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#metoo

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By *ohnandGem OP   Couple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin

I'm curious to hear peoples opinions on this latest trend to hit social media in the wake of the weinstein scandal.

If i asked any ladies if they'd been the subject of harassment or abuse on fab, LET ALONE real life i'm sure this thread would fill up with #metoo responses

And before we get the "men can be sexually assaulted too" responses, yes we can. but it happens to women on a much larger scale.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was sad to see my Instagram and FB timelines filled with this hashtag. I never knew so many of my friends had been affected and I may have shocked a few with my post too I guess.

It's not talked about enough and I hope this can open up the conversation a bit more. It should be talked about, it should be tackled and hopefully this will be of some help.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

It was shocking to see the #metoo

But it makes awareness to others they are not alone. Far too many people women and men stay quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was amazed at how much it came up on my fb too. And thats just the ones that are admitting to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was amazed at how much it came up on my fb too. And thats just the ones that are admitting to it."

Exactly. You can be guaranteed that so many stay quiet because of the shame and stigma attached to it. I'll admit I only posted on Instagram because I have no family as friends on there. So I know I add to the problem by not being as open about it as I can or should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was amazed at how much it came up on my fb too. And thats just the ones that are admitting to it.

Exactly. You can be guaranteed that so many stay quiet because of the shame and stigma attached to it. I'll admit I only posted on Instagram because I have no family as friends on there. So I know I add to the problem by not being as open about it as I can or should be. "

Sometimes you just don't want to dwell on the past either, it's not healthy to keep looking back on past horrific experiences and lord knows I've had more than my share. I do appreciate however that some get comfort from speaking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It definitely seems more prevalent than it once was, whether that's down to more confidence in reporting assaults for what they are or the 24 hour news culture doesn't matter as long as people are reporting crimes that can only be a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm curious to hear peoples opinions on this latest trend to hit social media in the wake of the weinstein scandal.

If i asked any ladies if they'd been the subject of harassment or abuse on fab, LET ALONE real life i'm sure this thread would fill up with #metoo responses

And before we get the "men can be sexually assaulted too" responses, yes we can. but it happens to women on a much larger scale. "

Men are sexually assaulted, and as far as this happening to women on a much larger scale, I'm not sure where the evidence is to support this assumption, in that men are predominately the perpetrators, this may or may not be the case, men are even more reluctant to come forward because of the stigma attached to being a victim in a society that constantly portrays males as the perpetrators. I find that these type of discussions generally end up reinforcing already unhealthy stereotypes about men. Maybe we need to think outside the box, in how we frame our arguement, to include both genders in a discussion about sexual assault.I dont do fb, so im not quite sure how that discussion is being portrayed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read an article today about men standing up against other men about the sexual assault and harassment of women using the #Metoo so I will stand!

#Metoo !!

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By *ohnandGem OP   Couple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin


"I'm curious to hear peoples opinions on this latest trend to hit social media in the wake of the weinstein scandal.

If i asked any ladies if they'd been the subject of harassment or abuse on fab, LET ALONE real life i'm sure this thread would fill up with #metoo responses

And before we get the "men can be sexually assaulted too" responses, yes we can. but it happens to women on a much larger scale.

Men are sexually assaulted, and as far as this happening to women on a much larger scale, I'm not sure where the evidence is to support this assumption, in that men are predominately the perpetrators, this may or may not be the case, men are even more reluctant to come forward because of the stigma attached to being a victim in a society that constantly portrays males as the perpetrators. I find that these type of discussions generally end up reinforcing already unhealthy stereotypes about men. Maybe we need to think outside the box, in how we frame our arguement, to include both genders in a discussion about sexual assault.I dont do fb, so im not quite sure how that discussion is being portrayed. "

With all due respect, and while I agree with a little of what you're saying. The reason I mentioned "yes men too" in my OP was to kinda prevent this tangent. It's a natural reaction from men, and expected....but this isn't about men being victims. I find lots of women usually have the same reaction when this is brought up "yes I agree it happens to men as well, but why men always have to make these things about them?"

