FabSwingers.com forum: Favourite insults

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Inspired by the CUNT thread, what are your favourite insults. They don't have to swear words.

Fuckstick

Ballroot

If you'd brains you'd be dangerous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always loved, "Smell your ma".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've always loved, "Smell your ma"."

Even just "your ma" is enough

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By *it_tribesmanMan
over a year ago

Galway

He hasn't hands to wipe his arse...

For somebody who useless at manual labor

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

Oh dear....

"Go suck a dick"

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"If you had a brain cell it would have died a long time ago of loneliness"

"I'd beat you and your mothers ass" James Toney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tits on a bull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell me all you know, it won't take you a minute

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I love a good battle of wits but I won't fight an unarmed person

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By *aythekiddMan
over a year ago

Carlow

Mine is:

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

Love it, use it all the time, really cuts them deep

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Ye bleedin doooooppppppppe!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always loved, "Smell your ma".

Even just "your ma" is enough

Ahhhhh the cause of many a row lol

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Scarleh for yer granny for having yer ma who had you

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By *safunwituMan
over a year ago

Enniscorthy

May your ears turn into arse holes and shite on your shoulders...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always loved, "Smell your ma".

Even just "your ma" is enough

Ahhhhh the cause of many a row lol"

Indeed. It just doesn't need anything else said with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet your Mother wishes she'd swallowed now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The best part of you ran down your ma's leg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best part of you ran down your ma's leg!

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Reason I've little hair on my head is because your ma pulled one hair off... for every time I fucked her"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The best part of you ran down your ma's leg!"

Jinx lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The best part of you ran down your ma's leg"

Omg pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Reason I've little hair on my head is because your ma pulled one hair off... for every time I fucked her""

I really shouldn't laugh because that is soooooooooooo naughty but I can't stop laughing hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All the coc*£ne in the world and your nose is still stuck in my business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuckwit!

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By *iktikiCouple
over a year ago

city centre

Go way you prick with ears,the best of you ran down your old man's leg

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By *apt blackMan
over a year ago

Lurgan

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain that to you.

When God was handing out brains, you thought he said trains, and you're still standing on the platform.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got called a shitehawk a few times. Never quite understood what it meant

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By *hoosyhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

any

Your a waste of skin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Father to 20 year old son; the only thing you were ever good for is when you were running down your mothers legs 20 years ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wankerrrrrrr !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know what your problem is but I bet you can't spell it.

I would call you a c*nt but you've no warmth & certainly no depth.

You remind me of a penny, 2 faced & fucking worthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your da sells avon ya fruit ... had me in stitches

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

You look like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a face on ya like a slapped arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weapon

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

You innocent bastard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You look like a bulldog chewing a wasp!"

& also the Bulldog licking piss off a nettle...

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

You know what you are?

Youre the result of anal sex you shite!

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By *andyrackkyMan
over a year ago

South

Ya dirty little hamster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your a cock juggling thundercunt

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

"You look like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

& also the Bulldog licking piss off a nettle...

Good one

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

No ... sorry I carnt be rude to people intentionally. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you had 2 brains you would be twice as thick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cunty bollox

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By *trawberryCutieWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

If I want shite out of u I'll squeeze your head

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain that to you.

When God was handing out brains, you thought he said trains, and you're still standing on the platform. "
loving this thread, definitely using these at work !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Reason I've little hair on my head is because your ma pulled one hair off... for every time I fucked her"

I really shouldn't laugh because that is soooooooooooo naughty but I can't stop laughing hahaha

Friend: you're puttin on weight

Me: thats coz everytime i fuck yer ma, she makes me a sambich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was in the local last nite an heard an epic one

And old guy coughing up his lung smoking a fag.

A younger guy beside him trying too chat up a stunning young lady.

He turned around and said too the older guy. Would you shut up and die quitely please im trying too get my rockers here . Haha belter of a line

The old guy turned around an said theres a reason you young lads dont get your hole. You treat a lady with respect something you will never understand son.

