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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's great and I love kink play with some of my meets here but I've come across a few people at parties and I've heard a few stories about people that are too heavy handed and don't know what they're actually doing.

Is this to do with 50 shades etc.. and is it being used as a cover for abusers?

Answers on a postcard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think with the right person it’s amazing, a lot of people on here and in general think they know how to dom but don’t have the conversations before hand about limits etc, which can make the play dangerous especially if the sub is gagged etc.

To some people it could be classed as abuse but to others it brings a whole other level of pleasure!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think with the right person it’s amazing, a lot of people on here and in general think they know how to dom but don’t have the conversations before hand about limits etc, which can make the play dangerous especially if the sub is gagged etc.

To some people it could be classed as abuse but to others it brings a whole other level of pleasure! "

Oh you know I love it too but there are some out there that just haven't a clue ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many wannabe doms on here it's madness as soon as you say you have a submissive side they start trying to "boss" you about... Eh how about f##k off!! I think the role of dom needs to be earned and not just something you think you can do to everyone.

I've had one bad experience with being spanked it wasn't spanking it was extremely painful and left me unable to sit for a week and a trip to the doc for the bruising. I have certainly learnt my lesson and will be alot more careful about who I share that side of me with again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really enjoy being the Dom, it has taken years of experience to hone my skills, i had a session there recently with my sub, which involved sensory deprivation, i Safely removed the batteries from the ladies hearing aid..

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

I adore BDSM and i love to be dominated by the right man ...this is the key it needs to be the right man. You dont allow just anyone to do this. Trust is huge. Would i allow just anyone to do this with me... not a hope. I Save this for men i know i can trust to be a true dom and a gentleman as well.

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By *ittlePinkUnicornWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Everyone has to start somewhere, but some people jump in head first, without learning skills or safety aspects first. Impact play for example, does he/she know which areas to avoid hitting? Does the sub know, to keep their body safe?

Of course there is unfortunately people out there who use BDSM as a mask for abuse, even before 50 shades. Best thing is for people to arm themselves with information, know to look out for red flags, to have safety calls in place, to discuss hard limits before any play starts, and be aware if the Dom crosses any of these. If he/she 'doesn't play with safewords', they can feck off

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I like to think that because the community is so close nit, others would warn people of someone or recommend others but I've seen some assholes abuse the position of being a Dom/Domme purely just to inflict pain and not the enjoyable type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to try it with a girl once but when I rang she said she was tied up

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By *ittlePinkUnicornWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"I like to think that because the community is so close nit, others would warn people of someone or recommend others but I've seen some assholes abuse the position of being a Dom/Domme purely just to inflict pain and not the enjoyable type"

Yeah, unfortunately you can't always depend on the moderators, meet and greets do go a way of filtering the bad weirdos, but they are only human, and make mistakes too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like to think that because the community is so close nit, others would warn people of someone or recommend others but I've seen some assholes abuse the position of being a Dom/Domme purely just to inflict pain and not the enjoyable type

Yeah, unfortunately you can't always depend on the moderators, meet and greets do go a way of filtering the bad weirdos, but they are only human, and make mistakes too. "

I find word of mouth to be good when choosing potential play mates but it's not always good but it helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a safe word is used and respected by the domme then BDSM fun can be amazing.

And its not all about inflicting pain. Some carefully selected chores can be equally as stimulating

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Once a safe word is used and respected by the domme then BDSM fun can be amazing.

And its not all about inflicting pain. Some carefully selected chores can be equally as stimulating

"

No menial labour is boring.... Honestly wouldn't get a kick out of getting someone to do the dishes.. to be fair I'd probably get a kick if I asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What most people don’t realize or misunderstand is that the person receiving the play is the one in control and if they don’t use their safe word the Dom/Domme is not going to know they’re being too heavy handed.

I personally have received guidance from a Domme on here so was lucky to have that and her show me the ropes so to speak.

