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Do you drain or do you radiate?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I haven't posted here for a while, with exception of my ladies night post

So,I'd like to share something with you all, if that is okay?

Fab has taken a back seat for me in recent few months for reasons which I'll not bore you with. This meant I become more withdrawn, less engaged and less time for fab.

It funny but that time has made me have fresh eyes because of how people around me reacted. Some patient, some feeling hard done by.

I do believe now more than ever in the analogy that people fall into 2 camps ‘drains’ or ‘radiators' and would like to share this analogy with you

Radiators are those with a positive outlook who when you engage with,make you feel good. They’re usually happy in themselves, positive and confident and have a good level of perspective on life. They don't mind if you don’t use the heat they give off.  They don’t tend to worry what others think of them, and don’t gossip or judge others.

Drains are the opposite; they have a more negative outlook on life and there glass is always half empty. Engaging with them is hard work,leaving you emotionally drained. They are quick to judge and gossip about others.  They go on about their problems, and are self absorbed, zapping your energy.

Now there are periods and circumstances that even a radiator feels down, like myself. I didn't radiate happiness and I didn't want to be a drain either, so I disengaged, replying I was in bad form, not wanting to put my problems on them, not posting on forums etc.

So, anyway, do you recognise these personality traits? Do you drain or radiate?

By the way, this post is general observations, so please if anyone recognises this, it really does not mean this post is about you

From now on, I will be stepping over the drain and hugging a radiator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I was a radiator - tho not a very sympathetic one. I don't have a lot of patience with drains so tend to surround myself with other radiators

I never thought I'd write a sentence like that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd say I was a radiator - tho not a very sympathetic one. I don't have a lot of patience with drains so tend to surround myself with other radiators

I never thought I'd write a sentence like that."

Yes, having met you, I would agree. A fun person to be around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have pretty much eliminated energy vampires from my life, with the exception of a colleague, I just ignore her drivel and turn the conversation at work to more positive things.

Happiness is largely a choice, as is victimhood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely a radiator here

Have had to cull a few drains

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By *onzo1880Man
over a year ago

Tyrone, Ireland

Totally understand where you are coming from Red.

Like Lon says, I would class myself as a Radiator also. There is enough negativity in the world via News, Social Media, Local Politics etc that it's important to be positive and not to let the negative people bring you down. Have no time for negativity and gossiping and tend to give it short shrift....life is too short. And would see myself as generally positive with a genuine interest in someone.

Radiators are good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very well put red indeed. You have just put our past couple months in perspective we definitely know all about the type of people that you refer to

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By *eon SaintsCouple
over a year ago

Citywest

Great thread op!

I think there are many who could take something from your analogy.

Both of us are definitely radiators, Mr probably more so ...... but isn't it just exhausting to be any other way??

Our approach to life is don't sweat the small stuff, even the big stuff has a way of working itself out, as long as you are proactive and don't sit, dwell and expect things to right themselves or worse for someone else to sort it for you

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

Red I couldn't have put it better myself....

There are people who build you up verses the social vampires I call them, after a tumultuous year myself it made me stop and see everyone I surrounded myself with in a totally different light and unluckily for them it gave me a zero tolerance level!

When you are in someone's company are you emotionally drained or left feeling warm and fuzzy? No contest really is there!

I tend to only surround myself with these type of people and I'm naturally drawn to light-hearted happy positive energy.

Laughing is my favourite tonic.

You red my dear friend are a radiator! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more a Tilly lamp fill me with oil and dip my wick and I'll burn bright for hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I radiate that much you can see me from outer space.lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and all my friends are radiators but I do tend to be drawn to drains sometimes.

I try to draw the best in them out and warm them up - seldom works.

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

On a lighter note I don't mind being drained in the bedroom department....

Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if I'm a radiating drain or a draining radiator...but it gets wet and empty

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Great analogy, Lilred, I like it

Unsurprisingly the best meets are radiators and it makes you think who had/has/will have/would have which effect on you when meeting.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Perception is an interpretation of how u perceive others

Ur preception of others is never going to match the personality they would like u to perceive them as, No body is going to admit to being a drain. We all like to think we surround our self's with radiators like our self's,and that drains like wise attract each other unfortunately that's not the reality one persons drain is another's radiator.

