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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Hi all really just looking for a bit of advice how do you keep the 2 separate I am just finding it so hard to keep the 2 separate as I am constantly having to tell lies to family and friends about where I am going and what I am doing also feel like maybe it's time that I was honest to them about who I am and what I get upto after all it is nothing to be ashamed of we all have sex just wondering has anyone else ever felt the same and how they dealt with it all advice welcome

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

Its totally up to you. I keep both very very seperate. I wouldn't be comfortable sharing with my nearest and dearest. Thibk long and hard about the ramifications of telling others

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By *aidbare5Couple
over a year ago

down the road

First rule of fab.

What happens in fab stays in fab.

Second rule of fab.

What happens in fab stays in fab.

Simple!

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

But how do you keep the too separate I just don't like lying to my friends and family and just sometimes feel it would be great if I had someone who I can share my experiences with I know if I told my family they would be mortified but surely after the initial shock they would accept it

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Thanks for your reply _aidbare5 but you are a couple so you have each other to share experiences etc with I'm a single woman

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

Who gives a flying fuck what you do? It's your life, you do what you enjoy. You don't have to tell anybody.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you really have to justify yourself?

If it's a social- I just say I'm going out on a date or meeting friends.

If it's playtime - I usually arrange it to be an all night thing to go straight to work after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But how do you keep the too separate I just don't like lying to my friends and family and just sometimes feel it would be great if I had someone who I can share my experiences with I know if I told my family they would be mortified but surely after the initial shock they would accept it "

Sorry you say your a single woman.. I'm mean no partner(question Mark button not working., apologies) why do you feel guilty about telling your family. You have the right to privacy..

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By *ilf46Man
over a year ago

South East Area , Leinster


"First rule of fab.

What happens in fab stays in fab.

Second rule of fab.

What happens in fab stays in fab.

Simple!"

I agree with above just keep fab simple and do whatever in your own time and when suits so the lies don't build up

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By *inxnmasterCouple
over a year ago

naughty valley

have a coming out , the hypocrites will act disgusted and may stay away from you ...which you want anyway. True friends may not pursue the same lifestyle but they won’t judge you for it either .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mean to sound ignorant but why should you friends and family know anything about yo7r activities here?? What you do in your personal life is your decision and nobody else's so nobody needs to know.

Enjoy your time here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Emma what ever you do is ur own decision. Ur lucky to have family u can trust to share things with best of luck

Ps just checking ur profile cute pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single lady too OP and what I do is just confide in one or two Very select friends just to keep me safe, so they know where I'm going etc. I have no guilt over not telling family and other friends about my activities, it's not their business. You're entitled to some 'You' time! So what if it's a little kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once u say it u can never take it back, I’d keep it in my mind as a “naughty hobby”

And if ur family etc ask tell them ur off on a tinder date etc it’s ur life and if it was me I’d give a sarcastic funny reply like ohhh I’m off out getting the arse rode off me by so random guy

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By *aidbare5Couple
over a year ago

down the road


"Thanks for your reply _aidbare5 but you are a couple so you have each other to share experiences etc with I'm a single woman "

This is true and it is great to have someone to share it with but definitely not worth telling family or friends about your fab life. People outside fab living vanilla lives don't understand swinging. Unfortunately we are a few years away from it been accepted and normal in this country. You don't want to go to weddings and birthday party's and be concerned about what people are thinking of you. Keep your secret and your pride!

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By *aleeraWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

I totally understand your point of view. If you feel you are trapped in the closet, come out! I was always very open about my preferences so my family and close friends know and no big deal about that. I just want to be honest with myself and don't need to have my underground world. Everyone is different though. They know what me and my husband are into, but we never go into details. The rule what happen on fab stays on fab still applies

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By *aleeraWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Thanks for your reply _aidbare5 but you are a couple so you have each other to share experiences etc with I'm a single woman

This is true and it is great to have someone to share it with but definitely not worth telling family or friends about your fab life. People outside fab living vanilla lives don't understand swinging. Unfortunately we are a few years away from it been accepted and normal in this country. You don't want to go to weddings and birthday party's and be concerned about what people are thinking of you. Keep your secret and your pride! "

And maybe we are few years from it being accepted in this country because people don't want to talk about that and keep themselves in closets. Why not change it? Its ok to be LGBT around the world, but saying loud I'm non-monogamous, I fuck many people is a big deal...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I totally understand your point of view. If you feel you are trapped in the closet, come out! I was always very open about my preferences so my family and close friends know and no big deal about that. I just want to be honest with myself and don't need to have my underground world. Everyone is different though. They know what me and my husband are into, but we never go into details. The rule what happen on fab stays on fab still applies "

I admire your way of thinking and that works for you, but in my opinion, I think realistically in little old Ireland about 99% of family and friends don't need to know

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Thanks for your reply _aidbare5 but you are a couple so you have each other to share experiences etc with I'm a single woman

This is true and it is great to have someone to share it with but definitely not worth telling family or friends about your fab life. People outside fab living vanilla lives don't understand swinging. Unfortunately we are a few years away from it been accepted and normal in this country. You don't want to go to weddings and birthday party's and be concerned about what people are thinking of you. Keep your secret and your pride!

