FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes....

By *rDarcy37 OP Man
over a year ago

lucan

David Beckham gets into a taxi at Dublin airport, and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror, after about 5 minutes, the driver says, ok give me a clue. Becks says, I had a glittering career at Man U, played in America and also got over 100 caps for England, is that enough ? Driver says 'No you thick bollix - where are you going?

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By *un4tooCouple
over a year ago

north cork

So im out one night in the club. Spot this stunning milf, must be 55/60 that way. Im eyeing her up, she eyeing me up and we eventually start chatting and had a drink. Shes grinding up against me and one thing is leading to another. She whispers in my ear "ever have a 3sum with a mother and daughter?". No? I replied in pure excitement "wanna come back to mine?" And pulls me into a taxi. Hands every where, all over each other.

A mother and daughter 3sum. A dream. Flings open her front door and shouts up the stairs, maaaaammmm.

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By *rDarcy37 OP Man
over a year ago

lucan

"So im out one night in the club. Spot this stunning milf, must be 55/60 that way. Im eyeing her up, she eyeing me up and we eventually start chatting and had a drink. Shes grinding up against me and one thing is leading to another. She whispers in my ear "ever have a 3sum with a mother and daughter?". No? I replied in pure excitement "wanna come back to mine?" And pulls me into a taxi. Hands every where, all over each other.

A mother and daughter 3sum. A dream. Flings open her front door and shouts up the stairs, maaaaammmm.

Lol love it ??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball...not alot just mostly gagging noises

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/18 00:03:27]

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By *rDarcy37 OP Man
over a year ago

lucan

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball...not alot just mostly gagging noises

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wife says to her husband do you know a bull fucks over 3,000 times a year why can't you do that

Husband replies ask the bull if he is fucking the same miserable cow every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can now successfully transplant pigs ears on a human however, you do get a bit of crackling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest. The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation...... And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

[Removed by poster at 07/09/18 22:31:39]

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

What does an old horny toad say to his wife?

Rubbit

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between God and Bono?

God doesn't strut around Dublin pretending to be Bono....

I'll get me coat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess.""

Lol

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

What did the 2 old frogs take the bus?

Because their car got toad

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By *ka ..Agent k ..Man
over a year ago

What did the 2 old frogs take the bus?

Because their car got toad

Aw jasus, were near the bottom of the barrel here

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

What did the 2 old frogs take the bus?

Because their car got toad

Aw jasus, were near the bottom of the barrel here

----------------

Okay, okay...

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because at 69, she gets a frog in her throat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a cowboy with shit all over his mustache.

Looking for love in all the wrong places

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

How do we know toads have more lives than cats?

Because they croak every night!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats green and tastes like rashers? Kermits fingers... lol sorry....

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Whats green and tastes like rashers? Kermits fingers... lol sorry...."

-----------------

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Whats green and tastes like rashers? Kermits fingers... lol sorry...."

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Why are frogs so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats green and tastes like rashers? Kermits fingers... lol sorry....

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Why are frogs so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs them

Hahaha..

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Whats green and tastes like rashers? Kermits fingers... lol sorry....

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Why are frogs so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs them

Hahaha.. "

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What did one frog say to the other?

Time's sure fun when you're having flies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman wakes up after Having A vaginal tuck procedure.

On her dresser there was 3 bunches of flowers. One was from her husband telling her he loved her and to get well soon. The second was from the surgeon telling all went well and again, to get well soon. The third was from a guy called Tommy thanking her for her new ears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb.

You can unscrew a lightbulb

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