I like to think of my self as underfloor heating always warm and welcoming willing to adapt to climatic change in a smooth barely unnoticeable cooling or heating as the conditions demand. However there are times when u have hit the boost button and just get steamy, also times the oil runs is gone and u just go cold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id like to say radiate but open to correction on that.

Especially on my meets here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id like to think i radiate...do we all have our drain days??? Yes we do but life is hard enough so i try have a positive look on life... a smile and a few kind words cost nothing but can mean the world to someone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a radiator for sure

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

I'm a radiator for others I help in any way I can always give a different perspective on things etc but I drain myself

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By *owdyboy 890Man
over a year ago

Country West

Well I try to radiate on here most of the time..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a radiator for others I help in any way I can always give a different perspective on things etc but I drain myself "

Great answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I'm a radiator mostly but can be a grumpy so and so on the odd occasion ,But mostly my glass is always half full x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Great response all and yes, no.one is a drain, though cj is underfloor heating, and hardy a Tilly lamp.

Thinking I come across a few boilers in my time...head melters

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Great response all and yes, no.one is a drain, though cj is underfloor heating, and hardy a Tilly lamp.

Thinking I cum across a few boilers in my time...head melters

"

Just fixed that there for u

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great response all and yes, no.one is a drain, though cj is underfloor heating, and hardy a Tilly lamp.

Thinking I cum across a few boilers in my time...head melters

Just fixed that there for u "

Why thank you CJ for fixing my typo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great analogy.... I work with 2 drain type people so i know well the type and steer clear in personal life. I'm no brad Pitt in looks but I could entertain, engage & radiate better than him!!!. Even being around these personality drains is like walking on egg shells

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By *lippery-when-wet-180Woman
over a year ago

South Dub


"I'm a radiator for others I help in any way I can always give a different perspective on things etc but I drain myself "

This is so me !!!

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By *ease_EMan
over a year ago

DDD12


"I haven't posted here for a while, with exception of my ladies night post

So,I'd like to share something with you all, if that is okay?

Fab has taken a back seat for me in recent few months for reasons which I'll not bore you with. This meant I become more withdrawn, less engaged and less time for fab.

It funny but that time has made me have fresh eyes because of how people around me reacted. Some patient, some feeling hard done by.

I do believe now more than ever in the analogy that people fall into 2 camps ‘drains’ or ‘radiators' and would like to share this analogy with you

Radiators are those with a positive outlook who when you engage with,make you feel good. They’re usually happy in themselves, positive and confident and have a good level of perspective on life. They don't mind if you don’t use the heat they give off.  They don’t tend to worry what others think of them, and don’t gossip or judge others.

Drains are the opposite; they have a more negative outlook on life and there glass is always half empty. Engaging with them is hard work,leaving you emotionally drained. They are quick to judge and gossip about others.  They go on about their problems, and are self absorbed, zapping your energy.

Now there are periods and circumstances that even a radiator feels down, like myself. I didn't radiate happiness and I didn't want to be a drain either, so I disengaged, replying I was in bad form, not wanting to put my problems on them, not posting on forums etc.

So, anyway, do you recognise these personality traits? Do you drain or radiate?

By the way, this post is general observations, so please if anyone recognises this, it really does not mean this post is about you

From now on, I will be stepping over the drain and hugging a radiator

"

Great Post and can relate to that.

I am very positive and upbeat guy, don't do negativity.

I doubt you'll get a Drain to post here though.

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By *ease_EMan
over a year ago

DDD12


"I'm a radiator for others I help in any way I can always give a different perspective on things etc but I drain myself

This is so me !!! "

Your Radiator is leaking, the floor is Slippery..... Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven't posted here for a while, with exception of my ladies night post

So,I'd like to share something with you all, if that is okay?

Fab has taken a back seat for me in recent few months for reasons which I'll not bore you with. This meant I become more withdrawn, less engaged and less time for fab.

It funny but that time has made me have fresh eyes because of how people around me reacted. Some patient, some feeling hard done by.

I do believe now more than ever in the analogy that people fall into 2 camps ‘drains’ or ‘radiators' and would like to share this analogy with you

Radiators are those with a positive outlook who when you engage with,make you feel good. They’re usually happy in themselves, positive and confident and have a good level of perspective on life. They don't mind if you don’t use the heat they give off.  They don’t tend to worry what others think of them, and don’t gossip or judge others.

