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Why women go for dickheads/assholes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am asking why women stay with men who meat them up cheat on them and leave them crying alone and nice lads like me that are honest get fucked over and then on here all I see is a complete game

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I didn't stay.... well I actually did. But kicked him out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn't stay.... well I actually did. But kicked him out. "

Same as

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"I didn't stay.... well I actually did. But kicked him out.

Same as "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I didn't stay.... well I actually did. But kicked him out. "
it's good that you did but the amount of female friends I have had with shithead boyfriends is really starting to get me down on relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol once your not the shithead you shouldn’t worry

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By *gentleman44Man
over a year ago

dublin


"Lol once your not the shithead you shouldn’t worry "

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"I didn't stay.... well I actually did. But kicked him out. it's good that you did but the amount of female friends I have had with shithead boyfriends is really starting to get me down on relationships"

There are lady dickheads too.Just sayin

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Because guys who treat girls bad are good at aftercare. You only see the bruise and you think "what a stupid bitch".

But he hit her about and then he tells her that he is sorry that he did it cause he loves her so much, he hugs her and kisses her, he tells her that its not really him.

She believes him, she thinks this caring guy is the real him, that the guy that beats her and is shit to her is like an alter ego, that he loves her.

All these girls end up broken, they go looking for rough sex with cuddles after, cause they have told themselves over and over in their heads that it means love. A lot of the girls into bdsm were abused.

Nice guys dont rush a girl, they dont pressure her for sex, they dont give as good aftercare after a bit of rough stuff, they are slow to develop a relationship, they dont get jealous, they dont act insecure.

In week 3 of talking to a girl and starting to think something might be developing a nice guy will suddenly be told by the girl that someone she is going to try a relationship with another guy she met a week ago. This other guy is usually quick to act, fills her head with lies, and its sheer luck if he is a nice guy, she cant have found out in a week or so if he is.

So bad guys go from relationship to relationship no problem at all, and nice guys struggle to even get one relationship.

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By *ammerandthongsCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Some stay because they simply feel they have nothing else until something finally breaks the camels back. Some stay because they choose to believe their partner is loving & caring. Personally if someone fucked around on me I'd gather everything I needed before making my exit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol once your not the shithead you shouldn’t worry "
Yeah I am the lad helping her out and then seeing the same shit gets a bit annoying but people need to make their own decisions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol once your not the shithead you shouldn’t worry Yeah I am the lad helping her out and then seeing the same shit gets a bit annoying but people need to make their own decisions"

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some stay because they simply feel they have nothing else until something finally breaks the camels back. Some stay because they choose to believe their partner is loving & caring. Personally if someone fucked around on me I'd gather everything I needed before making my exit."
That's a great attitude once you let it happen once it will happen again

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Lol once your not the shithead you shouldn’t worry Yeah I am the lad helping her out and then seeing the same shit gets a bit annoying but people need to make their own decisions"

If someone is told something day after day hour after hour they start to believe it. .if a nice guy comes along and tells them something positive things they will change. Stick with it and always be that nice guys . They don't always finish last.

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area

Fear. Simple as that.

Fear of change, fear of what he will do to her.

Money is also a huge factor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tend to end up with the relationship you think you are worth.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city


"If someone is told something day after day hour after hour they start to believe it. .if a nice guy comes along and tells them something positive things they will change. Stick with it and always be that nice guys . They don't always finish last. "

Nope, if a nice guy comes along and tells them something nice, 99% chance the nice guy will be called a liar.

When they are ready to accept positive messages they will accept them, nothing any guy can do about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew a girl that was going out with a guy that cheated on her the entire relationship and she knew. She broke up with him after awhile and had a few more relationships but cheated on all her new partners...... With that guy. She'd text me excitedly telling me they're going to go on a date and he has changed and she'd send me pics of her make up done and her clothes etc.. And he'd stand her up and not text or talk to her for a week or so and she tells me she's done and they'll never talk again. A few weeks later she's sleeping with him again. He never hit her but treats her like shit. I got bored of advising her on what to do cause she'll always go back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fear. Simple as that.

Fear of change, fear of what he will do to her.

Money is also a huge factor."
that is a great sum of why people stay in abusive relationships I was not a strong enough man years ago to help and plus I doubt she would of wanted it I would like to add this couple started in the dominics homelawns area if you know where I am talking about pride is also a big reason women don't ask for help

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"If someone is told something day after day hour after hour they start to believe it. .if a nice guy comes along and tells them something positive things they will change. Stick with it and always be that nice guys . They don't always finish last.

Nope, if a nice guy comes along and tells them something nice, 99% chance the nice guy will be called a liar.

