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Support group for Fab members struggling

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By *ustin-Sider OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast

I've deliberated over this for quite a while.

Ever since I became a member of Fab and became a frequent member on the Ireland forum, from time to time I have noticed fellow members on threads talking about their hardships and struggles, and at times some have seemed in deep despair. I've been one of those people at times.

We've all been in that dark place at one time or another.

I've seen great advice being given out by supportive and encouraging members which have included visiting a GP, perhaps seeking appropriate medications...... leaving the house to get out..... for exercise, change of scenery, clearing the head, talking to someone close or maybe not close at all as sometimes it can be more helpful to talk to a third party.

And to those of you who have always been encouraging in those ways, you have nothing but my full admiration and I am sure there are persons on here who have benefited from that kindness.

Sooooo, my point from this thread is this...... I wish to set up a support group for any Fab members that go through hard times. Something they can turn to when they feel their GP or medications or other alternatives aren't the option for them. An avenue for them to vent or release.

A KIK group is my initial thought, to start with.

However as the only OP in that KIK group I really honestly would not be able to give enough time to those needing a shoulder so I was wondering if any of you good folk would like to volunteer to be side OPs in such a group.

I've been on these forums long enough to get an idea of who are well meaning and who are not. If interested then please PM me.

In addition to that I must also say, any person that becomes an OP..... we all know what Fab is about and why we are here..... but beyond that there is a social aspect and things that are more important.

The one thing that shall not be tolerated is anyone trying to take advantage of someone's vulnerability. If you genuinely want to help then great. If it is seen at any time that you are trying to take an advantage then you shall immediately be removed from the group.

I'm well aware this idea and support group shall have teething problems but I'm willing to work with that and I'm open to ideas and suggestions.

If this idea or group happens to take off then I'd be willing to create a basic website to further support it and build that website up as we go along, and who knows, maybe people outside of Fab could maybe also benefit from it.

Fab is a community. The Ireland forum here is a community. It may be a secretive one, but it's a secret we all share together, yet it is still a community and so we should support one another.

I look forward to your ideas, inputs and thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've deliberated over this for quite a while.

Ever since I became a member of Fab and became a frequent member on the Ireland forum, from time to time I have noticed fellow members on threads talking about their hardships and struggles, and at times some have seemed in deep despair. I've been one of those people at times.

We've all been in that dark place at one time or another.

I've seen great advice being given out by supportive and encouraging members which have included visiting a GP, perhaps seeking appropriate medications...... leaving the house to get out..... for exercise, change of scenery, clearing the head, talking to someone close or maybe not close at all as sometimes it can be more helpful to talk to a third party.

And to those of you who have always been encouraging in those ways, you have nothing but my full admiration and I am sure there are persons on here who have benefited from that kindness.

Sooooo, my point from this thread is this...... I wish to set up a support group for any Fab members that go through hard times. Something they can turn to when they feel their GP or medications or other alternatives aren't the option for them. An avenue for them to vent or release.

A KIK group is my initial thought, to start with.

However as the only OP in that KIK group I really honestly would not be able to give enough time to those needing a shoulder so I was wondering if any of you good folk would like to volunteer to be side OPs in such a group.

I've been on these forums long enough to get an idea of who are well meaning and who are not. If interested then please PM me.

In addition to that I must also say, any person that becomes an OP..... we all know what Fab is about and why we are here..... but beyond that there is a social aspect and things that are more important.

The one thing that shall not be tolerated is anyone trying to take advantage of someone's vulnerability. If you genuinely want to help then great. If it is seen at any time that you are trying to take an advantage then you shall immediately be removed from the group.

I'm well aware this idea and support group shall have teething problems but I'm willing to work with that and I'm open to ideas and suggestions.

If this idea or group happens to take off then I'd be willing to create a basic website to further support it and build that website up as we go along, and who knows, maybe people outside of Fab could maybe also benefit from it.

Fab is a community. The Ireland forum here is a community. It may be a secretive one, but it's a secret we all share together, yet it is still a community and so we should support one another.

I look forward to your ideas, inputs and thoughts."

Great idea well done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've deliberated over this for quite a while.

Ever since I became a member of Fab and became a frequent member on the Ireland forum, from time to time I have noticed fellow members on threads talking about their hardships and struggles, and at times some have seemed in deep despair. I've been one of those people at times.

We've all been in that dark place at one time or another.

I've seen great advice being given out by supportive and encouraging members which have included visiting a GP, perhaps seeking appropriate medications...... leaving the house to get out..... for exercise, change of scenery, clearing the head, talking to someone close or maybe not close at all as sometimes it can be more helpful to talk to a third party.

And to those of you who have always been encouraging in those ways, you have nothing but my full admiration and I am sure there are persons on here who have benefited from that kindness.

