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Tinder acquittal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So the jury acquits because it was her evidence against his.

What the jury didn't know was he was already convicted of r.ape and assault and is presently in jail for assault.

Horrifying and scary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am unsure if I understand. Was it a case of he says she says or was there an evidence presented? If it is she says he says case, why would anybody be convicted without hard proof of a crime? We are all equal in the eye of the law and things should stay that way.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Well I don't know all the evidence but I really thought that lady was hard done bye the law . On a first date having sex. He did not sound much of a gent did he .

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out


"Well I don't know all the evidence but I really thought that lady was hard done bye the law . On a first date having sex. He did not sound much of a gent did he . "

whats wrong with having sex on the first date ??? is it not lady like or something ?

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

I don't know all the facts but if he has previously been convicted of assault, that's something that I think should have been raised.

However, I think what made the jury find in his favour was the fact that within a few hours of the supposed assault, she was back on Tinder chatting up other guys. Not the typical actions of a victim I would surmise.

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"So the jury acquits because it was her evidence against his.

What the jury didn't know was he was already convicted of r.ape and assault and is presently in jail for assault.

Horrifying and scary "

She gave reasonable doubt to the jury in her actions Tom. She messaged the guy saying she was horny. She met him for coffee and agreed to go for a spin in his car.He expected sex and she knew that, but didnt walk away from him during the coffee or say no thanks to getting into his car.She also said afterwards that she was terrified of him If she was terrified of him, why did she get into the car to leave herself vulnerable?

You can see where im going with this and regardless of his previous convictions, the jury were left with no other choice than to acquit on this one.

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By *oupleuncutCouple
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

The justice system can be really flawed a times, they cannot bring up previous charges as it could prejudice the jury. No man or woman deserves to be assaulted regardless of what they were wearing,sexual reputation, if they were d*unk etc. My heart goes out to any victim of a violent crime, it's a long tedious process and you are open to so much ridicule, there really are no winners x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The justice system can be really flawed a times, they cannot bring up previous charges as it could prejudice the jury. No man or woman deserves to be assaulted regardless of what they were wearing,sexual reputation, if they were d*unk etc. My heart goes out to any victim of a violent crime, it's a long tedious process and you are open to so much ridicule, there really are no winners x "

Couldn't have said it better myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I don't know all the evidence but I really thought that lady was hard done bye the law . On a first date having sex. He did not sound much of a gent did he .

whats wrong with having sex on the first date ??? is it not lady like or something ?"

I thought i was transported back to the 1950's when i seen the no sex on a first date remark...each to there own i say, if a woman wants to have sex on a first date then she should be allowed with no judgment...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think it's unfair. Her "behaviour " afterwards was brought up as evidence of her "character" . Proof as it was that she was up for sex. That's fair enough.

But his character was hidden. If the jury got to see her character surely they should know he was a convicted rapist and thug?

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By *xplicitlyricsMan
over a year ago

south dublin


"Well I don't know all the evidence but I really thought that lady was hard done bye the law . On a first date having sex. He did not sound much of a gent did he .

whats wrong with having sex on the first date ??? is it not lady like or something ?

I thought i was transported back to the 1950's when i seen the no sex on a first date remark...each to there own i say, if a woman wants to have sex on a first date then she should be allowed with no judgment..."

Well ladies dont want sex until the 46th date at least and it would be ungentlemanly not to respect a ladies chastity. Who knows what their chaperone made of all this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I don't know all the evidence but I really thought that lady was hard done bye the law . On a first date having sex. He did not sound much of a gent did he .

whats wrong with having sex on the first date ??? is it not lady like or something ?

I thought i was transported back to the 1950's when i seen the no sex on a first date remark...each to there own i say, if a woman wants to have sex on a first date then she should be allowed with no judgment...

Well ladies dont want sex until the 46th date at least and it would be ungentlemanly not to respect a ladies chastity. Who knows what their chaperone made of all this!"