When they are ready to accept positive messages they will accept them, nothing any guy can do about it."

That's why the nice guy has to change the way she's been brain washed into thinking. If the guy thinks she's worth it then she is. Time can change people. People can change people . For good not always for bad.

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By *lippery-when-wet-180Woman
over a year ago

South Dub

Can I point out it’s not just women who do this I know a hell of a lot of men who stick a woman who is a weapon. It’s life people are attracted to who they are and that’s it. No amount of anyone telling them what is best will do until they hit that low level themselves and open their eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I knew a girl that was going out with a guy that cheated on her the entire relationship and she knew. She broke up with him after awhile and had a few more relationships but cheated on all her new partners...... With that guy. She'd text me excitedly telling me they're going to go on a date and he has changed and she'd send me pics of her make up done and her clothes etc.. And he'd stand her up and not text or talk to her for a week or so and she tells me she's done and they'll never talk again. A few weeks later she's sleeping with him again. He never hit her but treats her like shit. I got bored of advising her on what to do cause she'll always go back. "
I see the exact same thing and it is all to do with self worth and confidence you can only realize yourself how much of a idiot you're being and hopefully some day she realizes she is better than that asshole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They think for some reason that they can change the bad boy is what I think . Which is kinda interesting because think most guys prefer the nice good girl

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I point out it’s not just women who do this I know a hell of a lot of men who stick a woman who is a weapon. It’s life people are attracted to who they are and that’s it. No amount of anyone telling them what is best will do until they hit that low level themselves and open their eyes"
I agree with you I am the same way but got smarter as I got older I just hate to see women being used and mistreated their are lots of men who are morons for women

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They think for some reason that they can change the bad boy is what I think . Which is kinda interesting because think most guys prefer the nice good girl "
I know and they can't I know a young woman who I liked as a friend from tallaght in foster care great very nice gets pregnant by a asshole friend I liked at the time gets in a relationship beats the head off her she should of left but didn't now hope she is ok lovely young woman

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By *ohnandGemCouple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin

Being "nice" doesn't entitle you to anything. not sex, not a relationship. nothing.

The friendzone is a lie, made up by "nice" guys who moan about women not wanting to sleep with them.

There is no magic way to make women like you.

Generally, women like these "bastards" because they're more interesting than the "nice" guy who devotes all his time trying to figure out a way to get the girl. The "bastard" doesn't do this, he's off having a life, enjoying hobbies, and just happens to pull all the time.

Solution: be more interesting. In turn it will make you more attractive, not physically....but you will appear more interesting.

Focus on making yourself a better you, and the result will be that you'll attract more people, and then you'll find the right one.

How do I know this? Cos I used to be one of those "nice" guys, but I copped myself on.

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area

Many years ago I worked security in a bar/club. One evening I happened upon a guy with his (I assume girlfriend) by the throat up against a wall in a quiet part of the club right in her face screaming at her with his fist raised. She looked terrified and was in hysterics.

Unfortunately I lost my temper, smacked him, threw him to the ground and grabbed him by the throat, screaming a few expletives at him. Next thing a knew the girlfriend started flailing into me..!! She kept at it until we got them both thrown out. To this day I will never understand this power that some guys have over girls

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know you are a great man I am still on my way out of it it is a lie and and frankly I just got sick of being used and only came here for a bit of craic in my spare time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Many years ago I worked security in a bar/club. One evening I happened upon a guy with his (I assume girlfriend) by the throat up against a wall in a quiet part of the club right in her face screaming at her with his fist raised. She looked terrified and was in hysterics.

Unfortunately I lost my temper, smacked him, threw him to the ground and grabbed him by the throat, screaming a few expletives at him. Next thing a knew the girlfriend started flailing into me..!! She kept at it until we got them both thrown out. To this day I will never understand this power that some guys have over girls "
I agree with you I am the same way but got smarter as I got older I just hate to see women being used and mistreated their are lots of men who are morons for women

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By *ohnandGemCouple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin


"I know you are a great man I am still on my way out of it it is a lie and and frankly I just got sick of being used and only came here for a bit of craic in my spare time "

I'm not trying to be a great man, just a decent human being.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many years ago I worked security in a bar/club. One evening I happened upon a guy with his (I assume girlfriend) by the throat up against a wall in a quiet part of the club right in her face screaming at her with his fist raised. She looked terrified and was in hysterics.

