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"So I've copied and pasted this but I love it! 'Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!'" That's actually decent ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jone's wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank. A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible". Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasn't so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle". Before he could finish the old lady fainted! ![]() That's brilliant. | |||
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"So I've copied and pasted this but I love it! 'Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!'" Very good, gave me a laugh | |||
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"What's the difference between a G Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball." Hahaha | |||
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"A horse and a donkey meet in a bar one night, they get chatting and hit it off, the horse invites the donkey back to his place, they go back and all around the walls are pictures of the horse winning the derby, the Guineas, the oaks etc etc. So anyway they have a bang and the horse suggests going to the donkeys house the next weekend, donkey is all up for it but he starts panicking thinking how he’s gonna impress this champion horse, he gets a brain wave and goes the zoo and takes a pic of zebra, so the weekend comes and the horse comes round to the donkeys, he walks in and there’s this massive picture of a zebra on the wall fucking huge taking up a whole wall, “what’s that” say the horse “ah it’s nothing” says the donkey “no tell me I wanna know” says the horse “ah I use to play for juventus” says the donkey " That should get a "Jacobs" award its a cracker........... | |||
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"A horse and a donkey meet in a bar one night, they get chatting and hit it off, the horse invites the donkey back to his place, they go back and all around the walls are pictures of the horse winning the derby, the Guineas, the oaks etc etc. So anyway they have a bang and the horse suggests going to the donkeys house the next weekend, donkey is all up for it but he starts panicking thinking how he’s gonna impress this champion horse, he gets a brain wave and goes the zoo and takes a pic of zebra, so the weekend comes and the horse comes round to the donkeys, he walks in and there’s this massive picture of a zebra on the wall fucking huge taking up a whole wall, “what’s that” say the horse “ah it’s nothing” says the donkey “no tell me I wanna know” says the horse “ah I use to play for juventus” says the donkey That should get a "Jacobs" award its a cracker..........." | |||
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