boundaries but the very first thing we spoke about was when one wanted to back out the other did the same, no questioned asked. I have no doubt that many still look for more on the sly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yeah totally get where you are coming from. We haven't been around long enough to comment on the finer details of other couple's boundaries but the very first thing we spoke about was when one wanted to back out the other did the same, no questioned asked. I have no doubt that many still look for more on the sly"

Like all things in life some people will communicate their feelings and needs better than others.

I dont think only strong couples swing, just that strong couples do it well.

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Obviously not part of a couple so not on firm footing here, but I think it is safe to say not all couples that swing are as strong as others."

Swinging and casual sex requires a lot of trust between partners, in a couple.

Even the strongest couple, will have their relationship put to the test, when another person is added to the mix.

Insecurities surface and a lot of love and understanding is required.

A lot of couples will not play solo or in separate rooms, due to the fact that not knowing what the other did and how far they went, would seriously shake their trust in each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A lot of couples will not play solo or in separate rooms, due to the fact that not knowing what the other did and how far they went, would seriously shake their trust in each other. "

Not wishing to play solo isn't necessarily to do with trust issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a couple a while back had good fun,then they stopped he decided he did not want it any more ,but she still calls round

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Not wishing to play solo isn't necessarily to do with trust issues. "

True, I forgot about foursomes !

Safety, comes to my mind too, as some females won't fully trust another man and go in a separate room and play with a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

"

i agree. too many people like to think the worse not just regards to swinging but in life in general. they enjoy seeing others fail. if dee or myself said lets stop to the other neither of us would ask why. we would just stop. no point in swinging when one of us isnt enjoying it. swinging is meant to be fun for all involved. many on fab forget this.

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By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

I’ve had lots of messages over the years from the male half of couples wanting to meet on the quiet. This I really don’t understand, they literally have it all and are willing to risk it for a sneaky meet.

I had a couple profile years ago and the dynamic can really test a relationship, the ladies get so much more attention than the men that they have to have great self confidence and trust in their partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve had lots of messages over the years from the male half of couples wanting to meet on the quiet. This I really don’t understand, they literally have it all and are willing to risk it for a sneaky meet.

I had a couple profile years ago and the dynamic can really test a relationship, the ladies get so much more attention than the men that they have to have great self confidence and trust in their partner. "

And on the other hand, it can really strengthen the relationship.

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By *laymates30Couple
over a year ago

The West

Regardless of whether you’re swinging or not, you should be honest in your relationship first and foremost.

If one partner doesn’t want to continue while the other does, then both of you need to discuss what you want and why. That’s the tough part because often people don’t want to risk their relationship by being truthful about their desires - that’s the real Pandora’s box.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

i agree. too many people like to think the worse not just regards to swinging but in life in general. they enjoy seeing others fail. if dee or myself said lets stop to the other neither of us would ask why. we would just stop. no point in swinging when one of us isnt enjoying it. swinging is meant to be fun for all involved. many on fab forget this."

Exactly. A lot of folk simply don’t “get” this.

And such a lot of single guys here pontificating on the dynamics involved in a swinging couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Regardless of whether you’re swinging or not, you should be honest in your relationship first and foremost.

If one partner doesn’t want to continue while the other does, then both of you need to discuss what you want and why. That’s the tough part because often people don’t want to risk their relationship by being truthful about their desires - that’s the real Pandora’s box."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a question aimed to couples.

So you've opened a Fab couple account, both of you were excited about the new world of swinging and casual sex, trying to spice things up a bit ... But few months have passed and one of you, is not interested in this lifestyle as much, whereas the other half can't have enough of it !

"
Its very likely this will eventually happen with most couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This new found realisation is a game changer for the couple. They find themselves in a situation where new rules apply. So, what options are available.? .... One plays alone at swinging, while the other chooses not to play? If they can give each other the freedom to live their lives as they wish, all will be well. But if one tries to inhibit the other's freedom, it's time to review the relationship.

With the greatest respect - that’s complete nonsense. strong couples swing. Note the word “swing” - not “indulge in casual sex”. If one person no longer enjoys swinging the couple stop with no recriminations, no post mortems, no bitterness....

Strong couples certainly do not need to “review their relationship” in such a scenario....

i agree. too many people like to think the worse not just regards to swinging but in life in general. they enjoy seeing others fail. if dee or myself said lets stop to the other neither of us would ask why. we would just stop. no point in swinging when one of us isnt enjoying it. swinging is meant to be fun for all involved. many on fab forget this.