Unfortunately I lost my temper, smacked him, threw him to the ground and grabbed him by the throat, screaming a few expletives at him. Next thing a knew the girlfriend started flailing into me..!! She kept at it until we got them both thrown out. To this day I will never understand this power that some guys have over girls "

Not the first I've heard this happen to, know someone who working security at the time happened upon a similar situation and turfed the bf outside to have the gf hit him with her shoes and throw a bottle at him

People are crazy

L

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Many years ago I worked security in a bar/club. One evening I happened upon a guy with his (I assume girlfriend) by the throat up against a wall in a quiet part of the club right in her face screaming at her with his fist raised. She looked terrified and was in hysterics.

Unfortunately I lost my temper, smacked him, threw him to the ground and grabbed him by the throat, screaming a few expletives at him. Next thing a knew the girlfriend started flailing into me..!! She kept at it until we got them both thrown out. To this day I will never understand this power that some guys have over girls I agree with you I am the same way but got smarter as I got older I just hate to see women being used and mistreated their are lots of men who are morons for women"
I see a lad grabbing a woman by the neck ever day I am around temple bar in Dublin the men are usually cowards and the women are just not smart enough in life yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know you are a great man I am still on my way out of it it is a lie and and frankly I just got sick of being used and only came here for a bit of craic in my spare time

I'm not trying to be a great man, just a decent human being. "
I am decent regarding women it gets me nowhere some I just try to help who I can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fear. Simple as that.

Fear of change, fear of what he will do to her.

Money is also a huge factor."

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By *ohnandGemCouple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin


"I know you are a great man I am still on my way out of it it is a lie and and frankly I just got sick of being used and only came here for a bit of craic in my spare time

I'm not trying to be a great man, just a decent human being. I am decent regarding women it gets me nowhere some I just try to help who I can't"

Why not be decent to everyone, not just women?

Are you decent to women in the hopes you'll get something out of it? Cos that's not how it works.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know you are a great man I am still on my way out of it it is a lie and and frankly I just got sick of being used and only came here for a bit of craic in my spare time

I'm not trying to be a great man, just a decent human being. I am decent regarding women it gets me nowhere some I just try to help who I can't

Why not be decent to everyone, not just women?

Are you decent to women in the hopes you'll get something out of it? Cos that's not how it works. "
no I have much better relationships with men and I just don't like seeing women or men abused I like being nice just got sick of friends male and female leaving nothing to do with sex I have done my share of turning women down when they wanted sex then the rumors start I am more comfortable in talking normally to anybody then talking with a agenda I just got sick of seeing it again and again not cause I wanted sex because I had a conscious

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By *traycats2Couple
over a year ago

Dublin


"Because guys who treat girls bad are good at aftercare. You only see the bruise and you think "what a stupid bitch".

But he hit her about and then he tells her that he is sorry that he did it cause he loves her so much, he hugs her and kisses her, he tells her that its not really him.

She believes him, she thinks this caring guy is the real him, that the guy that beats her and is shit to her is like an alter ego, that he loves her.

All these girls end up broken, they go looking for rough sex with cuddles after, cause they have told themselves over and over in their heads that it means love. A lot of the girls into bdsm were abused.

Nice guys dont rush a girl, they dont pressure her for sex, they dont give as good aftercare after a bit of rough stuff, they are slow to develop a relationship, they dont get jealous, they dont act insecure.

In week 3 of talking to a girl and starting to think something might be developing a nice guy will suddenly be told by the girl that someone she is going to try a relationship with another guy she met a week ago. This other guy is usually quick to act, fills her head with lies, and its sheer luck if he is a nice guy, she cant have found out in a week or so if he is.

So bad guys go from relationship to relationship no problem at all, and nice guys struggle to even get one relationship."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bleedin spot on dude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it's a primal caveman thing. Girls want the brutes who will defend against animal attacks. Nice guys are not as good at that.

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It's basically a vicious cycle that plenty of women get caught in (not all but plenty).

Basically a woman dates a guy who at first seems to be interesting but turns out to be an asshole. She thinks that if she us understanding enough or loves him enough then she can be the one to change him and help him. But of course when he doesn't change they end up separating.

She then complains that she can't find a nice guy who will treat her right. Then along comes a nice guy who treats her well. At first she likes it but then one of two things happen. She either thinks the guy is too good to be true and keeps her wall up or pulls away from him. Either that or after a while she thinks the nice guy isn't enough of a challenge or he is too boring and predictable so in the end she tells him she just wants to be friends and then either goes back to her ex thinking he has changed and of course is shocked to discover he hasn't. Either that or she starts dating another asshole and so the cycle just repeats itself over and over.

As someone else already mentioned on this thread, simply being nice is not enough and does not entitle a person to anything. You have to be interesting.