Sooooo, my point from this thread is this...... I wish to set up a support group for any Fab members that go through hard times. Something they can turn to when they feel their GP or medications or other alternatives aren't the option for them. An avenue for them to vent or release.

A KIK group is my initial thought, to start with.

However as the only OP in that KIK group I really honestly would not be able to give enough time to those needing a shoulder so I was wondering if any of you good folk would like to volunteer to be side OPs in such a group.

I've been on these forums long enough to get an idea of who are well meaning and who are not. If interested then please PM me.

In addition to that I must also say, any person that becomes an OP..... we all know what Fab is about and why we are here..... but beyond that there is a social aspect and things that are more important.

The one thing that shall not be tolerated is anyone trying to take advantage of someone's vulnerability. If you genuinely want to help then great. If it is seen at any time that you are trying to take an advantage then you shall immediately be removed from the group.

I'm well aware this idea and support group shall have teething problems but I'm willing to work with that and I'm open to ideas and suggestions.

If this idea or group happens to take off then I'd be willing to create a basic website to further support it and build that website up as we go along, and who knows, maybe people outside of Fab could maybe also benefit from it.

Fab is a community. The Ireland forum here is a community. It may be a secretive one, but it's a secret we all share together, yet it is still a community and so we should support one another.

I look forward to your ideas, inputs and thoughts."

Great idea... got to say my first thought was sadly people will just use this to try and initiate more fab based interactions so was great to hear that addressed in the OP. If ya need a hand give me a shout

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Great idea OP fair play....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a great idea ... I would be prepared to assist ...

it should be pointed out that this is not a group for people having difficulties getting a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic idea and we wish you all the best darling.

Psyche

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just dont get this. Why not just keep your private life just that "private" why would people want to expose their vulnerabilities to other anonymous users on a sex site.

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By *lassy lady 216Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

It's for people who feel they have nowhere else to turn for help or feel that they can't ask there families or friends for help sometimes it is just so much easier to talk to a complete stranger they don't know you so they won't judge or you won't feel like you are letting them down I never thought I would ever be in such a dark place that I would consider taking my own life but 2yrs ago I was the thing that stopped me was I got news that I was going to be an auntie again thank God I didn't do what I was considering because I would have missed out on so much I love my nephew too bits he saved my life x

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By *uscious louWoman
over a year ago

dublin

Such a wonderful and kind thing to do fair play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just dont get this. Why not just keep your private life just that "private" why would people want to expose their vulnerabilities to other anonymous users on a sex site."

I am with you here. There are so many other annon places that are there to facilitate people who need it. There are far too many nutters on here who would only be too happy to exploit people at their most vulnerable.

It is an admirable idea but not the forum to begin it.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

I think it's a great idea. It's always good to share a problem and chat to other understanding people. I'll pm you.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

As I have a penis I can't contact you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great idea op fair play to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great idea.. Speaking to a stranger is often easier

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By *ohnsmithMan
over a year ago

South Tipperary

[Removed by poster at 18/01/19 13:46:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've deliberated over this for quite a while.

Ever since I became a member of Fab and became a frequent member on the Ireland forum, from time to time I have noticed fellow members on threads talking about their hardships and struggles, and at times some have seemed in deep despair. I've been one of those people at times.

We've all been in that dark place at one time or another.

I've seen great advice being given out by supportive and encouraging members which have included visiting a GP, perhaps seeking appropriate medications...... leaving the house to get out..... for exercise, change of scenery, clearing the head, talking to someone close or maybe not close at all as sometimes it can be more helpful to talk to a third party.

And to those of you who have always been encouraging in those ways, you have nothing but my full admiration and I am sure there are persons on here who have benefited from that kindness.

Sooooo, my point from this thread is this...... I wish to set up a support group for any Fab members that go through hard times. Something they can turn to when they feel their GP or medications or other alternatives aren't the option for them. An avenue for them to vent or release.

A KIK group is my initial thought, to start with.

However as the only OP in that KIK group I really honestly would not be able to give enough time to those needing a shoulder so I was wondering if any of you good folk would like to volunteer to be side OPs in such a group.

I've been on these forums long enough to get an idea of who are well meaning and who are not. If interested then please PM me.

In addition to that I must also say, any person that becomes an OP..... we all know what Fab is about and why we are here..... but beyond that there is a social aspect and things that are more important.

The one thing that shall not be tolerated is anyone trying to take advantage of someone's vulnerability. If you genuinely want to help then great. If it is seen at any time that you are trying to take an advantage then you shall immediately be removed from the group.

I'm well aware this idea and support group shall have teething problems but I'm willing to work with that and I'm open to ideas and suggestions.