But these are only my observances, and as a man myself, I'm not going to speak to women's opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm curious to hear peoples opinions on this latest trend to hit social media in the wake of the weinstein scandal.

If i asked any ladies if they'd been the subject of harassment or abuse on fab, LET ALONE real life i'm sure this thread would fill up with #metoo responses

And before we get the "men can be sexually assaulted too" responses, yes we can. but it happens to women on a much larger scale.

Men are sexually assaulted, and as far as this happening to women on a much larger scale, I'm not sure where the evidence is to support this assumption, in that men are predominately the perpetrators, this may or may not be the case, men are even more reluctant to come forward because of the stigma attached to being a victim in a society that constantly portrays males as the perpetrators. I find that these type of discussions generally end up reinforcing already unhealthy stereotypes about men. Maybe we need to think outside the box, in how we frame our arguement, to include both genders in a discussion about sexual assault.I dont do fb, so im not quite sure how that discussion is being portrayed. "

Yes, sexual assault happens to men too but this #metoo movement has come in the wake of the Harvey Weinsten stories and is in reaction to sexual assault on women. Not men.

So yes, it happens to men but this isn't what this is about.

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By *lourescentIncandescentsCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Hey don't mean to be coy... but I was surprised at how shocking people find this. Frankly I ( the Mr...) had assumed most women had dealt with sexual assault / harassment by the time they were 30... I kinda thought it was one of those sad things we hadn't evolved out of yet.

I mean we're the species who've elected people like Trump and Hitler right?

On a side note, I reckon when someone like Weinstein's around, that one person can assault scores of women in their time. So for perspective 1% of men can assault and scar at least 10% of women... and I bet there's more than 1% of the fuckers...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the first time in my life I admitted what happened publicly with #metoo ... I felt safe and protected by this community. ..it's time women stopped been ashamed

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By *andsomeman100Man
over a year ago

Ah sure now...

Ever so slightly off topic, sorry. I don't do FB and to be honest only vaguely noticed the Weinstein thing. But, can anyone tell me why a man would sexually assault a woman? Yes, that sounds very naive of me I know. My question is I suppose what's the payback? I don't get it? Most things we do, we do because there is benefit to us. What's the benefit to sexual assault? Its not the sex, because you can have that without assault. So it must be something else...power? I know there's a lot written about this, and there is a lot of accepted wisdom around why...but think about it...what the fuck would you get from it? Are they all just simply bullies? I'm a smart guy, but I just don't get this.

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By *ohnandGem OP   Couple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin


"Ever so slightly off topic, sorry. I don't do FB and to be honest only vaguely noticed the Weinstein thing. But, can anyone tell me why a man would sexually assault a woman? Yes, that sounds very naive of me I know. My question is I suppose what's the payback? I don't get it? Most things we do, we do because there is benefit to us. What's the benefit to sexual assault? Its not the sex, because you can have that without assault. So it must be something else...power? I know there's a lot written about this, and there is a lot of accepted wisdom around why...but think about it...what the fuck would you get from it? Are they all just simply bullies? I'm a smart guy, but I just don't get this. "

Two words: power and control.

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By *andsomeman100Man
over a year ago

Ah sure now...


"Ever so slightly off topic, sorry. I don't do FB and to be honest only vaguely noticed the Weinstein thing. But, can anyone tell me why a man would sexually assault a woman? Yes, that sounds very naive of me I know. My question is I suppose what's the payback? I don't get it? Most things we do, we do because there is benefit to us. What's the benefit to sexual assault? Its not the sex, because you can have that without assault. So it must be something else...power? I know there's a lot written about this, and there is a lot of accepted wisdom around why...but think about it...what the fuck would you get from it? Are they all just simply bullies? I'm a smart guy, but I just don't get this.

Two words: power and control."