Pmsl

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth

It kinda frightens me meeting women now..could meet a nutjob that would falsely accuse you of sexual assault very easily and your life could be ruined..I think he was the victim in this case notice how he shouted abuse at the gardai when he was acquitted ..leads me to believe that he was stitched up by a garda and the woman was in on it..could be a personal grudge

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By *xplicitlyricsMan
over a year ago

south dublin


"It kinda frightens me meeting women now..could meet a nutjob that would falsely accuse you of sexual assault very easily and your life could be ruined..I think he was the victim in this case notice how he shouted abuse at the gardai when he was acquitted ..leads me to believe that he was stitched up by a garda and the woman was in on it..could be a personal grudge "

Thats a pretty wild conspiracy theory with no basis in fact. Your saying that a garda had a grudge, the garda somehow knew this guy was on tinder, would swipe right on this girl and want to meet, the girl was in on it and was willing to meet, be alone with and have sex with a convicted rapist and then after going through all that they didnt bother to proceed in a way that would guarantee a conviction? She didnt call the garda straight away to finish the "stitch up"?

If you believe this was a garda conspiracy then Ive got a nice bridge over the liffey to sell you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It kinda frightens me meeting women now..could meet a nutjob that would falsely accuse you of sexual assault very easily and your life could be ruined..I think he was the victim in this case notice how he shouted abuse at the gardai when he was acquitted ..leads me to believe that he was stitched up by a garda and the woman was in on it..could be a personal grudge

Thats a pretty wild conspiracy theory with no basis in fact. Your saying that a garda had a grudge, the garda somehow knew this guy was on tinder, would swipe right on this girl and want to meet, the girl was in on it and was willing to meet, be alone with and have sex with a convicted rapist and then after going through all that they didnt bother to proceed in a way that would guarantee a conviction? She didnt call the garda straight away to finish the "stitch up"?

If you believe this was a garda conspiracy then Ive got a nice bridge over the liffey to sell you."

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was "

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The jury heard every detail of her character but didn't see his. They were left to decide whether to believe a girl who was on tinder or this "poor unfortunate " who wanted a quick shag and she turned nasty.

If they knew he had convictions for r.ape and assault. If they had seen him fuck abuse at police when this temper gave up?

Then whose version of events would they believe?

Put it another way. Are you suggesting a person male or female gives up their right to say no just because they met off tinder?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't know the whole story, and certainly aren't privy to everything that was said in court. All we can do is have faith that the system got it right.

As to her character - we have no idea what her past relationships were and how they effected her subsequent behaviour. She could have been telling the truth, or not.

Same can be said of the lad - although with an already documented history of past abuses, it's easier to pigeon hole him.

All I'm saying is that none of us know all the angles. Shouldn't we refrain from passing further judgement, after all we aren't the jury. That ship has sailed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not so sure about the decision in that case...

To me it seemed the victim was definitely pressured into something she wasn't comfortable with in the first place... IMO If someone says no the first time sexual behaviour escalates - regardless if they had been kissing, or if she/he expected to hit it off and have sex - I think it's a bit aggressive to try turn their mind around... A lady with more self confidence may have been able to walk away but in this case a lack of self esteem may have made her just give in ?

Moral of the story.... ladies and gents, never get into cars with strange men from the internet !! Safety first always!

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"The jury heard every detail of her character but didn't see his. They were left to decide whether to believe a girl who was on tinder or this "poor unfortunate " who wanted a quick shag and she turned nasty.

If they knew he had convictions for r.ape and assault. If they had seen him fuck abuse at police when this temper gave up?

Then whose version of events would they believe?

Put it another way. Are you suggesting a person male or female gives up their right to say no just because they met off tinder?"

Im suggesting no such thing Tom. What im saying is she had ample time not to continue on with the date. Her biggest mistake was getting into the car in the first place. Women are very good at using their intuition and if she felt uneasy or scared, why did she go along with him? Everybody has a right to say no at any given time.

Sadly,there were so many factors stacked against her that the jury had to find him not guilty.

Im not condoning this guy in any way and i do believe he is a scumbag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's unfair. Her "behaviour " afterwards was brought up as evidence of her "character" . Proof as it was that she was up for sex. That's fair enough.

But his character was hidden. If the jury got to see her character surely they should know he was a convicted rapist and thug?"

I would agree.

If someone has previously good character it can be brought up.

