FabSwingers.com forum: Finding it hard to meet/play after a kid?

By *enusadonis OP Couple
over a year ago

Belfast

Hey Guys,

Just wanted to know how are you guys coping (read meeting/playing) after a family extension... lol

We had a kid 4 years ago and don't have any family to support us here. We want to go out for socials and play but the wee one is too clingy/cranky for a babysitter. Our whole life has been turned upside down. Have tried playing in daytime but its really hard for other fabsters i think.

We went to this couple's house long time ago and were just chatting with them in the living room and got really surprised when this toddler trotted in from upstairs rubbing his eyes and they told us that they had 1 more sleeping upstairs. Just want to know if anybody has done any socials (or a bit more) in house while the kids were sleeping upstairs or may be in different part of the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a 1 year old and like that I don't have the support locally , Child minders are hard to find and harder to afford

so in the last year I have met zero people on fab , yep , zero.

Social life is dead in the water too haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't have kids and if we had we would not have swinging friends over for play . Social yes but not to play, we would not be comfortable in someone's house playing either if there were kids sleeping or present in the house...not for us. Best to get your kid used to babysitter ..not easy I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/17 16:46:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hug to all the fabbers with children.. I have four.. Yeah count em! My eldest is in college but youngest two still in primary school. I'm lucky if I get one night a month, I've had to cancel social meets and coffee meets due to kids being ill etc. Or planing something like a night away and kids need money for their education (sigh).

I wouldn't play in the house if kids were in it.. And as my children are a variety of ages and numerous there is always an offspring at home lol.

Anyway to cut a long story boring my best price of advice is get together with your mammy friends and arrange a babysitting trade off system.. You will take Billy over night one month and then Billy's mom will take your bambino another night. Even vanilla people like a night away from their kids. Obviously you have to feel comfortable with leaving your child and with having someone else's child or children in your home. It can work out well and be a cheap and reliable way to get out.

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By *ease_EMan
over a year ago

DDD12

Could play separately.

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Ok, easiest option, if it fits.

Your little one is probably in crèche/Montessori of some sort. Ask there if any of the people your kid is very familiar with does babysitting. It's what we did to get them used to the idea. They see someone they know very well, are used to being around and playing with in daytime and are much more likely to be comfortable with. That gives you two a few hours away doing whatever and after a few occasions of that, your kid will get used to you guys going out.

Be aware that it will be expensive to begin, as you are getting a trained, qualified professional to babysit. After that though, you should be able to get the teenager of a friend to babysit for around €7 an hour.

Hope that helps

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By *ewbies201Couple
over a year ago

lisburn

We have a young family, and we definitely do not meet with the children at home. I know of some who do, but that's a big no no from us.

It severely limits our time for meets, social or otherwise.

MrN

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I couldn't meet with the young lad there , in any aspect be it a coffee or a play .

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Cudnt play with kids in the house but a social would be grand...its tough but guessing you will have to bite the bullitt on some form of childcare/babysitting...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had it planned with my kids in the house but to be honest it wasn't something I was comfortable with and cancelled the meeting. Apart from the psychological impact on the evening I just didn't want to take the risk. When I'm minding my kids I'm minding my kids 100%.

A babysitter recommended by a friend is probably the way to go. Even just to go out for an hour initially and slowly increase the duration out.. Eventually long enough so you can have a good session out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have 3 young kids and in no way would we play with them in the house,infact we wouldnt even if they werent in the house due to the security aspect of it all,it is hotels or nothing with us.

As far as getting the time...well yeah its hard,we have a new addition at 11weeks old so playing is never going to happen lol before she came along we would get if we were lucky 1 weekend every other month to ourselves

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By *enusadonis OP Couple
over a year ago

Belfast

"We don't have kids and if we had we would not have swinging friends over for play . Social yes but not to play, we would not be comfortable in someone's house playing either if there were kids sleeping or present in the house...not for us. Best to get your kid used to babysitter ..not easy I guess

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By *andaCouple
over a year ago

co down

We have two and have had babysitting issues in the past but not so much recently as our children are over 10. As somebody mentioned earlier, if you have somebody from the crèche that does babysitting, that would be an excellent place to start. It's not easy and their grandparents have passed away so nights out need a lot of planning. Good luck

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I asked the midwife if my wife and I would be able to enjoy sex after the birth of our first child. She said we would but then half an hour later she got all annoyed when I got into the bed with her.

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By *enusadonis OP Couple
over a year ago

Belfast

"We have a young family, and we definitely do not meet with the children at home. I know of some who do, but that's a big no no from us.

It severely limits our time for meets, social or otherwise.

MrN "

Day time meets???

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