FabSwingers.com forum: Being the nice guy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

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By *eebawMan
over a year ago

Id like hear the womens opinion on here defo .... I have been told I'm too nice in general but its nature of my job . But it hasnt done me any favours relationship wise more heart ace if anything ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself kears , that's the most important thing . If they don't like you well than that's their problem xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat em mean, keep em keen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their alot to be said for being nice and although the bad boy is fun I prefer a nice guy any day. I'm nice in general but like everyone I have my points where you just don't cross.

Personally I prefer nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kaizer is both....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sure who ever knows me from socials knows I'm pretty much the same on here too bar I can express my cheeky side more in public. But after lastnight I don't know what to make of this place anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread... i've found that the nicer you are in a friendship or relationship, the more you suffer and the worse you are treated if the friendship/relationship collapses . Maybe the females of today prefer the tougher type guy who doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve and keeps hus emotions to himself or Maybe this is to do with the rise of women power and females being more assertive and authoritarian.... thats my opinion. Females please feel free to rip me apart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sure who ever knows me from socials knows I'm pretty much the same on here too bar I can express my cheeky side more in public. But after lastnight I don't know what to make of this place anymore

What happened last night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sure who ever knows me from socials knows I'm pretty much the same on here too bar I can express my cheeky side more in public. But after lastnight I don't know what to make of this place anymore

What happened last night?

He's a big Fenerbache fan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sure who ever knows me from socials knows I'm pretty much the same on here too bar I can express my cheeky side more in public. But after lastnight I don't know what to make of this place anymore

What happened last night?

He's a big Fenerbache fan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself Kearman. Trust me you're perfect the way you are and if anyone thinks any different they are just assholes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And in answer to your question I like guys to be themselves and not tell me all the shit they think women need to hear to get into bed. Be confident about who you are. It shows and it's very attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What makes a bad boy? & (seriously) why would someone be looking for one & not avoiding them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People continually seem to mistake poor boundaries for "being nice", then getting resentful when they end up being walked over/abused/having their feelings ignored.

Just saying....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People continually seem to mistake poor boundaries for "being nice", then getting resentful when they end up being walked over/abused/having their feelings ignored.

Just saying...."

I know right?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

I thought you had just the right mix of both

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Personality wise ..You can be anything you wish to be ... However it's very difficult to maintain a character that isn't you.. the old saying 'leopards don't change their spots ..'

Be yourself .. Be the best at being yourself..

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway. Now FAB ladies, not saying that all women are like this but there are a few like that and it's not nice to guys who make the effort...

Best is to treat others the way you'd like to be treated, be your charming and playful self and if she ever says "I'm disastrous with men" in casual conversation, know that those are not idle words... Ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway."

So being "nice" entitles you to sex?

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway.

So being "nice" entitles you to sex?"

According to who does "Nice" entitle you to anything? I never said that

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By *rdinaryladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Great question OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway.

So being "nice" entitles you to sex?

According to who does "Nice" entitle you to anything? I never said that "

Your implication is that women are somehow in the wrong declining a "nice" guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat others how they treat you simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you get the combination on par your on to a winner ...... for me anyways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

Kerms you need to cum to Geordie for some tlc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like nice guys, but not pushovers, I like a challenge and mostly I like a guy who's not afraid to put me in my place.

I guess i like a mixed bag!

Anyone here fit that description?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like nice guys, but not pushovers, I like a challenge and mostly I like a guy who's not afraid to put me in my place.

I guess i like a mixed bag!

Anyone here fit that description?

Yeah, but I got him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my opinion for what it's worth, being nice or being bad has little to do with most outcomes in life, be it on here in work and real life meaningful relationships, knowing your values and where your boundaries are is the keys to achieving what you want and avoiding the things you don't! Once you know your values you need to ensure you align your self worth with these and if the people the things or the environment don't match those it's time to move on, I've found doing this helps me massively as some people have said be yourself and if people don't like it, that's fine because the people who do like it will soon find you,

Apologies for such a long post, I'm Chris by the way,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like nice guys, but not pushovers, I like a challenge and mostly I like a guy who's not afraid to put me in my place.

I guess i like a mixed bag!

Anyone here fit that description?

Yeah, but I got him.

Biatch

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By *ohn MingoMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway.