And maybe we are few years from it being accepted in this country because people don't want to talk about that and keep themselves in closets. Why not change it? Its ok to be LGBT around the world, but saying loud I'm non-monogamous, I fuck many people is a big deal..."
LGBT is frowned upon by more then you think.

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Here here ka leera that is exactly why we put some backward in the country because people very much want to hide in closets because it's easier than actually admitting who and what they are I'm not ashamed about what I do and don't feel any guilt I just meant that sometimes it would be nice if I could talk to my friends about what I do and what's going on in my life after all isn't that what friends are suppose to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh, I've never seen the need to discuss my sex life with anyone who's not involved in it. It's nothing to do with shame or guilt, it's just none of their business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tbh, I've never seen the need to discuss my sex life with anyone who's not involved in it. It's nothing to do with shame or guilt, it's just none of their business. "

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By *eankaren88Couple
over a year ago

By the sea


"I'm a single lady too OP and what I do is just confide in one or two Very select friends just to keep me safe, so they know where I'm going etc. I have no guilt over not telling family and other friends about my activities, it's not their business. You're entitled to some 'You' time! So what if it's a little kinky "

100% agree.

Keep it as a guilty pleasure..

If you tell friends and family some (most) will not agree and frown upon you (yet I'm sure they will be jealous of you)

It will take away from your enjoyment of the swinging lifestyle.

Keep it to a safety circle of friends.

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By *aleeraWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Once everyone is fair with themselves and don't feel trapped its grant. Either if you want to say it loud to someone you trust or just want to keep it for yourself. Trust your gut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so question for you. if you were dating someone would you tell your family and friends about your sex life? so how is this any different. Your meeting friends...they dont need to know any more than that. Keep it simple the more detail you put into the lies the more likely you are to be tripped up. The basic details can be accurate i.e. your meeting with a friend/couple you met recently...or going somewhere to a party...you can always tell the truth about where you are going/meeting just leave out why your meeting. that way its simpler.

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By *aleeraWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"so question for you. if you were dating someone would you tell your family and friends about your sex life? so how is this any different. Your meeting friends...they dont need to know any more than that. Keep it simple the more detail you put into the lies the more likely you are to be tripped up. The basic details can be accurate i.e. your meeting with a friend/couple you met recently...or going somewhere to a party...you can always tell the truth about where you are going/meeting just leave out why your meeting. that way its simpler."

The difference is that everyone knows I'm bisexual and in open relationship with my husband but as I mentioned already, I dont go into details That's the beauty of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my family but it doesn't mean they need to know all aspects of my life

If your heading out just keep it simple, for me I personally say its a work night out and no one asks any more about it

Do what you feel is right for you x

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

I'm just not sure what the right thing is I'm not even sure if fab is for me anymore you put effort into trying to organise things people say they will come then let you down at the last minute plus as a single woman you would think it would be easy to get invites etc to parties but not so it seems if your faces doesn't fit or your not part of the clique you aren't getting in

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"I'm just not sure what the right thing is I'm not even sure if fab is for me anymore you put effort into trying to organise things people say they will come then let you down at the last minute plus as a single woman you would think it would be easy to get invites etc to parties but not so it seems if your faces doesn't fit or your not part of the clique you aren't getting in "

Oh not the Clique again

They're a right shower of so and so's

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

Don't know about down south but up here in the north I just find that people aren't as open about the lifestyle they are afraid to go to parties etc because someone might reconise them of because of what they do for a job why should any of that matter if you are someone you know you be polite nod and walk on its not like they are going to say anything as they would be shooting themselves in the foot as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all really just looking for a bit of advice how do you keep the 2 separate I am just finding it so hard to keep the 2 separate as I am constantly having to tell lies to family and friends about where I am going and what I am doing also feel like maybe it's time that I was honest to them about who I am and what I get upto after all it is nothing to be ashamed of we all have sex just wondering has anyone else ever felt the same and how they dealt with it all advice welcome "

Don't make life hard for yourself and keep to yourself

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"Thanks for your reply _aidbare5 but you are a couple so you have each other to share experiences etc with I'm a single woman "

So make a few friends you can trust. While people may moan that 'it's not f*cking facebook', I've made some good trusted friends here along the way that I can talk to about anything. It doesn't have to be just sex you know... There's no rule that says you must shag everyone you talk to

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By *lassy lady 216 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Craigavon

No there isn't and I am very choosey about who I sleep with yes like you say I have made some very good friends from here

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