I don't understand why a scumbag can't be called what he is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am unsure if I understand. Was it a case of he says she says or was there an evidence presented? If it is she says he says case, why would anybody be convicted without hard proof of a crime? We are all equal in the eye of the law and things should stay that way."

What evidence would you like? Genuinely curious. A video of the sexual assault ? Because semen can come from consensual sex so help me clarify this.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"It kinda frightens me meeting women now..could meet a nutjob that would falsely accuse you of sexual assault very easily and your life could be ruined..I think he was the victim in this case notice how he shouted abuse at the gardai when he was acquitted ..leads me to believe that he was stitched up by a garda and the woman was in on it..could be a personal grudge

Thats a pretty wild conspiracy theory with no basis in fact. Your saying that a garda had a grudge, the garda somehow knew this guy was on tinder, would swipe right on this girl and want to meet, the girl was in on it and was willing to meet, be alone with and have sex with a convicted rapist and then after going through all that they didnt bother to proceed in a way that would guarantee a conviction? She didnt call the garda straight away to finish the "stitch up"?

If you believe this was a garda conspiracy then Ive got a nice bridge over the liffey to sell you."

They were probably monitoring his phone..They have the technology to watch what hes doing very easily ..dont be so innocent to believe that gardai are saints who wouldnt stitch people up they do it all the time..If a copper has a personal grudge against you he'll get you one way or the other might take 20 years but they'll get you ..thats what they are like..I know that from personal experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty. "

I've been r@ped. I didn't report it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And frankly, I'm glad I didn't. Imagine having to explain all of this.

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

I've been r@ped. I didn't report it. "

Lord im so sorry to hear that Julia! I understand that women go into shock and dont think clearly afterwards. Im not saying the guy didnt r@pe her. Im saying she couldnt prove to the jury that she was r@ped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you prove it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuinely, that's not me being facetious. How does one prove they've been r@ped?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuinely, that's not me being facetious. How does one prove they've been r@ped? "

DNA, tearing, bruising etcetera

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's the problem. Every little shit bag is now wanking off with excitement at this because it will scare victims into saying nothing. Past mistakes? This piece of piss after the acquittal went back to jail to serve the rest of his current sentence for assault. He's been beating and raping since he was a teenager apparently.

And he deserves the benefit of the doubt?

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Genuinely, that's not me being facetious. How does one prove they've been r@ped? "

Forensic testing used as evidence for the victim id imagine. Swabs for semen and bodily fluids..marks on the body, abrasions etc.

I can understand why women dont report it straight away or report it at all because of further trauma involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuinely, that's not me being facetious. How does one prove they've been r@ped?

Forensic testing used as evidence for the victim id imagine. Swabs for semen and bodily fluids..marks on the body, abrasions etc.

I can understand why women dont report it straight away or report it at all because of further trauma involved."

Everything you've mentioned can come from consensual sex. So again, how does one prove r@pe? It genuinely does boil down to he said, she said. Unless there's video or witnesses.

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"And frankly, I'm glad I didn't. Imagine having to explain all of this."

I'm so so sorry to hear that and I can totally understand why you wouldn't report it.. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Case has to be heard based on evidence at hand. Sure the history would have put him down if it was disclosed but also you could have an innocent found guilty. The plaintiff will feel justice has not been served.

Sounds like he has the capacity to create trouble on an ongoing basis and things will not end well for him regardless.

L

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"Genuinely, that's not me being facetious. How does one prove they've been r@ped?

Forensic testing used as evidence for the victim id imagine. Swabs for semen and bodily fluids..marks on the body, abrasions etc.

I can understand why women dont report it straight away or report it at all because of further trauma involved.

Everything you've mentioned can come from consensual sex. So again, how does one prove r@pe? It genuinely does boil down to he said, she said. Unless there's video or witnesses."

Cant be proven beyond reasonable doubt then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. No r@pe can be proven without video or witnesses. So if you go and report it, the only thing that will happen is that your life gets destroyed and the person who did it will likely walk out of the court free. And people continue to be surprised that it isn't reported?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sad story...

My idea of keeping yourself safe is not asking did she say no but just ask did she says yes...

