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Social anxiety breaking the ice tips .

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By *eebaw OP   Man
over a year ago

.

Hey everyone hope yer keeping well have been off here for a while loged back in to see ll the naughtiness lol .

I know i posted along this topic before ( the anxiety depression etc )

Do any of ye on here men and ladies of course find it hard to break the ice and pull on a night out ?

I find when im out with the lads i pubs clubs etc i just cant seam to figure out the way of makeing the inital contact . Any tips ?

I think theres the fear of regection and the fear of not knowing what to say ? Or the fear of makeing a mess of it .

Id love to be like most guys thats able to pick up women when out or even just over come the shyness .

Its easier on here as the inital contact is by message or kik then when meeting at likes of vanilla theres a little ice broken on the kik .

Any tips appriciated and no smart comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea. I tried to chat up a guy twice in my life and failed miserably. And I never get chatted up they usually chat to me to find out my friends name.

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

Beebaw your a goodlooking guy . Young and fit. Just believe in yourself. Whats the worst she can say ... no ?? So what ...next please .. . Dont take life so serious ....have fun ask the girl. If this old bird can yoy certainly can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going by your verifications can't see why u have any issue chatting any woman on any night out. The ladies love ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who was once in your shoes for quite a long time I really feel for ya, I know your pain. But if you can chat and be charming in kik etc you can do it in person too believe me. Just be that same person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well _eebaw you have seen in person the way I do break it dont just crack it smash it just say what ever comes to mind the more mad the better keep them laughing but if they don't laugh in the first minute just stop talking and turn around and walk away most girls will follow to find out what the fuck u wanted and the conversation will take off, but seriously stay away if girls are in 2s better off if there's a gang of them out lik which reminds me u and me are due a night out lad ha

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx


"As someone who was once in your shoes for quite a long time I really feel for ya, I know your pain. But if you can chat and be charming in kik etc you can do it in person too believe me. Just be that same person."

What lovely advise xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey everyone hope yer keeping well have been off here for a while loged back in to see ll the naughtiness lol .

I know i posted along this topic before ( the anxiety depression etc )

Do any of ye on here men and ladies of course find it hard to break the ice and pull on a night out ?

I find when im out with the lads i pubs clubs etc i just cant seam to figure out the way of makeing the inital contact . Any tips ?

I think theres the fear of regection and the fear of not knowing what to say ? Or the fear of makeing a mess of it .

Id love to be like most guys thats able to pick up women when out or even just over come the shyness .

Its easier on here as the inital contact is by message or kik then when meeting at likes of vanilla theres a little ice broken on the kik .

Any tips appriciated and no smart comments "

Pepsi and Vera lynne... every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Main thing for all lads is thou remember you have nothing to lose lik all is to gain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Approach people that really interest you or catch your eye, and tell them exactly why.

Might not always work but at least it gives you an organic opening line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always found there's a right opportunity to approach and go on a gut feeling, if you think you have a chance go for it, feck rejection nobody's immune to it..

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Awe jayus bee its the same as here just slide up beside em and ask "fancy a fook"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Awe jayus bee its the same as here just slide up beside em and ask "fancy a fook" "

Or try your move cj

Which I seem to recall was dropping your drawers and kneeling on the bed and waving your ass in my face

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Awe jayus bee its the same as here just slide up beside em and ask "fancy a fook"

Or try your move cj

Which I seem to recall was dropping your drawers and kneeling on the bed and waving your ass in my face "

