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Discretion in Swinging..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A question for you guys...

Would you ever warn another swinger, if you knew they were headed towards drama/grief. I appreciate discretion is very important, and I'm not talking about idle gossip and pointing out who you like or don't like. If you had genuine concern, would you save someone from a potential damaging situation?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Potentially damaging? Probably yes but it obviously depends on the scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it going to be a damaging situation and you are genuinely worried, concerned, of course your should say something. However, say it in a way of friendship rather than being bossy or pushy. Explain your concerns to them and they can make up their own mind. Everything should be safe.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I met a newbie female Fabber a while back who was a lovely genuine person but was being coaxed and manipulated by an experienced Fabber here who really should know better...

The consequences of her going along with his games and amusement would have put her own physical safety at serious risk so I told her straight out what could happen...

She's a grown adult so all I can do is warn her...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how well you know the person in question and only if 100% correct and can prove they are in danger

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just to clarify, this is all hypothetical. I'm merely trying to gauge when its OK to cross the line with confidentiality. I'll present a couple of possible scenarios.. someone you have met took it upon themselves to deliberately play unsafe without your consent... another scenario, you as a couple arrange to meet a guy, this guy singles the female out, to meet behind her husbands/partners back... you meet with a site member, and it becomes very apparent to you that the individual is not mentally or emotionally well enough to be involved in the lifestyle.. presuming, these individuals were then planning to meet someone on your friends list....Do you confide your concerns to your friends?

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"Just to clarify, this is all hypothetical. I'm merely trying to gauge when its OK to cross the line with confidentiality. I'll present a couple of possible scenarios.. someone you have met took it upon themselves to deliberately play unsafe without your consent... another scenario, you as a couple arrange to meet a guy, this guy singles the female out, to meet behind her husbands/partners back... you meet with a site member, and it becomes very apparent to you that the individual is not mentally or emotionally well enough to be involved in the lifestyle.. presuming, these individuals were then planning to meet someone on your friends list....Do you confide your concerns to your friends? "

Reverse the scenario, how would you feel if your 'friend' was of the opinion that you were not well mentally or emotionally and took it upon themselves to advise people against seeing you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to clarify, this is all hypothetical. I'm merely trying to gauge when its OK to cross the line with confidentiality. I'll present a couple of possible scenarios.. someone you have met took it upon themselves to deliberately play unsafe without your consent... another scenario, you as a couple arrange to meet a guy, this guy singles the female out, to meet behind her husbands/partners back... you meet with a site member, and it becomes very apparent to you that the individual is not mentally or emotionally well enough to be involved in the lifestyle.. presuming, these individuals were then planning to meet someone on your friends list....Do you confide your concerns to your friends? "

All those scenarios can be just gossip and back stabbing other members,she said, he tell, situaciones... I prefer not to get involved.

But if is life treating situation yes I would say something , the rest I try to stay away

I received too many warnings in the past about guys and mostly were just gossip or jealousy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to clarify, this is all hypothetical. I'm merely trying to gauge when its OK to cross the line with confidentiality. I'll present a couple of possible scenarios.. someone you have met took it upon themselves to deliberately play unsafe without your consent... another scenario, you as a couple arrange to meet a guy, this guy singles the female out, to meet behind her husbands/partners back... you meet with a site member, and it becomes very apparent to you that the individual is not mentally or emotionally well enough to be involved in the lifestyle.. presuming, these individuals were then planning to meet someone on your friends list....Do you confide your concerns to your friends?

Reverse the scenario, how would you feel if your 'friend' was of the opinion that you were not well mentally or emotionally and took it upon themselves to advise people against seeing you?"

Exactly... Who can judge that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just to clarify, this is all hypothetical. I'm merely trying to gauge when its OK to cross the line with confidentiality. I'll present a couple of possible scenarios.. someone you have met took it upon themselves to deliberately play unsafe without your consent... another scenario, you as a couple arrange to meet a guy, this guy singles the female out, to meet behind her husbands/partners back... you meet with a site member, and it becomes very apparent to you that the individual is not mentally or emotionally well enough to be involved in the lifestyle.. presuming, these individuals were then planning to meet someone on your friends list....Do you confide your concerns to your friends?

