FabSwingers.com forum: Brutally honest?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you do when chatting to someone, they send you face pics and you're not attracted to them? Don't reply, block them or are you brutally honest that you're not attracted? Would like to hear what other people do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply be honest with them but put it nicely of course and wish them well

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By *arry and AnnCouple
over a year ago

Louth

Just be honest, everyone is entitled to their own preferences. If they get shitty about it, then block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya sometimes it hard to do but it’s often for the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm only 2 weeks in so not sure what my opinion will have to offer, but I would hope someone would just put me right there and then and let me down gently as opposed to just blocking me of stopping any chat abruptly. I think that would be only fair and respectful.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reply be honest with them but put it nicely of course and wish them well

Sometimes can feel a bit brutal lol but I suppose in the long run it's probably the best option x

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I think when you got as far as exchanging face pics it's only fair to reply, block or no reply is just being a coward. Find the right words to soften the blow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely better off to be honest, may be a little brutal sometimes but definitely more worth it

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I'm sure honesty is the best policy but..... a reply saying no thank you gets you called all the names under the sun. I can only imagine what would happen if you told them they weren't your type. Tough choice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The mass has spoken, honesty it is!

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By *aughtyTippcplCouple
over a year ago

Nearby

Be nice about it but tell them the truth

We know we're not gonna be everyone's cup of tea on here and we accept that. We'd prefer those people to be honest with us. It saves time.

In that mindset we do the same and tell people if we're attracted or not

Tina

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reply be honest with them but put it nicely of course and wish them well

Sometimes can feel a bit brutal lol but I suppose in the long run it's probably the best option x"

Can be done nicely if wirded rightly.but honesty is best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m always honest send them my face pic to balance it out and say you’re not for me but thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d rather be ghosted personally... ignorance is bliss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’d rather be ghosted personally... ignorance is bliss

Lol Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much rather know... so honesty is best for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d rather be ghosted personally... ignorance is bliss

Snap

But I don't find face pics reliable and that's why I prefer to meet blind.

I've had some pics sent to me which did the sender no favours. Their personality attracted me to meeting them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All be honest but in a nice way, something simple as sorry but just not my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had two people on here honest enough to tell me they wern't interested, i think its the best way personally, no hard feelings or awkwardness, even if its not the easiest thing to do.

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By *ercymallowMan
over a year ago

Belfast / Dublin

I accept if I’m not the type they’re looking for, it’s natural to judge a book by its cover.

I continue to chat because I’m interested in people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Personally for me I'd rather not know either lol

But hey, everyone is different!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally for me I'd rather not know either lol

But hey, everyone is different!

"
yeah but fitblondie you’re a babe so you don’t have to worry bout that too much haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally for me I'd rather not know either lol

But hey, everyone is different!

yeah but fitblondie you’re a babe so you don’t have to worry bout that too much haha"

Well you can't be everyone's cup of tea! We all get rejected sometimes lol x

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I’m always honest send them my face pic to balance it out and say you’re not for me but thanks "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you have to be brutally honest? Or is been honest brutal? Is there a difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think half the threads that go up here, he called me this, she called me that, are as a result of poor communication through messaging, i dont think its too difficult to treat people with some dignity and respect, while still letting them know you dont find them attractive to "you"..

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By *ercymallowMan
over a year ago

Belfast / Dublin

I think it could be the brutallity of trust been abused in a strange definition.

To exchange something in this space which is ... “sacrad”.

To then be... well for a lack of better terminology.

“Shat on.”

Makes it appear more cut throat that... I guess you could say any other part of the anatomy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am brutally honest straight out with it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do you have to be brutally honest? Or is been honest brutal? Is there a difference? "

I think being honest is quite brutal as you are rejecting someone based purely off a few pictures. Maybe others have a better acceptance for rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be brutally honest, no point in lying to someone, if you don't find them attractive just say it

you do nothing for someone by not telling the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Believe me she is lol

I'll not repeat it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Believe me she is lol

I'll not repeat it

Lol you bollox!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be brutally honest, no point in lying to someone, if you don't find them attractive just say it

you do nothing for someone by not telling the truth"

Yeah Lim

But being told you have a face that would stop a clock is not doing anyone a favour either

Do maybe less of the brutal honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Believe me she is lol

I'll not repeat it

Lol you bollox!

"
aww she's warming ta me boys

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By *ineapple_PrincessWoman
over a year ago

in the waves

I think it can be done nicely without being hurtful.