If this idea or group happens to take off then I'd be willing to create a basic website to further support it and build that website up as we go along, and who knows, maybe people outside of Fab could maybe also benefit from it.

Fab is a community. The Ireland forum here is a community. It may be a secretive one, but it's a secret we all share together, yet it is still a community and so we should support one another.

I look forward to your ideas, inputs and thoughts."

Leave it to the professionals.

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By *ohnsmithMan
over a year ago

South Tipperary

Great idea op. Like to help if I can... Pm me..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just dont get this. Why not just keep your private life just that "private" why would people want to expose their vulnerabilities to other anonymous users on a sex site."

I somewhat agree with you, however, sometimes it’s easier to open up to a stranger or someone from a ‘fantasy world’ if you will. Sometimes just saying hello to someone and shooting the breeze with them which may seem nothing out of the ordinary to you, may just stop that person from doing something with that thought in their head. I’m for anything that saves even one life and fair play to the OP for his idea. We all need to cherish ideas, for it keeps the cycle of life going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noble idea. However, one that i feel is naive. People can have serious issues. A user on this thread has already shared that they have contemplated suicide. So the problems are as serious as you get. People need specialist training to deal with these topics. Amateur hour on something likr this is dangerous. I know the intent of this whole idea is well intended. However i fear that this is a bad idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great idea op. A few months ago a guy posted with suicidal thoughts and I messaged him and just chatted about everything and anything cause sometimes it just helps to talk.

And it's not easy to tell a family friend or friend that you are struggling etc even if they the best in the world. Most people are so busy and when things are falling apart people get embarrassed and don't want to out other people out etc.

Even just chatting about normal life can break them hard thoughts. So op any help I can give let me know

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By *ustin-Sider OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast

So, I finally got round to it. Wanted to set this up sooner but I have been snowed under with a lot of things, hence my previous comment about honestly not having enough time to manage it all by myself (Point proven I think).

I've read over all the comments on this thread and I totally understand the viewpoint of those who see how and why this idea might not work.

As I said previously, I'm well aware that there will be teething problems and I'm willing to work with it and see how it goes.

If it doesn't work then at least it was attempted but if this happens to save even just one life, or on a lesser scale help people feel better about any severe difficulties they may be having then it will have been worth it.

The Kik username is FabStandsTogether and for any of you who don't have Kik you can email FabStandsTogether@gmail.com

To those who contacted me with regards to offering assistance, please PM me so we can work together to take this idea one step further.

Thanks for reading.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This time 2 years ago my life got turned upside down and things really got me down, I had been on Fab before and decided to come back to see if things had changed just to distract me from everyday life. It was the chat rooms and the forums that kept me going as like others have said here its not always possible to chat to your friends and family about what your truly feeling. A few of my old friends are still on here and they know a bit about my situation and the words of encouragement that I received from them really made a difference to me. Yes this is a swingers site but we are also all human beings and support can be found in places that you least expect to find it. On the other side there were a few who slated me for being on here and was told some nasty things but people like that never think about why a person may be striking out and realise that nasty comments can knock a person down again.

I still find a need to chat with people at times as it has been a long 2 years and things have got easier but thats another story.

I think this is a great idea but just state to people that you are just a chat group for people and that your not professionally qualified therapists. A person who needs help will want to chat to anyone who will listen as that was how I was.

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By *lay2018Couple
over a year ago

westmeath & roscommon.

Silly idea. This is not the place for this IMO. I would never share my personal problems with anyone on here if I needed help.

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By *ustin-Sider OP   Man
over a year ago

Belfast


"Silly idea. This is not the place for this IMO. I would never share my personal problems with anyone on here if I needed help. "

I hope you're never in that position. Some of us have been though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thus is a wonderful idea! I met a group of people on Fab almost a year ago. And they have become some of my closest friends. We share everthing with eachother. I went threw a breakup and if not for them and there support I'm not sure if I'd have made it. Yes this is a sex site but there is a great social aspect too. As evidenced by the various parties and meets. Yes its not professional help. But if anyone is like me that isn't for them. I've been there and still felt uncomfortable with telling my therapist certain aspects of me. But chatting with people who have there own kinks and similar kinks has mabe me feel more open and free to talk. Please everybody don't knock it until you've tried it and I honestly hope the naysayers never have too. Good luck to all who use and help in this endeavour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just checked it out on kik. ( I think it is a great idea) However maybe a creating a group as well as just a username. It would allow multiple people to help and it could mean the burden isn't placed on one person to monitor the kik constantly.

I would imagine that if anyone needed help and experienced a delay in hearing back, it might make things worse for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus. This is not a hood idea. I would urge anyone to seek out trustworthy professionals instead of this. Professional counsellors, doctors etc have years of training and experience. They follow a code of ethics. This is an insane idea and has the potential to be fatal.

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