So being "nice" entitles you to sex?

According to who does "Nice" entitle you to anything? I never said that

Your implication is that women are somehow in the wrong declining a "nice" guy."

Exactly this. Guys complain about not getting anywhere with women and saying "but I'm a nice guy"

No. That's not what it's about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be a fundamentally good person but don't be a "nice guy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What defines too nice though?

Yeah, I will admit I like cheeky guys. I'll remember a cheeky message more over a "Hey, how's your day? you look great" kinda message. ALthough there's a fine like with being cheeky and being a prick. I like to think I have a good gut instinct though.... Sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't play "The nice guy". You'll be friend zoned by message 5.

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By *ohn MingoMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Don't play "The nice guy". You'll be friend zoned by message 5.

The friend zone doesn't exist. Not in my opinion.

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By *ohn MingoMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"What defines too nice though?

. "

As I like to say, there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway.

So being "nice" entitles you to sex?

According to who does "Nice" entitle you to anything? I never said that

Your implication is that women are somehow in the wrong declining a "nice" guy.

Exactly this. Guys complain about not getting anywhere with women and saying "but I'm a nice guy"

No. That's not what it's about "
so what are you saying don't be nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't play "The nice guy". You'll be friend zoned by message 5.

The friend zone doesn't exist. Not in my opinion. "

You keep telling yourself that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a nice guy with some cheekiness not an arrogant prick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a nice guy with some cheekiness not an arrogant prick

Touchê!;)

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

I like nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People continually seem to mistake poor boundaries for "being nice", then getting resentful when they end up being walked over/abused/having their feelings ignored.

Just saying...."

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By *rdinaryladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"I like nice

Nice guys can't mail you

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"I like nice

Nice guys can't mail you

Lol.. I blocked men.... you can thank the wankers for that X

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By *rdinaryladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"I like nice

Nice guys can't mail you

Lol.. I blocked men.... you can thank the wankers for that X "

Them wankers have an awful lot to answer for

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"I like nice

Nice guys can't mail you

Lol.. I blocked men.... you can thank the wankers for that X

Them wankers have an awful lot to answer for

Lol.. yep

Was that guy talking to me ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway. Now FAB ladies, not saying that all women are like this but there are a few like that and it's not nice to guys who make the effort...

Are you talking about literally getting up in the middle of a coffee meet and walking off? That's how I read it but I don't think anyone else has....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should just be themselves. If you're a nice person naturally just be that person, don't try to be a bad boy because you think that gets you laid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should just be themselves. If you're a nice person naturally just be that person, don't try to be a bad boy because you think that gets you laid.

I like good boys who do what I tell them to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with just being yourself. Yes bad boys have their attraction. But nice guys win in the end in my opinion

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway. (Me)

So being "nice"entitles you to sex?(You)

According to who does "Nice" entitle you to anything? I never said that (Me)

Your implication is that women are somehow in the wrong declining a "nice" guy."
(You)

--------------------------------------

"Entitles" and "Implications" Love it when you just jump straight to the topic of sex, whip out your big thesaurus, talk dirty and tease me with that big loaded question Dr Freud

Now, can you just say the word "presupposition" in a nice sexy french accent for me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You chat, have a laugh and fun yet treat women with respect. However SOME will just decide to up and walk anyway. (Me)

So being "nice"entitles you to sex?(You)

According to who does "Nice" entitle you to anything? I never said that (Me)

Your implication is that women are somehow in the wrong declining a "nice" guy. (You)

--------------------------------------

"Entitles" and "Implications" Love it when you just jump straight to the topic of sex, whip out your big thesaurus, talk dirty and tease me with that big loaded question Dr Freud

Now, can you just say the word "presupposition" in a nice sexy french accent for me?

Well shame on me with my dirty mind, there I was thinking you're only here to "break beds".

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

In my opinion bold doesn't get you anywhere. It just comes across as pushy and cocky. It's self-confidence and manners that does it for me. And btw anything that is pretend will be revealed eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a gentleman by nature.but I can be a very naughty gentleman and an extremely hard core party animal.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

"In my opinion bold doesn't get you anywhere. It just comes across as pushy and cocky. It's self-confidence and manners that does it for me. And btw anything that is pretend will be revealed eventually. "

* bad not bold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be yourself.