Cool. I guess you're probably right. I wonder do these people want power and control in every aspect of their lives? I know a few who do...but I'd be shocked if they wanted to sexually assault women. My point is...it can't just be that. I don't know. I just don't get it. Their heads must be completely fucked up.

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By *xplicitlyricsMan
over a year ago

south dublin

Its been a positive thing to come out of the scandal that people feel like they can talk about this sort of thing more freely now because silence only benefits the perpetrators. Hopefully it leads people to see how common it is and that means people will take it more seriously.

The only 2 negative things are the pointless and distracting gender argument (who cares if youre female, male or trans if youve been a victim of assault?). Thats a waste of time and energy that distracts from the real problem of people we know having to deal with abuse on a regular basis. And the other is that I see people in Hollywood saying theyve been victims too but very few are naming the culprits which is the same problem we've had. People dont feel safe or able to name their abusers for fear of retaliation.

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir


"Ever so slightly off topic, sorry. I don't do FB and to be honest only vaguely noticed the Weinstein thing. But, can anyone tell me why a man would sexually assault a woman? Yes, that sounds very naive of me I know. My question is I suppose what's the payback? I don't get it? Most things we do, we do because there is benefit to us. What's the benefit to sexual assault? Its not the sex, because you can have that without assault. So it must be something else...power? I know there's a lot written about this, and there is a lot of accepted wisdom around why...but think about it...what the fuck would you get from it? Are they all just simply bullies? I'm a smart guy, but I just don't get this.

Two words: power and control.

Cool. I guess you're probably right. I wonder do these people want power and control in every aspect of their lives? I know a few who do...but I'd be shocked if they wanted to sexually assault women. My point is...it can't just be that. I don't know. I just don't get it. Their heads must be completely fucked up."

A small part of this behaviour is preconditioned in our Fright, fight, flight way of thinking. These reactions cause a chemical reaction that brings with it raised testosterone levels. Not all behave badly but some do and it is why you get incidents of r*** & sexual assaults in warring situations. The release of aggression or situation of power brings about raised levels of sexual arousal.

Madame Boo

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By *ainbowBrite57Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

#metoo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#metoo

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"#metoo "

Sorry to hear this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also posted #metoo on social media. This was a hugely powerful movement. For the first time I made public my story and learned about others including some friends. Whether your a man or a woman silence is the most powerful tool abusers have ... collectively we must stop been victims and start taking back control ..we must break the silence. ..so #metoo and take control back. Once we talk openly we're back in charge

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Open and honest dialogue is the best "cure" for this.

If people know they will be openly discussed, it's highly unlikely that they will ever physically enact it.

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Won't stop all of course. Much like other acts against the person, there's always going to be some who will do it regardless but minimising it would help so many potential victims.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking always helps and gives control back to the victims ... it stops us been victims. This is why this was so successful. It was a safe way to publicly say something happened to me it was wrong but I was not wrong

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"Talking always helps and gives control back to the victims ... it stops us been victims. This is why this was so successful. It was a safe way to publicly say something happened to me it was wrong but I was not wrong "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point "

So you're saying women only complain about sexual harassment when they're not attracted to the guy who touching them without their consent?

Right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

So you're saying women only complain about sexual harassment when they're not attracted to the guy who touching them without their consent?

Right. "

I actually couldn't comment on that statment I was so annoyed by it... seems it's all about attraction. . Us silly ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

So you're saying women only complain about sexual harassment when they're not attracted to the guy who touching them without their consent?

Right. "
well its good point im some not all women are like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

So you're saying women only complain about sexual harassment when they're not attracted to the guy who touching them without their consent?

Right. well its good point im some not all women are like that "

It's definitely not a good point and does not help in one bit. It's no wonder women are afraid to speak up when these shitty attitudes and statements are what they have to face!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

So you're saying women only complain about sexual harassment when they're not attracted to the guy who touching them without their consent?