Drains are the opposite; they have a more negative outlook on life and there glass is always half empty. Engaging with them is hard work,leaving you emotionally drained. They are quick to judge and gossip about others.  They go on about their problems, and are self absorbed, zapping your energy.

Now there are periods and circumstances that even a radiator feels down, like myself. I didn't radiate happiness and I didn't want to be a drain either, so I disengaged, replying I was in bad form, not wanting to put my problems on them, not posting on forums etc.

So, anyway, do you recognise these personality traits? Do you drain or radiate?

By the way, this post is general observations, so please if anyone recognises this, it really does not mean this post is about you

From now on, I will be stepping over the drain and hugging a radiator

"
.. would like to think i radiate tho i think im sometimes influenced by those around me ..if someone is a drain it brings me down with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I radiate and drain if I'm honest. This may also be with the same person and there are many factors for this. Can be many outside factors that influence us at a particular time when meeting or chatting to some one too. Behaviour, trust, and perceptions (right or wrong) time of month, family, home and work pressures, illness...the list goes on with pressures and stress.

I think the real person is the one who you meet, engage with face to face, empathise with, share with.

To say we are one or the other I think only demonstrates one aspect of that person...and maybe that's the aspect we know. We also give off vibes to each other and both can be happy or negative... so I don't think it's actually anyone particular fault but as with good or bad sex...It both that contribute to it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd say I radiate and drain if I'm honest. This may also be with the same person and there are many factors for this. Can be many outside factors that influence us at a particular time when meeting or chatting to some one too. Behaviour, trust, and perceptions (right or wrong) time of month, family, home and work pressures, illness...the list goes on with pressures and stress.

I think the real person is the one who you meet, engage with face to face, empathise with, share with.

To say we are one or the other I think only demonstrates one aspect of that person...and maybe that's the aspect we know. We also give off vibes to each other and both can be happy or negative... so I don't think it's actually anyone particular fault but as with good or bad sex...It both that contribute to it."

Good points here, particularly relate to vibes are better picked up face to face. So much text communication can be misinterpreted. Hence I prefer face to face meet to see if their a connection rather than investing my time in long drawn out virtual chat

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side

There are the people who really know me and who i trust to drain with if that makes sense in hard times in my life... though in this situation on fab I tend to keep my problems separate and use this environment as escapism... though generally I'm a glass half full girl and will try and help anyone if I can...but I tend to attract fun as I project this myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are the people who really know me and who i trust to drain with if that makes sense in hard times in my life... though in this situation on fab I tend to keep my problems separate and use this environment as escapism... though generally I'm a glass half full girl and will try and help anyone if I can...but I tend to attract fun as I project this myself. "

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd say I radiate and drain if I'm honest. This may also be with the same person and there are many factors for this. Can be many outside factors that influence us at a particular time when meeting or chatting to some one too. Behaviour, trust, and perceptions (right or wrong) time of month, family, home and work pressures, illness...the list goes on with pressures and stress.

I think the real person is the one who you meet, engage with face to face, empathise with, share with.

To say we are one or the other I think only demonstrates one aspect of that person...and maybe that's the aspect we know. We also give off vibes to each other and both can be happy or negative... so I don't think it's actually anyone particular fault but as with good or bad sex...It both that contribute to it.

Good points here, particularly relate to vibes are better picked up face to face. So much text communication can be misinterpreted. Hence I prefer face to face meet to see if their a connection rather than investing my time in long drawn out virtual chat "

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By *ailburkeMan
over a year ago

near you


"Perception is an interpretation of how u perceive others

Ur preception of others is never going to match the personality they would like u to perceive them as, No body is going to admit to being a drain. We all like to think we surround our self's with radiators like our self's,and that drains like wise attract each other unfortunately that's not the reality one persons drain is another's radiator.

I like to think of my self as underfloor heating always warm and welcoming willing to adapt to climatic change in a smooth barely unnoticeable cooling or heating as the conditions demand. However there are times when u have hit the boost button and just get steamy, also times the oil runs is gone and u just go cold."