I think I'm a nice guy. I'm polite and friendly but I'm not going to be anyone's clown. I treat others as they treat me. I dont behave that way because i think thats what people want me to be. I behave that way because thats how i behave.

The important thing is that people will know if you are not being genuine. If you try to put on a bad guy persona they will distance themselves from you because it's hollow.

Be yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Don't over think it.

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

Just be yourself.

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Well shame on me with my dirty mind, there I was thinking you're only here to "break beds"."

I do break beds, but I usually have a good sledgehammer with me...

Seriously though, earlier I was talking in general male-female relationship terms, while you were a little less coy and talking directly about sex. If so, all good and have yourself a great weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* bad not bold "

You taking my name in vain?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Well shame on me with my dirty mind, there I was thinking you're only here to "break beds"."

I do break beds, but I usually have a good sledgehammer with me...

Seriously though, earlier I was talking in general male-female relationship terms, while you were a little less coy and talking directly about sex. If so, all good and have yourself a great weekend

And the point remains the same, simply being "nice" doesn't entitle the person or oblige the other party.

You have a good weekend too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a difference between cocky and arrogance, all about balance, being nice is how all should be without being fake. The truth wins out in the end, if you're an asshole, it will show eventually and you'll be known as that, word of mouth spreads quickly... and the ladies of fab are experts spotters of fakers

just my own opinion ????

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

* bad not bold

You taking my name in vain?

I did correct myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

Being too nice for too long on here is a turn off for me.

I'm a straight talker and like the guy to be too. So if it's not gonna happen soon after the chemistry is revealed its unlikely to ever happen.

Having said that almost all the guys I've played with have been decent and respectful.

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By *ohn MingoMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Don't play "The nice guy". You'll be friend zoned by message 5.

The friend zone doesn't exist. Not in my opinion.

You keep telling yourself that

It doesn't. but not for the reason you think

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By *hristian GingerMan
over a year ago

Th'on place over yonder

Be yourself and be proud of who you are - why try to be anything less unique?

It's not about being nice or bad, and being either doesn't entitle you to anything other than who you've attracted by being you....

I know I'm a nice guy, I was brought up, not dragged up - I'll hold doors, offer seats, etc etc - hell, I'll even give a pretty lady a flower

but I know I'm also a mischievous fucker too

I'll talk dirty to you as you pass through the door I just held open for you....

Be you and fuck all else who doesn't align with YOU!! - don't live YOUR life for OTHERS

Christian Ginger is

Chaotic Good

___

____

___

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gent in the street is all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gent in the street is all

Perfect answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the messages. Well those who have met me before know what I'm like, il always be my true self anywhere if it's here or in public, a nice baby-faced cheeky fucker that loves the craic and has that naughty look in his eye.

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By *eghannWoman
over a year ago

Waterford/Wexford

100's of nice guys on here , the thin veil of nice vanishes the minute you say No!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's an underlying tone, if someone has been reared by decent people, it's there, you can usually sense it so the surface ripples are superficial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me it's an underlying tone, if someone has been reared by decent people, it's there, you can usually sense it so the surface ripples are superficial."
Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay nice give us single ladies hope that somewhere in a land far far away beyond the sea and the mountains etc etc that there is a nice guy out thereeeeeeeeeee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stay nice give us single ladies hope that somewhere in a land far far away beyond the sea and the mountains etc etc that there is a nice guy out thereeeeeeeeeee "

I don't know that song Bonnie, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya I'm the nice guy only turn visious on a football field. But off it ya always the nice guy treated badly in realationship and I am nice on here yet get no where on it I am been myself. And been honest which in general terms should work. But doesn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

Nice guys come last, but bad boys don't last. You have to be a man for all seasons Kear.

Me, I come across as the chatty, confident type, but if a girl takes a chance, she might just get to know the inner me. Witty, adventurous, passionate, loving, loyal, a little bit crazy and a little bit bad, but hey,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, don't you girls just love that

Basically translated into fab, Treat her like a princess and fuck her like a whore. You can't go wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

Nice guys come last, but bad boys don't last. You have to be a man for all seasons Kear.

Basically translated into fab, Treat her like a princess and fuck her like a whore. You can't go wrong.