Big difference saying no thanks youre not my type vs you're a total minger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Btw when I say brutally honest, I don't mean to be nasty to someone. It's a figure of speech lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be brutally honest, no point in lying to someone, if you don't find them attractive just say it

you do nothing for someone by not telling the truth

Yeah Lim

But being told you have a face that would stop a clock is not doing anyone a favour either

Do maybe less of the brutal honesty"

Okay like not insulting honest because that's just horrible but you should feel the need to pussy foot around things because you might upset someone, at the end of the day you can't please everyone and someone will get upset but never lead them on.

I guess I meant be honest but not like insulting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think honestly is best and being polite. Id be gutted if I sent a face pic and got blocked, I know im not the best looking though

What would you want OP if you sent a face pic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say what we think and wish happy fabing ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Btw when I say brutally honest, I don't mean to be nasty to someone. It's a figure of speech lol"
i got the message loud n clear

(backs outa the room real slow )

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By *ackandsashaCouple
over a year ago

West Dublin

"I think when you got as far as exchanging face pics it's only fair to reply, block or no reply is just being a coward. Find the right words to soften the blow.

+ 1

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

A face pic wouldn't influence me, I'm more interested in personality anyway.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Best to be honest...

Yes, it can sting a little as no one wants to be "rejected"

...but the worst is someone stringing another person along with zero interest of meeting as that's just playing childish headgames...

Honestly is the best Fab policy!

Best say No if not keen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most times honesty is the best policy. One time after nicely saying sorry not interested a few times I got told I was a fat slag who fucked half the site......

This was from someone who had been verifed 19 times! So obviously nice when its a yes but another story when its a no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most times honesty is the best policy. One time after nicely saying sorry not interested a few times I got told I was a fat slag who fucked half the site......

This was from someone who had been verifed 19 times! So obviously nice when its a yes but another story when its a no."

That's pathetic just cause you said no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually don't reply. Sometimes I explain if they seem really naive and shouldn't be sending face pics. I once or twice felt sorry and replied with pics in solidarity...but said no.

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By *ackandsashaCouple
over a year ago

West Dublin

"Most times honesty is the best policy. One time after nicely saying sorry not interested a few times I got told I was a fat slag who fucked half the site......

This was from someone who had been verifed 19 times! So obviously nice when its a yes but another story when its a no.

That's pathetic just cause you said no"

Judging by your 4 public pics.......yum !

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By *atureforminxMan
over a year ago

here and there

Just be honest., but polite. Attraction's a two way thing. If there's no attraction. What's the point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I’m renowned for being blunt....you just have to go honest fitblonde...

If I’m being honest here, I think your top drawer and out of my league.....??????

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By *ilf46Man
over a year ago

South East Area , Leinster

Just be honest and polite and leave it at that , if the profile appeals to you and the face doesn't no point in delaying the inevitable I pefer to be upfront and polite rather than 'your not my type ' text and then the block lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I guess just be honest with it. Never know when one might keep sending messages on the context that you may not be replying as girls do get loads of messages in their inbox and don’t reply to everyone. Cheers xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being honest - it’s hard to take but many a time it’s said to me.

Maybe view - To have fun on here it’s all about chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i had a guy hound me to meet him i kept telling him no he would throw a sulk then came back on tonight told me i was a time waster and what am i doing here if i not meeting i got annoyed with him and then he blocked me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is the best policy

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By *shoreMan
over a year ago

cork

I have sent my face to a good few and some have come saying.....sorry your not our type,that seems like a nice way of saying not interested,and im ok with it....its when i send a face photo and get blocked....thats annoying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d rather be ghosted personally... ignorance is bliss

This

I agree, I would rather I got an instant block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A face pic wouldn't influence me, I'm more interested in personality anyway. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attraction is a must.

I am brutally honest on my profile and when I exchange pics.

It's vain but there you go.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

This is a great thread. Go you OP

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By *inale.xMan
over a year ago

Portadown

I'd agree with the below statement. But no need to to be brutal about very much in life, I think.

"I accept if I’m not the type they’re looking for, it’s natural to judge a book by its cover.

I continue to chat because I’m interested in people "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally think you can be honest and tell someone they are not your type in a nice way.

There are some on fab with big egos...likewise some with lesser, more fragile egos.

Basically treat others as you would like to be treated.

And it is worth realising that looks alone do not maketh a person!

Sermon over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you have to be brutally honest? Or is been honest brutal? Is there a difference?

