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Struggling with sexuality

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In the last year I have realized I’m bisexual or am I. I first was with a man as a curiosity and enjoyed it so much I have been with other man. So I know it wasn’t just a fad. I still don’t see myself as bisexual. I love women but a certain kind of man makes me equally aroused. I don’t want to tell anyone I know but want to tell everyone I know about how tough I find all this. I don’t want to tell family. And I don’t even want to tell myself what I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not admitting to yourself is your first task..be truthful to yoyrself. Truth will set you free etc etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Easier said than done. I am almost there.

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By *hloe sussexTV/TS
over a year ago

Larne


"Not admitting to yourself is your first task..be truthful to yoyrself. Truth will set you free etc etc"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest with yourself firstly.If you are genuinely bi sexual then so be it. Its not like the stoneage these days. I am sure your family and friends will think no less of you for coming out as such.If they do , then they were never your true friends.Best of luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may not find a label that fully describes who you are. Don't feel under pressure to define your sexuality precisely. You'll probably find your likes and dislikes are quite fluid and change with time and experience anyway. Good luck with it and enjoy being yourself.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"Easier said than done. I am almost there. "

Yes you are... Saying it here was a big step well done

As for defining yourself as bisexual... you're not alone in wondering if it really is the right definition for what you are... I rarely find women sexually attractive... but once in a very blue moon a sexy, intelligent woman will make me go wow and want to snog the face (and other things) off them.... so for want of a better term I chose bi-curious for my sexuality.

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

I came out as bisexual to my family and some friends on NYE..

I struggled with it for years and was so afraid to tell anyone as I feared their reaction. It took the courage of my 15 year old godson who came out as gay last year for me to realise that if he can do it then why can't I.... i understand your struggle but trust me nothing has changed for how they treat me...

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary


"I came out as bisexual to my family and some friends on NYE..

I struggled with it for years and was so afraid to tell anyone as I feared their reaction. It took the courage of my 15 year old godson who came out as gay last year for me to realise that if he can do it then why can't I.... i understand your struggle but trust me nothing has changed for how they treat me... "
I know a lad last year came out as gay and his father told him fine but no lads will be in your bedroom under my roof. Some except but don't like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I came out as bisexual to my family and some friends on NYE..

I struggled with it for years and was so afraid to tell anyone as I feared their reaction. It took the courage of my 15 year old godson who came out as gay last year for me to realise that if he can do it then why can't I.... i understand your struggle but trust me nothing has changed for how they treat me... I know a lad last year came out as gay and his father told him fine but no lads will be in your bedroom under my roof. Some except but don't like it. "

Most parents when their children become adults find it very difficult to accept they'll be having sex under your roof let alone with someone of the same sex

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"I came out as bisexual to my family and some friends on NYE..

I struggled with it for years and was so afraid to tell anyone as I feared their reaction. It took the courage of my 15 year old godson who came out as gay last year for me to realise that if he can do it then why can't I.... i understand your struggle but trust me nothing has changed for how they treat me... I know a lad last year came out as gay and his father told him fine but no lads will be in your bedroom under my roof. Some except but don't like it. "

I haven't told my father as I know how he would react... but that's fine with me I respect his views..

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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago

otherside of nowhere

I don't see any reason to tell anyone..people who are heterosexual don't see the need to tell anyone...hopefull the day will come when no one feels the need to come out as anything....you know what you are which is hopefully a decent human being that's all that should matter to any decent person...Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/02/18 19:09:24]

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare


"I don't see any reason to tell anyone..people who are heterosexual don't see the need to tell anyone...hopefull the day will come when no one feels the need to come out as anything....you know what you are which is hopefully a decent human being that's all that should matter to any decent person...Mrs "
hetro ppl can wear their hearts on their sleeves at a young age and no one cares

My son came out as bi and his mum said more or less what you said. Why tell anyone.

Why wouldn't he tell everyone was both his and my response

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

The diff is it's the norm to be heterosexual. A man and a woman in a relationship. I know people who don't agree with gays and that's there prerogative, totally entitled to their view, same with 2 men or 2 women having a child. Totally respect their decision to that also

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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago

otherside of nowhere

I totally respect everyone's sexual prefeance...i just hate if people struggle with this and tell people because it's expected of them because other ppl need to put labels on everyone...but your child is lucky Hal to have parents they are able to talk openly to...

