FabSwingers.com forum: Would you?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you date someone that doesn't look after themselves? I'm not talking about weight here just unhealthy lifestyle. Like they eat once or maybe twice a day, smoke, drink tonnes of coffee and tea( both with sugar) and sodas. They say ewe to fruit and veg and douse every meal with thick sauces. Don't exercise and regularly goes to bed without brushing the teeth?

If you would how would you approach the issue of them having to take better care of themselves? Sounds stupid but this is a real question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't, people with no self-respect aren't attractive to me, and its not my place or responsibility to change them,only they can decide to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you date someone that doesn't look after themselves? I'm not talking about weight here just unhealthy lifestyle. Like they eat once or maybe twice a day, smoke, drink tonnes of coffee and tea( both with sugar) and sodas. They say ewe to fruit and veg and douse every meal with thick sauces. Don't exercise and regularly goes to bed without brushing the teeth?

If you would how would you approach the issue of them having to take better care of themselves? Sounds stupid but this is a real question. "

It kind of depends.. I wouldnt be attracted to someone who has such a bad lifestyle to begin with, however of its only a recent development I think there os obviously a reason for it.. still wouldnt get involved dating wise but if I know them Id probably start enquiring about their mental health

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, how can someone care about anyone else if they dont care about themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The not brushing teeth bit would be the most off-putting thing did me tbh. I often only eat twice a day or once. People have different eating habits. But oral hygiene is an indicator of other hygiene habits I think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I agree with all the no answers but would anyone have any advice on what to do if you're already well into the dating phase? Alot of Irish people have absolutely no idea how to take care of themselves and I'm talking about adults.

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"I agree with all the no answers but would anyone have any advice on what to do if you're already well into the dating phase? Alot of Irish people have absolutely no idea how to take care of themselves and I'm talking about adults. "

I think you'd have to be straight with them about the oral hygiene and not only the benefits of good oral hygiene but also about how it makes you feel..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly? Break up. If they are acting the same way they did before you started dating then why should they change their behaviour for you. Even if I wouldnt agree with how they live it is their life

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

What are u afraid of here that ull fall into their habits or that relationships are hard work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Be concerned about their health in the long run and compatibility for the future.

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

"What are u afraid of here that ull fall into their habits or that relationships are hard work "

It's a health and hygiene issue. If you sign up for the long haul with someone you would hope that they are still around in ten years.

Op I drink coffee, smoke and only eat twice a day mostly but am fairly healthy.

Is this behaviour new? If so what's causing it. Is it an indicator of an underlying mental health issue. Do you think it's just lack of care in general. Either way it requires a conversation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What are u afraid of here that ull fall into their habits or that relationships are hard work

It's a health and hygiene issue. If you sign up for the long haul with someone you would hope that they are still around in ten years.

Op I drink coffee, smoke and only eat twice a day mostly but am fairly healthy.

Is this behaviour new? If so what's causing it. Is it an indicator of an underlying mental health issue. Do you think it's just lack of care in general. Either way it requires a conversation

Na I don't think it's new behaviour. We don't live a decent journey away from each other and only know each other since the turn of the year. It's just more that I'm noticing it now and have tested her out with some questions about health and found she doesn't really seem bothered. Her weight is grand and I wouldn't necessarily say bigger equals more health problems but years of junk and nothing really productive health wise will hit her with problems even if she's not very big etc..

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

[Removed by poster at 15/04/18 20:14:49]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry I meant we live a good journey away from each other. 80km +

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

"What are u afraid of here that ull fall into their habits or that relationships are hard work

It's a health and hygiene issue. If you sign up for the long haul with someone you would hope that they are still around in ten years.

Op I drink coffee, smoke and only eat twice a day mostly but am fairly healthy.

Is this behaviour new? If so what's causing it. Is it an indicator of an underlying mental health issue. Do you think it's just lack of care in general. Either way it requires a conversation

The hygiene I get but there's no one map that fits all I eat irregular up to six months ago I was 50 smokes a day Coffee at every opportunity and up to 15 hrs a day six days a week with a rest on Sunday only done eight to ten hrs. At 53 I am reasonably fit not to overweight and have my vitals checked regularly so I don't get the concern for this person if they are in good health and performing their normal daily duties in a sane manner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like your more concerned with her turning into a whale in ten years than her being gummy or having false teeth and IBS etc. she must be a stunner with a great personality I’m sure you’ll live happily ever after OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seems like your more concerned with her turning into a whale in ten years than her being gummy or having false teeth and IBS etc. she must be a stunner with a great personality I’m sure you’ll live happily ever after OP"

Na, weight doesn't bother me, overall health does. You don't have to be overweight for diabetes or iron deficiencies and can end up with shit skin and hair etc... Now I sound like it's all appearances to me haha its not though.

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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago

otherside of nowhere

Sounds to me your just noticing here less endearing qualities now that the honeymoon period is over..

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By *rossflow daveMan
over a year ago

Mullingar

If that's the way this person chooses to live their life then so be it , if it's a recent thing there may be an underlying issue but other than that it's just how they are !

I don't think that you can make someone change to suit your ideals without causing resentment.

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Sometimes on fab i really do wonder..

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I'd love to know how do you learn about it before you actually meet a person. We all have bad habits unless you're a saint or an absolute bore.

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