I think being honest is quite brutal as you are rejecting someone based purely off a few pictures. Maybe others have a better acceptance for rejection. "

It's not really rejection. That's something from a broken relationship. It's just a preference thing. So people shouldn't be offended by not been someone's cup of tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be polite but honest. What's the alternative - have sex with anyone who asks because you're afraid to be seen as "not nice"?

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By *angtasticallyMan
over a year ago

Drogheda

Just b honest are dont reply

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By *kcoupleCouple
over a year ago

.....

Be honest but not brutal. My fragile ego couldnt take a scathing rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you when you send someone your face pic, they tell you they like what they see...then proceed to never talk to you again yet are constantly online!?

You have to be thickskinned at times on a site like this, but I thought that was really weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brutal honesty might be a bit harsh. A gentle honest let down is better we think. No need to twist the knife but a block or no reply is a little harsh too

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By *sexybitchWoman
over a year ago

north dublin

Straight to the point not my type

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By *ensualandslow321Man
over a year ago

Tullamore

Honesty and some basic manners go a long way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I be honest. Also prefer people being honest with me. Everyone should be mature enough to accept your not everyones cup of tea. If i get rejected i tell them thanks & wish them well .

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

I'd definitely be honest. Not 'brutally' honest maybe. I'd try not to be too brutal. But I'd say if I'm not interested.

I'd certaintly respond though. I hate when you converse with a profile and it comes to a time to swap face pics and your face pic results in silence

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By *rs EmilyWoman
over a year ago

dublin

Agree honesty is the best policy, especially if the chat has led to face pics.

A simple sorry but I'm not really feeling it goes along way. We are all grown ups. If the reaction is negative the block button is always handy..

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By *arry and AnnCouple
over a year ago

Louth

One that gets me is; swap face pics here, all good.. swap kik, then radio silence..

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By *ractor manMan
over a year ago

dublin

I have had a few say sorry not my type so honestly just say it as it is

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By *Belfast_FellaMan
over a year ago

belfast

I think it's just good manners to reply and say 'look, you're not really my type, sorry.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do when chatting to someone, they send you face pics and you're not attracted to them? Don't reply, block them or are you brutally honest that you're not attracted? Would like to hear what other people do x "
tell them straight we all have different taste but honesty goes a long way , if they take offence theb block ! I would like to think most people would be ok with it

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By *asterIrelandMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

It still has to happen to me to receive a facepic and not to be attracted... I am probably lucky enough to get only beautiful pics...

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By *ony8054Man
over a year ago

Cork

I would say reply politely. Feel free to block if needs be but if you make yourself clear you shouldnt have to.

When someone doesn't reply, the fear is real. You would be thinking, does she know me outside of here?

Is it someone from work.

A simple, sorry your not my type usually puts that at ease

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nicely put sorry us so much less hurtful than just blocking someone, we are not for everyone so I fully understand when someone says thanks but no x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prefer honesty all day long..if someone isn’t attracted and tells me they’re not interested it’s end of for me..I’ll say thanks for the message and take care..because you may try write again thinking of she might not of seen it and then your becoming a nuisance..so always for me honesty..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You just have to be honest. That way they can forget about it and move on. I don't think people will be too disheartened if its done immediately. No harm no foul. It's still not a nice thing for either party but it shows you're a good person for having a conscience about it!

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By *atts n titsCouple
over a year ago

everywhere

"I’d rather be ghosted personally... ignorance is bliss

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Kinda don't get this. Now, firstly, I'd never usually send a face pic for quite a while, as you can imagine. By the time I would trust the person, I would have been chatting for a while, probably have been having a good laugh, gotten to the Friends stage on here, by which time you both know what the other 90% of their physical looks are and are still chatting.

At that point, when you exchange face pics, they are less relevant. You've found a connection, of sorts, are mentally syncing with them and probably getting a little of a sexual buzz.

Even if I didn't get "turned on" by their face, I'd still meet for a coffee, as we obviously have a bit of a click for each other.

Not saying I've never said no but, if I've got a bit of click with someone, their face matters that little bit less.

Or am I weird?

Ok, no need to answer that last one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kinda don't get this. Now, firstly, I'd never usually send a face pic for quite a while, as you can imagine. By the time I would trust the person, I would have been chatting for a while, probably have been having a good laugh, gotten to the Friends stage on here, by which time you both know what the other 90% of their physical looks are and are still chatting.