Cj i have read a good few of your posts over the last couple of weeks and you seem to be always on point a man with lawers no man crush here just admirastion

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By *ewbies201Couple
over a year ago

lisburn

That perspective usually comes with age and wisdom. Drains and radiators are as good an analogy as any... And tbh one of the best.

Life's too short to be brought down. Rise.

Mr Newbies

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Perception is an interpretation of how u perceive others

Ur preception of others is never going to match the personality they would like u to perceive them as, No body is going to admit to being a drain. We all like to think we surround our self's with radiators like our self's,and that drains like wise attract each other unfortunately that's not the reality one persons drain is another's radiator.

I like to think of my self as underfloor heating always warm and welcoming willing to adapt to climatic change in a smooth barely unnoticeable cooling or heating as the conditions demand. However there are times when u have hit the boost button and just get steamy, also times the oil runs is gone and u just go cold.

Cj i have read a good few of your posts over the last couple of weeks and you seem to be always on point a man with lawers no man crush here just admirastion"

Man hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/7630554

I knew I read this post before....

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By *aura66Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I guess everybody has a personality type . Be it predominately an optimist or a pessimist . And no matter what life throws your true self will always resurface.

Generally like attracts like . Fab's no different than real life . And as all of my fab friends are definitely radiators .. I must be one too ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/7630554

I knew I read this post before...."

Interesting point that all of us are drains at some point... I guess the impact of it depends on at what point you come across their path. What have they just gone through or what have we just faced that will impact that. There are people on here who classify themselves as radiators but there are times they are drains. Most of us here may know each other from socials or meets and at those times we are most likely to radiators as most are at times when upbeat. I'd hazard a good guess and say not one person on here isn't or hasn't been a drain. We have our on screen and secretive fab persona as for many it's an escape. In our personal private lives there may be those whom we drain or feel drained by. It's often a reciprocal thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reason I joined this site is because someone told me this was a good place to get you're radiator drained.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The reason I joined this site is because someone told me this was a good place to get you're radiator drained."

They told you porkies. It's much easier at home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The reason I joined this site is because someone told me this was a good place to get you're radiator drained.

They told you porkies. It's much easier at home."
Feck it its late telling me that now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The reason I joined this site is because someone told me this was a good place to get you're radiator drained.

They told you porkies. It's much easier at home. Feck it its late telling me that now."

Need to find yourself a good plumber or go look for "our good friend Allurs" who had a thread about cleaning pipes a while back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life, in public, I try to radiate, and I usually appear bright and happy in general to most people. I'm mostly a positive person who looks for the good in people and things. But sometimes, depression gets the better of me, and I struggle to see the good. The best way I've found to deal with that, is to withdraw from people so as not to drag them down with me.

On here it's much easier. If I'm in good form, I'll post more, interact more. If I'm not, I hardly post at all, and I certainly wouldn't want my bad mood to influence how I behave here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In real life, in public, I try to radiate, and I usually appear bright and happy in general to most people. I'm mostly a positive person who looks for the good in people and things. But sometimes, depression gets the better of me, and I struggle to see the good. The best way I've found to deal with that, is to withdraw from people so as not to drag them down with me.

On here it's much easier. If I'm in good form, I'll post more, interact more. If I'm not, I hardly post at all, and I certainly wouldn't want my bad mood to influence how I behave here. "

Sally, I get that totally. Fortunately I don't get depression just times where I need my own space. Can't imagine how dehibilating that would be. And I have never seen anything less than positive from your contribution to forums. Our fab community is just that..a mixture of all sorts but strangely comforting

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By *llie and ApplesCouple
over a year ago

where ever

I like your post cj...and the new purple look...very cardinal like...your grace...

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By *onedbodMan
over a year ago

co Galway

Great post op well thought out and articulated! Have no time for negative people so personally i would be a radiator!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course, even the warmest radiator can have occasional drain-like moments. When truly awful things happen it’s hard to be a radiator and nor should anyone try to be. We all need to vent now and then, and not everything online should be fluffy kittens and pink peonies. In fact, it has never been more important to keep things real. We need all of the good, the bad and the ugly on social media so others can radiate all their love, kindness and respect in the right direction"

Took this from the link shared above.

Worth the read.