U still flick the bean at that sight geordie admitt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually the opposite to this I find I can pull on a night out a lot easier, look it goes good and bad all the time haha depends how d*unk you are and how d*unk they are , I'm a good looking guy but I'm not everyone's type the same way I might think a girl is gorgeous and you wouldn't, I've found the best way is get their attention walk past them look at them when they look at you give a smile or wink you get a smile back its normally game ball but you need to know a flirty smile from a friendly one , If that dosnt work , just go and say hi and talk or if you smoke ask for a lighter if they are in smoking area , or the dance floor is brilliant for pulling as well , or get a wing man if you can't do it yourself, I have a mate and we take turns he gets them then I do , don't be standing in groups girls will always get embarrassed if there's too many unless she has her mates then you can make the move perfect opportunity just pop over what's your name where you from ? Your definitely the best looking out of your friends your stunning, compliments is the key here pal , you got this pal you can do it !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm actually the opposite to this I find I can pull on a night out a lot easier, look it goes good and bad all the time haha depends how d*unk you are and how d*unk they are , I'm a good looking guy but I'm not everyone's type the same way I might think a girl is gorgeous and you wouldn't, I've found the best way is get their attention walk past them look at them when they look at you give a smile or wink you get a smile back its normally game ball but you need to know a flirty smile from a friendly one , If that dosnt work , just go and say hi and talk or if you smoke ask for a lighter if they are in smoking area , or the dance floor is brilliant for pulling as well , or get a wing man if you can't do it yourself, I have a mate and we take turns he gets them then I do , don't be standing in groups girls will always get embarrassed if there's too many unless she has her mates then you can make the move perfect opportunity just pop over what's your name where you from ? Your definitely the best looking out of your friends your stunning, compliments is the key here pal , you got this pal you can do it !! "

Oh my god, if only every single guy in a club was like you... we wouldn’t need fab... a lot of guys just wait for it to happen, which makes it intimidating.. be friendly, have a dance, and flirt and engage.. job done xx

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By *handycornWoman
over a year ago

BELFAST

I'm a sucker for someone with good eye contact, who seems interested and a bit flirtatious. So my advice would be, look her in the eyes a lot, ask her questions and really concentrate on listening to the answers (forget about yourself and what she might be thinking about you) and touch her arm gently once or twice... That's enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm actually the opposite to this I find I can pull on a night out a lot easier, look it goes good and bad all the time haha depends how d*unk you are and how d*unk they are , I'm a good looking guy but I'm not everyone's type the same way I might think a girl is gorgeous and you wouldn't, I've found the best way is get their attention walk past them look at them when they look at you give a smile or wink you get a smile back its normally game ball but you need to know a flirty smile from a friendly one , If that dosnt work , just go and say hi and talk or if you smoke ask for a lighter if they are in smoking area , or the dance floor is brilliant for pulling as well , or get a wing man if you can't do it yourself, I have a mate and we take turns he gets them then I do , don't be standing in groups girls will always get embarrassed if there's too many unless she has her mates then you can make the move perfect opportunity just pop over what's your name where you from ? Your definitely the best looking out of your friends your stunning, compliments is the key here pal , you got this pal you can do it !!

Oh my god, if only every single guy in a club was like you... we wouldn’t need fab... a lot of guys just wait for it to happen, which makes it intimidating.. be friendly, have a dance, and flirt and engage.. job done xx"

Ah look the op has loads of verifications he's just hit a rough confidence patch happens everyone them few tips will help break the ice once he finds his way he be strolling over to them

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By *eebaw OP   Man
over a year ago

.

Cheers for the advice everyone the verifications are mainly from parties really . But as few said ye iv hit low confidence . Wil have to tackle some of this advice on a night out .

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

A few weeks ago I was out for a night out with friends.

I must admit I was quite far on alcohol-wise and there was a beautifl looking woman sitting at the table next to us with her friends.

I have nearly always had the same problem as yourself op, in not being able to make the initial approach.

Also, I am usually someone who never dances as I am too self conscious.

At that moment though a song came on that I love and I thought "Frig it, what's the worst that can happen?". I held my hand out to her as I said "No ulterior motive, I'd just love to have a dance with you".

We danced, we twirled, we sang, we smiled, we laughed the night away and I must have really let go because my friends said they were sitting gobsmacked at me pulling of John Travolta type moves and thatt the two of us just seemed to be exuding an aura of fun and joy as if we didn't have a care in the world.