At that point, when you exchange face pics, they are less relevant. You've found a connection, of sorts, are mentally syncing with them and probably getting a little of a sexual buzz.

Even if I didn't get "turned on" by their face, I'd still meet for a coffee, as we obviously have a bit of a click for each other.

Not saying I've never said no but, if I've got a bit of click with someone, their face matters that little bit less.

Or am I weird?

Ok, no need to answer that last one

But what if she had no teeth,cleft palate,was extremely crossed eyed,the inside of nose had caved in like that actress from easterners,had a extra ear growing out of her forehead and toes where her ears should be

Would you still feel the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think being honest is the best way. Saves any confusion.

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

At that point, when you exchange face pics, they are less relevant. You've found a connection, of sorts, are mentally syncing with them and probably getting a little of a sexual buzz.

Even if I didn't get "turned on" by their face, I'd still meet for a coffee, as we obviously have a bit of a click for each other.

Not saying I've never said no but, if I've got a bit of click with someone, their face matters that little bit less.

Or am I weird?

Ok, no need to answer that last one

Would you still feel the same

Yeah, we all have limits, point taken

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By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

I think you should tell them straight up, don't leave them wondering

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By *r MeatyMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Personally its nice to receive I am not their type message or a block and delete then I don't end up wasting their time and mailing again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

be honest but not rude..."sorry you're not my type"

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

Face pics for me are needed early. No point in chatting for a considerable period to realise there is no physical attraction. Total waste of time

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

Type. Do you really have a type? I don't. I fancy many different types of women not just the one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you should tell them straight up, don't leave them wondering

I say no i dont want to meet i cant be bruatally honest some men sulk and abuse wen u turn them down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always best to be honest.. No point leading someone on whether ur male or female.. We,re all meant to be adults at the end of the day.. Each person has their own type.. Xx

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

"Always best to be honest.. No point leading someone on whether ur male or female.. We,re all meant to be adults at the end of the day.. Each person has their own type.. Xx"
I don't.

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By *oshua2659Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Wow.... Fit blonde is right! ??

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

If its someone I'd been chatting to for a while and that happened I'd like to think I'd let them down gently (and would hope to be treated the same way by others). If someone sends me an unasked for facepic after a couple of messages though I'd probably be more direct. Either way I'm not going to pity-shag anyone

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"One that gets me is; swap face pics here, all good.. swap kik, then radio silence..

That amuses me too.... They beg and pull out all the stops to get added on kik.. And then the conversation just dries up. My theory is that some view getting added on kik as an indication that they're definitely 'in there' and just panic because they realise they can't actually lick like Lassie/breathe through their ears/look anything like the face pic they sent you...

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I just say nice but not for me.

No need to elaborate or be rude.

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By *rishman444Man
over a year ago

letterkenny

Yes we r all the same in this big world we all have types and we get chatting swap face pictures I all ways send my picture first some don't even send one back your blocked lol but that's ok that's my answer lol if I get a picture back from the woman am chatting with and am not attracted to her I will tell her am sorry but your not my type and I wish u the best on fab thanks for the chat

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I was told my face was ugly on here. Got a wink, sent a message with face pic.

Got a reply back saying sorry but I was ugly.

Replied wishing them well in finding what they were looking for.

They replied saying they were sorry if it came across rude, its just they can find so many guys better looking than me easily.

I replied saying that was nice, it would make finding someone with a nice body that they found handsome easier.

Then they asked to add me on kik.

Long story short, I guess it depends on the person. I get called handsome all the time so if someone thinks I am ugly then oh well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find a lot of the women on here are a lot pickier than they should be (no harm in it, I’m the same so I can’t really talk).

You see photos of their partners and think, I’m slimmer, more tan, more muscular and bigger down below than him, surely she’s bound to have some attraction to me??

Now I know there’s more to connecting with people on fab that just liking the look of their pics but it’s incredibly hard as a single guy to make any sort of headway on here. I’m probably at the younger end of the membership on here but even with girls around my age they’re still pretty reluctant to engage.

Its my third time on fab and my gold membership ends today. I’ve maybe got talking to a handful of women in that time but met none. Compare that to tinder where I’ve met scores of women. I’m not sure I’ll come back

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

"I find a lot of the women on here are a lot pickier than they should be (no harm in it, I’m the same so I can’t really talk).

You see photos of their partners and think, I’m slimmer, more tan, more muscular and bigger down below than him, surely she’s bound to have some attraction to me??

"
that pretty much sums it up to a tee

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