FabSwingers.com forum: Delete messages without reading! Thoughts !

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/18 18:13:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? "

Of course it's fair. Your tagline says you're not here to waste anybody's time, so accept that some people will be so uninterested in you that they will delete your message unread.

It wouldn't be my way of doing things, but everyone has their own way. Focus on people who are interested and forget the rest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 17/01/18 18:13:29]"

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? "
let women come to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? let women come to you "

Ah stop

It might seem a little unfair, OP, but sometimes when we respond (politely) to say we aren’t interested, it can result in abusive messages. It’s easier to just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they don’t like your profile? I read the profile before I decide to open the message.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Exactly so the ladies can't win either way . If they reply to some idiots they get abuse so that why most won't reply . Can't blame them . Move on you might not be their cup of tea .

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By *otstuffkerry1Couple
over a year ago

tralee

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? let women come to you

Ah stop

It might seem a little unfair, OP, but sometimes when we respond (politely) to say we aren’t interested, it can result in abusive messages. It’s easier to just delete. "

exactly...my wife just replied to a newbie cpl ... one week here no veris .. and was blocked mid reply .... guess what will happen the next newbie messages

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? let women come to you

Ah stop

It might seem a little unfair, OP, but sometimes when we respond (politely) to say we aren’t interested, it can result in abusive messages. It’s easier to just delete. "

exactly this

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? "
in all honesty op you could burst your balls on here and get nowhere. part and parcel of the course. if your fussy your In extra trouble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I respond to alot of messages and sometimes a simple no results in a barrage of abuse about my weight and other personal insults or demand of an explanation why I'm uninterested so sadly it's easier to not reply at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my couples profile, if a dude mails something stupid or annoying, I'll always mark the message as unread and then delete it. Just cuz im a dick and I know it annoys people.

But to answer your question, yes it's fair. That's the nature of online dating. You can contact anyone and everybody and ask them anything you want, free from the anxiety you might feel approaching someone in real life. But on the flip side, you can just block and ignore someone which you also prob wouldn't do in real life. Gotta take the good with the bad. That's just what happens when you eliminate personal interactions and are communicating entirely with letters on a screen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I delete messages without reading them especially if they are from someone outside of the age range I'm looking for or if I look at the profile and it doesn't interest me. Sometimes it's jut easier than replying and to get a million questions as to why I'm not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We look at profile and if they don't match what we ask for delete straight away otherwise all get a reply

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"We look at profile and if they don't match what we ask for delete straight away otherwise all get a reply "

This is exactly what I do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be hard say your not interested in a nice way that doesn't hurt any feelings.. I always try to reply politely especially to people who have gone to the effort of reading our profile..

Il admit im guilty of deleting without opening the ones that start with "fancy a fuck"

Mrs Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is an answer from Admin from the following thread.

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/feedback/696811#message_15150621

"We've said it before but we'll say it again. We've had a thanks but no thanks button on other sites and it didn't produce anything positive.

It turns out that some people don't like rejection no matter how the message is delivered.

No reply means not interested.

Admin x"

If not interested block so you don't waste your time or theirs in the future either. No point remessaging those not interested.

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

I couldn't be arsed checking.

The only time I check my Sent items is when I've been having a conversation with someone already and they have not replied. Ok, also if I've had a few beers the night before and can't remember exactly what sort of smutty shite I may have sent someone and need to apologise for

Other than that, if it's a first message and they haven't replied/deleted, I couldn't be arsed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure this topic came up before , it’s just annoying , after looking at a profile , check all the interests and squeeze your brain to start a conversation then booommm [unread],[deleted]

Is it fair ? "

No its not fair ,its just life on this site . Its ten to one ratio women to men ,their inbox gets clogged up with silly/sad messages, cock pics ect ,so they have to dung the inbox out as would a farmer his cow shed .Its not purely/simply women being rude /nasty .They (some of them )can do that in a million other different ways.