Reverse the scenario, how would you feel if your 'friend' was of the opinion that you were not well mentally or emotionally and took it upon themselves to advise people against seeing you?"

Obviously I would expect them to inform me, first and foremost, but if he had legitimate concerns, and I was unable to hear these, would he not be justified in passing these on. Obviously context matters..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just to clarify, this is all hypothetical. I'm merely trying to gauge when its OK to cross the line with confidentiality. I'll present a couple of possible scenarios.. someone you have met took it upon themselves to deliberately play unsafe without your consent... another scenario, you as a couple arrange to meet a guy, this guy singles the female out, to meet behind her husbands/partners back... you meet with a site member, and it becomes very apparent to you that the individual is not mentally or emotionally well enough to be involved in the lifestyle.. presuming, these individuals were then planning to meet someone on your friends list....Do you confide your concerns to your friends?

All those scenarios can be just gossip and back stabbing other members,she said, he tell, situaciones... I prefer not to get involved.

But if is life treating situation yes I would say something , the rest I try to stay away

I received too many warnings in the past about guys and mostly were just gossip or jealousy "

Its not gossip if you were the person that witnessed and experienced the scenario, it becomes gossip surely, if and when you pass on the information.

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By *andsomeman100Man
over a year ago

Ah sure now...

I think you would have to warn someone if they were heading into a genuinely physically dodgy situation. (Emotionally is harder to judge) Thats not gossip or nosey busy body stuff... its just the right thing to do. Could it backfire and you get accused of petty bitchiness? Yes...but better that than someone being hurt. I would certainly welcome a warning.

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By *ittyMissKittyWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"

I met a newbie female Fabber a while back who was a lovely genuine person but was being coaxed and manipulated by an experienced Fabber here who really should know better...

The consequences of her going along with his games and amusement would have put her own physical safety at serious risk so I told her straight out what could happen...

She's a grown adult so all I can do is warn her...

"

I've met someone like that and wish I had been forewarned about them... thinking back I was silly to have gone along with it but at the time I didn't even realise I was if that makes sense?

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"

I met a newbie female Fabber a while back who was a lovely genuine person but was being coaxed and manipulated by an experienced Fabber here who really should know better...

The consequences of her going along with his games and amusement would have put her own physical safety at serious risk so I told her straight out what could happen...

She's a grown adult so all I can do is warn her...

I've met someone like that and wish I had been forewarned about them... thinking back I was silly to have gone along with it but at the time I didn't even realise I was if that makes sense?"

Nobody learns from any one else's mistakes, only our own. Sometimes the price of an education can be quite high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I met a newbie female Fabber a while back who was a lovely genuine person but was being coaxed and manipulated by an experienced Fabber here who really should know better...

The consequences of her going along with his games and amusement would have put her own physical safety at serious risk so I told her straight out what could happen...

She's a grown adult so all I can do is warn her...

I've met someone like that and wish I had been forewarned about them... thinking back I was silly to have gone along with it but at the time I didn't even realise I was if that makes sense?

Nobody learns from any one else's mistakes, only our own. Sometimes the price of an education can be quite high."

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I've received several warnings over the time, most of it is gossip and rivalry. I only took one on board as it was backed up and proven, there was no doubt. I can't remember having warned anyone on here because all my meets we're sound.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not really the same thing but we had to tell a good friend of ours from another site that a single guy from here was using her photo even though they've never met.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry


"I've received several warnings over the time, most of it is gossip and rivalry. I only took one on board as it was backed up and proven, there was no doubt. I can't remember having warned anyone on here because all my meets we're sound. "

Too right, I don't believe any the rumours I've heard about you.

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By *eteyeMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Probably, yes, but total discretion otherwise, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors ??

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"I've received several warnings over the time, most of it is gossip and rivalry. I only took one on board as it was backed up and proven, there was no doubt. I can't remember having warned anyone on here because all my meets we're sound.

Too right, I don't believe any the rumours I've heard about you."

Nice try.

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