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Dear Mary: I coaxed my wife to try swinging and now she refuses to give it up

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula

Dear Mary,Irish Independent today.

Does this give a fair representation of Swinging in Ireland or is it a rather unfortunate situation.

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula


"Dear Mary,Irish Independent today.

Does this give a fair representation of Swinging in Ireland or is it a rather unfortunate situation. "

Link. http://m.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/dear-mary-i-coaxed-my-wife-to-try-swinging-and-now-she-refuses-to-give-it-up-36046758.html

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Just read it and for starters, drugs and swinging are two separate matters but both appear to be lumped together in this letter.

I would have to question a few things about the letter itself. Firstly, if a man asked his wife would she consider swinging, that's not "coaxing", it's simply asking a question . She then apparently decided to take the bull by the horns and organize this meet ALL by herself (what a gal) without his knowledge, consent or input as he thought she was "just messing" Seriously ...

Also, If a woman in her fifties decided to start taking drugs because drugs were at a meet, she's either weak willed or easily influenced by others as drugs have NOTHING to do with swinging...

Myself, I think that the letter is fabricated. However, if it just happened to be real, other areas like lack of communication, wife swapping without consent and addiction would need to focused on first and foremost...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read the reply with Marian Finucane's RTE Radio 1's voice in my head. The whole letter and reply brought me back to my youth when my granny always had a radio on and there was a programme where a woman replied to problem letters that people had sent in. I don't remember any of the problems, they probably went right over my young head, but I do remember the voices. In other words, this feels like a throwback to the 70s and the reply is just as old fashioned.

I've seen it said here before that it's usually the man who wants to swing, but that it's usually the woman who gets most of the attention, to the point that some men can't cope with. It's not for everybody, and if that letter is real, it seems the man 'created a monster' he'd have been better leaving alone. Of course it could be argued that his wife must have been terribly unhappy, if she'd been so unfulfilled up to that point.

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula

Sally

I agree with you about the old fashioned way in which the letter was written and also the reply. Sort of old school Sunday world stuff. It's a long time since I lived in Dublin, and I remember radio shows like that too.

Hope it has changed for the better. Has it?

In some ways Ireland is seen as a progressive modern European country, but in other ways not so. Like I said I haven't lived their for a long time and can't really comment on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sally

I agree with you about the old fashioned way in which the letter was written and also the reply. Sort of old school Sunday world stuff. It's a long time since I lived in Dublin, and I remember radio shows like that too.

Hope it has changed for the better. Has it?

In some ways Ireland is seen as a progressive modern European country, but in other ways not so. Like I said I haven't lived their for a long time and can't really comment on that."

I think in some ways we've progressed, but in other ways not so much.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"I read the reply with Marian Finucane's RTE Radio 1's voice in my head. The whole letter and reply brought me back to my youth when my granny always had a radio on and there was a programme where a woman replied to problem letters that people had sent in. I don't remember any of the problems, they probably went right over my young head, but I do remember the voices. In other words, this feels like a throwback to the 70s and the reply is just as old fashioned.

I've seen it said here before that it's usually the man who wants to swing, but that it's usually the woman who gets most of the attention, to the point that some men can't cope with. It's not for everybody, and if that letter is real, it seems the man 'created a monster' he'd have been better leaving alone. Of course it could be argued that his wife must have been terribly unhappy, if she'd been so unfulfilled up to that point. "

Ahh... Good old Frankie Byrne.. "Dear frankie"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ahh... Good old Frankie Byrne.. "Dear frankie" "

Thank you! I couldn't remember her name, but she had the same gravelly voice as Marian Finucane. That's been driving me mad all morning.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"Ahh... Good old Frankie Byrne.. "Dear frankie"

Thank you! I couldn't remember her name, but she had the same gravelly voice as Marian Finucane. That's been driving me mad all morning. "

She had, although she probably sounded more assured than Marian and was probably paid an awful lot less for a lot more work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way to look at it is like this.

Some people can do a joint to relax, have a drink or two, and even do a line of or a few pills at a festival, have a good time, and thats the end of it.

Other people become heavy drug users, and alcoholics.

Exact same thing with sex. For some people they can meet up, have a 3some, have a good time, then never do it again, or do it in a months time and have a good time.

Others end up in gimp costumes, wanting sex every night with loads of different people.