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By *unnitoesWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"Really sad story...

My idea of keeping yourself safe is not asking did she say no but just ask did she says yes...

"

Or did she even say anything?....awful awful story

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By *xplicitlyricsMan
over a year ago

south dublin


"It kinda frightens me meeting women now..could meet a nutjob that would falsely accuse you of sexual assault very easily and your life could be ruined..I think he was the victim in this case notice how he shouted abuse at the gardai when he was acquitted ..leads me to believe that he was stitched up by a garda and the woman was in on it..could be a personal grudge

Thats a pretty wild conspiracy theory with no basis in fact. Your saying that a garda had a grudge, the garda somehow knew this guy was on tinder, would swipe right on this girl and want to meet, the girl was in on it and was willing to meet, be alone with and have sex with a convicted rapist and then after going through all that they didnt bother to proceed in a way that would guarantee a conviction? She didnt call the garda straight away to finish the "stitch up"?

If you believe this was a garda conspiracy then Ive got a nice bridge over the liffey to sell you.

They were probably monitoring his phone..They have the technology to watch what hes doing very easily ..dont be so innocent to believe that gardai are saints who wouldnt stitch people up they do it all the time..If a copper has a personal grudge against you he'll get you one way or the other might take 20 years but they'll get you ..thats what they are like..I know that from personal experience "

And how would they monitor his phone without a court order and the compliance of the phone companies?

This was not a set up, theres no evidence of a set up, theres no believable theory that this was a set up. Youve stretched credibility beyond reasonable limits here.

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By *osmicGateMan
over a year ago

louth


"It kinda frightens me meeting women now..could meet a nutjob that would falsely accuse you of sexual assault very easily and your life could be ruined..I think he was the victim in this case notice how he shouted abuse at the gardai when he was acquitted ..leads me to believe that he was stitched up by a garda and the woman was in on it..could be a personal grudge

Thats a pretty wild conspiracy theory with no basis in fact. Your saying that a garda had a grudge, the garda somehow knew this guy was on tinder, would swipe right on this girl and want to meet, the girl was in on it and was willing to meet, be alone with and have sex with a convicted rapist and then after going through all that they didnt bother to proceed in a way that would guarantee a conviction? She didnt call the garda straight away to finish the "stitch up"?

If you believe this was a garda conspiracy then Ive got a nice bridge over the liffey to sell you.

They were probably monitoring his phone..They have the technology to watch what hes doing very easily ..dont be so innocent to believe that gardai are saints who wouldnt stitch people up they do it all the time..If a copper has a personal grudge against you he'll get you one way or the other might take 20 years but they'll get you ..thats what they are like..I know that from personal experience

And how would they monitor his phone without a court order and the compliance of the phone companies?

This was not a set up, theres no evidence of a set up, theres no believable theory that this was a set up. Youve stretched credibility beyond reasonable limits here."

You dont need a court order to monitor somebodies phone..the phone company are legally obliged to cooperate with any investigating garda..They just need to say this guy is a criminal and they'll turn over whatever info they have including phone numbers and messages..I know somebody whos previous conquests from a dating site were approached by gardai and asked if they would help them build a case against this person by making false allegations of sexual assault..now im done talking to you ..I know its difficult to see things from other peoples perspective but these things happen as mad as it sounds i know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Genuinely, that's not me being facetious. How does one prove they've been r@ped?

Forensic testing used as evidence for the victim id imagine. Swabs for semen and bodily fluids..marks on the body, abrasions etc.

I can understand why women dont report it straight away or report it at all because of further trauma involved.

Everything you've mentioned can come from consensual sex. So again, how does one prove r@pe? It genuinely does boil down to he said, she said. Unless there's video or witnesses."

It works both ways.

How does an innocent person prove their innocence?