Right. well its good point im some not all women are like that

It's definitely not a good point and does not help in one bit. It's no wonder women are afraid to speak up when these shitty attitudes and statements are what they have to face! "

well said wobbly, some people are fulla it with there small narrow minded thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

So you're saying women only complain about sexual harassment when they're not attracted to the guy who touching them without their consent?

Right. well its good point im some not all women are like that

It's definitely not a good point and does not help in one bit. It's no wonder women are afraid to speak up when these shitty attitudes and statements are what they have to face!

well said wobbly, some people are fulla it with there small narrow minded thinking. "

It's called I believe the she was asking for it attitude. .what's sad is this campaign was started to highlight a real problem and yet there's still these uneducated ignorant attitudes. For generations woman were left believing that sexual assault ( that's exactly what we're talking about) was their fault ... what causes a rxxx ..a rxxxxxt causes a rxxx. What causes a man to touch a woman inappropriately. . A man's own lack of moral code and an inability to control himself. In both cases the woman is not the problem the perpetrator is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's called I believe the she was asking for it attitude. .what's sad is this campaign was started to highlight a real problem and yet there's still these uneducated ignorant attitudes. For generations woman were left believing that sexual assault ( that's exactly what we're talking about) was their fault ... what causes a rxxx ..a rxxxxxt causes a rxxx. What causes a man to touch a woman inappropriately. . A man's own lack of moral code and an inability to control himself. In both cases the woman is not the problem the perpetrator is. "

The toxicity of some male's masculinity seems to absolve themselves of responsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's called I believe the she was asking for it attitude. .what's sad is this campaign was started to highlight a real problem and yet there's still these uneducated ignorant attitudes. For generations woman were left believing that sexual assault ( that's exactly what we're talking about) was their fault ... what causes a rxxx ..a rxxxxxt causes a rxxx. What causes a man to touch a woman inappropriately. . A man's own lack of moral code and an inability to control himself. In both cases the woman is not the problem the perpetrator is.

The toxicity of some male's masculinity seems to absolve themselves of responsibility. "

Wow I'm taken aback by that. Wise words thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Wow I'm taken aback by that. Wise words thank you "

You are most welcome.

Unfortunately societal foundations hold their views in place and they are not very likely to break through their cognitive dissonance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Wow I'm taken aback by that. Wise words thank you

You are most welcome.

Unfortunately societal foundations hold their views in place and they are not very likely to break through their cognitive dissonance. "

I agree to a point but I do believe that people can not so much change but learn to listen and accept these things happened and support any women and men who this happened to. I guess to put not to fine a point on it I hope people engage their brains before coming out with something vile and hurtful to someone who may be vulnerable. That and endless wealth is all I want ... my money is on the wealth

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point "

Good jaysus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point "

Good point indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

Good point indeed"
I know glad someone has some common sense

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

Good point indeed I know glad someone has some common sense "

Your definition of common sense is fucked up... I'm pretty sure implying that women only cry sexual harassment when they don't fancy the guy is NOT .. I repeat not common sense. ...

Let's drop the bull shit here... what you said is so so out of order. .. and anyone agreeing with you. ... well . Speaks volumes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its getting out hand now tho only yesterday I read article about people slating Adam Sadler saying he was inappropriate on chat show by friendly putting his hand on women's knee even women said it was meant in friendly manner can see more of this happening in wake all this. Also its blurring the lines between friendly flirting and women thinking there been sexually harressd cause they don't find the guy doing flirting as been attractive I seen lot that been brought up on social media which is a good point

Good point indeed I know glad someone has some common sense

Your definition of common sense is fucked up... I'm pretty sure implying that women only cry sexual harassment when they don't fancy the guy is NOT .. I repeat not common sense. ...

Let's drop the bull shit here... what you said is so so out of order. .. and anyone agreeing with you. ... well . Speaks volumes... "

I think any woman who's been affected by this topic appuldes you for your comments. It's only a weak bully that would belittle another in the way these people did. At the end of the day they have only themselves to look at and ugly attitudes generally come back to haunt you a little floppy bit

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