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By *un17Man
over a year ago

Ennis

Was with a drain for years and they would suck the life out of you Everyone goes through bad periods but no need to see the worst in everything think positive people the world is much better

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Generally, 90% of the time, I'm a radiator. However I do have normal worries about money, mortgage, work, family, etc but I tend to be optimistic about most things. Some times can be quite matter of fact and occasionally I can dip into the drain. Thankfully, I've surrounded most of my life/friends with radiators, so those times don't last very long.

I have to say, the majority of genuine Fabbers are definitely radiators and the odd drain does tend to get flushed fairly quickly, which is a good thing, as why should we let one iffy pipe ruin our buzz, regardless of how real, short-lived or otherwise fab life may be.

As my happy, hippy wife would say, Love & Light to all

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like we should be adding these to our profile description?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Generally, 90% of the time, I'm a radiator. However I do have normal worries about money, mortgage, work, family, etc but I tend to be optimistic about most things. Some times can be quite matter of fact and occasionally I can dip into the drain. Thankfully, I've surrounded most of my life/friends with radiators, so those times don't last very long.

I have to say, the majority of genuine Fabbers are definitely radiators and the odd drain does tend to get flushed fairly quickly, which is a good thing, as why should we let one iffy pipe ruin our buzz, regardless of how real, short-lived or otherwise fab life may be.

As my happy, hippy wife would say, Love & Light to all

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like we should be adding these to our profile description? "

Great idea John. Red you have started a radiator Revolution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In real life, in public, I try to radiate, and I usually appear bright and happy in general to most people. I'm mostly a positive person who looks for the good in people and things. But sometimes, depression gets the better of me, and I struggle to see the good. The best way I've found to deal with that, is to withdraw from people so as not to drag them down with me.

On here it's much easier. If I'm in good form, I'll post more, interact more. If I'm not, I hardly post at all, and I certainly wouldn't want my bad mood to influence how I behave here.

Sally, I get that totally. Fortunately I don't get depression just times where I need my own space. Can't imagine how dehibilating that would be. And I have never seen anything less than positive from your contribution to forums. Our fab community is just that..a mixture of all sorts but strangely comforting "

Thanks so much for your kindness xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perception is an interpretation of how u perceive others

Ur preception of others is never going to match the personality they would like u to perceive them as, No body is going to admit to being a drain. We all like to think we surround our self's with radiators like our self's,and that drains like wise attract each other unfortunately that's not the reality one persons drain is another's radiator.

I like to think of my self as underfloor heating always warm and welcoming willing to adapt to climatic change in a smooth barely unnoticeable cooling or heating as the conditions demand. However there are times when u have hit the boost button and just get steamy, also times the oil runs is gone and u just go cold."

Couldn't have put it better myself Cj

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes life sucks but you gotta pick yourself up and get on with it.

Not always an easy thing to do but I refuse to be a drain on anyone. If I need a hug I am lucky in that I have family and a few good friends who I can rely on to do just that. And a fabber or 2

I went through a period where I was a radiator that was totally drained by a few people. Health suffered etc and lesson learned.

Do I get depressed? I don't know if I do but I do get thoughtful and try to understand why people act how they do at times but eventually realise its their issue not mine. During these times I step back, look at and appreciate the important things in life.

So now I am Sunshine and here to smile and make other people smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drains are just holes in the ground,Shine on you crazy diamonds

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

If you surround yourself with people who are radiators then you will enjoy life more...surround yourself with drains all the time and you become one also...its life choices..everyone can have bad days of course but having positively in your life helps overcome it. The other thing is that you shouldn't be drained trying to radiate.Dont stress the small stuff.Mindset is a huge thing in life...we are after all the only ones on control of our own movement and thoughts.That perhaps is the biggest challenge for us all at times. X

Oh and as for me....i radiate as best I can bit like the OP have had drain days too.

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By *upoftea2Man
over a year ago

Dublin

I radiate in the shower!

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By *armel and FrancisCouple
over a year ago

North wex

Mr is a white light as he's an energy healer and radiates for others to absorb and share. Mrs also is a natural giver / radiator.

In our experience there's 3 main types of energy profiles....

1) energy sucker (drain) will leave a person depleted of energy and fatigued. Ironically they tend not to absorb the amount of energy robbed. So overall there's a loss of energy.