Terrible place to be on either side

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"Exactly. No r@pe can be proven without video or witnesses. So if you go and report it, the only thing that will happen is that your life gets destroyed and the person who did it will likely walk out of the court free. And people continue to be surprised that it isn't reported? "

Your right the emphasis is on the victim to prove she /he didn't willing have sex the only way is to report the incident asap, to give the authorities ample time to collect as much evidence as possible. I also have to question how we alow previous convictions for such heinous crimes not be mentioned and let the perpetrators of such crime prove they have corrected their way

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Its a very serious issue and being on a site like this, it's crucial to take precautions when you meet someone first. There are some very useful tips on the site: https://m.fabswingers.com/articles/faq#safe_meeting

I might add:

Always listen to your gut feeling

Don't get d*unk

Stay safe ladies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its a very serious issue and being on a site like this, it's crucial to take precautions when you meet someone first. There are some very useful tips on the site: https://m.fabswingers.com/articles/faq#safe_meeting

I might add:

Always listen to your gut feeling

Don't get d*unk

Stay safe ladies! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty. "

I didn't realise that every victim of a crime would always act in the exact same manner and how society would deem fit. People react to trauma very differently and I don't think her reactions are that strange.

It's actually quite common for people who have been victims of crime to carry on as if it didn't happen. Same as how some people react to someone close to them dying. Everyone is different and there isn't a one size fits all.

It's ridiculous how his previous behaviour cannot be brought up to prejudice a jury but her actions after the incident can be.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

I didn't realise that every victim of a crime would always act in the exact same manner and how society would deem fit. People react to trauma very differently and I don't think her reactions are that strange.

It's actually quite common for people who have been victims of crime to carry on as if it didn't happen. Same as how some people react to someone close to them dying. Everyone is different and there isn't a one size fits all.

It's ridiculous how his previous behaviour cannot be brought up to prejudice a jury but her actions after the incident can be. "

Exactly.......whose to know what some of you are saying went through her head at the time.

"I was on tinder....i deserved it"

"I got in the car...i deserved it"

......etc

It might not have sunk in or register at the time that it did happen.

No one knows how they will react unless they have been in the same situation.

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By *onedbodMan
over a year ago

co Galway

The scumbag had previous for the same crime and they let him get away with it in this case! Terrible for the woman to see the scumbag who did that to her not to get punished severely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

I didn't realise that every victim of a crime would always act in the exact same manner and how society would deem fit. People react to trauma very differently and I don't think her reactions are that strange.

It's actually quite common for people who have been victims of crime to carry on as if it didn't happen. Same as how some people react to someone close to them dying. Everyone is different and there isn't a one size fits all.

It's ridiculous how his previous behaviour cannot be brought up to prejudice a jury but her actions after the incident can be.

Exactly.......whose to know what some of you are saying went through her head at the time.

"I was on tinder....i deserved it"

"I got in the car...i deserved it"

......etc

It might not have sunk in or register at the time that it did happen.

No one knows how they will react unless they have been in the same situation. "

Exactly this. After I was r@ped, it took me 9 months to process internally. Only then did it hit me what had happened. I also never reported it. I thought (and still think) there'd be no point because of the time that had past.

My heart breaks for the poor girl and I hope she can get all the help she needs to get through this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

I didn't realise that every victim of a crime would always act in the exact same manner and how society would deem fit. People react to trauma very differently and I don't think her reactions are that strange.

It's actually quite common for people who have been victims of crime to carry on as if it didn't happen. Same as how some people react to someone close to them dying. Everyone is different and there isn't a one size fits all.

It's ridiculous how his previous behaviour cannot be brought up to prejudice a jury but her actions after the incident can be.

Exactly.......whose to know what some of you are saying went through her head at the time.

"I was on tinder....i deserved it"

"I got in the car...i deserved it"

......etc

It might not have sunk in or register at the time that it did happen.

No one knows how they will react unless they have been in the same situation.

Exactly this. After I was r@ped, it took me 9 months to process internally. Only then did it hit me what had happened. I also never reported it. I thought (and still think) there'd be no point because of the time that had past.

My heart breaks for the poor girl and I hope she can get all the help she needs to get through this"

I hear you. Imagine going through all of that and watching your r@pist walk free. And people looking at you and thinking you're a liar. Looking at your sexual history, over analysing your actions which is akin to asking "well, what were you wearing?" To the men and women who haven't reported r@pe, I understand why too. It's just not worth the risk. It's sad, but true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

I didn't realise that every victim of a crime would always act in the exact same manner and how society would deem fit. People react to trauma very differently and I don't think her reactions are that strange.

