FabSwingers.com forum: 3 Terrible Words to hear on Xmas Eve..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some assembly required

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert

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By *sa_curiousMan
over a year ago

Waterford

Batteries not included

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, we're here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert"

How are you with Turkey?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert

How are you with Turkey?"

Shit

I can't cook

I'm not perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ovens broken!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ovens broken!"

Disaster!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ready for Mass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Black Forest cake

(it’s my birthday and I hate cream)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's parts missing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OFF LICENCE CLOSED!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you free?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you free? "

Lot of them today

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Feed the World

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgot the gravy

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By *eankaren88Couple
over a year ago

By the sea

sprouts are ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs Browns Boys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mrs Browns Boys"

Worst horror of all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lets get married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lets get married

Oh that really is worst horror of all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/12/18 19:42:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ovens broken!

Disaster!!!"

And it happened one year halfway through cooking the turkey. We all remember that one!

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By *ohng69Man
over a year ago

athenry

The tv's broken. I got a panic call last night from a friend looking for a spare tv as hers was broken, and her teenage son was distraught at not being able to watch Xmas movies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Half price sale

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert

How are you with Turkey?

Shit

I can't cook

I'm not perfect

I'll cook for you

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"Lets get married

Christ no that's a nightmare

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By *acey_smWoman
over a year ago

westmeath

Last orders please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lets get married

Christ no that's a nightmare"

I'd marry you tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/12/18 20:44:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brought a friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

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By *DSGCouple
over a year ago

That place in

Santa doesn't exist

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

I don't play with myself

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Bird needs stuffing (and she hands u a pair of gloves hold theses legs open "turkey legs

)

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

I don't play with myself

Liar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bird needs stuffing (and she hands u a pair of gloves hold theses legs open "turkey legs

good enough for ya cj

Man up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

I don't play with myself

Liar

Pants aflame

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Santa doesn't exist

You guys have a sick mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

It's purple anyway not blue

Ffs you just want me to post another pic

I might be bored enough tomorrow to do that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

It's purple anyway not blue

Ffs you just want me to post another pic

I might be bored enough tomorrow to do that

Someone needs to give you a rubiks cube to practise

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

Wheres the batterys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

It's purple anyway not blue

Ffs you just want me to post another pic

I might be bored enough tomorrow to do that

Someone needs to give you a rubiks cube to practise

I mastered that many moons ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

But wine chilling in the fridge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

But wine chilling in the fridge

Damn woman who puts red wine in the fridge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

But wine chilling in the fridge

Damn woman who puts red wine in the fridge?

Ooooh yours is breathing on the mantelpiece so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance "

Permanently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Like her wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

My tree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

My tree

Actually Fast. I have upgraded from hobnobs. A recent meet upgraded and you need to up your game to Foxes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol "

It won't kill you. Wanna share?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?"

I did. Gave it away lol I dont eat sugar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

My tree

Actually Fast. I have upgraded from hobnobs. A recent meet upgraded and you need to up your game to Foxes

Foxes !!!!! What !!!

Geordie leave the neighborhood, if you go quietly now it will be best for all .

This is a hobnob neighborhood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?"

You could be getting it next year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?"

Obviously they don't know me that well or would have got me a schlong of salami

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?

Obviously they don't know me that well or would have got me a schlong of salami

This is true

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

We've no bread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've no bread"

You won't die

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

"We've no bread

You won't die

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ran outa cream

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By *ippa 63TV/TS
over a year ago

St Helens

Im off to bed see you in the morning. But its only 9 o clock.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

We're abit early.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

Is that mistletoe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did santy cum

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"Did santy cum

Not yet he has great staminia that fella

he stays going all night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ate tomorrow's food

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Your terminally ill|

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"Your terminally ill|

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that it?

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

"Ran outa cream

Forgive the pun....but im sure youll get plenty of offers of cream...oh god

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

Dublin for sam .... ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ran outa cream

Forgive the pun....but im sure youll get plenty of offers of cream...oh god

Was waiting on that

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By *man79Man
over a year ago

newry dundalk. warrenpoint

There’s no Santa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Kids are awake”

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By *elticmixMan
over a year ago

Antrim / Sligo

"Have the receipt?"

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

"Ran outa cream

Forgive the pun....but im sure youll get plenty of offers of cream...oh god

Was waiting on that

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By *arshmallow_CannonMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There's the classic: "Is it in?"

Alternatively:

"I'm actually fifteen"

"No internet access"

"No toilet paper"

"Oh, you're awake"

More Christmas related - "Santas come early"

But my personal favourite most terrifying phrase is "we should talk"

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By *rinibooWoman
over a year ago

clare

Did I hear something

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By *traycats2Couple
over a year ago

Dublin

No gin left

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By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

I've no drink

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Fuck it all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Downton abbeys on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It needs

Extra Small Screwdriver

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By *ka ..Agent k ..Man
over a year ago

"Some assembly required

Religion,football,politics

They all end in row.

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By *umpsMan
over a year ago

city

Car won't start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Fucking in-laws!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's my mum"

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

Is that all

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By *uliacWoman
over a year ago

dublin

maybe next year

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"Lets get married

Christ no that's a nightmare

I'd marry you tho

Only if it's in the new year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of drinks

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Are u in yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mams coming

( not the gud type come either lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Got my periods

Cue; background music...

"By the rivers of babylon"

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By *umpsMan
over a year ago

city

Santa's not real

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By *traycats2Couple
over a year ago

Dublin

"Got my periods

Cue; background music...

"By the rivers of babylon""
that was my present from Santa the asshole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bank accounts empty.... nothing worse than hearing that

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By *arbiegirl19Woman
over a year ago

Hollymount

Think I'm pregnant..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think I'm pregnant.. "

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think I'm pregnant.. "

Lovely ..fucking ..lovely..

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By *umpsMan
over a year ago

city

"Think I'm pregnant.. "

What! Pregnant! How?

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By *otstuff42Man
over a year ago

country

Right

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By *iktikiCouple
over a year ago

city centre

Liverpool top premier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sacre fucking bleu

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