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Has Swinging Improved Your Self-Image?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There can be a fear with some people who are new to swinging, that they maybe rejected due to what they perceive as some personal flaw, whether it be looks, weight,or just not being forward enough, etc. For those of you who have been swinging for a while, have you found that swinging has improved your self-image? Do you feel better about your self? Or have you found that your early fears were well founded?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my self image went be the amount of rejections the average single guy gets on here I would be in trouble

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was. "

That sums up pretty much how I feel as well. I am what I am. I'm happy enough with that.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I wouldn't say helped my

Self-Image but swinging has definitely helped my confidence with the opposite sex. Meeting a woman for coffee and soon after having sex makes you more liberal minded regarding sex itself.

Also, being able to flirt by text is a life skill I've learned here that will stand to me for the rest of my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was. "

I agree with this entirely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was. "

Perfectly put and exactly how I feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No definitely not maybe it will come with age though

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By *eductively_SweetWoman
over a year ago

wexford


"I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was. "

so this

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was. "

Well said and perfectly put... I feel exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But surely ladies with your self-image closely linked to how much others like you, and what they think of your personality etc, does that in itself not boost your overall self image.I'm sure you are complimented, and affirmed no end, does that not resonate.?

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"But surely ladies with your self-image closely linked to how much others like you, and what they think of your personality etc, does that in itself not boost your overall self image.I'm sure you are complimented, and affirmed no end, does that not resonate.?"

Compliments on here are taken with a pinch of salt.....men you dont know saying how beautiful and sexy you are have alternative motive.

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By *llie and ApplesCouple
over a year ago

where ever

Back in the days of being Ms Appletree the male to female ratio made me feel worse about myself ....guys were only interested in me because I was a single female and I felt wouldn't normally in the real world be interested in this chick.....however some years later I agree whole hearty with Sally obrein ...i know my assets and try minimise my flaws ...and work what I got to great effect

Apples

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By *llie and ApplesCouple
over a year ago

where ever


"But surely ladies with your self-image closely linked to how much others like you, and what they think of your personality etc, does that in itself not boost your overall self image.I'm sure you are complimented, and affirmed no end, does that not resonate.?

Compliments on here are taken with a pinch of salt.....men you dont know saying how beautiful and sexy you are have alternative motive.

"
more eloquently put than I

Apples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But surely ladies with your self-image closely linked to how much others like you, and what they think of your personality etc, does that in itself not boost your overall self image.I'm sure you are complimented, and affirmed no end, does that not resonate.?"

My self image is linked to how I feel about myself, not how others do. Compliments can be almost worthless on here because most of them come from people who don't know me and have never seen me, apart from a few pics that I have chosen because they are better than the 50 others that I took and deleted.

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By *ightfury1Man
over a year ago

Co Armagh

Self image for me was losing weight taking my ass to the gym and training hard to get where i am now , Anything said on here good or bad is taken with a pinch of salt

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By *ugarandspice101Couple
over a year ago

Belfast


"I don't think swinging has improved my self image. I know I'm overweight and my legs aren't as long as some people's. Age has improved my self image, because I now accept myself as I am and trust that others do too. I'm not for everyone, but then again I never was. "

Yep this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But surely ladies with your self-image closely linked to how much others like you, and what they think of your personality etc, does that in itself not boost your overall self image.I'm sure you are complimented, and affirmed no end, does that not resonate.?

My self image is linked to how I feel about myself, not how others do. Compliments can be almost worthless on here because most of them come from people who don't know me and have never seen me, apart from a few pics that I have chosen because they are better than the 50 others that I took and deleted. "

Tell me about it, tis not easy getting a descent cock shot, im not being nieve, I understand their are plenty of ladies here who can quite clearly see through the bullshit, having said that im sure their are others who thrive off the attention they receive from the same folks you describe above, I appreciate your only speaking on your own behalf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I'm saddened to read that ladies here who receive a compliment from a man believes they only say it for alterior motives!I myself give compliments because I believe they are deserved and hey it's nice to be nice! Maybe its just my thing. By the way I've given compliments to guy's aswell because I wanted to but as I'm straight i had no motives!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Self image for me was losing weight taking my ass to the gym and training hard to get where i am now , Anything said on here good or bad is taken with a pinch of salt "

May I ask if that was a process you went through here on fab to be where your at in yourself today. When you initially joined, did you experience the fears outlined above?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But surely ladies with your self-image closely linked to how much others like you, and what they think of your personality etc, does that in itself not boost your overall self image.I'm sure you are complimented, and affirmed no end, does that not resonate.?

