FabSwingers.com forum: why does it end badly?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been on the wrong end of bad break ups but my most recent break up has hurt a lot. Name calling is fine, I can handle an insult but mix that with unadulterated venom and even I can begin to feel fear. We all know it ends badly but how do you keep things in check? Advice welcome, truly.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through. Stand your ground try not go to his level. If you fear him is there a friend you can confide in?. Above all stay safe.

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By *unnitoesWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Cut off all avenues of contact...hope you're ok xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/09/17 22:08:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing worse than a bad break up. Don't feed fuel to the fire.

Men react worse when they see that they get a reaction. If you have finished and he's been horrible then he doesn't deserve the time of day.

Stop all contact put yourself first and move on. Eventually you'll be glad that he's a distant memory.

Hope your ok xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to there level and beat you with experience, don't blame yourself.

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

Dust yourself down and get on with things you like doing it just takes time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont let him wind you up! My ex husband was so passive agressive, he'd be there smiling at me and I'd be freaking out and slamming doors. He'll know how to get to you, my ex still does it daily but don't let him wind you up. Block him and keep yourself busy x

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By *odernLoveDublinMan
over a year ago

dublin

Go do something positive for yourself. Do something you've always wanted to do or book a trip to go somewhere you always wanted to go.

Remind yourself you life is fully undee your control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey, your not alone even if it may feel that way. Safegaurd yourself against any risk of physical harm, dont isolate what you are going through, reach out to people who care about you. Emotions are going to be all over the place, sadness, loss anger, fear, this person has been the subject of your affection, love etc and vice versa. Anger and disgust for this persons behaviour may well help you in not re-engaging with him. You may also feel angry towards yourself for ignoring your intuition and disregarding warning signs.remain goal orientated in work and the rest of your life.. good luck.

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Well firstly, here's my shoulder to lean/cry on and I'll throw in a hug and tell you it's going to be ok soon.

Sorry to hear this. If you know the reason for the venom, is there an antidote you can apply, which might make him see things more clearly and ease his ire?

If not, then I would concur with much of the above, stay clear and get on with your own life and what makes you happy. Catch up with real friends you may not have seen much of lately and take that weekend break/holidays you were considering that he wasn't into.

All will make you feel better and bring you back to being the person you wee before, with perhaps an even happier outlook.

Hope you are ok xxx

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By *aughtyTippcplCouple
over a year ago

Nearby

I'm so sorry ur going through this.

I've been there myself with my ex husband. And for a very long time (5 yrs) after I split with him. It went on so long I started to believe what he said about me was true, that I was worthless and no good.

Until I realised that in reacting to what he said made him keep going. I stopped. And slowly but surely so did he.

He's feeding off ur reaction and ur hurt each time. Even if it does get to u, try not to let it show. In time the hurt of it will ease and u'll find u really don't care what he says anymore. Because what he says is totally untrue and ur better than any name he may call u.

With men like that it's all about control, when they lose that control they shut up. Keep ur chin up, and stay proud of urself. Ur worth better than that xx

Tina

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Get a hot guy and make him mad jealous. Sorry I know how you feel had a lady do that to me broke my heart and I cried over it . But I got over it but it can be very painful. There's plenty more fish in the sea . Hold your head up high you are better than him .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep things in check by never having a relationship end badly. If you're constantly in that situation maybe it's time to re-evaluate the kind of person you end up in a relationship with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I keep things in check by never having a relationship end badly. If you're constantly in that situation maybe it's time to re-evaluate the kind of person you end up in a relationship with. "

Its an interesting comment, hindsight is a wonderful thing as they say, im sure there are many women who walk down the aisle on the happiest day of there life, to end up in a&e with broken limbs through no fault of there own, im not saying for a moment that your suggesting they should have known better, nor am I suggesting that this is what the op has experienced, im just curious as to how we safegaurd ourselves from getting into loving relationships that turn dysfunctional.

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

"I keep things in check by never having a relationship end badly. If you're constantly in that situation maybe it's time to re-evaluate the kind of person you end up in a relationship with. "

The op is a woman. That's advice you'd give to a guy

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By *andsomeman100Man
over a year ago

Ah sure now...

Its not a nice place to be at all. I can't add much to whats already said. The big thing is NO contact if it can be avoided. Can you put geographic distance between you and him?

No matter who did what during the relationship, once the relationship is over, no one has a right to harass or cause upset.

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