Respectfull and interesting outside the bedroom ... but bad boy inside the bedroom

nothing sexier than a confident charming man who takes control xx

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By *igerclawsCouple
over a year ago

cork

Nice guys always win over everytime always, Even if woman like bad boys if they mail with a nicely worded mail it works..We as women like to receive and open nice mails which are complimentary even if you don't like Or find that profile attractive a nice mail opens up chat etc .This is a person putting themselves outthere to meet new people just like ourselves . We do find offensive and derogatory phases such as whore slut etc !! We as swingers enjoy the lifestyle as much as anyone else and to have such phrases connected to swinging lifestyle in our view is totally unacceptable it would be interesting to find out other views on this subject thanks for reading and for a chance PLEASE work away on yet comments. Happy fabbing xx

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Personally I don't find "derogatory" phrases offensive, other than the C word used outside of the smut conversation between two/more people in the moment.

We're swingers, let it hang

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By *ohndunboyneMan
over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

I forgot to say, I'm a nice guy. The bold can be drawn out if the other lady is of a similar nature.

Was a bad boy when younger and yes, got a lot of sex as a result of reputation but I prefer what I get from being nice.

Issue - I think women are afraid to express their true desires to a nice guy. They think they'll scare/offend them. Just cos we're nice doesn't mean we always were, or aren't Kinky/exploratory!

Try us and see. If you're sexy, to us, we're more than likely gonna be more than willing and may surprise you with our ideas

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By *igerclawsCouple
over a year ago

cork

"Personally I don't find "derogatory" phrases offensive, other than the C word used outside of the smut conversation between two/more people in the moment.

We're swingers, let it hang

Well let it hang as you say might work for you but in reality when a person is phrased as a whore or slut you would be in the wrong place .There are plenty of places you can spend your Euro which would entitle you to use such phrases in .It sure does give an insight into your mind when you go to meet the people you meet If this works for any lady who is willing to meet you then fair play that would be their choice. This is not a cattle market where people can speak of lady's in equal or better standers that you might be accustomed to then again this would be our strong view happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I don't find "derogatory" phrases offensive, other than the C word used outside of the smut conversation between two/more people in the moment.

We're swingers, let it hang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is being too nice a turn off on here or what now? Or is the bad boy charm the way to go now?

Nice guys come last, but bad boys don't last. You have to be a man for all seasons Kear.

Basically translated into fab, Treat her like a princess and fuck her like a whore. You can't go wrong.

Wine and posting on forums should never be mixed

Scarlet for myself #morto

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By *elfastCpl4FunCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"Great thread... i've found that the nicer you are in a friendship or relationship, the more you suffer and the worse you are treated if the friendship/relationship collapses . Maybe the females of today prefer the tougher type guy who doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve and keeps hus emotions to himself or Maybe this is to do with the rise of women power and females being more assertive and authoritarian.... thats my opinion. Females please feel free to rip me apart

people can only treat you as badly as you let them my friend! too many folks think allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat is part and parcel of 'being nice'. learn to separate the two and you'll be a whole lot happier

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Well feck it anyway. I shouldn't have read this thread. I'm completely confused.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I'm glad this is still boiling over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay true to yourself and don't over analyse it...just enjoy the ride

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop looking to others to find out how you should be..

Sad state of affairs we live in nowadays! Be you and if it doesn't attract the person you think you want and she isn't interested then she isn't for you.

No such thing as a bad boy or too nice so why be fake to try attract the wrong person

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I think this is a fantastic thread because a lot of men think you're exclusively one OR the other: a nice guy or a bad lad and that's life...

Truth is, I think there's a good guy and a bad guy side to any man same as there's a naughty girl side with any polite woman, that needs to get unleashed every so often

Thing is, when initially meeting a woman in public, a lot of guys will be friendly and sociable and come across as a coy gay best friend, while other guys will just talk straight away about sex with one hand on a woman's thigh.

I see this whole good guy-bad boy thing as a spectrum and balancing act. A woman meets a guy who's articulate and friendly. He starts to get a little cheeky and seeds a few bold suggestions into the convo revealing his roguish side, just a little. So yes, a guy can be a both an absolute gent in public

a cheeky charmer then one very naughty fucker in the bedroom

As for me, am a good boy myself

most of the time

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