A wife will be able to get the sex easier than the guy, and this might leave him feeling isolated and alone, while he watches guys take out a train on his wife, and she isn't picky about who the guys are, and hes still jerking off on his own every night, wondering why she refused him anal for 15 years, but now gets double penetrated every night in the other room.

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By *ohnandGemCouple
over a year ago

Louth/Meath/Dublin

Sounds like she wasn't happy in her marriage and saw his "joke" as an opportunity for a bit of fun. Now she's too selfish to admit she's not happy in her marriage and end it, and wants to keep having NSA fun.

That's if it's not totally fabricated

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula


"The way to look at it is like this.

Some people can do a joint to relax, have a drink or two, and even do a line of or a few pills at a festival, have a good time, and thats the end of it.

Other people become heavy drug users, and alcoholics.

Exact same thing with sex. For some people they can meet up, have a 3some, have a good time, then never do it again, or do it in a months time and have a good time.

Others end up in gimp costumes, wanting sex every night with loads of different people.

A wife will be able to get the sex easier than the guy, and this might leave him feeling isolated and alone, while he watches guys take out a train on his wife, and she isn't picky about who the guys are, and hes still jerking off on his own every night, wondering why she refused him anal for 15 years, but now gets double penetrated every night in the other room."

Yep, Pandora's box situation.

Be careful what you wish for and which genie you let out the bottle .

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula


"Sounds like she wasn't happy in her marriage and saw his "joke" as an opportunity for a bit of fun. Now she's too selfish to admit she's not happy in her marriage and end it, and wants to keep having NSA fun.

That's if it's not totally fabricated "

Indeed, why would she want to admit that now, when she can have cake and eat it so to speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the letter was written by Mary herself and she is now buying a bag of of every week

I have to say, I'm not impressed by the article.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

What a lot of rubbish, the ways it's written certainly doesn't suggest it's authentic. And to spice it up we throw in 'drugs' as in one sin does never come alone. Of course not mentioning what kinda 'drug' as they're all the same evil and addictive. And now the poor fella has to cook his own dinner once every so often by himself! Perfect silly season stuff or in German also called summer hole filler!

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I remember back in the 80's, someone I knew used to write letters to a certain Sunday newspaper. Now, he wasn't a WORLDLY guy himself as he was only 15, but two of his fabricated letters did get published...

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

I read the letter and think it lacks details that a concerned person would include to add credence to his gripe like where did Mary find this couple. As we are aware the easiest place to find such activities is on a site like fab but no where does he mention setting up a profile or how she managed to set up a meet in such a short time. Also if she's now going solo he again failed to say where she meeting these people from maybe it's just me but we all know how hard it is to set up a first meet even for couples surely he had some knowledge of what this cpl were like before meeting them and in his words it happened. Also as a cpl I think there would be more conversations around what each other is comfortable with and how far they like to take it and if one feels uncomfortable they would take a step back, just going on experience of being on these sites and having met cpls that are on their first outing there seems to be a lot missing the letter seems to simplistic

But then again she may have being on as a single woman that had met others and had the inside track to fast forward things it may not be that she got hooked but was already hooked and now she's out if the closset but she was hooked only now he knows about it

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula


"

But then again she may have being on as a single woman that had met others and had the inside track to fast forward things it may not be that she got hooked but was already hooked and now she's out if the closset but she was hooked only now he knows about it "

True, I hadn't thought of that, good point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The article is nonsense

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By *ilbearni OP   Man
over a year ago

peninsula


"The article is nonsense "

It can't be, it's in the Irish Independent!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear mary .....

If I had a problem u would be the last person I would look to for advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Mary

Not enough hot cougars on fab this is really ruining my life what do I do!!

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By *heoldhippyMan
over a year ago

Midleton


"Ahh... Good old Frankie Byrne.. "Dear frankie"

Thank you! I couldn't remember her name, but she had the same gravelly voice as Marian Finucane. That's been driving me mad all morning.

She had, although she probably sounded more assured than Marian and was probably paid an awful lot less for a lot more work. "

She had her own pr company in the 50s and she had a child with Frank Hall (showing my age if I can remember him!). She hit the bottle in later life and she died of Alzheimers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may be a fabricated story. (I'm sure about the drugs thing)

But it would be common enough for one partner not to enjoy the swing scene and want to leave.

Some cpls I have talked to its the guy who has instigated the swinging, but once the female gets involved they love it more and take control. For many cpls on here that is ideal but for some it's not what they had in mind.

Also so ppl just want a threesome or wife swap but others enjoy the party social scene more

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