2) energy sharers when they meet another they share energy, aura mix. And both feel good. Amount of energy stays same but negative energy turns to positive. Overall energy is equal.

3) energy giver (radiates) when they meet a sharer they enhance energy thus increasing the overall amount of energy available in the first place. Overall energy is increased.

It's important that when low in energy that people ground themselves in nature and recharge themselves.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Sometimes life sucks but you gotta pick yourself up and get on with it.

Not always an easy thing to do but I refuse to be a drain on anyone. If I need a hug I am lucky in that I have family and a few good friends who I can rely on to do just that. And a fabber or 2

I went through a period where I was a radiator that was totally drained by a few people. Health suffered etc and lesson learned.

Do I get depressed? I don't know if I do but I do get thoughtful and try to understand why people act how they do at times but eventually realise its their issue not mine. During these times I step back, look at and appreciate the important things in life.

So now I am Sunshine and here to smile and make other people smile

"

Good morning sunshine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would consider myself to be a radiator, tho the odd time thr temperature gauge gets stuck and might need adjusting. I have been very lucky to have met up with a lot of fun people who I would also consider to be radiators especially the ones I am still in touch with. There have been one or two drainers, more like clogged up drains and just need a good poking to fix it. That last sentence sounded so much better in my head lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes life sucks but you gotta pick yourself up and get on with it.

Not always an easy thing to do but I refuse to be a drain on anyone. If I need a hug I am lucky in that I have family and a few good friends who I can rely on to do just that. And a fabber or 2

I went through a period where I was a radiator that was totally drained by a few people. Health suffered etc and lesson learned.

Do I get depressed? I don't know if I do but I do get thoughtful and try to understand why people act how they do at times but eventually realise its their issue not mine. During these times I step back, look at and appreciate the important things in life.

So now I am Sunshine and here to smile and make other people smile

Good morning sunshine

"

Good morning CJ

Glad I brought a smile to your face

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By *armel and FrancisCouple
over a year ago

North wex


"I would consider myself to be a radiator, tho the odd time thr temperature gauge gets stuck and might need adjusting. I have been very lucky to have met up with a lot of fun people who I would also consider to be radiators especially the ones I am still in touch with. There have been one or two drainers, more like clogged up drains and just need a good poking to fix it. That last sentence sounded so much better in my head lol

"

Makes perfect sense

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

I say most drains don't even know that's what they do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say most drains don't even know that's what they do"
So you might be a drain and not know your one.Lol

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Sometimes life sucks but you gotta pick yourself up and get on with it.

Not always an easy thing to do but I refuse to be a drain on anyone. If I need a hug I am lucky in that I have family and a few good friends who I can rely on to do just that. And a fabber or 2

I went through a period where I was a radiator that was totally drained by a few people. Health suffered etc and lesson learned.

Do I get depressed? I don't know if I do but I do get thoughtful and try to understand why people act how they do at times but eventually realise its their issue not mine. During these times I step back, look at and appreciate the important things in life.

So now I am Sunshine and here to smile and make other people smile

Good morning sunshine

Good morning CJ

Glad I brought a smile to your face "

A smile and alot more

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"No body is going to admit to being a drain. "

I bet I can drain you cj

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes life sucks but you gotta pick yourself up and get on with it.

Not always an easy thing to do but I refuse to be a drain on anyone. If I need a hug I am lucky in that I have family and a few good friends who I can rely on to do just that. And a fabber or 2

I went through a period where I was a radiator that was totally drained by a few people. Health suffered etc and lesson learned.

Do I get depressed? I don't know if I do but I do get thoughtful and try to understand why people act how they do at times but eventually realise its their issue not mine. During these times I step back, look at and appreciate the important things in life.

So now I am Sunshine and here to smile and make other people smile

Good morning sunshine

Good morning CJ

Glad I brought a smile to your face

A smile and alot more "

Do tell CJ

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out


"I say most drains don't even know that's what they do So you might be a drain and not know your one.Lol"

True and if you read my first post I admit to being a drain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say most drains don't even know that's what they do So you might be a drain and not know your one.Lol

True and if you read my first post I admit to being a drain "

Mental health can play a big role here.