Harry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete a lot of stupid messages like wanna fuck or my kik address is etc. Or if the person in an area where i wont be meeting etc. Saves time hassle and abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete a lot of stupid messages like wanna fuck or my kik address is etc. Or if the person in an area where i wont be meeting etc. Saves time hassle and abuse. "

exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This annoys me.. why the heck do guys on here think its okay to do this just because a woman decides she don't fancy him

It just makes it hard for the rest of us

And no not that kind.of hard

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

the easiest way is don't mail at all.

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Fab is not a fair place, and does not meet normal societal etiquette in relation to how the sexes interact ..

.accept that, move on...or dont meet...

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By *verage Joe BlackMan
over a year ago

Border Area

There’s a subtle point here that I think a lot of people have missed.

There’s a difference between “unread, deleted” and “read, deleted”, in my mind.

I interpret “read, deleted” as not interested, so I accept and move on - the “read” is a trigger for me.

I interpret “unread, deleted” as the lady’s inbox was overrun and she did a bulk delete to clear it down which was no reflection on me or my message. Therefore I’m faced with the dilemma of messaging her again as there’s a good chance she just didn’t see what I sent her.

And so she actually may not be interested in me but another “just to be sure” message may eventually wing it’s way to her if I fancy the pants off her - again cluttering up her inbox.

Does anyone else share this interpretation..?

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By *icole FanningTV/TS
over a year ago

Navan

I delete some messages without reading them. Normally when it’s from someone who hasn’t read my profile. For example: my profile says I’m only interested in guys 35+ and I can’t meet at short notice. So when I get messaged from a 20something year old & it’s starts with can I meet now .... then I delete it without opening the message.

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Unreads can be very frustratin...if its a stranger i might mail again..if its a friend or a contact ive been chatting i view it as rude and slide on..same as deleted and no reply...

.and btw..rude or just not interested are different but have the same end result..a wee slide on by..lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a subtle point here that I think a lot of people have missed.

There’s a difference between “unread, deleted” and “read, deleted”, in my mind.

I interpret “read, deleted” as not interested, so I accept and move on - the “read” is a trigger for me.

And so she actually may not be interested in me but another “just to be sure” message may eventually wing it’s way to her if I fancy the pants off her - again cluttering up her inbox.

Does anyone else share this interpretation..?"

Yep I think youre pretty much on the mark here. Harry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its probably best to just send a message and forget about it, no point worrying if it was read,deleted or whatever....if they are interested they would get back to you..

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By *orguyMan
over a year ago

Tuam

"Its probably best to just send a message and forget about it, no point worrying if it was read,deleted or whatever....if they are interested they would get back to you.."

Maybe they should remove that feature from the site and then nobody would know if their message was read.

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford

"Unreads can be very frustratin...if its a stranger i might mail again..if its a friend or a contact ive been chatting i view it as rude and slide on..same as deleted and no reply...

.and btw..rude or just not interested are different but have the same end result..a wee slide on by..lol..

use ur filters and that wont happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a subtle point here that I think a lot of people have missed.

There’s a difference between “unread, deleted” and “read, deleted”, in my mind.

I interpret “read, deleted” as not interested, so I accept and move on - the “read” is a trigger for me.

And so she actually may not be interested in me but another “just to be sure” message may eventually wing it’s way to her if I fancy the pants off her - again cluttering up her inbox.

Does anyone else share this interpretation..?"

No, for two reasons.

The first being that someone can click on your profile without opening your message, then delete the message if the profile doesn't interest them.

The second being that filters eliminate the scourge of the cluttered inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes ... If not for you just delete I often delete then immediately block

Sorry if I am offending someone but this is not friends reunited or face book it is a shagging site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We clearly state on our profile what we are looking for and what type we are after yet we get mail all the time from guys who simply don't fit the bill... guy's need to absorb what's in the profile they are looking at. The filters help but only to a degree. For us... not to reply or delete without opening means "not interested " no offence. Would you question a person in a nightclub if they said no?

... another reason could be bulk delete to many mails to reply to... just take it as not interested and move on xx

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By *aythekiddMan
over a year ago

Carlow

OP I'd suggest just deleting your sent messages as soon as you send them, then you're not worried about "read" "unread" or "deleted". You simply know if you don't get a reply there is no interest.....the alternative just seems kinda unhealthy

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