Younger guys reply ah feck off Fr.Jack an go back diying will ya

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

The best of u was thrown out in the bucket at ur birth

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

Child bearing hips

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By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

I'd call you a prick but a prick can actually be useful

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By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

She looks like someone that fell over a lot as a child and always landed on her face

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your da sells avon ya fruit ... had me in stitches

*ya wee froot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Child bearing hips

I don't see this as an insult. Hips are a positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your da sells avon ya fruit ... had me in stitches

*ya wee froot"

I haven't heard ye wee froot in yrs hahaha really made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your da sells avon ya fruit ... had me in stitches

*ya wee froot

I haven't heard ye wee froot in yrs hahaha really made me laugh

Has to be spelt froot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sligo could fall into a barrel of nipples & still come out sucking his thumb.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You gobshite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I wanted to listen to an asshole i'd fart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much an insult but I find the words TUT TUT works well with some people.Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell you to go fuck yourself but I am pretty sure you would be disappointed.

I see being a cunt is the first thing on your to do list today

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By *aa MidletonMan
over a year ago

east cork

Your folks must of had dropped you as a baby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your folks must of had dropped you as a baby "

If you had two brains you would be twice as stupid you wank stain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like 5tonnes of shite in a half tonne bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your an thundering cunt

You need an good bitch slap from an sledgehammer,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Young, dumb and full of cum (from a movie, I can't remember which one but Gene Hackman said it. He said it to a guy but as an insult it works even better at a female.

I also love "shitehawk" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The tide wouldn't take you out

If there was a garden full of mickies I wouldn't let you look over the wall

The doctor smacked your mother when you poped out

When you fell out of the ugly tree you hit every branch

Just a few of our favorites

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By *azkinsWoman
over a year ago

leeds

"your only here because your mother slept in someone else's wet patch"

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By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

You'd want to stick your hand up your hole and pull yourself together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cockwomble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If work was a bed you'd lie on the floor !!

If you were a horse you'd be shot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knobjockey

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By *ork fellaMan
over a year ago

Macroom

Lad said to me one night "fuck you and all belong to ya and if you've cousins in America fuck them too!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The highest degree of a bollix I ever met "

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

Cock juggling thunder cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

JAMF.

Jive-assed-mutha-fucka.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Knob jockey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knob jockey"

Don't you drop the K? Nobjockey looks so much better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourite has to be when someone fucks something up and you just reply with "sweet suffering jaysus"

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

Fucking peasant

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Knob jockey

Don't you drop the K? Nobjockey looks so much better. "

Hey, do it does

though I'm uneasy about tweaking my knob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've a face like a pair of tits..

Mouth like a bursted welly (someone that can't keep a secret)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she's like the heel of a sliced pan everybody touches her but nobody wants her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hijuela setenta mil pares de la gran puta!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hijuela setenta mil pares de la gran puta!

"
Big bitch is the last part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arse biscuit is possibly my favourite.

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By *rman82Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hijuela setenta mil pares de la gran puta!

Mal pario!

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Actually used in true story......

If encountered by pompous students playing the "do you know who my father is card" the response of "more to the point does your mother know who your father is ?" normally cuts them down to size....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If wit was shit you'd be constipated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who exactly, tied your shoelaces this morning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ye dirty bastard!

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By *3earMan
over a year ago

Dublin

You wouldn't ride her/him into battle !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ride him/her is he/she had pedals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shut your cock washer before we slap the dock off your breath!

Yer maws does it for fag coupons behind the door with the guy that cleans the wheelie bins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually used in true story......

If encountered by pompous students playing the "do you know who my father is card" the response of "more to the point does your mother know who your father is ?" normally cuts them down to

size...."

Another one I like for that....your father???? Having seen your mother at that party it's a wonder you don't bark!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can sh_smell da otters pocket of that one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does your arse ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does your arse ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth"
never

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By *addy36Man
over a year ago

Mayo

You'd be a horse of a man if you could shite while your walking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat shit, bitch.

As said to me many years ago by a lovely person

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"If bullshit was poetry, you'd be William f#@king Shakespeare"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya have a face on ya like a well slapped arse .... ??

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By *aughtyTippcplCouple
over a year ago

Nearby

When u were born the doctor slapped ur mother

Tina

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By *arkandEm14Couple
over a year ago

dublin

Your mother fucked out the baby and raised the afterbirth

Poxbottle

And my favourite. 3 million sperm and you were the fastest

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By *arkandEm14Couple
over a year ago

dublin

Ill stick this pitch fork up your hole.

Ride me sideways was anotherone.

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By *andyrackkyMan
over a year ago

South

You've a face on ya like a bull dog chewing a wasp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A feckin shite of a cockwomble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm saving my insults for special people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ill stick this pitch fork up your hole.

Ride me sideways was anotherone."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet your aul fella wished he had come on the curtains now instead of looking at your wrote off face everyday..!! You horrible pox..!