I did not exchange contact details with the woman as I am still not ready to move on after my latest partner passing away.

But I say this to you op. In that moment as I thought about my late partner, I also realised how life is seriously and really way to short. I. Future, seize the moment and embrace it. The worst that can happen is you will get a no or a rejection but most women who are decent will usually do in a gentle and kind way.

Go for it next time op. Don't let life pass you by. If I can do it. You can too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well _eebaw you have seen in person the way I do break it dont just crack it smash it just say what ever comes to mind the more mad the better keep them laughing but if they don't laugh in the first minute just stop talking and turn around and walk away most girls will follow to find out what the fuck u wanted and the conversation will take off, but seriously stay away if girls are in 2s better off if there's a gang of them out lik which reminds me u and me are due a night out lad ha "

Il bounce out with yous we can work as a team help our fellow brother back to himself we can all laugh at each other getting rejected then ,we can all high five when we pull haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few weeks ago I was out for a night out with friends.

I must admit I was quite far on alcohol-wise and there was a beautifl looking woman sitting at the table next to us with her friends.

I have nearly always had the same problem as yourself op, in not being able to make the initial approach.

Also, I am usually someone who never dances as I am too self conscious.

At that moment though a song came on that I love and I thought "Frig it, what's the worst that can happen?". I held my hand out to her as I said "No ulterior motive, I'd just love to have a dance with you".

We danced, we twirled, we sang, we smiled, we laughed the night away and I must have really let go because my friends said they were sitting gobsmacked at me pulling of John Travolta type moves and thatt the two of us just seemed to be exuding an aura of fun and joy as if we didn't have a care in the world.

I did not exchange contact details with the woman as I am still not ready to move on after my latest partner passing away.

But I say this to you op. In that moment as I thought about my late partner, I also realised how life is seriously and really way to short. I. Future, seize the moment and embrace it. The worst that can happen is you will get a no or a rejection but most women who are decent will usually do in a gentle and kind way.

Go for it next time op. Don't let life pass you by. If I can do it. You can too.

"

Well said life is short and the worst they can say is no

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown


"Hey everyone hope yer keeping well have been off here for a while loged back in to see ll the naughtiness lol .

I know i posted along this topic before ( the anxiety depression etc )

Do any of ye on here men and ladies of course find it hard to break the ice and pull on a night out ?

I find when im out with the lads i pubs clubs etc i just cant seam to figure out the way of makeing the inital contact . Any tips ?

I think theres the fear of regection and the fear of not knowing what to say ? Or the fear of makeing a mess of it .

Id love to be like most guys thats able to pick up women when out or even just over come the shyness .

Its easier on here as the inital contact is by message or kik then when meeting at likes of vanilla theres a little ice broken on the kik .

Any tips appriciated and no smart comments "

-----------------

There can only be a "fear of rejection" if your main objective is "to pull"

Instead of that..

1. Take the pressure off yourself and simply CHAT to a woman "Hey, that's a nice bracelet" or "Like the heels/earrings... the pair I have at home are a different colour though"

Main thing here is to just "chat" to a woman instead of putting pressure on yourself "to score" in front of the lads...

2. EVERY man feels presure approaching a woman unless he's d*unk and in that case he'll just be a rambling eejit most of the time. Use your charm and don't just walk straight over. Instead talk to her from the side (least threatening)

3. One trick that's worked... is that if you see a woman off in the distance in the club, wave over to her If she waves back she's keen to chat, so go talk to her. If she doesn't wave back, no one will notice and no harm done Just have a half decent follow up line ready after this one

3. Learn to dance and don't rely on alcohol to give you dutch courage or get you on the dance floor. The more sober you are, the more you see everything that's happening around you in the club. Plus someone might need a life home!

4. Start believing in yourself Op. You're as good as any man out there ...and probably better than most

Now, the above has worked for me so hope it's of some use to you

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