FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Ireland

Weekend Slightly Offensive Jokes.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45lbs

Whats the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 3 mins.

Have ya heard the title of Salman Rushdies new book, Budda is a fat cunt..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new wife?

No?

.

Neither has he!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How do ya teach a blonde math, add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

My ex husband and I were happy for 20 yrs and then we met.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a man and a condom

Condoms have changed

They are no longer thick and insensitive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

Our local Post Office was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy.

The police are describing the suspect as six feet tall, and anywhere between twenty five and eight thousand years old

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

The Garda station in Lucan was broken into and all the toilets were destroyed. Gardaí say they have nothing to go on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I know a Polish sound engineer.

I know a Czech one two....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Dublin

Barman says “not yew tree again”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats the difference between real jesus and a picture of jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does santa Claus have such a huge sack?

He only comes once a year

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Whats the difference between real jesus and a picture of jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture "

You've just made the baby Jesus cry!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imeoutaloneMan
over a year ago

Dublin to Westmeath

I saw an Alzheimer's burglary gang earlier today

I really don't think they know what they're letting themselves in for

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igBlondeDommeWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere

Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lorry full of hairbrushes stolen in Limerick.

Gardai are combing the area.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imeoutaloneMan
over a year ago

Dublin to Westmeath

They say a woman's work is never done.

This explains why they are paid less.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you call 5 black lads hangin from a tree.. Mississippi windchime

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massive crater appears in central Dublin.

Gardai are looking into it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massive crater appears in central Dublin.

Gardai are looking into it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A young woman hasnt been in her native village in Ireland for more than five years. One day she gets home, but when she crosses the threshold of the house her father screams at her:

“Where have you been all this time ? Why didn’t you write us a letter ? Why didn’t you call us ?”

The chick begins to cry and says among the tears:

“Dad, I’ve become a prostitute…”

“What ? Get out of here, sinful woman ! You are a shame to our Catholic family ! I deny you !”

“As you think, dad. I just want to give this gorgeous mink coat to my mother and give you that card worth 5,000 euros, as well the property papers of the villa that I just bought for you… Also, I wanted to invite you to spend the holidays on my yacht…”

Father asks:

“What did you say you became ?”

She starts crying again and says:

“Prostitute, dad…”

“Oh thank God for that ! You did scare me ! I thought you said Protestant…”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I went to visit my elderly grandfather a couple of weeks ago and he did nothing but bitch about how my generation relies way too much on technology. I said his relies on it even more and unplugged his life support.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gardai have just announced they discovered 15 kilos of cocaine, 200k in cash, 4 rifles and a hand gun at the back of the library in Ballymun. Locals ate said to be absolutely shocked as they didn't know there was a library there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Egypt played Ethiopia in an African soccer tournament.

Egypt 8

Ethiopia didn't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike, with my uncle's hands firmly gripping my shoulders.

.....

....

...

..

.

My first ever football match was like my first experience of anal sex. I was battered and bruised after it and my uncle came.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gardai have just announced they discovered 15 kilos of cocaine, 200k in cash, 4 rifles and a hand gun at the back of the library in Ballymun. Locals ate said to be absolutely shocked as they didn't know there was a library there"

Having spent a month in ballymun one weekend,I do find that funny as fk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a pimple and a priest?

A pimple will at least wait untill you're a teenager to cum on your face

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats the weirdest thing about having sex with a pregnant lady, getting a blowjob off the baby

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Paedophiles find it hard to fit in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a new alcoholic vagina gel that women can rub on their flaps, so when the bloke goes down he can have a bevvy as well..

However, the government have banned it, amid of 24 hour minge drinking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats the difference between a gspot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *usietranslutTV/TS
over a year ago

carlow

Whats the difference between an egg and a good ride?

You can beat an egg!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ombikerMan
over a year ago

the right side of the river

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I could be ugly for just one day.

Being ugly every day sucks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a dog with no balls?? Anything you want. He still won't come!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it

We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orethanenough73Man
over a year ago

City centre

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why did god create man?

because vibrators cant mow the lawn and take the bins out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy and Mick going home from a night out just realized that they didn't have enough money for the bus, So they decided to go to the Bus depot and steal a bus. Mick broke into the depot as Paddy stood guard for the police. After a while Paddy decided to see what was keeping Mick so he looked through the gate there he saw Mick running from bus to bus looking worried

"What the hell are you doing? " hissed Paddy

Mick replied " I can't find a number 6 bus anywhere Paddy "

Holding his hands to his head in disbelief Paddy barked

"You idiot Mick Steal a number 8 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I die I wanna go peacefully in my sleep like my grandad......not screaming like all his passengers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top