But each person has their own limits and boundaries and if you aren’t voicing your issues or using your safe word ultimately the issue lies with them not the Dom/Domme

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I always wanted to try out my darkside. But kinda half given up . Far to many messers out their .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to try bdsm out but I have yet to meet someone I trust enough to go ahead with it. It's not something I would ever consider with someone I don't know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would love to try bdsm out but I have yet to meet someone I trust enough to go ahead with it. It's not something I would ever consider with someone I don't know "

You're exactly right. Trust is a huge part. You're opening all vulnerability to someone. You have to be able know that person will stop when you give the code word.

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By *he Vanilla ClubCouple
over a year ago

DUBLIN

I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx

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By *oodbuddy 51Man
over a year ago

Puerto Rico, Gran Canaria

I have had good pleasurable fun times with a dom because at the start we set limits for play and safe word, gestures to be used.

But one has just got to see some of the pics that are posted showing the beatings that some have received from so called dom's, I would say sadistic abusers but then each to their own.

Just beware who you set out to play with and then enjoy yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx "

I think you're talking about the difference between a Dom and a top, aren't you? Someone who cracks the whip and restrain someone can just as easily take a bottom position. A Dom's role is much more than someone who acts the part. They expect total obedience from their sub.

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By *he Vanilla ClubCouple
over a year ago

DUBLIN


"I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx

I think you're talking about the difference between a Dom and a top, aren't you? Someone who cracks the whip and restrain someone can just as easily take a bottom position. A Dom's role is much more than someone who acts the part. They expect total obedience from their sub."

No thats what i am saying. People get called doms now just because the like to spank or whip and thats not at all what its about

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx


"I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx

I think you're talking about the difference between a Dom and a top, aren't you? Someone who cracks the whip and restrain someone can just as easily take a bottom position. A Dom's role is much more than someone who acts the part. They expect total obedience from their sub."

Yes they do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to try out my darkside. But kinda half given up . Far to many messers out their . "

I really find the fact you call it dark side .. disturbing and slightly ominously

There's nothing bad, negative or shameful about BDSM

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By *otwife Stag CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Waterford


"Everyone has to start somewhere, but some people jump in head first, without learning skills or safety aspects first. Impact play for example, does he/she know which areas to avoid hitting? Does the sub know, to keep their body safe?

Of course there is unfortunately people out there who use BDSM as a mask for abuse, even before 50 shades. Best thing is for people to arm themselves with information, know to look out for red flags, to have safety calls in place, to discuss hard limits before any play starts, and be aware if the Dom crosses any of these. If he/she 'doesn't play with safewords', they can feck off "

Very well worded

S x

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By *otwife Stag CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Waterford


"I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx "

S x

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By *witchcarlosccsMan
over a year ago

dublin

I want to try the bdsm, everything they have written is true, I have read many abuses, that's why I still do not dare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx

I think you're talking about the difference between a Dom and a top, aren't you? Someone who cracks the whip and restrain someone can just as easily take a bottom position. A Dom's role is much more than someone who acts the part. They expect total obedience from their sub.

No thats what i am saying. People get called doms now just because the like to spank or whip and thats not at all what its about "

I spent a Very pleasurable 2 to 3 years as a Submissive to a Dominant Person.

It was a gradual process of building Trust between Both parties.

As Trust was built we explored.

The more We explored together the further I was developed into a Submissive who took pleasure in serving for Our Mutual Pleasure.

It was built on Respect and Consent and Safe Words were a means to a Very Satisfactory End.

AHhhh Memories.....

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By *ts artMan
over a year ago

Londonderry


"I find the word "dom" is thrown around far too loosely. Just because u put a whip or a flogger in someones hand it doesnt make them a dom.

Its like everything u need to start small and work out what pleases you and what your bounderies are and discuss with play partner. People tend to jump at the deep end and start with serious stuff as thats what they have seen but the whole point is building up a tolerance whilst enjoying the experience. Safe words are used to control the situation. It is certainly not a sign of weakeness to use them.

In BDSM there is a huge level of trust involved so i would recommend only engaging with someone you know and are comfortable with or someone that you know is experienced and well verified in that area of play xxx "

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