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"Sit down with your wife somewhere away from where you live and the house and places familiar with the family and sit and talk it through. I know that is easier said than down but it's the only way. Believe me, the only winners in going to court is the legal profession and both you and your wife will be the losers in the end. One of you may get more than the other, however, when you both look back, you'll both realise how much more you both could have had in terms of money, health, access, everything. I'd reached agreement with my ex and when I went to see my solicitor to sign the agreement, she had a hissy fit about the way things were worded from the ex wife's solicitor and it cost me €600 to change 'the other parties bank account' to 'a financial institution of the other parties choice' and a few other stupid things. I don't know how far you are in but if it's a separation agreement, it's not worth the paper it's written on and either party can get out of it at anytime even if signed by both and when you go to get divorced, the bloody lot is back up for grabs again. As the old saying goes 'marriage opens your eyes' and it did for me. Best of luck my friend. " Good advice! Im not even going for any sort of agreed legal seperation, I'll just do my 4 yrs til the divorce. Only 2.5 to go | |||
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"There was a thread up here a few months back and mediation was mentioned and supported by quiet a few I may be wrong but those that had used the service said it cost little or nothing and was a better resolution all round. Can't remember the name of the thread but maybe one of u other forum it's can and bump it for the op it really was an informative thread for people in this suitation " Definitely recommend mediation. However you will still incur legal fees when you divorce - totally worth it though | |||
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"A mediator will also refer you to a family therapist. Far better to spend your money on the services of people helping you to achieve an amicable solution rather than lining the pockets of the legal profession - the more you fight, the richer they get." There is a lengthy waiting list for the free Family Mediation Services in Cork. Both parties need to apply themselves to be able to be offered an appt. Private mediation services are quicker but charge around the €100 mark for the hour. Mediation works if you can both talk to each other and need an independent person to keep things on track. Mediators have a good understanding of family law and custody/access etc but are not legally qualified to advise on any matters. Both parties need to engage the services of a solicitor anyway as the mediated agreement will have to be legally rubber stamped by your solicitors. It's money whichever way you look at it!! | |||
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"A mediator will also refer you to a family therapist. Far better to spend your money on the services of people helping you to achieve an amicable solution rather than lining the pockets of the legal profession - the more you fight, the richer they get. There is a lengthy waiting list for the free Family Mediation Services in Cork. Both parties need to apply themselves to be able to be offered an appt. Private mediation services are quicker but charge around the €100 mark for the hour. Mediation works if you can both talk to each other and need an independent person to keep things on track. Mediators have a good understanding of family law and custody/access etc but are not legally qualified to advise on any matters. Both parties need to engage the services of a solicitor anyway as the mediated agreement will have to be legally rubber stamped by your solicitors. It's money whichever way you look at it!! " Some mediators are in fact qualified solicitors - ours was, and even if you have to pay -as we did - it's surely money better spent, particularly if avoiding acrimony for the sake of one's kids is important? | |||
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"A mediator will also refer you to a family therapist. Far better to spend your money on the services of people helping you to achieve an amicable solution rather than lining the pockets of the legal profession - the more you fight, the richer they get. There is a lengthy waiting list for the free Family Mediation Services in Cork. Both parties need to apply themselves to be able to be offered an appt. Private mediation services are quicker but charge around the €100 mark for the hour. Mediation works if you can both talk to each other and need an independent person to keep things on track. Mediators have a good understanding of family law and custody/access etc but are not legally qualified to advise on any matters. Both parties need to engage the services of a solicitor anyway as the mediated agreement will have to be legally rubber stamped by your solicitors. It's money whichever way you look at it!! Some mediators are in fact qualified solicitors - ours was, and even if you have to pay -as we did - it's surely money better spent, particularly if avoiding acrimony for the sake of one's kids is important? I agree absolutely! Unfortunately kids are the innocent, unwitting victims in any parental split. Mediation is designed for a couple to be able to work things out for themselves in a neutral but supportive and structured way and the best option if it is workable for the couple. Great if your mediator is a solicitor cos then you won't have the hassle of your solicitor saying to you "I can't get involved cos you're in mediation". You'll still have to engage a solicitor though. Unfortunately any marital split costs a hell of a lot more than money. " | |||
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