My self image is linked to how I feel about myself, not how others do. Compliments can be almost worthless on here because most of them come from people who don't know me and have never seen me, apart from a few pics that I have chosen because they are better than the 50 others that I took and deleted.

Tell me about it, tis not easy getting a descent cock shot, im not being nieve, I understand their are plenty of ladies here who can quite clearly see through the bullshit, having said that im sure their are others who thrive off the attention they receive from the same folks you describe above, I appreciate your only speaking on your own behalf "

You seem to have mastered the decent cock shot, keep up the good work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes as the ladies have said unless someone has met me and knows my personality compliments are usually taken with a pinch of salt unfortunately. We all get the copy and paste messages and the usual you have the best(insert any body part lol) on fab. Obviously personal insecurities come in to it but I think most lads and ladies on here take what's said very flippantly.... Unless it's from someone who has sampled the goods

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I've never feared rejection, it's part of the game. I'm not for everyone and not everyone's for me. I don't think it has changed my self image.

However it's undeniable that you get a boost when you're heading out for a meet, you throw yourself into some sexy clothes, smear a bit of make up on and collect some looks on the way to it and when you enter the bar/hotel where you meet, tease and flirt for a while and let the sparks fly until you explode behind closed doors for passionate steamy sex. I'm not getting any younger and it's nice to feel that you're not on the rusty iron heap.....yet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've never feared rejection, it's part of the game. I'm not for everyone and not everyone's for me. I don't think it has changed my self image.

However it's undeniable that you get a boost when you're heading out for a meet, you throw yourself into some sexy clothes, smear a bit of make up on and collect some looks on the way to it and when you enter the bar/hotel where you meet, tease and flirt for a while and let the sparks fly until you explode behind closed doors for passionate steamy sex. I'm not getting any younger and it's nice to feel that you're not on the rusty iron heap.....yet. "

Would it be fair to say then, that there is a certain insecurity or lets call it anxiety around not getting any younger, you get yourself ready for the meet, glam up more so than you would during the week, you look well, feeling good, meet the 20 something avocado guy, wham bam, he treats you like the princess. Does that not regulate the anxiety levels, even if only for a short time. Its almost like a right of passage here to acknowledge how well we deal with rejection, fair enough we experience it, why does it seem like some are reluctant to acknowledge that we feel it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. But it couldnt have gotten any worse

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

Everyone has insecurities in some shape or form. Sally has it pretty much covered on a confidence level and very well said.

Op you need only read the forums to spot a lot of them.

I got stood up for my very first hotel meet, oh the naievity of it in hindsight. Fake profile pretending to be a couple! But I learned a valuable lesson early on. I didn't dwell on it, I didn't take it personally, I didn't hit the forums and blame the site. I changed tactics, filtered up and addressed my end of things. Plus that turned out to be a bloody great weekend anyway

Madame Boo

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"I've never feared rejection, it's part of the game. I'm not for everyone and not everyone's for me. I don't think it has changed my self image.

However it's undeniable that you get a boost when you're heading out for a meet, you throw yourself into some sexy clothes, smear a bit of make up on and collect some looks on the way to it and when you enter the bar/hotel where you meet, tease and flirt for a while and let the sparks fly until you explode behind closed doors for passionate steamy sex. I'm not getting any younger and it's nice to feel that you're not on the rusty iron heap.....yet.