It's actually quite common for people who have been victims of crime to carry on as if it didn't happen. Same as how some people react to someone close to them dying. Everyone is different and there isn't a one size fits all.

It's ridiculous how his previous behaviour cannot be brought up to prejudice a jury but her actions after the incident can be.

Exactly.......whose to know what some of you are saying went through her head at the time.

"I was on tinder....i deserved it"

"I got in the car...i deserved it"

......etc

It might not have sunk in or register at the time that it did happen.

No one knows how they will react unless they have been in the same situation.

Exactly this. After I was r@ped, it took me 9 months to process internally. Only then did it hit me what had happened. I also never reported it. I thought (and still think) there'd be no point because of the time that had past.

My heart breaks for the poor girl and I hope she can get all the help she needs to get through this

I hear you. Imagine going through all of that and watching your r@pist walk free. And people looking at you and thinking you're a liar. Looking at your sexual history, over analysing your actions which is akin to asking "well, what were you wearing?" To the men and women who haven't reported r@pe, I understand why too. It's just not worth the risk. It's sad, but true."

I feel for you two ladies. Big hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fine now, I was fucked up for a while. But I still love a big hug! So thank you. Plus, it's refreshing to be able to talk about it as it's not ideal dinner party conversation.

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"He carefully and calculating thanked the jury...

When they left he started shouting abuse at the police.

He kept up a pretence of been a reasonable guy as an act to get himself acquitted.

I have no doubt the jury members were physically sick when they realised what a scum bag he was

Scumbag most probably but does being a scumbag mean hes guilty? If the jury knew of his past crimes would he automatically be found guilty of this one then?

The jury listened to her evidence not once but twice, and obviously found it didnt add up. Why didnt she report it to the gardai straight away and be taken for treatment in the r@pe trauma unit? She went home, told her flatmate she had the worst date ever with no mention of r@pe, and was then back on tinder chatting to other guys a few hours later.

If you were a juror and heard that, what would your view be?

Because of these factors, the jury had no choice but to find him not guilty.

I didn't realise that every victim of a crime would always act in the exact same manner and how society would deem fit. People react to trauma very differently and I don't think her reactions are that strange.

It's actually quite common for people who have been victims of crime to carry on as if it didn't happen. Same as how some people react to someone close to them dying. Everyone is different and there isn't a one size fits all.

It's ridiculous how his previous behaviour cannot be brought up to prejudice a jury but her actions after the incident can be.

Exactly.......whose to know what some of you are saying went through her head at the time.

"I was on tinder....i deserved it"

"I got in the car...i deserved it"

......etc

It might not have sunk in or register at the time that it did happen.

No one knows how they will react unless they have been in the same situation.

Exactly this. After I was r@ped, it took me 9 months to process internally. Only then did it hit me what had happened. I also never reported it. I thought (and still think) there'd be no point because of the time that had past.

My heart breaks for the poor girl and I hope she can get all the help she needs to get through this

I hear you. Imagine going through all of that and watching your r@pist walk free. And people looking at you and thinking you're a liar. Looking at your sexual history, over analysing your actions which is akin to asking "well, what were you wearing?" To the men and women who haven't reported r@pe, I understand why too. It's just not worth the risk. It's sad, but true."

Ladies, until the system stops failing the victims it will continue. The courts seek cold hard facts and evidence with no emotion involved. As much as it pains to me to say it, the likes of him will get away with it because he can.

I wish you both well and think youre very courageous for speaking out on this thread xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The intention of what I've said is not to be emotive. Facts are facts. They're just impossible to prove so why bother. It is not so much a sistemic failure of the justice system(of which I can not comment as I've never used it) but an examination of a situation where two people say something and no matter the verdict, the victim loses. So why bother? False accusations have affected everyone as have acquittals of guilty parties. The whole situation is a no win situation. What it boils down to is the fact that the only cause of r@pe is r@pists. Let's stop telling men and women how to not get r@ped- i.e. Clothes, drinking, tinder, fab, etc and start explaining consent and respect to everyone.

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