Exactly. A lot of folk simply don’t “get” this.

And such a lot of single guys here pontificating on the dynamics involved in a swinging couple "

lol we know exactly what you mean

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


" the ladies get so much more attention than the men that they have to have great self confidence and trust in their partner. "

A lot of men are in for a big surprise, as most of them think they will easily find loads of women to have sex with.

The reality is, that there are very few women willing to have sex compared with the massive amount of men on Fab and while a lot of men here will shag anything that moves, the women have a lot of choice and are very picky here!

Oh.. no other better place than Fab, to show how the old rule of supply and demand works at its finest!

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

"relationship review"... A sticky topic. We all change and develop, from the time we meet, to commitment, to nesting,children, work, careers, mortgages, commuting... Some of us stay on parallel paths, others diverge. When the subject of swinging came up in your relationship, it provoked a review., naturally before you decided to start meeting others. Most couples can compromise, but sometimes there are deal breakers. For me the lack of freedom to live my life true to myself would slowly grind me down. The idea of spending my life mortgaged till death, and cummuting forever as opposed to travel, tropical climates, adventures, and financial freedom... I choose the latter, after reviewing all the options. So, if it came to a swinging choice.. To do or not to... Right now, if I was in a loving relationship with freedom to do as I wished. I'd choose relationship.

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By *oomformorepodcastCouple
over a year ago

all over the place

Interesting thread - how the lifestyle works is always different for every couple. if anyone is into podcasts we have just published our first episode on our journey so far - check out our profile page for links etc. Go easy on us though - we are total podcast newbies!!

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Interesting thread - how the lifestyle works is always different for every couple. if anyone is into podcasts we have just published our first episode on our journey so far - check out our profile page for links etc. Go easy on us though - we are total podcast newbies!!"

I am so pleased, that you choose my post to let people know about your podcast.

Keep the new podcasts coming, can't wait for your next one.

All the best to both of you!

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By *oomformorepodcastCouple
over a year ago

all over the place

Aw thanks a million. It’s certainly not easy putting your feelings out there in a podcast - but hopefully some people might find it interesting or useful.

Any comments welcome! And suggestions for topics for future episodes too...

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By *oreThanOnce OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"Aw thanks a million. It’s certainly not easy putting your feelings out there in a podcast - but hopefully some people might find it interesting or useful.

Any comments welcome! And suggestions for topics for future episodes too..."

A podcast like yours, was long overdue.

There are a lot of couples here, starting a journey like yours and having good quality firsthand information on the ups and downs of this bumpy road, can only be good for them.

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By *oomformorepodcastCouple
over a year ago

all over the place

We would love to interview a couple on our podcast too and chat about these issues - so any volunteers send us a message!

We have a nice line up already - single women, single guys, party organizers etc. But still looking for a couple to chat to...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a question aimed to couples.

So you've opened a Fab couple account, both of you were excited about the new world of swinging and casual sex, trying to spice things up a bit ... But few months have passed and one of you, is not interested in this lifestyle as much, whereas the other half can't have enough of it !

"

You can't close it . Every experience you have changes you. But take stock of what you have before you do anything drastic .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve had lots of messages over the years from the male half of couples wanting to meet on the quiet. This I really don’t understand, they literally have it all and are willing to risk it for a sneaky meet.

I had a couple profile years ago and the dynamic can really test a relationship, the ladies get so much more attention than the men that they have to have great self confidence and trust in their partner. "

Some people get more out of a sly one. Then they do of the one their partner knows above

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"I’ve had lots of messages over the years from the male half of couples wanting to meet on the quiet. This I really don’t understand, they literally have it all and are willing to risk it for a sneaky meet.

I had a couple profile years ago and the dynamic can really test a relationship, the ladies get so much more attention than the men that they have to have great self confidence and trust in their partner.

Some people get more out of a sly one. Then they do of the one their partner knows above"

There are cheaters in and out of Fab - it’s a microcosm of the wider population.

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By *ouble Trouble 1000Couple
over a year ago

ireland

For us there is nothing more important than our relationship ,and if either one of us decided we no longer wanted to indulge in this lifestyle then we would both bow out gracefully ;having enjoyed our time but happy for us both to call it a day .

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"For us there is nothing more important than our relationship ,and if either one of us decided we no longer wanted to indulge in this lifestyle then we would both bow out gracefully ;having enjoyed our time but happy for us both to call it a day ."

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