Sometimes you can't just choose to be a drain or switch easily to be a radiator.

Hard to admit but without my meds at the moment I can be the worst drain person.

Alex

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I think we are all drains at somepoint in our lives. Its how we handle it. I've had a few knocks in the first half of this year that has knocked my confidence totally. My wall has gone up and i close up. Its the way i cope and eventually get through it. Socially you wouldnt even know im struggling so i hope when im in my drain mood i dont bring others down

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

cc hotel


"I haven't posted here for a while, with exception of my ladies night post

So,I'd like to share something with you all, if that is okay?

Fab has taken a back seat for me in recent few months for reasons which I'll not bore you with. This meant I

become more withdrawn, less engaged and less time for fab.

It funny but that time has made me have fresh eyes because of how people around me reacted. Some patient, some feeling hard done by.

I do believe now more than ever in the analogy that people fall into 2 camps ‘drains’ or ‘radiators' and would like to share this analogy with you

Radiators are those with a positive outlook who when you engage with,make you feel good. They’re usually happy in themselves, positive and confident and have a good level of perspective on life. They don't mind if you don’t use the heat they give off.  They don’t tend to worry what others think of them, and don’t gossip or judge others.

Drains are the opposite; they have a more negative outlook on life and there glass is always half empty. Engaging with them is hard work,leaving you emotionally drained. They are quick to judge and gossip about others.  They go on about their problems, and are self absorbed, zapping your energy.

Now there are periods and circumstances that even a radiator feels down, like myself. I didn't radiate happiness and I didn't want to be a drain either, so I disengaged, replying I was in bad form, not wanting to put my problems on them, not posting on forums etc.

So, anyway, do you recognise these personality traits? Do you drain or radiate?

By the way, this post is general observations, so please if anyone recognises this, it really does not mean this post is about you

From now on, I will be stepping over the drain and hugging a radiator

Definitely radiators have zero tolerance for drama or those who emit negative energy. Hope you're in a better place soon.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know folk of both personality types and folk who are a bit of column a and b

I'm definitely a radiator, i have an upbeat personality and like to make folk smile. I won't say i don't get down because we all do now n then but i prefer to keep my own counsel on that and not pull others down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was definitely a drain for a couple of years there.

My mental health hasn't been good over the last few years and I felt myself pulling away from people but also noticed people pulling away from me.

I got myself help and the fog has lifted on the most part.

I think Fab can be very draining on a person so I try to take breaks from it now to recharge and revaluate.

I definitely try to be much more positive these days.

I'd consider myself a radiator with occasional drain tendencies nowadays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven't posted here for a while, with exception of my ladies night post

So,I'd like to share something with you all, if that is okay?

Fab has taken a back seat for me in recent few months for reasons which I'll not bore you with. This meant I become more withdrawn, less engaged and less time for fab.

It funny but that time has made me have fresh eyes because of how people around me reacted. Some patient, some feeling hard done by.

I do believe now more than ever in the analogy that people fall into 2 camps ‘drains’ or ‘radiators' and would like to share this analogy with you

Radiators are those with a positive outlook who when you engage with,make you feel good. They’re usually happy in themselves, positive and confident and have a good level of perspective on life. They don't mind if you don’t use the heat they give off.  They don’t tend to worry what others think of them, and don’t gossip or judge others.

Drains are the opposite; they have a more negative outlook on life and there glass is always half empty. Engaging with them is hard work,leaving you emotionally drained. They are quick to judge and gossip about others.  They go on about their problems, and are self absorbed, zapping your energy.

Now there are periods and circumstances that even a radiator feels down, like myself. I didn't radiate happiness and I didn't want to be a drain either, so I disengaged, replying I was in bad form, not wanting to put my problems on them, not posting on forums etc.

So, anyway, do you recognise these personality traits? Do you drain or radiate?

By the way, this post is general observations, so please if anyone recognises this, it really does not mean this post is about you

From now on, I will be stepping over the drain and hugging a radiator

"

Hmmmmmm........ Ah my lovely lilred, I totally get where you are coming from in this one. You've had your trials over the recent past and needed a radiator and I think I might be hitting the nail on the head if I said I was your radiator during this time....not the only one mind you but hopefully the one that radiated most warmth for you and it was a pleasure giving you my warmth and feel good factor. Even though you needed my "warmth" you were never a drain.