Would it be fair to say then, that there is a certain insecurity or lets call it anxiety around not getting any younger, you get yourself ready for the meet, glam up more so than you would during the week, you look well, feeling good, meet the 20 something avocado guy, wham bam, he treats you like the princess. Does that not regulate the anxiety levels, even if only for a short time. Its almost like a right of passage here to acknowledge how well we deal with rejection, fair enough we experience it, why does it seem like some are reluctant to acknowledge that we feel it.."

We all have our insecurities and quirks, but there's no point in over analysing things or even roll it out as an anxiety. Even though the forum is a mad house, it's not that everyone on here needs counselling. I think sometimes you're looking too hard for it. I'm not suffering from Gerascophobia, and I'm pretty much enjoying myself we're I am at this stage of my life.

All I tried to say that a meet can give you a temporary boost. And I'm sure the younger ones get a boost too.

Btw 20something guys and princess are terms that don't really go with me.

I like avocado though, throw in some continental cheese and a good bottle of mature red and we're onto something.

As for your rejection babbel, no one likes the feeling of being rejected, but again there's no point in making a big deal of it on here, is there?

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By *ack 188Man
over a year ago

Dublin 15

Haha one gets used to rejection but there's always hope

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Haha one gets used to rejection but there's always hope"

Ah but Donald still loves you!

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By *ack 188Man
over a year ago

Dublin 15


"Haha one gets used to rejection but there's always hope

Ah but Donald still loves you! "

How funny

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Haha one gets used to rejection but there's always hope

Ah but Donald still loves you!

How funny "

I thought it would cheer you up alright.

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By *ack 188Man
over a year ago

Dublin 15


"Haha one gets used to rejection but there's always hope

Ah but Donald still loves you!

How funny

I thought it would cheer you up alright. "

not taking the bait

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Haha one gets used to rejection but there's always hope

Ah but Donald still loves you!

How funny

I thought it would cheer you up alright.

not taking the bait "

You've become too cynical. There was no bait.

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By *ack 188Man
over a year ago

Dublin 15

I'm sure most of the guys and some ladies have suffered at the hands of abuse and rejection

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've never feared rejection, it's part of the game. I'm not for everyone and not everyone's for me. I don't think it has changed my self image.

However it's undeniable that you get a boost when you're heading out for a meet, you throw yourself into some sexy clothes, smear a bit of make up on and collect some looks on the way to it and when you enter the bar/hotel where you meet, tease and flirt for a while and let the sparks fly until you explode behind closed doors for passionate steamy sex. I'm not getting any younger and it's nice to feel that you're not on the rusty iron heap.....yet.

Would it be fair to say then, that there is a certain insecurity or lets call it anxiety around not getting any younger, you get yourself ready for the meet, glam up more so than you would during the week, you look well, feeling good, meet the 20 something avocado guy, wham bam, he treats you like the princess. Does that not regulate the anxiety levels, even if only for a short time. Its almost like a right of passage here to acknowledge how well we deal with rejection, fair enough we experience it, why does it seem like some are reluctant to acknowledge that we feel it..

We all have our insecurities and quirks, but there's no point in over analysing things or even roll it out as an anxiety. Even though the forum is a mad house, it's not that everyone on here needs counselling. I think sometimes you're looking too hard for it. I'm not suffering from Gerascophobia, and I'm pretty much enjoying myself we're I am at this stage of my life.

All I tried to say that a meet can give you a temporary boost. And I'm sure the younger ones get a boost too.

Btw 20something guys and princess are terms that don't really go with me.

I like avocado though, throw in some continental cheese and a good bottle of mature red and we're onto something.

As for your rejection babbel, no one likes the feeling of being rejected, but again there's no point in making a big deal of it on here, is there? "

haha babble, the cheek I wasn't suggesting you were suffering from gerascaphobia, that was a bit extreme, maybe chromophobia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can never look from approval from other people, if their compliments build you up then their insults can knock you down.

Saying that swinging throws up some interesting and unusual situations and my confidence has increased as I've learnt new social skills.

Jesse

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