FabSwingers.com forum: Irresponsible

By *ryst In Isolde OP Woman
over a year ago

your imagination

I've been chatting to someone for a while and we'd giggled and swapped a few funny stories about things that had happened through swinging (no names disclosed naturally), but yesterday he confessed something pretty awful and its been playing on my mind, as its not the first instance of this kind of irresponsible behaviour I've heard of this year.

He recently tested positive for an STI (much to his surprise), and reluctantly did the responsible thing and started contacting previous sexual partners right back to before his last clear test. ALL of his previous partners denied ever having an STI and said they couldn't possibly have given it to him. Someone (if not more than one) is lying, or at the very least sticking their head in the sand and ignoring the risks, which in turn is putting others at risk.

STIs are extremely contagious, CAN be contracted orally, and unless you're going to be washing your hands to surgical cleanliness every 2 minutes during sexual contact after touching each other's genitals, if your partner has an STI, that condom you're about to slip on is about as effective as crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.

Protection or not, meeting people for any form of sexual contact while infected or having been told you may be infected is irresponsible in the extreme.

As someone who had to be told earlier this year by a very embarrassed third party that an former meet of mine had given her an STI (because the guy himself was too irresponsible to contact his former partners after she informed him), I find this kind of behaviour reprehensible. Thankfully I tested clear. But the whole dishonesty of the situation turned me off meeting anyone ever again completely.

In a lifestyle where everyone is connected to some degree by an intricate network of sexual partners, we all have a responsibility to get tested regularly and to deal with the consequences of our behaviour in a mature manner.

Is that too much to ask?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Its not to much to ask....And anyone on here that is passing these std"s around should be banned or named on here so other people that they have being in contact with know and can go and get checked out for there own peace of mind....nothing worse than person on here being totaly irresponsible and gambling with people Healt ....i say name them all

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By *ryst In Isolde OP Woman
over a year ago

your imagination

"No Its not to much to ask....And anyone on here that is passing these std"s around should be banned or named on here so other people that they have being in contact with know and can go and get checked out for there own peace of mind....nothing worse than person on here being totaly irresponsible and gambling with people Healt ....i say name them all"

I'm not concerned with naming and shaming, not my style. The purpose of the thread was to point out how misplaced trust can be, and also in part to hopefully prompt those who have been sticking their head in the sand and even those who haven't bothered to educate themselves to the risks, to wake up to reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And then guys wonder WHY some females and couples won't allow covered oral on a meet if it gets that far..WTF like

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Maybe they were not telling a lie, maybe the person who gave it to him was before his last clear test.

Basically how a test works is, it says you were clear 2-3 months ago for some std, and it says you were clear 6-12 months ago for stuff like hiv.

It does not give you an all clear today. To test clean 100% you have to take a test, have sex with no one, and re-take it 4-6 months later.

This is what you do if you're gonna get married etc.

but yea, there are sexually active people on here with HIV etc, and they take meds to stop it transferring etc etc etc.

Look after yourself, be a bit picky, and let others do what they want to, that's what I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people think it wont happen to them.Then theres the ones who are too embarrassed to go for the test or just plain lazy.I get tested in UK regularily but wouldnt know where to go here in Ireland.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but yea, there are sexually active people on here with HIV etc, and they take meds to stop it transferring etc etc etc.

Meds to stop them transferring....is there such a thing?

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

"but yea, there are sexually active people on here with HIV etc, and they take meds to stop it transferring etc etc etc.

Meds to stop them transferring....is there such a thing?"

Seemingly ... its very new and i certinly wouldn't trust it. Think its aimed at HIV patient. Only read one article on it si my knowledge is sketchy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course your not wrong pointing out the obvious here . There are two types of person here , those who weigh up the risks before a meet and those who think because they are on here for “fun” and nothing serious that you or anyone they meet have no right to question them about their practices and you must be a time waster for daring to ask when they have last been tested ! I’ve come across people who became enraged that I had the audacity to ask them about such things prior to agreeing to meet ! I was told I should loosen up and not be so serious , after all this is “fun” . I’ve been accused of apparently making people jump thru hoops for insisting on them telling me where they’ve been tested , how long ago , and for what before agreeing to fuck . Apparently I’m a fucking nightmare ! I won’t change how I do things tho , all any of us can do is treat everyone as if they’d just come from a bareback gangbang , and protect yourself as much as possible .

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By *ildiciousMan
over a year ago

City centre

"Meds to stop them transferring....is there such a thing?"

Modern HIV treatment can bring people’s viral load to undetectable levels. At that point they cannot infect partners and can give birth to healthy babies. This does not happen for everyone though, and requires diligent monitoring.

There is also PrEP, which is a drug for negative people that severely reduces chances of contracting HIV. Finally, if a healthy person gets exposed to HIV (medical worker accidents, say), there’s an emergency post-exposure treatment that prevents transmission.

None of this negates basic safe sex practices, of course.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"but yea, there are sexually active people on here with HIV etc, and they take meds to stop it transferring etc etc etc.

Meds to stop them transferring....is there such a thing?"

Sorry for the delay, but yeah. I looked it up because I couldn't believe someone was openly offering me bareback because they were on the meds.

Basically you become undetectable on hiv meds and then you stop becoming contagious through sex. Some people who do not have HIV take the meds as a "vaccine" and its been shown to stop them catching it.

Although the person was open, and obviously taking their health serious in their own way, and everything they said was true, it didn't sit well with me for it to be so casual.

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