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By *eauhoMan
over a year ago

City Centre

There are a hell of a lot of men on here who have themselves listed as straight on here but enjoy an odd bit of man on man fun, so dont think you're that rare a breed.

Whenever Ive asked a guy who's messaged me why they dont put bi on their peofile they tell me its because they are mainy into women, and the guy stuff is just an occasional thing, no big deal.

It kind of sounds like you are fitting into that bracket, as for struggling, what part exactly? Is it because you feel you should, or have genuine feelings of guilt/confusion?

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

First of all be honest with yourself. Do you feel that people or family members would disapprove? You are what you are.

Be proud of your choice but don't deny yourself. You have been with another man your differently bi, It's your decision who you tell or not tell but don't battle with yourself.

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By *woforone2025Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Dublin


"I don't see any reason to tell anyone..people who are heterosexual don't see the need to tell anyone...hopefull the day will come when no one feels the need to come out as anything....you know what you are which is hopefully a decent human being that's all that should matter to any decent person...Mrs "

fully agree with this post. Just accept yourself it really is no one else's business and you certainly don't need to write your sexuality on your forehead for the world to see. If you find yourself in a relationship with a guy you may need to give it further thought but until then I'd only tell people on a very limited need to know basis. That's how I've dealt with it...and have no regrets.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Really like all the answers. But especially this one. Makes total sense to me. Say nothing till you know more kinda thing.

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By *r_mrs_studmuffinCouple
over a year ago

narnia


"I came out as bisexual to my family and some friends on NYE..

I struggled with it for years and was so afraid to tell anyone as I feared their reaction. It took the courage of my 15 year old godson who came out as gay last year for me to realise that if he can do it then why can't I.... i understand your struggle but trust me nothing has changed for how they treat me... "
well done lovely lady

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

Op own your sexuality as what you enjoy with or without labels. Labels here on site are for clarity but as is repeatedly discussed, that's not the case.

You are not defined by your sexuality but if you try to live your life denying it, that will define you. Be open and honest with yourself as said above and from there you will find your answers. You do not need the justification nor judgement of others to truly appreciate who you are... you just need self acceptance. Best of luck in figuring it all out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read your delemma ... like people have said .. why label it .. just be yourself and enjoy it .. life is way to short for to much pressure .

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By *ondererMan
over a year ago

a wee town

I have bi curious on my profile as it is the closest description on here, I have never been attracted to males, however I have on more than a few occasions played with them, and highly enjoyed it, in both a one on one setting and mmf/mfm scenario. But in saying that I have no problem if in a threesome/moresome there are guys who are vehemently straight as long as everyone knows what to leave alone so to speak.

The best description of myself personally would simply be that of a sexual being who loves to explore without set in stone personal boundaries, but highly respectful of others boundaries.

Never felt the need for a label such as straight or bi, or come out regarding the same, I just live my life as I am and while it has so far worked for me I understand it might not for everyone.

I think people should try not get caught up so much in labels and labeling and just enjoy the crazy unpredictable ride that it is to simply be human, be that straight, asexual, trans, LGBTQ, lmnop, whatever!

Be yourself and be as true to yourself as you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I don’t want to tell anyone I know but want to tell everyone I know about how tough I find all this. I don’t want to tell family. And I don’t even want to tell myself what I am. "

I'll echo what some other people have said here - you don't HAVE to tell anyone. It's no-one's business apart from the other person you are having sex with. You shouldn't feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone. Human sexuality is rarely discrete, as in totally straight or totally gay. A lot of people are somewhere in between - either in their minds or else they have had same-sex experiences. I'd go as far as to say that nearly all people have had same-sex thoughts in their lives (only liars and squares would say otherwise !)

What you identify as is up to you. You may find the Kinsey scale a good reference point for this. Main thing is, don't worry about it. Besides, whose business is it anyway ? Remember that this is only a part of you and there are many more facets of your life and personality that make you up. Good luck with everything !

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