There lies the key, we are all needy from time to time but being needy doesn't make us drains and a radiator providing warmth to another radiator on those stormy days is simply one friend helping another.

Drains on the other hand simply drain you until you've no warmth to give. Drains are the head fooks of our lives.....and should carry a "head fooker" warning lol.

Till we radiate again together lilred!

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By *jb_1980Man
over a year ago

limerick

Great forum post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm defo a radiator. A _aid back one at that

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By *otLips 69Woman
over a year ago

Here or There

Good perspective Red, but I can't see anyone admitting they are a drain, like you I'd much prefer to hug a radiator.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Ah my lovely lilred, I totally get where you are coming from in this one. You've had your trials over the recent past and needed a radiator and I think I might be hitting the nail on the head if I said I was your radiator during this time....not the only one mind you but hopefully the one that radiated most warmth for you and it was a pleasure giving you my warmth and feel good factor. Even though you needed my "warmth" you were never a drain.

There lies the key, we are all needy from time to time but being needy doesn't make us drains and a radiator providing warmth to another radiator on those stormy days is simply one friend helping another.

Drains on the other hand simply drain you until you've no warmth to give. Drains are the head fooks of our lives.....and should carry a "head fooker" warning lol.

Till we radiate again together lilred!"

Aww there he is, my good friend my wingman and my radiator over the last few months. Though your name MrArctic might suggest a coolness,I would defy anyone not to not feel warmth and happy around this gent from the silly random messages that bring a smile, till the craic in person. Thank you for being my radiator

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Glad this topic got you thinking and great responses.

Certainly makes me think more of the vibes I send out both off and on fab

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By *rs Pink PantherWoman
over a year ago

The Darkest Side


"I haven't posted here for a while, with exception of my ladies night post

So,I'd like to share something with you all, if that is okay?

Fab has taken a back seat for me in recent few months for reasons which I'll not bore you with. This meant I become more withdrawn, less engaged and less time for fab.

It funny but that time has made me have fresh eyes because of how people around me reacted. Some patient, some feeling hard done by.

I do believe now more than ever in the analogy that people fall into 2 camps ‘drains’ or ‘radiators' and would like to share this analogy with you

Radiators are those with a positive outlook who when you engage with,make you feel good. They’re usually happy in themselves, positive and confident and have a good level of perspective on life. They don't mind if you don’t use the heat they give off.  They don’t tend to worry what others think of them, and don’t gossip or judge others.

Drains are the opposite; they have a more negative outlook on life and there glass is always half empty. Engaging with them is hard work,leaving you emotionally drained. They are quick to judge and gossip about others.  They go on about their problems, and are self absorbed, zapping your energy.

Now there are periods and circumstances that even a radiator feels down, like myself. I didn't radiate happiness and I didn't want to be a drain either, so I disengaged, replying I was in bad form, not wanting to put my problems on them, not posting on forums etc.

So, anyway, do you recognise these personality traits? Do you drain or radiate?

By the way, this post is general observations, so please if anyone recognises this, it really does not mean this post is about you

From now on, I will be stepping over the drain and hugging a radiator

Hmmmmmm........ Ah my lovely lilred, I totally get where you are coming from in this one. You've had your trials over the recent past and needed a radiator and I think I might be hitting the nail on the head if I said I was your radiator during this time....not the only one mind you but hopefully the one that radiated most warmth for you and it was a pleasure giving you my warmth and feel good factor. Even though you needed my "warmth" you were never a drain.

There lies the key, we are all needy from time to time but being needy doesn't make us drains and a radiator providing warmth to another radiator on those stormy days is simply one friend helping another.

Drains on the other hand simply drain you until you've no warmth to give. Drains are the head fooks of our lives.....and should carry a "head fooker" warning lol.

Till we radiate again together lilred!"

Awwww cute much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say most drains don't even know that's what they do So you might be a drain and not know your one.Lol

True and if you read my first post I admit to being a drain "

Ever tried cillit bang...

Bet it would clear your drain right up

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By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago

kinkville

I always thought there were 3 personality types. Pusses, ducks and assholes.

Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.

From Team America.

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