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By *uddles500Man
over a year ago

city

Shes got a pussy like a stab wound in a gorillas back

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You're as much use as a chocolate fire guard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're as much use as a chocolate fire guard"

I listened to a colleague repeat that daily for 8 years, I wanted to fuck him into the fire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer that much of a cunt even the tide wouldn't take you out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're as much use as a chocolate fire guard

I listened to a colleague repeat that daily for 8 years, I wanted to fuck him into the fire

How about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike?

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By *eanbelfastMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Cockwomble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d call you a c*nt, but you lack both the depth and warmth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're as much use as a chocolate fire guard

I listened to a colleague repeat that daily for 8 years, I wanted to fuck him into the fire

How about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike? "

Is that you Mick!! Ya bollox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BASTID !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kiss you under the mistletoe? I wouldn't even kiss you under anaesthetic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That lad has a brand new set of brains they’ve never been used

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

"BASTID !!!!!"

Or Baahstood, depending on location, upbringing and emphasis

I know 2 women that don't normally swear but gin brings out the weirdest combination of cursing I have ever heard. It cracks me up.

Smegma head

Cock rot

Inverted cunt

Cheese crud

Too gammy to catch a disease

Mangey minger

Fish monger licker lover

Dirty bot fly

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By *iktikiCouple
over a year ago

city centre

The best of you ran down yer old one's leg

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By *lison123Woman
over a year ago

Iv seen better legs on a table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BASTID !!!!!

Or Baahstood, depending on location, upbringing and emphasis

I know 2 women that don't normally swear but gin brings out the weirdest combination of cursing I have ever heard. It cracks me up.

Smegma head

Cock rot

Inverted cunt

Cheese crud

Too gammy to catch a disease

Mangey minger

Fish monger licker lover

Dirty bot fly

Sounds a bit like the slanging insults at the dinner table between Peter Pan and The Lost Boys in the film "Hook "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The smell of otter's pocket of that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d call you a c*nt, but you lack both the depth and warmth "

One of my favourites

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Go way ya langer..

2. You trollup..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your face looks good for radio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like u got run over by a bus

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By *oxminxCouple
over a year ago

Portlaoise

Whatever Gimp!

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By *ustin-SiderMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm gonna fill your ma's fanny with concrete and then the whole town is gonna get horny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seen more brains in a bus load of monkeys."

Not aimed at anyone here.

Harry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You complete brain dead fuckwit

Extream annoyance

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By *ojos jugsWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

Ive just been called the Queen of Whores by a wankstain.. not sure if its an insult or a compliment really...

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By *ccommodating GuyMan
over a year ago

Outside

The tide wouldn't take you out !!

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Ye langer ye

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By *ccommodating GuyMan
over a year ago

Outside

"Ye langer ye "

Cap fits ? Yup !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above

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By *ccommodating GuyMan
over a year ago

Outside

"Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above "

Jaysus, who pissed you off Sall ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above

Jaysus, who pissed you off Sall ?"

No one yet ...lol that's only when the red mist desends

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

"Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above

Jaysus, who pissed you off Sall ?

No one yet ...lol that's only when the red mist desends

Go easy on the red wine so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above

Jaysus, who pissed you off Sall ?

No one yet ...lol that's only when the red mist desends

Go easy on the red wine so

Ahhh I didn't have any ... saving myself for Saturday. .. gosh Dunboyne is it bad

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

"Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above

Jaysus, who pissed you off Sall ?

No one yet ...lol that's only when the red mist desends

Go easy on the red wine so

Ahhh I didn't have any ... saving myself for Saturday. .. gosh Dunboyne is it bad

Ah so your still thirsty so. Saturday! I thought you were worried as it was Friday. You should have had a few tonight so you didn't want any tomorrow and then back at it Saturday

Nah, it's not too bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your a brain dead weasel

Your pathetic

Your soul is ugly

I try to refrain from all of this but sometimes someone can just be all or one of the above

Jaysus, who pissed you off Sall ?

No one yet ...lol that's only when the red mist desends

Go easy on the red wine so

Ahhh I didn't have any ... saving myself for Saturday. .. gosh Dunboyne is it bad

Ah so your still thirsty so. Saturday! I thought you were worried as it was Friday. You should have had a few tonight so you didn't want any tomorrow and then back at it Saturday

Nah, it's not too bad

Good cause I've a few more and I may be tempted to share

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