I used to be one of those nice guys and got treated like a doormat. If you let a person away with shabby behaviour then they will keep doing it. It doesn't mean try to act like a bad boy or treat a woman like shit. You can be nice to a woman but also firm in terms of knowing your worth and refusing to be treated shabbily. Any decent woman will respect you more for it. Any woman that doesn't or who discards you because you won't keep bowing to her demands is not worth knowing anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair you can be nice guy and get a women might not be the women ya wanted to get with but if there into childish boys then leave them to it

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By *oupleuncutCouple
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

Because the only man a woman can trust is her dad, he sets the standard

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown


"I am asking why women stay with men who meat them up cheat on them and leave them crying alone and nice lads like me that are honest get fucked over and then on here all I see is a complete game"

--------------------

I think some women are attracted to the cocky alpha-male qualities of some men initially only to realise that these "men" are not men at all, but boys who never really grew up

Op, instead of being a "nice lad"...

just be a "good guy who doesn't take shit"

Much more fun that way ...

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"I am asking why women stay with men who meat them up cheat on them and leave them crying alone and nice lads like me that are honest get fucked over and then on here all I see is a complete game"

Keep doing what you are doing.

Be there for them when you can, offer advice repeatedly but if they get to strike 5, cut ties. Tell them that you have done what you can but they don't seem to get it and you need to move forward with your life.

This has often been a realisation marker for some people.

Then get busy living your own life, being nice and being honest, regardless of how bad what you do is, keep honest.

Believe me, there are women who appreciate that above a lot else.

Be true to yourself and you never have to look back worryingly over your shoulder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am asking why women stay with men who meat them up cheat on them and leave them crying alone and nice lads like me that are honest get fucked over and then on here all I see is a complete game

--------------------

I think some women are attracted to the cocky alpha-male qualities of some men initially only to realise that these "men" are not men at all, but boys who never really grew up

Op, instead of being a "nice lad"...

just be a "good guy who doesn't take shit"

Much more fun that way ..."

With Tim 100% here... might I just add something I’m almost sure I read in a meme...? Women want a man who will hold the door open from them.. and who’ll fuck her up against it when it’s closed... . Pithy but adequate...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am asking why women stay with men who meat them up cheat on them and leave them crying alone and nice lads like me that are honest get fucked over and then on here all I see is a complete game"

Some women just attract them!!! Me being one of them that's why I refuse to have a relationship anymore plus it's more fun that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/18 07:21:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wore that t-shirt many many years ago now. From violent father to boyfriend. It starts really slow, slap across the face, very sorry love you etc. all fine then 6 months later again, then 3 months and then slowly builds up to weekly/daily until one day you run for your life because he tries to stab you. And yes you still might go back because it’s all you have. Your confidence, self worth, friends are all gone. Your broken after years of been told how useless you are.

But lucky me. I didn’t go back and met a wonderful man who I’m married to for 31 years this month. But your on here I hear you say “cheating on him” and yes I am but with his blessing because he has zero interest in sex but still even after all these years just wants me to be happy.

Now that is what I call a Real man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Because the only man a woman can trust is her dad, he sets the standard"
That's funny you wrote that because a lot of the women I was referring to don't have a father in their childhood and their mother wasn't great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This I can't understand ladies say that they can tell the kind of man you are by what he says on forums or over a coffee.But yet can be dating a guy for months and have no idea what he's like.Maybe some guys are very good at lying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This I can't understand ladies say that they can tell the kind of man you are by what he says on forums or over a coffee.But yet can be dating a guy for months and have no idea what he's like.Maybe some guys are very good at lying. "
I can't speak for women but I know guy's plenty of them who could lie without blinking I could always tell the liars from the ones that always tell the truth because most of the time friends tell you the truth and great sexual relationships have to be based off friendship also you can't tell who a person is from a forum or coffee it takes months or years to get to know a person first impressions matter but they are not a great indicator of who a person is really

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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago

South Dublin Area


"Wore that t-shirt many many years ago now. From violent father to boyfriend. It starts really slow, slap across the face, very sorry love you etc. all fine then 6 months later again, then 3 months and then slowly builds up to weekly/daily until one day you run for your life because he tries to stab you. And yes you still might go back because it’s all you have. Your confidence, self worth, friends are all gone. Your broken after years of been told how useless you are.

But lucky me. I didn’t go back and met a wonderful man who I’m married to for 31 years this month. But your on here I hear you say “cheating on him” and yes I am but with his blessing because he has zero interest in sex but still even after all these years just wants me to be happy.

Now that is what I call a Real man.

"
Thats a wonderful story. You are so brave.. oh and you aint cheating, if he knows you are here.

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